Anthony and Sal are debating what to wear to tonight's game as I sit on the couch watching them. They are worse than Maya right now, though it isn't that hard for her since she is still wearing Pmans disgusting smelling jersey. He says that her wearing it is good luck, Ryder disagreed and said my crazy yelling scares away the opposing teams. I personally disagree with both of them, I see the way Ryder practices and I know luck has nothing to do with how good the team is.

Unfortunately their flight came in too late for Ryder to give them the jerseys and he didn't have them this morning when I was over. The house does a big breakfast for Friday home games so Ryder invited me to play with the ladies and eat breakfast after my Game Theory class. He even helped me grade quizzes so I got them all done before my brothers arrived. Before I left I told him we'd find him after the game and the poor thing actually seemed nervous to meet my brothers; but I think part of that might have to do with the draft. Yesterday after everything I called Barb and tried to get some info from her. She didn't offer much just that it is not a good memory for him and one he doesn't talk about with anyone.

"They seem more excited than Maya," Parker says sitting down next to me.

"Yeah especially next to you, why are you dressed for a funeral?"

"I have to see him."

I know him is Bray. I have tried talking to Parker and Ryder has tried to talk to Bray about why they are constantly at each other's throats but neither seem to have an answer. I wish we could solve this and get past it because it has brought a weird tension to the group. Now when plans are made between the two teams everyone gets concerned that both Parker and Bray will go and what fight they will start this time. Since their fist fight they've both been excluded from the prank war because they were solely targeting each other, not that that has stopped them from having their own personal war.

"Twins, are you excited to see Fryder up close and in person?" Luna shoots me a look and Parker has to grab me around the waist so I can't tackle her. For someone who doesn't want me and Ryder together she sure was quick to make a ship name for us. Thankfully men are clueless and Ryder doesn't understand the true meaning behind the name for us.

"What's a Fryder," Anthony asks, grabbing Sals shirt and putting it on.

Sal doesn't even bother fighting him around it and just grabs a different shirt to wear. "Is that what we are eating for dinner? Does the stadium have good food?"

"Fryder is Francesca and Ryder," Maya tells them while also joining us in the living room. As always she looks adorable and for once I feel just as cute. She did my hair and make-up and we are both wearing similar outfits thanks to my new collection of hockey attire, courtesy of Ryders spring cleaning.

"I'm confused, didn't you all hate hockey players like not that long ago?" Sal makes a valid point but I think hate might be a little harsh. I don't think I ever hated Ryder as a person, I just wanted him to take a rocket to the moon so I had the ice to myself.

"Not me," Maya pipes up, seeming actually offended about the accusation. "Anyways, are we going?"

"Yes," I say, grabbing my stuff and moving toward the door. I am ready for the Fryder conversation to end and this seems like the best way.

We are all walking to the arena tonight since there are too many of us going to fit in Tristian's car. The entire figure skating team is coming tonight, a few of the other girls also wearing hockey jerseys loaned to them. I am pretty sure for most it isn't a romantic gesture, like Ryder the rest of the team was tired of us all showing up and not repping the hockey team. Especially since our joint team friendship has become campus gossip.

"Hey Sal, Ant, can you hang back with me for a second?"

My brothers nod and everyone else continues walking while we walk some distance behind them. Anthony puts his arm around me and the three of us walk in silence while I mull over what exactly to say.

"Listen Ryder is... the draft, well... no one knows Ryder is on the Islanders in our group obviously his teammates do but no one on my team knows. Can we keep it that way? Also can we refrain from asking him about the draft or the Islanders? It is a sore subject for him."

Both seem stunned and confused but I can't give them more because I don't really know more and even if I did that is Ryder's personal life not meant for people to know. "Sure sis," Anthony says finally and we walk to catch up with the rest of the group.

