What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.

Helen Keller

He threw his backpack on the table in his house and managed to get out of clothing before he let the change overcome him. He hadn't had a problem with shifting against his will in years at that point.

At that moment though he had known that he wouldn't be able to stop the shift from happening for any longer.

He hit the ground on four paws, every inch of his body shuddering with just so suppressed instincts and he forced himself to run in exactly the opposite direction that everything was yearning inside him to go.

Luke ran, darting inside the forest and then keeping a directory north, perpendicular to the shore and away from Fairbury. Away from his pack, away from everybody. He needed...He needed privacy. Somewhere quiet to order his thoughts, somewhere...somewhere he could have his freakout about this without anybody finding out.

Finally, he turned left and carefully jumped down towards the beach to the small beach cove that was there. There was also a small cave there that Luke was pretty sure he was one of the few people that actually knew about, but that day, he went to the edge of the water, pacing.

If anybody saw the huge black wolf walking along the beach, they would have been able to see the shuddering running through every muscle, the way it even now started to listen to hear anything out of the ordinary, anything that wasn't safe.

Luke could feel the displeasure of his wolf, who had wanted to go see Daphne again, run through him.

He couldn't. Not like this. The displeasure just heightened and he howled angrily in response. It wasn't like Luke himself didn't want to. He just somehow doubted that it was a good idea for a big black wolf to show up to Daphne and lay down in front of her bed.

Mates.

He was well and truly fucked. Oliver would probably want to rip off his head for that. Daphne was in no damn way prepared what was coming for her.

She was a human, she had no idea werewolves even existed. She wasn't a werewolf herself.

Of course, he could bite her if she wanted it, but only after they both had turned 18. Being mated to a human could get...difficult. Humans were so easily breakable.

Especially her. She looked so fragile.

A car accident could kill her easily, a shot, being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Luke could snap her in two pieces. She was no match for his strength. Alone the thought of that resulting in an upset howl escaping his muzzle. He couldn't hurt her. He couldn't.

At least his instincts agreed with that. He was her mate, he was supposed to protect her, he...couldn't hurt her.

His instincts were calling for him to bite her and change her.

They wanted him to mount her, claim her and bite her again, make her submit to her alpha.

They wanted to make her his in every possible way. He shuddered at that.

He couldn't. He couldn't. Not like that. Not yet.

He had always been careful with every girl he had been with, fully well knowing that he could easily hurt them. But with her...with her there was the added fear that he was going to lose his grip on his instincts and give in to them, do to her what his instincts called out to him to do.

His wolf had never cared about any girl he had taken to bed, but Daphne...Daphne was already recognised as his future mate, as the mother of his future cubs.

They were far too young for that line of thinking, he was aware of that.

Even for them. Wolves found love early and held on to that. He knew that his parents had married when they were only 23 and had them just 9 months later. The instincts had pushed his parents into having children and Luke had always known that the same would happen to him.

It was just startling to realise how quickly that happened. It already was happening, the wolf nearly purring with contentment at the realisation that there was a mate to get home to. A mate to spend time with. A mate to father a future alpha with.

Right.

What was the plan? What should he do?

How exactly was he supposed to explain this? Not only to Daphne but to Caroline and Matthew? Or even his parents? To Ollie and Grace?

What if she didn't like him? What if she continued to be as scared of him as today? He could feel his wolf's displeasure at that again.

She was his mate, she wasn't supposed to be scared off him. Respect him, yes. Submit to her Alpha when the situation called for it, yes.

But not look at him in fear. Never in fear.

He needed to get her to relax around him. The question was just how. How should he go on about that?

He could hope that she would get used to his presence if he spent enough time with her. Try to get her to see his presence as something nice that she wanted and not something negative that she dreaded.

Finally, finally, he turned back around, slowly trotting back home. He was yearning to go to the Hyde's House, to try and sneak a peek at Daphne in her room. To know that his mate was safe.

