《The Queen Below》Chapter 9
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I confided in Alecto, giving her a lot more personal information and deep-rooted feelings than I was usually comfortable with.
I asked her how she had known I liked women without even knowing me, and she informed me that it was about instincts and the way I reacted to men. She told me that even if I didn't know if the woman I liked also shared my inclinations, the only way to find out was to ask, or to show her how I really felt and hope for the best.
When I finally admitted that I felt guilty for thinking of Hades in such a demeaning way and how horrible it made me feel, Alecto's eyes softened and she took my hands in hers.
"You know as well as I that it is far more common, and sometimes even celebrated, for men to take lovers of the same gender than it is for us, but that does not make it wrong to feel the way that you do. How can anything be wrong about such a thing as simply caring for someone? There's nothing to be done about your feelings, but there's nothing you should do to prevent it. What you feel is normal, in both pure and dark desires, and it is perfect. Loving women is not wrong and you should never, ever feel guilt because of it. Be shameless and reckless and giving with your love, Persephone. You are a goddess, after all, and we take and love what we want."
I had started crying then, an unstoppable swell of emotion that caused my shoulders to heave at the release of the fear and doubt I had been keeping locked away. At first, I had tried in vain to swipe them away before they spilled, but Alecto pulled me into an embrace and held me until I stopped shaking.
She murmured more soft assurances as I dried my eyes and tried to breathe, and sent me off with, "Persephone, show her how you feel."
My shoulders, along with my soul, felt lighter and cleansed as I headed back to the palace and slipped into bed. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep immediately.
My dreams of Hades were light and full of love and happiness, a reflection of my newfound hope.
Sometime during the night or early in the morning, I woke from the sound of someone coming into my room, or perhaps it had been a dream. It felt too hazy and surreal to be anything except a dream.
I was still too asleep to open my eyes but I asked, "Hades, is that you?"
"Yes," she murmured quietly. "I've only just returned."
My head still pressed into my pillow, I reached out blindly for her, still thinking I was dreaming because I always had more courage in my dreams. "Mmmmm, Hades... Come here."
She took my hand and climbed into bed with me without saying anything, the bed shifting as she settled in next to me and wrapped her arm around my waist. As I drifted back to sleep, she pressed her lips into my shoulder and sighed.
When I woke up, it took me several moments to realize that inviting Hades into my bed was not something my subconscious had dreamed up to torment me. Hades' arm was still loosely hanging over my waist. My face blanched at the realization, but when I turned my head and saw Hades was still sleeping, my expression softened.
As I watched her sleep, her chest rising and falling against my shoulder, her hair fanned out across my pillows, I thought about what Alecto had told me.
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It was not wrong to feel this way about Hades.
It was not wrong to want to kiss Hades or think about making love to her.
I repeated those phrases in my mind while I thought of ways to show Hades how I felt about her. I could just tell her outright, or wake her up by kissing her, but nothing I thought of felt right to me. Perhaps, if the time ever came around, I would know.
Instead of doing anything rash, I turned to face Hades and moved to close the gap between our bodies. Hades moved to accommodate space for me without waking up, and as a result, our legs tangled together and we were in each other's embrace. I rested my head on the same pillow she was using and started to stroke her hair softly. I drifted back to sleep with my heart singing.
Later, soft fingertips brushed through my temple and hair to wake me. I opened my eyes to find Hades watching me. "I'm glad you stayed. I missed you."
"I missed you as well, Persephone."
"How was your trip?"
"Unpleasant as usual, but the Titans will not escape today, so I suppose that's good. I certainly didn't expect to be welcomed home in such a way, but I can't say I mind very much." Hades smiled.
"I thought last night was a dream."
"Do you dream of me often, Persephone?" Hades' smile turned sharper and my face heated, but someone knocked on the door and Hades turned away from me to yell, "Go away, would you?"
"But Lord Hades..." Markos practically whined.