We arrive to the arena earlier than we usually do but I wanted to get seats behind the team's box. I really enjoyed sitting there and getting to hang out with Ryder last time and I know my brothers will be stoked to be so close. The original tickets we had were pretty shitty. I am not sure what strings Ryder pulled to get those refunded and get us these and the box tickets for tomorrow but he did it. I still haven't figured out a proper way to thank him for everything he did and a stupid breakfast seems far from enough in return.

"This place is sick. I want to get married here."

I look at Sal, who looks 100% serious, as we walk down the stairs to the spot behind the teams bench. I mean I get what he means. This place is amazing, I love it even when it is empty, but wait until he sees it full of people in a little while. "You had no idea Sal."

A little bit later the stadium is full of fans waiting for the teams to come out. I am not sure Ryder is by his phone but I send him a quick text anyways.

Me: Listen hockey boy, big game tonight; don't embarrass me in front of my family.

In true Ryder fashion he answers right away. I wonder if he is on his phone before every game as part of his pregame ritual. I know a lot of players have them and maybe his is like listening to music or doing a crossword puzzle or I don't know watching porn. I won't judge whatever helps him focus.

Ryder: What would you deem acceptable? Would hate to embarrass you.

Me: Hat trick, one goal for each of the ladies.

Ryder: Light work, next time give me a challenge Beck.

He is so cocky sometimes I just want to strangle him. But I know he isn't actually cocky, not like that kid on the junior team he told me horror stories about. Ryder is all bark no bite. With me he pretends to be cocky but he is still so thankful for fans who wait outside the locker room, especially the young fans. Last weekend he gave up his hat, one I know he likes because he re wore it a lot, to a kid who just asked for a picture. That other kid would have never done that but for Ryder he didn't hesitate. Ryder is a good guy but sometimes I think he would disagree with that statement.

The starting line is announced and steps out onto the ice. I think both my brothers go into shock for a moment. As the players who aren't starting climb over the wall to their bench they all say hi to us behind them and someone makes a comment about a dead fish, referring to the latest prank. It involved a dead fish left hidden right outside the backdoor of hockey house so every time they walked in they smelled it. It took them two days to find the fish my team so brilliantly named Sushi.

The puck drops and the game begins. It is a nail biter against Ohio State from the very start. Ryder is on the ice already fighting hard. The team is targeting him specially, never giving him an opening to get the puck. The arena is going insane as the player covering Ryder push him around as he tries to get open for the puck. I can tell this is going to be a long game.

Ryder's line comes off and he rips his helmet off. He didn't even touch the puck that shift which I know it is eating him. He looks over his shoulder and we make eye contact. I try to give an encouraging smile and shoot him a little thumbs up. The corner of his mouth lifts slightly before he turns back to the game.

The game continues scoreless which is better than losing but with 3 minutes left in the first period things are getting aggressive out on the ice from both teams. Ryder's line hops on again and Ryder is skating for his life before the other team has time to cover him. I don't even realize for a second he has the puck until he pulls his stick back and sends the puck flying in the net. As the puck flies at the goal someone on the other team slams into Ryder sending him sliding across the ice.

"Fucking bullshit," I scream echoing the boos and yells from most of the other fans.

Ryder hops up, ready for a fight, but the ref is quick and sends the other player the box. Coach pulls Ryder to check and make sure he is ok. It is still only the first period if Ryder gets hurt now it would be a disaster, not only for tonight but the rest of the season. He is their top goal scorer, without him we'd be in major trouble. As soon as he is off Coach grabs him, checking him out for himself.

Ryder assures him he is fine then grabs a dry erase marker sitting on top of Coaches stuff and sits directly in front of me facing me instead of the game. The arena is so loud it would be impossible for us to talk so instead Ryder draws a single dash on the plexiglass. His first goal, one down two to go.

The period ends and as soon as the team begins walking back to the locker room I pull my phone from my pocket. I know Ryder is fine but something in me needs the confirmation. The words have been burning at the back of my throat since he stepped off the ice.

Me: You ok? Need me to beat that guy up for you?

