I moved sluggishly throughout my apartment with a heavy heart. I was heartbroken and numb at this moment. I couldn't bring myself to stop thinking about Joey and what'd he done to me. After years of a friendship, years of having sex. He just threw it all away.

"Montana. You need to get out of this apartment." Teesh said to me as I walked into the kitchen.

She was here consoling me, though I'd rather be alone.

"No, Thank you." I rolled my eyes, tired of her presence.

"Mon, I know how you feel bu-"

"You don't know how I feel!" I snapped and she just looked at me.

"I gave damn near my life to him, Teesh. I was by his side since fifth grade." I went on, breaking down into tears again. Lord, was I tired of crying but I couldn't help it. I was hurt.

"I know, Mon." She nodded as I shook my head.

"He's my first. I haven't been with anyone else but him. Do you know how humiliating that is?"

"To not even feel as if you're a person but a piece of property." I wiped my face, sitting down beside her.

"Everything's going to be okay." Teesh tried to cheer me up, grabbing my hand.

"No, it won't because even still, after all of this, I wouldn't hurt him. I don't have it in my heart too. I don't want to be with someone else, I don't want to allow someone else in my space like that." I admitted, I literally felt like he owned me.

"You don't have to only be with him, Monty. You're 20. You have ways to go and I'm sure you'll find someone better."

I sighed heavily as she tried to help me but I just wasn't buying it. The way I felt, I wouldn't be with anyone else. I couldn't deal with a broken heart like this again. Love is too scary and risky to just be jumping in and out of it.

"I don't know about all that." I shook my head, standing to my feet.

"You will. Trust me." She encouraged but I ignored her. I wasn't trying to hear any of that.

"Alright." I dismissed her, grabbing food out of my cabinet.

"I kind of just want to be alone right now so.." I trailed off, looking back at her and she nodded.

"Alright, Mon." She nodded, standing to her feet.

"It'll get better, okay?" She encouraged and I nodded, completely disagreeing but I just wanted her to go.

Pulling me into a hug, I tried hard to keep my tears inside. I was tired of crying.

"Love you, friend."

"Love you too." I told her as I walked her to the door and she left.

As soon as I closed the door, I broke down. I cried and cried, standing there until I fell to my knees then put my back to the door.

Why'd he have to do this to me? I was loyal. I've always been.

I sat there for a while longer, crying my heart out before anger took over me and I just wanted to snap out on any and everybody that could've possibly known about this.

Standing to my feet, I pushed my hair up into a ponytail and went upstairs to grab my sneakers.

*

Walking down the street, I saw Messiah on the corner, talking to one of his friends.

"What's up, Monty?" He spoke politely but my anger took over me, making me walk up to him and smack him as hard as I could.

"What the fuck?" He furrowed his eyebrows, looking down at me.

"You're a liar, just like him!" I snapped and he simply looked at me in disbelief. His friends were looking at me with raised eyebrows and I knew that these guys were nobody to play with but I was upset right now.

I couldn't get to Joey so I would get the people around him.

Turning on my heels, I walked away and I could hear Messiah cursing and saying slick shit as I did. I didn't care though, I was upset and nobody could say anything to me right now to make me not be.

Walking towards Lateesha's block, I saw her, Kace and Milly all sitting on her steps.

"Teesh, do you know where that bitch Kim stays?" I asked and she raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah. Why what's going on?"

"I have something to ask her. I need to know the truth." I explained and she nodded, happily.

I now knew that both Messiah and Josiah were liars so I needed to hear from Kim's mouth what happened between her and Joey. If he was really texting her, I would beat her ass and when Joey came home, I would make sure he regretted it.

"Nah. I don't think that's a good idea." Kace spoke up, while Teesh and I were about to make our way.

"Babe. It's fine."

"Don't go up there fighting, Lateesha." He warmed and she nodded as we walked away.

"Bitch, you know I'm throwing down for you if this hoe talk out the side of her neck." She whispered to me and I nodded.

I already knew what time it was.

It took us no time to get to Kim's block and thankfully, her and all of her friends were sitting outside in her step.

Walking up to them, she turned her lip up once she saw us.

"What y'all stank bitches want?" She spoke smartly as her friends laughed.

"I need to talk to you." I said simply, trying hard to refrain from beating her ass until I got the information I needed.

"Talk to me about what? Joey?" She raised her eyebrows before laughing.

"Girl, if you want to know if I fucked my man, I did." She sassed, rolling her neck.

"When?" I asked, already knowing about their past in high school. I wanted to know if it was recent.

"It was a couple of weeks ago. Up at that center. He texted me and told me to come and see him. He snuck me in." She went on proudly as my heart shattered.

Joey was hurting me more than ever and I couldn't believe he'd play me for a fool this way. Not me. His own best friend. I stayed loyal. I gave him the most sacred thing I'd had. I did everything, everything I could to love him and to make him feel loved but this is how he wanted to repay me.

"You had sex with him?" I asked and she nodded confidently.

"Yeah. Look." She said, showing me text messages.

She scrolled through the thread and I read every last message. I knew that it was Joey because I knew the way that he texted and the way he spoke. It was definitely him. There was no denying that.

"So how did he get your number?" I asked just trying to get as much information as I could before I punched this hoe's lights out.

"Messiah asked me for it to give to Joey. Joey wanted it but he's up at the center so of course he couldn't get it."

Feeling my body go numb again, I said nothing. I was passed broken. Joey has definitely did a number on me and I couldn't believe it. Right in front of my face and I couldn't believe. First the cleaning lady at the center and now Kim. He was obviously on a mission to break my heart.