"It's okay, Persephone. I dream of you often." Hades rolled onto her back and continued speaking before I had the chance to sputter a reply. "Although I admit I did leave you once this morning to speak to Markos and Daeira. Imagine my surprise at seeing Thanatos in her bed."
I couldn't help but laugh. If I hadn't heard it myself, I would have been very surprised. "Well, I hope she's in a better mood today."
Hades chuckled as she idly ran her fingers down my arm, causing my skin to break out in goosebumps from the sensation. I didn't try to hide the fact that I was enjoying every second of it. Hades was watching me, probably gauging my expression as her fingertips moved to skim against my thigh. When I willingly parted my thighs for her, she lifted herself slightly over me, dark eyes heavy with something I didn't dare guess. I felt my heart beat faster inside my chest and was vaguely aware of how the tight grip I kept on my power loosened. The torches flared and I inhaled sharply when she pressed her fingers into the soft skin on the inside of my thigh. Her gaze lowered to my trembling lips when she began lowering her head to mine.
Markos knocked again.
Hades looked visibly upset when she had to pull away from me. "Unfortunately, since I delayed this as long as I could, I have to excuse myself. You're welcome to stay in bed, of course."
"No, I'll come with you!"
"You don't have to."
"I'd be happy to accompany you."
Hades pulled me from bed and we went with Markos. He started talking about arrangements, but didn't specify what they were to me. Hades just nodded along and agreed with most of what he was saying. Most of the servants seemed more anxious than usual.
"The servants look happy to have you back."
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"Do they? Well, I certainly would like to think they like having me home, but it's not really because of that."
"What is happening, then?"
"The yearly excursion to Elysium is quickly approaching. I hadn't realized it was happening so soon, or I would have gone to visit the Hekatonkheires sooner. Poor time management on my part. Markos did most of the preparation while I was away. For all his faults, he's capable."
"That explains why I didn't see him very much. For that, I'm glad."
Hades chuckled, but as we passed the grand library, we spied Thanatos and Daeira inside. "It's nice to see you fully clothed, Thanatos."
He paled slightly, as if that were possible. "Yes, well, about that..."
"What? Are you shy? You certainly weren't last night." Daeira laughed. "Yes, we had sex. I don't think Hades or Persephone care very much."
"You're certainly forward about it."
"And did you enjoy your night, Persephone?" Daeria turned to me, a bemused expression on her face.
It was my turn to pale, but Hades reached out and touched her thumb to my cheek as she chuckled. "Oh, I think Persephone is shy, too."
Another set of doors were thrown open with a bang, the sound echoing. "What is this I heard? Hades was gone, leaving poor Persephone all by herself, and my bastard of a brother didn't even tell me? You're a traitor, Thanatos! I am going to tell Mother about this!"
Thanatos looked at Hades, probably in fear, and she just gave him a look that told him he was on his own.
Hypnos rounded the corner before Thanatos was able to pull away from Daeira, which made Hypnos look between them suspiciously. "Great, my brother has been playing house this entire time, but at least Daeira sacrificed herself to keep his dirty hands off you, Persephone. I'm going to go drown my loneliness in sex, wine, and more sex."
All of us laughed.
"That sounds like a solid plan."
"You go do that," I said through my smile.
"Before I leave, I have to say that you look particularly ravishing today, Persephone."
Hades gazed softly at me. "She does, doesn't she?"
"She's going to slay us all with her beauty."
"Well, it's a good thing I'm immune." Daeira laughed.
At first, I thought she meant because she wasn't interested in women, but then it seemed like all of us realized her meaning at once.
"Oh, Gods, Daeira. I apologize," Thanatos murmured in horror.
Daeira waved him off. "It's alright."
"Well, on that note, I'm off," Hypnos said suddenly and moved to leave. "Glad to see you back, Hades."
"It's not like you even noticed, Hypnos!" Hades called after him, laughing.
The next few days seemed to pass by like a dream and the palace seemed alive for the first time since I arrived. The servants were flurries of motion and a surprising amount of life. Hades was too swept up in last-minute plans, none of which were ever really explained to me, and barely had time to see me. She didn't spend the night with me, though I suspect if I asked, she would have gladly joined me again.
