"You can't possibly be serious."

Namjoon was staring at Yoongi in disbelief as the older played drums with his fingers on the table—a nervous habit.

They were at Yoongi's studio, supposedly working on a new song but in reality Yoongi wanted to talk to him alone. He really valued the younger's judgements and thoughts and he often talked his decisions through with Namjoon before putting them in action because Namjoon was very wise and too logical for his age. Besides, they had been living together for god knows how many years now, Namjoon was probably the closest with him.

"I just can't take it anymore," Yoongi licked his chappy lips, feeling like he was on the verge of madness as his eyes still were fixed on the black screen of an ended video in which he had watched some world-famous guy literally thirst over Yoongi's girlfriend for a good ten minutes during a red carpet interview.

He smiled bitterly, "You know, sometimes I even wish Dispatch did their fucking job for once and caught us, too."

"Hyung," Namjoon started, straightening on his chair. "You have to—"

"I want it to be known," Yoongi cut him off, turning to Namjoon with a sharp motion. "I want people to know that she's dating me. That she and I are in a relationship, that she loves me, no one else. Not some other idol or some other foreign artist who has their eyes on her."

He was aware of the millions of 'ships' the fans had for Lisa—even with the other members of his band. He knew his friends didn't have those kinds of feelings for her but still, it made him upset and bitter.

Namjoon was watching him carefully and Yoongi heaved a sigh, raising one arm and ruffling his hair disgruntledly.

"It has become fucking unbearable, Joon-ah. Knowing they make moves on her, seeing the way they look at her, reading and hearing the things they say and write about her—it's just. I'm gonna lose my fucking mind. I hate it so much. I want to tell people that she is my girlfriend, Min Yoongi's. That she has chosen me among the millions, not anyone else. That she loves me, no one else."

There was a silence where Namjoon looked at him, obviously stunned with his eyes slightly bigger and lips slightly parted. It was understandable because Yoongi never talked about his feelings (at least romantic ones) this explicitly to someone, didn't let his possessiveness show up this openly, even to Namjoon. It was a bizarre occasion, Yoongi knew it, but he had no other choice. He cared about the younger's opinions and they were often parallel with what was going to happen if Yoongi did the thing. Now Namjoon was going to remind him the consequences of this act, which Yoongi knew very well.

He had to discuss the decision of going public with Lisa's side since her party would be the one that would receive the damage which was fucking ridiculous because it wasn't like they were doing something wrong, but if they didn't let the world know, he was going to go mad.

Naturally, he had thought over and over and then planned this very carefully.

So for now, he was only going to say that he had been in a relationship without giving any names. It was going to cause a chaos anyway, but no one could link him and Lisa since they had been very careful not to be noticed by fans.

Then, once he managed to persuade Lisa and her company, they were going to go full-on public and Yoongi was going to be free to make it clearly known that he was the one Lisa had chosen for herself among all those people she could have had.

First he had to inform his company, of course.

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When it came to what Yoongi wanted, Yoongi always got that thing no matter what. Sometimes a little differently from what he would have preferred originally, but he got it in one way or another. It didn't take a long time, either. He often thought about it as the way of the universe paying Yoongi back for the shit it made him go through when he was younger.

He thought he had a fairly good chance this time, too. He had a very good relationship with Bang PD and the older man had always taken him seriously like an adult even when Yoongi was a teen. Also Yoongi always had a good and logical reason for wanting things.

This time though—for the first time—it was truly and delicately very personal. Like, it couldn't be more fucking personal than this.

It was a Saturday afternoon when Yoongi finally decided it was time and knocked on Bang PD's door. The man welcomed him with a smile, probably thinking that Yoongi had come there to talk about their album in process.

Yoongi smiled inwardly at how much he was going to be surprised.

"Hello PD-nim," he bowed when he got close enough and PD smiled at him back.

"Hi, Yoongi. Come sit."

There was a short silence after Yoongi sat down wherein he was a little nervous and the older man was expectant.

"Is there something wrong?" Bang PD slightly frowned upon Yoongi's silence.

He licked his lips before rubbing his hands on his thighs—another nervous habit.

"Oh no," he smiled and leaned back at the couch. "I just wanted to talk about something. Something very important for me."

"Is it about the album?" the older man raised his eyebrows this time.

Yoongi clicked his tongue, "No, the album is fine. Joon and Seokie are recording. The others will next week."

"Then?"

"It's more important than music," Yoongi willed himself to relax, it would finally be over in a short while anyway.

"Something more important than music to you," Bang PD looked at him suspiciously and leaned back at his seat. "Now that makes me curious. What is it?"

Giving a short chuckle, Yoongi straightened at his seat, placing his elbows on his knees, and looked at the other man seriously.

"PD-nim. I want to go public with Lisa."

The silence this time was long and confused. Bang PD looked at him blankly as if he wasn't sure what he heard.

"What?" he asked slowly.

Yoongi took a deep breath before repeating.

"I want to go public with Lisa."

PD sighed after a moment or two, "Yoongi—"

Yoongi quickly cut him, "It's been more than three years now, PD-nim. We're at the age where it's natural to have a relationship and I'm so damn sick of hiding."

