I am sweating bullets, despite it being mid-February in Michigan. I can't even remember the last time I was this nervous about anything. I am usually confident, self assured, and nothing can shake me. But spending time with Francescas brothers, has me stressed out.

I have never been the people pleasing type. If you like me, cool. If you don't, also cool. I will never go out of my way to make someone like me. But fuck do I really want them to like me. I have convinced myself I am so nervous because they're fans and I want to live up to their expectations, but I am playing myself by pretending it has nothing to do with their sister. Francesca has become a staple in my life and given her close relationship with her family I know if they don't like me it could ruin our entire friendship. I don't just want Anthony and Sal to like me, I need them to.

I pull up to Francesca's building and decided to walk up to her apartment instead of just sending a text. I rub my hands on my suit pants a hundred times before I get to her front door trying to dry the sweat on my clammy palms. I give one short knock and the door swings open a second later. Lunas' disappointed glare actually helps my nerves a little.

"Sorry I'm not prince charming," I tease, knowing she was hoping for Tristian and not me.

"Nice suit for a guy with fake teeth and hair plugs."

"Butt," I yell pushing into the apartment while Luna turns around and sprints toward their room to tell Francesca her side of the story before I can tell her mine. I briefly notice the twins sitting on the couch but I am on a mission. Luna has it out for me and I will not let her win today's battle.

"You know for two only children you nailed the art of fighting like siblings pretty fast." Francesca rises from her desk where she is finishing her makeup and silences both of us. Luna and I do fight a lot but I think we are just battling for Francesca's attention. Luna is used to being the best friend but lately, I have moved into her place. "Nice suit, maroon is your color. Thought seriously with the hat? Not even in a suit you could ditch it?"

I look down and assess my white button down and maroon suit, it is one I break out rarely but always draws me lots of compliments. "Stop telling people I have fake teeth and hair plugs butt! It isn't funny."

Francesca bites back a smile and lets out a little snort as I pout and whine like a kid. "I'm sorry wyder, can we go now or do you have more complaints for the wambulance," she coos in a small baby voice. I flip her off but I don't even try to fight the small grin.

We both exit her room and Francesca collects her brothers before we all head down to my car. Both her brothers are dressed in jeans and UMichigan sweaters with their skates slung over their shoulders. I try to think of something to say, some conversation to make but everything my mind comes up with makes me cringe. Fuck, I am a cheeseball.

Francesca must sense my panic because she swoops in and saves my ass. "How are the ladies today, did they get their morning fruit?"

"Good, Sof was hiding so good this morning I thought she escaped."

"My sneaky girl, what a brat. How did you find her?"

"Fruit. The second I gave some to P and El she came running."

"Umm, who are the ladies," one of the twins asks. I am realizing now that they're really identical and I have not a single clue how to tell them apart. Their outfits are the same, their hair, their eyes, everything is the same.

"Our rats."

"Ours," I tease. "Thought they were my rats?"

"Yeah well, you usually think wrong so you should be used to this."

"When did they become ours?"

"When I helped you steal them? Last I checked, the ladies wouldn't be alive if not for my insane stealth."

I peek into the back through the rearview mirror and the twins look amused at our debate. That's a good sign, right?

When we pull up to the arena all four of us stare at it with heart eyes. For me and Francesca that is our comfort, our safe place. In there, on the ice, that is where we are most ourselves. "This place is unreal," one of the twins says as we walk in.

"You have no idea," Francesca and I sigh.

I dip into the locker room quickly, while the twins put on their skates, to change into joggers and a t- shirt. I don't need to suit up for awhile so I just put on my skates and grab some pucks and stick for some fun on the ice. I also make sure to grab the twins jerseys on my way out.

When I return Francesca is sitting on the railing watching her brothers skate around joyfully. They look like two kids having the time of their life. "Hey, can you help me with something?"

"Anything," she tells me sincerely.

"How do I tell your brothers apart?" I adjust my hat and try to hide the pink tinge as my cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

"Anthony has a mole on his cheek and Sal has a scar under his eye from a high stick that caught him under his mask." I flinch at the thought of a stick to the face, I know that shit hurts bad.

"Thanks." I hop onto the ice and skate over to her brothers who stop to assess me. I am taller, and bigger, definitely stronger, but they intimidate me a lot more than I think I intimidate them. "A few guys are going to join us in a little but I figured we'd just mess around for now? Beck said you both were wings?"

"Left," Anthony, I think, says.

"Right," Sal adds.