I noticed the way Daeira watched us when Hades and I were together. Any observer knows what heavy stares and quickly broken eye contact means, and I was an observer by nature, though I had been all but blinded by Hades' and her brilliance. Daeira suspected something had changed between us and I knew it had. Perhaps the catalyst had been my conversation with Alecto and inviting Hades to bed or, perhaps, it had been slowly growing over time.
As much as I was glad to be with Hades again, I was also glad for her absence. She was too distracted to notice how I had changed or she could have just decided to not mention it. It was getting easier to conceal my power in much healthier ways, though I still snuck away at night to further discover my capabilities.
Not only did I have extreme precision with my control of flame, I was able to summon darkness around me to suit my needs. I could blend into the shadows and seem to disappear completely, or I could make it tangible. It started as a vague thing, a pool of darkness circling my calves, but it could lash out and be used defensively. The more I practiced, the more malleable the darkness became, until I could mold it to my body like a suit of living armor.
I felt invincible.
I started to wonder what Athena would think of me now, if she would be proud of how strong I had become, and I made the mistake of thinking about my sister while trying to take myself back to the palace.
Because when the darkness dissipated, I was no longer in the Underworld, and I muttered a thousand curses under my breath.
It was nighttime, so the difference wasn't startling at first, but I realized I was not standing in front of the palace. The air itself felt lighter and open, but ruins of a mortal temple surrounded me. The architecture was an obvious giveaway. I could hear the sound of war in the distance, of people screaming as they died. The remnants of parchment and wood were still smoking and the smell of death, decaying and burning bodies, was making it more than slightly difficult to breathe. I pushed a corpse with the edge of my sandal and it rolled over to reveal a badly burnt priestess.
"Well, that's certainly a shame."
I heard someone approaching and quickly gathered darkness around me as I stepped into the shadow of a column.
"Persephone, are you here?" It was Athena, removing her golden helm.
I released the darkness and stepped forward. "Hello, sister."
"What are you doing here? You know it isn't safe, not yet!"
"I'm going to be honest with you... this was an accident, though I'm glad to see that you're well."
"I'm glad to see you as well, but if anyone else sees you, it's over. Go back to the Underworld," she hissed, but her eyes scanned my appearance. "I see you've been faring well."
"Okay, but before I go, let me show you this." I summoned the darkness to fit the shape of my body and made it resemble Athena's armor as it hardened, then a flame in the vague shape of a sword was in my hand. "Isn't this amazing?"
Athena laughed as she pulled me into a hug. "What did I always say? I always knew you were destined for greatness. Now, please go, Persephone. Someone could come along at any second or sense your presence as I did."
I kissed her cheek and bid her farewell. "I love you, sister."
Athena nodded and slid her helm back on as the darkness enveloped me and dumped me at an entrance to Hades' palace. I hurried inside, using the darkness as a precaution to make myself unseen, and immediately took a bath in my quarters.
I wanted no trace of my unexpected visit to the mortal world discovered. My nose had become immune to the smell of death, but I was sure it was clinging to me like my darkness. I thoroughly washed my hair, body, and even the peplos I had been wearing, all the while thinking of how I had been able to go to the mortal world without any difficulty at all, how all I had to do was think of Athena and suddenly I was transported to her.
When I was satisfied with smelling only like roses, I slipped into bed and realized I was actually weary. The journey to the mortal world and back must have taken a lot of energy, though I hadn't noticed earlier. I slipped into blissfully dreamless sleep.
I woke up to Hades unabashedly watching me in bed. "Were you planning on waking me up anytime soon?" I asked sleepily as I stretched.
"Yes, well, you seemed like you needed it and I... got distracted."
The room was heavy with the warmth of the fire I had left on during my sleep. I smothered it with a thought as I continued stretching, but realized my sheets had fallen away sometime during the night, leaving my breasts exposed while I slept. "Apologies," I murmured as I sat up and gathered the sheets around me again. "I didn't expect anyone to come in, what with how busy you and Daeira have been."