He didn't. Way to go not be a total stalker, Luke, he praised himself mentally.

When he finally arrived back home, he got dressed again and then went to the main house.

He had started sleeping in that small cabin just behind the main house around a year ago, everything so that he didn't need to hear his sister and her mate whenever they had their fun.

It gave him a breathing space away from happily mated couples all around him.

His father's car just came down the driveway and Luke stopped for a moment, waving at him.

"Hey, dad," he greeted his father, letting him pull him in a side hug and ruffle his hair, even when by now Luke could look his father straight into the eye.

"Good evening," his father gave back. "Did you already have dinner?"

"I don't know, I went for a run," Luke admitted, which made his father look up in surprise. Luke didn't ever slack off to just go for a run if he still had schoolwork to do or his mother made dinner. If he ever went out alone that either early in the morning or late in the evening.

"Is everything alright?" His father asked him softly and a part of Luke wanted to just come clean in that moment. His father would know what to do. His father always knew what to do.

"Yes, I just...I needed to think," He admitted softly.

"I am there if you want to talk, Luke," his father told him and Luke knew that to be the complete and utter truth.

"Not yet. Soon." He looked at his father, mentally begging him to understand what he wasn't saying and his father nodded.

"Of course. Whenever you are ready, son."

***

She flinched when a howl cut through the quietness. It wasn't late, not really, but she had still already curled up on her bed, the room dark. She had been unable to sleep, laying on the too comfortable bed, her back aching.

As another howl joined the first, Daphne was unable not to shiver again.

There were wolves here? In Maine? Was that normal?

Another howl ripped through the silence, her heart starting to beat faster. They wouldn't get near to the house, right? They couldn't hurt her.

"Daphne?" Ollie's voice came from the door and she flinched when he flicked on the light.

"Is everything alright?" He asked her gently. She knew that she probably made quite a sorry sight, shaking on the bed, pressed against the headboard.

"Are these wolves?" She brought out and Ollie nodded, seemingly amused. He came to sit on the edge of the bed and looked out of the window.

"The population is a bit out of control around here," he told her, a smile playing around his mouth and she flinched as another howl came through the night.

"Hey, they aren't going to hurt you," Ollie soothed her. "They won't come near the house. And even when some rabid wolf decides to attack, mum has a shotgun."

Her startled look seemed to amuse him even more. A gun? In the freaking house?

"I suppose country living is a bit different than New York City," he added and she could just nod.

"There are no wolves howling at night," she whispered. And also her mother surely had not kept a gun in the house.

"We should get you a desk or something," Ollie suddenly said, looking at the empty place beneath the window and she just shrugged.

"It's fine," she told Ollie softly. She didn't need a desk. She already had a bed that was more comfortable than anything else she had ever slept on.

For a moment she remembered that closet she had slept in for a few months, remembered how she had slept on the floor until she had finally gotten a camping bed a few months later.

"We could make a day out of it. Get Luke and Grace to help us. They can actually handle power tools," Ollie suggested.

Because Luke and Grace surely had nothing better to do. Alone the thought about asking Ollie's friend for anything was making Grace want to cower. He was at least two heads taller than her, had probably 80 pounds of pure muscle mass on her and while he had seemed nice enough, he had scared her.

He was calm and near-silent, his eyes watching her attentively though. They had been a deep green colour, the same of his sister, reminding Daphne of the needles of a fir. Luke had seemed nice enough, but she was not going to get on his nerves. Or Ollie's. Or Grace's. They were nice to her, but Daphne had learned by now not to overstay her welcome.

She would just do her best to melt into the background of the school, would find some corner to sit, where nobody else ever sat and keep her head down.

Maybe her last 2 years of High school could be relatively peaceful. Maybe nobody would think her to be the easy victim of bullying again.

"Are you gonna paint the walls?" Ollie interrupted her thoughts and she looked at the walls for a moment. Currently, they were white, with a blue undertone. It wasn't terrible. It was nice.