Ryder: Beck I would stop wearing hats for the rest of my life to see you fight a hockey player. But seriously I am fine, far from the hardest hit I have taken.

Me: Glad to hear, I would hate for you to lose any more teeth.

Ryder doesn't respond but when he returns to the bench he flips me off causing me to laugh. My brothers and friends watch us silently as I stick my tongue out at him in return and he winks at me causing me to laugh even harder. That stupid god damn wink, I am scared to admit this but it is growing on me.

The second period goes by much like the first did, minus Ryder being thrown across the ice. He manages to get another goal but Ohio counters so by the time the period ends it is 2-1 and things are only heating up. Ryder and I didn't really talk the rest of the period besides when he added his second dash but I am perfectly content just watching him.

I don't text him during the second intermission not wanting to be a bother. When the third starts, Ryder's line is on and he quickly pockets the puck into the net, not giving the other team time to react to what he is doing before the goal buzzer is going off. I am going literally insane and I barely have a voice. He isn't on the ice much longer after that and as soon as he is back on the bench he draws his third dash.

"Good job hockey boy," I yell over the crowd. He can't hear me but I know he understands what I said because he mouths back a 'thanks'. Like the good captain he is after he adds his final dash he talks with his teammates and cheers everyone on. Also heckles the opposing team a little which I am doing too so I can't judge. What can I say? Great minds think alike.

With less than a minute left Ohio has basically admitted defeat but Coach still does one final line change and Ryder hops back on for a final shift. Coach, I am learning, loves to put on a good show for the home crowd. The arena is a madhouse as the game winds down to its final moments. Ryder somehow gets the puck in a battle with two Ohio players and races toward the open net. God I bet they regret pulling their goalie now.

Ryder blasts the puck into the net, a little more flashy than needed but the guy just scored 4 goals in a single game so I guess I won't bully him about that, too much. I definitely will still bully him though.

When the game ends my brothers are basically floating on cloud 9 as we all make our way to meet up with the team. "Did you guys enjoy the game," I ask, my voice completely shot as we stand outside the locker room waiting for the guys to come out. Maya is already buried in her phone and Luna and Tristian have left with Parker to avoid any trouble.

"I would die for Carson Ryder," Sal says while Anthony nods enthusiastically next to him.

"Umm okay, that is a little creepy. Please don't scare him when he comes out."

Sal punches Ant as they look at something behind me. I turn around and see that Ryder has exited the locker room and is now making his way over to us. I am not sure what demon takes over my body but without much thought to it I run toward Ryder and jump up to tackle him in a tight hug.

Of course being bigger and stronger than me he catches me with ease as he returns the hug. I am all giggles as he sets me down. He seems pretty happy with a huge grin on his face.

"One for each lady and one for good luck," I note excitedly.

"Nah, that last one was for the OG lady."

"Penelope?"

"You Beck, that last goal was for you." I am stunned into silence. Me? No one has ever dedicated an instagram post to me, let alone a goal. I get this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach at the revelation but I suppress it and turn my attention to the goons behind me.

"Ry, these are my brothers Anthony and Sal."

"Nice to meet you Carson," Sal says first and shakes Ryder's hand.

"Incredible game dude," Anthony adds, shaking his hand next.

"Thanks guys, glad you could come this weekend. Beck has told me a ton about you both."

"Beck," the twins ask in unison looking confused.

"Long story," I sigh, not feeling like explaining it. At least he didn't call me butt.

Carson just laughs at my misery, his favorite source of entertainment I'm pretty sure. "Anyways I am exhausted, Beck. I will text you details about warm ups tomorrow, alright?"

"Perfect, give the ladies kisses for me ok."

"Yeah yeah, I know the drill mom. Night everyone."

Ryder leaves and I introduce my brothers to Alex and Bray and a few other guys before we also leave. My walk home is basically an interrogation about all things Ryder and I surprise myself by how little I am willing to tell. I have never been secretive with my brothers before but for once I want to keep all the inside jokes and memories just to myself and not shared with the world.