"You're aware as well as I am that it'll bring nothing more than problems," the older looked at him, serious as always.

"It's been more than three years," Yoongi repeated again. "Until when are we going to hide? Until we get married? Or until we get caught? Or if by chance she gets pregnant?" he added unabashedly. He knew it was improper to talk about sexual things with his CEO but he was past feeling shame by now.

Taken aback by Yoongi's blunt and straightforward words, Bang PD fidgeted uncomfortably at his seat.

"I'm assuming you two are both smart enough to not get caught up in the last situation."

"It's not unheard of," Yoongi was quick to point out. "I'm just sick of being on my tiptoes all the time. I want to be able to openly call her my girlfriend. I want to be able to talk about her, to show her off, to support her, to cheer her when she's happy and to console her when she's feeling down. And I don't think that's something so selfish of me. I've already talked to my members, they said they'll support me no matter what," he added to show the other man how serious he was about this, to the point of including the other boys.

Bang PD looked at him thoughtfully. Knowing he said his piece and ready to defense his decision all the way like he always did, Yoongi waited patiently.

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And as it was the rule, what Yoongi wanted, Yoongi got.

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It was December.

And that meant Yoongi and Lisa's fourth anniversary.

Four fucking years.

December also meant the year-end awards and it was what Yoongi was waiting for for months now.

He had hinted it to Lisa numerous times to see her reaction and it wasn't so bad—if you asked Yoongi, of course. She had only once gotten shocked and it was the first time but eventually she had warmed up to the idea— again, if you asked Yoongi of course.

Both his group and Blackpink were sitting at the artists' seating area as well as numerous other groups from rookies to veterans and Yoongi was so fucking excited.

He was a contender for the producer of the year award alongside Joon and Seokie, which the three in unison found it ridiculous to put them against each other. They had prepared only one speech since all of them would feel as if they won whoever the winner was.

Yoongi had just added a tiny bit more to his own speech, that was all.

And that tiny bit of extra words was what he was excited about.

The lights dimmed, the screen showed the contenders and a minute later Yoongi heard his name being announced at the same time the lights brightened and the cameras panned on him.

Getting up with the pats of his members on his back, he smiled nervously as he clapped and walked bowing to the people along his way to the stage.

He glanced at Blackpink who was standing up like everyone else and they had polite smiles on their faces as they clapped. Only Yoongi was seeing the proud light in Lisa's eyes.

He hoped that this secrecy wouldn't last much longer and she would smile wide and proud as openly as she wanted.

On the stage, he got the award and the flowers from the artists in charge and turned to the microphone to start his speech.

As usual, he thanked their fans, his members, his company, his CEO, the artists he worked with, the people that helped him through his way before coming to the end.

To that tiny bit of words.

Feeling the adrenaline pumping in his veins and his heart hammering against his chest from excitement, Yoongi licked his lips before leaning to the microphone again.

"And lastly," he began, his eyes wondering over the crowd before fixing on Lisa. "I want to say how grateful I am to my muse, the person who made me feel things that helped me write all my songs for all these years—my lovely girlfriend."

He watched Lisa freeze in shock and the crowd going wild with screams and the hosts expressing surprise, but what made him laugh was the way Lisa both paled and furiously blushed as her members looked at each other with hurried whispers but to their defense, everyone was reacting like that so it wasn't suspicious and they couldn't be blamed. Because the hundreds of people in the arena were scandalised—except his members who knew this was coming and they looked like they were having the time of their lives amidst all the chaos what with the huge grins on their faces and snickers coming from their table.

So Yoongi chuckled and looked at the camera after glancing at Lisa once more, "Yes, I want to say how grateful and lucky I am to have you in my life. I know that I'm a hard person and I lack a lot, but thank you for bearing with me all this time even if it must be draining for you. I'm sorry and I promise that I'll cherish you more and more every single day, so I hope you will be with me in my tomorrows to see I keep my promise. Thank you so much for being you, my love."

Then he looked around again, indicating that he was finished, "Thank you so much. I'll keep doing more than my best from now on, too. Thank you."

He went down the stage under heavy gazes and loud whispers, laughter and shameless curiosity—the people in this industry fed off gossip, after all.

He glanced at Blackpink’s table as he walked past them and saw Lisa glare at him with a high and mighty blush on her face, expression outright mortified to those eyes who knew how to look.

Yoongi certainly did.

He turned his head away to keep his smirk unrelated to the girls and sat down on his table.

"That was so cool," Hoseok patted his back with a grin that was even brighter and bigger than the normal ones. "Didn't know you could be this cool, hyung."

"What do you mean, I'm always cool," Yoongi deadpanned him, his face serious for a second before a grin broke out on it.

"No but it was amazing!" Seokjin butted in excitedly, leaning in a little. "Straight out from dramas!"

"That 'my love' at the end," Jimin eyed Yoongi, his face bright with the teasing grin he had. "So cheesy hyung, I didn't think you could be a man like this."

Yoongi rolled his eyes as Namjoon cut in before Taehyung could say something that would make Yoongi smack his head.