"I don't know yet," she answered truthfully.

She would love something sunny...maybe yellow. Or something dark and moody. Maybe a dark green.

"What colour were the walls in your old room?" Ollie enquired and Daphne couldn't help but pull a face.

"Grey-ish," she answered. The colour had been unrecognisable by that point, probably darkened from the original by cigarette smokes and who knew what else. There had been a few splatters on the wall that Daphne had been quite certain once had been blood. "The paint was coming off though."

Another howl cut through the night and she looked outside.

"Will they keep on howling?" She asked Ollie.

"No, they should shut up soon," Oliver said with a sigh.

"Try to get some sleep, Little Red Riding Hood. No bad wolves are gonna get you, I promise," he told her with a grin as he stood up and left the room, shutting off the light as he went.

Daphne tried to fall asleep again, tossing and turning.

Her dreams were messy and not making any sense. It wasn't helped by the fact that the wolves made an appearance as well, growling and scary.

They were huge black beasts, staring down at her, growling and showing their white gleaming teeth. She woke up gasping when she dreamed that one of them had its teeth at her throat.

It had felt real.

The cold wet nose, the hot mouth, the sharp teeth pressed against her neck.

***

"Apparently Haley is now telling people that you are gay," Jason Collins announced when they finally got into the locker room after practice that evening. Coach Bell had been the literal devil to them that afternoon, as the next game was coming up in two weeks and it was against their arch-rivals in the fight about the Lobster Bowl.

Yes, that's what they called their High School and Maine based version of the Super Bowl. The Lobsterbowl. The High School that won would get a silver Lobster Trophy and too many real lobsters to eat.

The next game would be The Fairbury Wolverines against the Riverside Rebels, and Luke wanted to win. Well, he wanted to actually decimate the Rebels, but he would be fine with winning.

"Is she doing that now?" Luke asked with a sigh. If it was only that, he could deal with it.

"That's the only reason why you could have possibly broken up with her," Jason continued, a bright grin on his face and Luke just rolled his eyes at the fellow werewolf as he pulled his shirt over his head.

Of course, Hayley would think that. That she was so amazing that there was no reason to end that relationship other than he had been gay the whole time.

He should have just gone on to ignore her horrid personality and continue to be together with her, to not endanger her chances at being Prom Royalty.

"Couldn't get it up for a girl, Schuyler?" Kyle Wilder baited him and Luke levelled him with a single look.

His and Kyle's...rivalry, if you could call it that because Luke couldn't care less to be honest, had been going on for the last two years and it had become quite heated ever since Luke had become the Quarterback of the football team.

Since then Kyle always tried to bait Luke into reacting to his taunts and Luke just rolled his eyes. Kyle was a human and so as much as Luke wanted to beat the hell out of him, that wasn't exactly a good idea.

His father would probably have his head for even entertaining the thought.

"I broke up with her because she is a vapid and arrogant individual that told me that my sister was a bitch," Luke gave back drily. "Any other questions?"

"Oh and Kyle, regarding your not really well hid homophobia: My uncle is gay. I have not a single problem with that, but I am not even bi-curious myself," Luke told him with a pointed look. His uncle had gotten enough shit for the rest of his life.

Werewolves weren't homophobic on the whole, but it was rare that there was a gay werewolf because they were a relatively small population and breeding was a biological concern. There were more "traditional packs" that were homophobic to the extreme, even going as far as disowning members that were. Luke's own father had kicked three families out of the pack when his uncle had come out because they had protested his continued membership in the pack.

"Oh and I thought I could have a chance with you," Ollie joked, batting his eyes at him and Luke just looked at him, ignoring the laughter around them.

"Grace would gladly kill us both," he deadpanned.

"At least we die together. Tragically," Ollie said theatrically, making most of the other boys in the room laugh loudly.

"You really think you are so great, don't you?" Kyle snapped and Luke just rolled his eyes.