"Oh, I don't mind at all, Persephone, although if you want to accompany me to Elysium, we should be leaving soon."
"You want me to go with you?"
"Well, I had planned on you coming with me, but if you don't want to..."
"Of course I would like to go. I just planned on being excluded, like usual."
Hades raised her eyebrow at my comment. "Everyone is waiting for us so you better dress quickly and dress light. Just wear a short chiton under your himation." She pulled back her himation to show that she was wearing a short chiton under it.
"Why?"
"You'll see." Hades smiled as she left my bedroom.
I joined everyone else outside the main entrance to the palace and I was stunned to see exactly how many servants Hades had. Apparently, the servants were incredibly good at remaining undetected and out of the way at all times. Hades was speaking to Hecate and the twins in quiet voices but Daeira joined my side.
"You're coming, too?"
"Hades invited me. It's probably some way to show me what I'm missing out on."
"Do you know how we're even going to get there?"
"No."
Hades beckoned us over. "I'm glad you decided to join us, Persephone. I wouldn't want you to miss this."
"I'm curious to see how you're going to take everyone there."
"You'll see." Hades nodded to Hecate and the twins, who moved to take their places around the massive group of spirits.
I felt the power before I saw it manifest, how heavy it fell upon all of us. The deities were summoning it between them and I could sense how powerful they were together. My own power, the power of the Underworld, was safely locked away but struggled to get free to join them. I knew I could help if I wished, to lighten the burden on the four of them, but it wasn't the right time. I stood and silently observed as the darkness flooded up from the ground and raced up everyone's bodies until we were blinded by it.
When the darkness faded, I didn't think we were in the Underworld. A bright sun warmed my face and a grain-scented breeze lifted my hair. Opening my eyes revealed that what my other senses had been telling me was true.
Before me, hills of grass, wheat, and flowers rolled into a seemingly endless blue horizon, though I spied elaborate marble buildings in the distance and figures moving towards us. Around me, all the spirits had taken corporeal forms, looking just like they were alive again, even Daeira, who was marveling at her skin.
I spied Thanatos watching Daeira with soft eyes, admiring how her beauty was even more apparent.
A hand slipped over mine and I looked up to see Hades smiling at me. "What do you think, Persephone? Was it worth the visit?"
"How is this even possible?"
"Oh, you know..." Hades just trailed off as a man approached us.
"Was the journey difficult, Lord Hades?"
"No more than usual, Rhadamanthus."
"Rhadamanthus? I hardly recognize you." I laughed. "What are you doing here?"
"Ah, yes, I hardly recognize myself when I leave. As for your other question, I live here. I'm the Lord of Elysium."
"The Judges stay in Elysium when they aren't busy." Hades murmured in my ear.
"Oh, apologies. I had forgotten," I murmured. "Well, what do we do now?"
"We relax. The servants will go spend time with their families and we can do whatever we'd like."
"In that case..." I waved my hand and the field around us flushed a vibrant spring green as new flowers grew. I heard several of the servants gasp and clap.
Hades smiled and tugged on my arm playfully before running off. "Come on!"
I gladly gave chase, letting my powers of life run rampant, letting them grow everything from weeds to trees. As I ran after her, my heart felt like it could burst. The sun Hemera brought with her during her visits was small and peculiar, so I had never truly seen Hades in the sunlight. This had been one of my many dreams, seeing her in the sun, with life all around us, though I never imagined it could turn out to be true.
Entire orchards grew around us because of my happiness, but I could tell that Hades was slowly leading me to the buildings.
"What's over there?"
Hades slowed and walked beside me. "The buildings? Oh, that's the polis. It's where most of the spirits live."
"What's the name of it?"
"It doesn't really have one, or should I say it has many? You know how the mortals are. Their cities change names with who comes to power, and how time passes. The name of the polis changes often, but it's just from new souls coming to live there."
"Is it nice?"
"It's perfect, as per what the people deserve. I think they would like to meet you."
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