I can see her. As clear as if it was a mirror reflection. Drinking tea in a garden full of flowers, she was with another woman. Azure blue eyes and deep crimson lips. Her blond hair was long and wavy in a victorian fashion, locks of hair were pulled back with a hairpin decorated with pearls and white little roses. Her dress was opulent and mighty, a ivory luxurious damask fabric made her look calm and full of grace and poise yet all I could feel when I looked at her was bubbling rage and madness, I could see it in her eyes. Not even all the lace and pears could mask it. I knew that woman and still I looked at her like it was the first time I saw her. I saw that face for twenty two years, it was me.

It could not be. To me it all seemed to be too real to be a dream, almost as it was a memory of a past life.

Loud sirens were heard in the Hellsing Organization. Everybody woke up in a confused atmosphere of slight panic. We all processed to dress our daily uniform and run to the courtyard. Waiting for us was Coronel Johnson, Sir Integra and Seras.

-As you might have figured out, there has been a surprise attack a few hours ago. A small town in Ipswich has been attacked by ghouls. -Integra explained.

-IRIS! -Coronel Johnson called me in a loud and clear voice. -Tonight you will be in charge of the Battalion M4, you will attack North-East and save as many people as you can.

Nervous I looked at Seras, she seemed confident on her hierarchical level of lieutenant. My eyes ran to Integra and met her's. Was that a slight concern that I could identify in her eyes?

Me and my battalion started to run to the helicopter. I was nervous and my stomach threatened to expel everything it has consumed. I felt uncomfortable with every single organ I had inside of me, like it was itching.

We arrived at our destiny and I could hear the grunts coming from below. Our helicopter landed and we rushed out of it. It was my first mission of such importance. I was in front and moved silently to the ghouls dominated area. The small town seemed abandoned, in silence and broken and once loved goods.

We arrived to the center of the attack. Ghouls were devouring humans like they were nothing more than rats. Blood and guts scattered all over. I saw one ghoul in a true delight and silently, I came closer. It was devouring a child. Thousand of ghouls devouring the life of innocents.

-Send as many as you can back to Hell. - I said to my battalion as I started shooting every ghoul I saw.

Bullets pierced their rotten head and they fell to the ground. Some grunted like people, other accepted their death as a ghoul. The metallic sound of cartridges, the ghouls grunts, everything started disappearing. Only a voice ...

"Come to me ..."

So close and so sweet. That heavenly voice was not mother's. I heard it before, I knew it, it was as intimate to me as my one conscience's voice. I stood still in the middle of the battlefield, everything disappeared from this world beside that voice. The time seemed slower and everything seemed confused. All of a sudden someone pushes me to the floor, as I fell I've came back to myself. Paul was beside me on the floor, a ghoul tried to attack me but Paul avoided. His weapon was out of his reach and as I grabbed mine to shoot the ghoul I see Paul's head getting crushed between the ghoul's teeth. Blood splattered me in the face, I was in shock and I felt like I had weights on my arms but I could not hesitate, I raised my gun and pointing right to the ghoul's head I shot it. I stood and there was nothing around me ... only death. Dead bodies everywhere. My battalion was decimated.

"Come to me ..."

-Why don't you just shut up?! -I took off my helmet and started screaming. I was on my knees and my head seemed like it was going to explode. -Go away ! Go away ! Go away ! I'm becoming insane !

Desperation filled my lungs and made it hard to breath, I closed my eyes to the world, my brain was melting inside my head. A mixture of feelings made me feel closer to insanity than ever.

-Go away, go away, go away. Please go away ... I beg you ...

Drowning in my despairing madness I heard a little branch breaking. In conniption I stood up and started shooting everywhere. It was a woman. She was now dead. I felt hysterical, I couldn't control myself. Someone grabbed my leg, someone from my battalion. I saw his face but I couldn't recognize him even though I saw his face a thousand times.

-Iris... We do not kill innocents ... -He whispered with a frail breathing.

I stomped him like a little bug and pointed my gun to his head.

-There is no such thing as innocents. Everyone must die ... -and I shot.

Someone caressed my neck, I looked back and I felt like I came back home. I knew those light grey eyes, that white pure hair. I smiled. He grabbed my hand and bowed kissing it.

-My angel ...