"Stop teasing him already," the leader lightly scolded despite the shit-eating grin of his own. "The man is already overwhelmed, look at him glancing at her every millisecond."

Proving his words right, Yoongi ripped his eyes off from Lisa to give an unimpressed look to Namjoon. The younger was right, Yoongi couldn't help looking at Lisa to decipher her reaction but her face was so fucking professionally blank that it was irritating, really.

Well, one of them had to be professional, true.

But Yoongi really didn't want to be that one tonight, he wanted to celebrate this night that he had been waiting for the past four years. He had finally told whole world that he was taken, and so fucking happily so, come to that.

And now that he started, the rest was easy.

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The rest, in fact, wasn't even a fucking bit easy.

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Lisa heaved a sigh, feeling spent and drained as she got out of a very hard meeting she had with her boss and she felt like slipping down onto the ground, right there. She had no energy.

All thanks to one Min-fucking-Yoongi who decided he couldn't take hiding anymore.

The horrible fucker had just gone and declared to the world that he had a girlfriend and he did it so by looking at Lisa right in the eye. The only missing thing was him shouting her name into the microphone.

Now that would be the real mic drop.

Okay, to be fair he had mentioned going public to Lisa more than once but Lisa had never thought he was being serious. Because after the first two times it had almost become a joke between them so Lisa was like 'yeah sure why not, let's announce it, I'm already witch-hunted on a daily basis for breathing what is one more controversy anyway' and he had laughed with her, so she had never, not even once, thought that he was serious.

And then he went on and thanked to 'his girlfriend' at an awards show, in front of millions of people (that is the ones streaming included because illegal streaming was a reality).

Right before their fourth anniversary.

Lisa had never been more mortified in her life than when she watched and heard him say those words. It was a complicated feeling, too, because she both wanted to slap and yell at him to stop, and cry and kiss him breathless right then and there. But he always did this to her even after four years, that Min Yoongi bastard.

He was lucky she was so helplessly in love with him.

But the more prominent things she had felt were panic and horror back then.

And now, the very next day, those feelings had turned into anxiety and fear. She was afraid of the public's reactions to this news, her agency's emergency meeting (which she had just gotten out of) and her CEO's approach and decision about it.

After all, she had no say over her own life.

When you became an idol, you would lose your identity and become a marketable good—this was the first rule.

The public had gone mad and their fandom was still in chaos, of course, but it didn't seem like neither Yoongi, nor his members didn't care about it that much—even their agency was relaxed and cool with it.

Big Hit had obviously prior knowledge about this shit Yoongi had pulled and they had immediately put out a statement that carefully confirmed and asked for blessings like, two minutes after Yoongi's speech.

They had also called YG after the ceremony right in the middle of the company's emergency alert. Event a CEO-to-CEO phone call had happened. Lisa was fairly certain that it was that call that calmed her boss a great deal. Because to Lisa's surprise and contrary to her fears, the man was notably calm and collected during the meeting and he had even tried to comfort Lisa when she became so overwhelmed with fear and anxiety that she had been about to burst into tears.

Now, feeling spent and mostly dead, she had to go to her house and sleep for a couple of hours before they had to get ready for another schedule.The house felt so far away that she seriously considered about just curling up in a corner and sleeping a few minutes more. It was when she was debating this thought for real that her phone rang.

"Yeah," she answered Chaeyoung's call.

"I'm downstairs," her gentle voice told Lisa. "Came to pick you up in case you were feeling bad. Come down."

Lisa sighed in relief, "You're my angel and my love. Coming in a minute."

She then hung up the phone and her eyes caught the notifications she had—six missed calls, fifty-eight messages and three voice mails. Half of them were from Yoongi which made Lisa sigh in irritation. She hadn't contacted him since The Speech™ and she just knew that he was panicking and freaking out. Serves right, she thought annoyedly.

In love or not, she was still mad at him.

Chaeyoung didn't insist on making a conversation as they drove to their house. She was dying for information, Lisa knew it, but she still didn't make any moves and kept driving in the awfully quiet car while stealing not-so-secret worried glances from Lisa. And Lisa also knew that Chaeyoung would rather die from curiosity than to upset her and she was grateful to have Chaeyoung beside her.

And if the girl was a cat, Chaeyoung was her cat, so Lisa leaned her head on the cold glass of the window.

"I'm fine, Chaeng," Lisa sighed. "Sajangnim wasn't as mad as we thought he would be."

Upon hearing her voice, Chaeyoung immediately pulled the car aside and lit the 4-way-flashers. Then turned to Lisa with big, still worried eyes.

"What did he say?" she bit her lip anxiously. Lisa had thought what she said would calm her down but apparently Chaeyoung was too anxious and worried to be satiated by that information. So she turned to Chaeyoung, too.

"He immediately if I had any knowledge about this, I said of course I didn't, and apparently this was his priority—because he really calmed down after I said that."

Chaeyoung clicked her tongue in disapproval, "He should've known that. When did you ever do something without his knowledge anyway?"

Lisa arched her brows despite the mood, "Uh, when I started dating him? And when I snuck him into the dorm? And when I snuck into their dorm?"