chunk stuffers

what a beautiful day

what a wonderful time to be alive

speaking of time what time is it tom

i think it's tea time

i think you're right

i hate everything that just happened so much

what's going on i'm confused

did you two have sex

yeah right like i'd ever let tom put the banana in my fruit salad

this is about a different couple glazing the donut

did you just imply you and tom were a couple

for once we have bigger things to worry about

did she say put the banana in my fruit salad

did she say glaze the donut

what in the name of the holy ghost

you know

baking a beef casserole

making your way downtown

the good old nut in the gut

mel NO

do they let you return your eyeballs i don't want mine anymore

it's cool i already called the authorities guys

report a highly disturbed individual

i am not highly disturbed

no but i am after seeing that

mel just say sex

i won't

seb tickled june's mango

hang on what

whoa whoa WHOA

????????!?????

this is why we're here

to expose our friends

because we care about them

but mostly because we want to embarrass them

out of love

i've got a mop and i'm ready to clean up the tea you're about to spill

exhibit a: this morning

exhibit b: last night

hang the fuck on

does this mean what i think it means???

HEAVENS TO BETSY

IT FINALLY HAPPENED

JEB IS BACK TOGETHER

holy shit!!!

i don't know why i said that i don't actually know what's going on

i just wanted you guys to think i was cool

it's the same reason i lied about going to legoland

you didn't go to legoland???

you bastard

SAVE YOUR INSECURITIES FOR DR. MURRAY CHRIS

CAN WE FOCUS HERE

yes let's

tom and i uncovered their secret through our powers of deduction

there's no place to hide

haha

haha

CONFESS YOU FILTHY COMPOST BINS

june?

it's okay

they deserve to know

so yeah we got back together

we're dating again

nobody freak out

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

it's cool i'm fine this is cool everything is chill

EVERYTHING IS CHILL I SAID

"fuck" in e minor

I'M SOBBING IN THE WALMART CUSTOMER SERVICE LINE

YEAH STEPHANIE I DO NEED TO RETURN SOMETHING

MY HEART BECAUSE IT DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE

i can't believe this is happening

neither could i

ha ha

a little early for april fools jokes don't you think

no we're really back together

i didn't want to spend any more time being in love with june and not doing anything about it

i already let her get away once

you guys are so in love

i can't handle this

i'm going to faint

bitch me too you aren't special

oof that hit me right in the honey nut feelios

I CANT BELIEVE THIS

MY BEAUTIFUL BEST FRIENDS

JUNE CAN I BE THE MAID OF HONOR

i think the fuck not

easy there buddy

we're not getting married we just started dating again

i mean

MOTHER OF ZEUS

i suddenly believe in a higher power

So happy for you kids!

me, pretending to be shocked

you didn't even know we were dating

you texted me at least 4.3 times a day to tell me how much you still loved seb

no one is shocked

you did?

i couldn't help it

i love you so much

return of the jebi bitches

should i take my bow now or later

YES

YOU FINALLY SAID THE NAME

what in the name of zork is return of the jebi

hypothetically it's a plan mel and i devised to get you back together

hypothetically we got you to text each other

hypothetically we tricked you into going on dates

hypothetically our hotel never had a dengue fever quarantine

hypothetically

ohhh that's what they called it

yeah we were calling it "operation cremation"

because that's what we were going to do to you when you confessed

wait you guys knew??

you're not subtle

who uses walkie talkies at olive garden

and the night vision goggles in the daytime?

dammnit tom

you're the one who sang the mission impossible theme song the whole time

oh is that what that noise was

at least i didn't come up with code names

biscuit boy and grammar girl were cool as fuck don't even lie

we sound like sesame street characters on bath salts

is this why you've been spending so much time together

yes that's exactly it

that's the reason we've been hanging out and texting

oh

[deleted]

yeah we've been planning for a while

i guess we kind of owe you guys one

your plan actually somehow worked

yeah we bonded over what scheming little shits you are

thank you i think

now if you don't mind we have somewhere to be

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A JEB BABY

no you goblin we're going to the symphony

we're seeing a six hour concert featuring solely baroque pieces i'm so excited

dear lord

you must really love her seb

yeah i do

call me a genie because i just granted all your wishes. just kidding i did it all for selfish purposes i love jeb too much to leave them broken up. also baroque music can choke sorry 1/10 worst classical period

* , Grace. Comment Credit. Wattpad, 2017.