"Perfect, oh and here I meant to give these to you both last night." I nervously hand them each a stick and a jersey which they slip on over their sweaters while I look around desperately for Beck. She is in the same spot still and gives me a little wave when she notices me looking.

I throw some pucks on the ice and we all begin skating around and shooting on the net. Normally the ice soothes me but today I am too tense for even the ice to fix. Neither have made any indication they dislike me but the way they are watching me isn't making me feel overly warm either.

Sal slaps the puck into the net and I quickly try to give him encouragement like I do with my teammates. "Nice goal, Sal."

"Anthony," he says with an amused look on his face.

I go so red I can feel my ears literally burning. I want to disappear. I can't believe I mixed them up. I skate over to Francesca who gives me a sympathetic look. "Trust me, everyone does it."

"I feel stupid," I mumble leaning my head against the railing next to her. She pats my back gently while I wallow in my own pity for a second before collecting myself and standing.

"You are stupid hockey boy but not for that. Now will you stop trying to go easy on my brothers and show them the Carson Ryder I see when we are at practice. My Carson."

Her Carson. My stomach lurches at her words. Her Carson. Suddenly I realize I am going about this all wrong. Francesca is friends with me for me, and if I want her brothers to like me they need to see the person she sees when we are alone at the rink. If that was enough for her, that will hopefully be enough for them.

I glide over to her brothers and skate away with a puck circling the back of the net before giving a sly tip of the puck into the net while never breaking my stride forward away from the net. "Finally," Anthony yells. I know for sure this time it is Anthony.

"We were starting to worry that you were going easy on us or something there, Carson."

"Call me Ryder and never. Just wanted to give you guys a second before I showed you how we do it here."

Both of them nod, impressed, and we continue to skate around and warm up. When some more of the guys show up we split into two teams of four. I give the twins one of our star defenses Brody and Bray in goal while I take Stan, Dunk, who has improved a decent amount since we started out Monday morning private practices, and our back up goalie Don.

The little scrimmage we have only lasts for about an hour and it was more me and Francesca fighting over calls than anything else but I had fun nonetheless. The twins also seemed to have a great time and thanked me a ton before I left to change and get ready for the game.

The game itself was uneventful. I scored two goals. Got sent to the box for fighting, totally not my fault the dude came at Bray and no one comes at my best friend like that. The only part of the game that stuck out to me was my constant checking the crowd for Francesca only to realize that I couldn't see her in the box. I missed watching her flip people off and scream until her little cheeks were red.

After the game I shower and throw my suit back on since my usual joggers I wear home are sweaty from skating around with the twins. I probably wouldn't care that they're sweaty if not for the fact I am driving Francesca and the twins back to the house for the party. The party I literally bullied and begged my house to throw so the three of them could all hang out tonight and have fun even though Francesca is underage.

When I leave the locker room I make an effort to do my usual "thank you for coming" thing to all the fans, take a few pictures, sign some stuff, and answer some questions. Everyone is pretty relied up since tonight was our last regular season home game. With only one loss so far under our belt we all know that in March we will play the conference semi finals here so we didn't do our usual senior sendoff.

I finally make my way through the crowd and find everyone waiting for me by the doors. Francesca has a proud smile and I notice her buns on top of her head that looked so perfect earlier are lopsided now, evidence that even with box seats, sitting with famous alum and such, she was still a total psycho.

"Great game man," Anthony says, giving me a fatherly pat on the back. It feels strange but it brings this warm feeling to me.

"You're fucking insane, dude I can't wait to see what you do in the future," Sal adds. In the future but not specifically at the Islanders, like either way he'd follow my career?

"Thanks guys." I throw my arm over Francesca's shoulder to ground me to reality. She leans her head into my chest as she wraps her small arm behind my back. She can barely get it around my waist but the effort is cute. She is basically swallowed up under my arm but her warm body feels nice next to mine.

I finally detach myself from her and open her door. She makes a small remark about how my mom raised a gentleman and I hide my look of disgust until my back is to her and she can't see it. My mom tried to raise a manipulative shit like her but my grandpa and hockey had other plans.

The ride to the house is full of everyone talking but me. I hate how mentions of my parents can sour my mood so quickly.

When we get to the house Francesca tucks herself back next to me and I gently place my arm behind her back because whoever was supposed to clean up snow and ice last did a shit fucking job. As soon as I open the door she is racing up the stairs to see the ladies, of course. I lead the twins up behind her at a less frantic pace.