"So you had sex with him even though you knew him and Montana were together?" Teesh spoke up, scolding her.

"Girl, nobody knew they were together. They were supposedly best friends!" Kim yelled at her, rolling her neck.

"Bitch, everybody in the hood knew Joey and Montana we're together despite that best friend shit. Stop with the lies." They began to argue.

"Teesh, just wait." I tried to calm her down, I wanted more information before anything.

"Bitch, if they were together why is he sweating me!" Kim stood up.

"Can I see the number he was texting you from?" I asked trying to keep everything calm and she ended up showing me.

"Teesh, that's the same number that sent that video." I explained and Teesh raised her eyebrows.

"I hate him." I shook my head, giving the girl her phone back. I was done.

"Come on, Teesh." I told her, completely drained.

"No, Mon. This bitch got you fucked up. She knew you were with Joey so she deserves to get her ass beat too."

"She ain't worth it." I shrugged.

"Bitch who ain't worth it? Obviously I'm worth something if yo' nigga of how ever many years wanted me." She laughed and I scoffed.

"Plus he said you boring anyway. Bitch you never even sucked his dick!" She spat, making me turn around.

Biting my lip from embarrassment, I watched as Teesh pushed me to the side and her and Kim began to fight. It was like everything was moving in slow motion for me. I couldn't believe Joey would not only step out but talk shit about me to this girl too.

He was the only one that knew that so I knew she wasn't lying.

Watching Teesh and Kim fight, anger took over me as I grabbed one of her friends and began whaling on her.

"Get off me, bitch!" The girl yelled but I wasn't tryna hear it. I was fed up and upset. I needed to let this out.

Before I knew it, it was Teesh and I fighting Kim and the four girls she ran with. There were more of them but we were holding our own.

"Aye! Y'all stop all that fighting." An older woman yelled from her window before people started to come outside and break us up.

"Bitch, you fighting over a nigga that don't even want you! You boring ass bitch!" Kim yelled out as I broke free from the guy who was holding me and ran over to her. She was the one I really wanted anyway.

I slapped her as hard as I could, leaving my hand print on her face.

"Montana, Stop." I heard Ms. Carol's voice and I immediately got my act together.

She pulled me away from the girl as damn near the whole blocked watched and tried to break us apart.

"Come on, Lateesha." She then said as I saw Kace and Milly standing at the top of the block waiting for us.

*

"Montana, I know you're hurt baby and I'm appalled for you, mami."

"But fighting these girls won't change the fact that Josiah stepped out. You need to and I will as well, get on Josiah. This is his doing." Ms. Carol explained to me.

Teesh, Milly and Kace were all outside sitting in the stairs. She'd already got on Lateesha but now it was my turn.

"I'm just hurt." I admitted, everything that happened flowing through my mind.

"He not only did something with one person but two people. He was trying his best to hurt me, Ms. Carol. I can't believe him."

"I know, baby." She pulled me in for a hug as my body shook as I cried.

I felt helpless. There was no coming back from this and beyond the relationship, our friendship was over. He'd crossed too many lines.

"Mama." Messiah walked into the house and I rolled my eyes.

"Boy, don't even talk to me right now."

"But mama-"

"What the hell did I say, Messiah?" She spat and he sighed.

"Man, whatever." He flagged her before walking out.

Sitting there, I wiped my tears and she just looked down at me.

"Girl, wipe them tears. Don't cry over him. You deserve better and I'm telling you that as a mother." She pointed at me.

"I know I'm not your mother but you're like a daughter to me, Montana and you know that. Stop crying over him. He doesn't deserve your tears."

"It just hurts."

"Like not only did he get oral from one of the workers there, he had sex with a girl that I have to see everyday in the hood plus talked crazy about me to her."

"He told this girl our business." I broke down.

"It's going to be alright, mami. I promise." She pulled me in for another hug, kissing my forehead.

"It's going to be alright." She repeated.

*

"I'm so sorry, Mon." Teesh said as her and I sat on the steps in front of my apartment building.

"It's okay. It's not your fault. It's mine. I should've known Joey wasn't shit." I expressed.

I was all out of tears and I was simply numb. There was nothing else I could but embrace this pain that I felt. It was the worst pain of all. Losing the love of my life and my best friend. He wasn't dead but he was a snake, that was even worse feeling.

"I just can't believe that nigga would really send a video of him getting head. You know how disrespectful that is?" She asked and I nodded.

"Exactly. He has no respect for me or anyone else for that matter. He's all about Josiah."

"For real." She shook her head.

"And then lied to me as if he didn't no where the video came from." I scoffed, putting my head into my knees.

"He's going to get his." She encouraged and I nodded.

"He is and I just pray that God has mercy on him." I wouldn't do anything in return to hurt Joey because I couldn't. I could never hurt him the way he hurt me but I wasn't the person he'd have to answer to in the end.

"Karma's a bitch."

"Yup."

About an hour went by before Teesh decided she would leave. She was going to Kace's house and I offered to walk her since it was midnight but she insisted she walk alone so I ended up going in the house.

Once I got in the house, I took a shower, cried some more, then got ready for bed. Today was very eventful and honestly I couldn't get Joey off of my mind. I mean that was expected but I just didn't even want to think about him anymore.

Deciding I would just go to sleep, I put on some soft music and got into bed. I snuggled into my covers and a few minutes later, I was out.

*

❤️

excuse mistakes.