"Sure," he said drily. "I am amazing."

***

Fairbury High School was housed in a big brick building that looked like it was already a few hundred years old.

It was far smaller than what Daphne had been used to from New York, but it seemed nice enough when she trailed behind her aunt for that meeting with the headmaster.

It took less than 20 minutes total, to sort out Daphne's new schedule. She would take Creative Writing and Art as electives and Art Club in the afternoon.

Daphne was more than happy with that.

She should have known that that happiness wouldn't last long.

"I have a meeting with the...funeral home and the priest this afternoon," Caroline told her when they arrived home. That brought Daphne harshly back to the present.

Right. That's why she was staying here now. That's why she didn't need to worry about food or the rent anymore.

Her mother was dead.

"Do you want to come?" Caroline asked her. Did she want to come? To the funeral parlour? To talk about...

"Do I need to?" She brought out, staring at the cup of tea in her hand and her aunt stepped behind her, gently touching her hair.

"No, honey, of course not," her aunt told her softly. "Is there...anything you want at the funeral? A song perhaps? I probably should have asked before but..."

Daphne could just shake her head. "I...I have her things in my room. If you need..." Daphne said, unable to end the sentence. Something for her mother to wear to the funeral.

"Yes, that's...that's good. Is there anything that you want to keep?" Her aunt asked her and she just shook her head. She fetched suitcase, handing it off to her aunt without as much of a hesitation. It were just things at this point.

"Could...Could you keep it somewhere else, please?" Daphne finally brought out. She didn't want that suitcase anywhere in her room anymore.

Caroline looked startled by her request but nodded. "I'll put in on the attic. It will be there whenever you want it, Daphne."

Daphne went to hide in her room afterwards, her aunt getting ready to go to the funeral home, meeting Matthew there.

She went to the kitchen table after Caroline had left, stealing an old chipped mug from the kitchen, cracking open her new sketchbook and then trying out her new watercolours for the first time. She could make something pretty. Anything that wouldn't remind her off her mother.

She painted the beach after a little while, trying to match the grey tone of the big stones near the house, the rough sand, the stormy ocean.

Daphne concentrated on that and only looked up when she heard the door open.

"Hello!" That was Ollie's voice, seemingly excited and she peeked around the corner to find him enter the living room, Grace and Luke trailing behind him.

Apparently Daphne hadn't yet seen the last of these two.

"Hi," she brought out softly as they filled the kitchen, all of them moving like they had been there thousands of time. It was seemingly well-choreographed as Ollie fetched glasses and water, and Luke and Grace began to get out there things to do homework.

She jumped when he sat down next to her, Grace on her other side, leaving the seat across from her open for Ollie.

"What are you painting?" He asked her interestedly, peeking over to her sketchbook.

"The beach," she brought out, suddenly dry. He invaded her space slightly to get a better look at the picture and she couldn't help but breathe in his scent.

He smelled warm. Warm and musky. She couldn't figure out what exactly it was but it smelled good. Nearly too good.

"That looks beautiful," he told her softly then and she looked startled at him, seeing him smile. It wasn't. The rocks were all wrong, the colours not muted enough, the proportions were off and it looked...terribly.

"Thank you," she whispered. Her stomach was roiling with nerves and she needed to swallow to wet her suddenly dry throat.

"How was your meeting at the school?" Grace asked then, paging through a book until she found what she wanted.

"Good, I got a schedule," Daphne answered hesitantly, unsure if Grace actually wanted to hear about it.

"Oh, can I see?" The other girl asked with a smile and Daphne stood up to fetch it from the fridge, where Caroline had hung it up. Daphne handed it to Grace and then carefully pulled the page out of the sketchbook. She needed to do something else.

"You have English with all of us, Math and History with Luke, French with me, Creative Writing with Ollie, and Art with Kiana," Grace told her excitedly.

Why was Grace excited about that?