By the time we also reach my room she has all three rats on my bed with her. The twins join her on the bed getting the formal introduction to them while I sneak into my bathroom to quickly change into something more party appropriate. I choose jeans and a casual button down since Francesca loves to bully the entire team for how we dress at our own parties.

"Ryder, come here!"

I open the bathroom door the second Francesca yells my name, my shirt not even buttoned yet. "What's wrong?"

"My brothers don't believe you don't dance."

"Oh." I adjust my hat, not really sure what to say.

"Woah, really?" Sal looks completely shocked by the confession.

"Not my thing," I shrug.

"Never?" Anthony looks just as shocked.

"I just, you know, we all have things, it isn't mine."

"We are changing that," the twins declare. I can already hear the music kicking on downstairs and the evil glint in their eyes tells me I am in for a long night.

I scoop up the rats and put them back home. "Out you evil demons. Lets go Becketts, you're banished from my bedroom."

The three siblings all file out, each with a more sinister look than the next. God, if you're out there, help a dude out please.

The first floor of the house isn't too crowded yet so we take a few shots and it isn't long before I notice the Becketts are working in a rotation and I am the only one taking every shot. The fuckers are trying to booze me up to get me on the dance floor.

Beat at their own game they try a new approach, a game of beer pong but no one told me that the twins have perfect aim. Francesca and I are getting steamrolled by them and since she is so much smaller I take more drinks than her. By the third game the shots and the beers are catching up on me.

"Now it's time." Anthony rubs his hands together while Sal throws an arm over my shoulder and Francesca leads the way to the living room where the DJ is set up. I try to dig my heels in to stop them from leading me towards the dance floor but I am just drunk enough that they can drag me along.

I manage to grab onto Stan who stumbles but joins us. "Save me," I beg and he just laughs at me. Some best friend he is, leaving me out here to die.

"God forbid you have fun at a party for once Ryder, loosen up." Stan walks away back to the girl he was talking to. Stan, despite his awkward shy personality, pulls some of the hottest girls at this school. I am impressed as I look at the girl he just rejoined and realize she is the cheerleading captain.

"Stan, come back," I scream but it's no use. Anthony tugs on me, dragging me deeper onto the dance floor as Francesca and Bray dance to the music. Why do I need to be out here when she has him to dance with?

"Dude it isn't that bad," Anthony assures me as he and Sal start to dance too. Everyone has a drink in one hand and is kinda just swaying to the music which seems easy but with all eyes on me I can't even focus enough to hear what song is playing. My heart is hammering in my ears and I am standing painfully still.

"Oh she's hot, someone wingman me. Not you Ryder, she will never pick me if you're there." Anthony pats his brother on the back signaling he will help and the two vanish. Bray sees Parker and also disappears. Now it is just me standing painfully still and Francesca who is moving so freely with the music.

"This is pathetic, Carson."

"No butt I can't dance let me just stand here and be your bodyguard, please."

She softens a little and grabs my hands pulling me closer to her. "Follow me lead. One dance and then you can hide away in the corner and I won't bother you."

I Wanna Be Your Slave begins and her face lights up like a Christmas tree. "It is a sign! This is the first song you ever picked for me to skate to, you have to dance with me to it!"

I am too nervous to reply as she pulls me even closer. It is kind of fitting that this song, the song I picked for her after meeting her just once, is the one playing but that does not change my mind about not wanting to dance. Francesca is moving to the song and I am trying to follow but I feel like an idiot. I thought the alcohol would at least help the nerves but instead i'm still nervous and the room is spinning a little.

Francesca's arms wrap around my neck and my hands fall to her waist naturally. She is wiggling to the song and I guess I am not absolute shit at dancing with her because she looks like she's sort of enjoying herself. Either that or she is giving me a pity smile until she can banish me back to my little corner to act as bodyguard.

As the song ends she throws her head back laughing and I keep my hands on her waist to hold her up. "That was so much fun! Mr. I can't dance, you fucking liar Ryder!"

I let out a nervous laugh in return as she rights herself banging her head into my chest a little. I am drunker but she is fueled by both alcohol and adrenaline and it shows. "Can I go? Please?"

"For tonight, you're free." I quickly run off the dance floor and find a comfortable place to watch her. It is clear as day she loves dancing and I want to dance with her again but I am way too nervous and she is way too confident and so I stay in my spot and she stays in hers for the rest of the night. Despite the house full of people we watch each other more than anything else, both silently hoping the other will abandon their spot and do what each other prefers, but it never happens. The party ends and her and her brothers call an Uber and I lay in bed face down wondering if Bray will teach me to dance so I can do that with her again.