the golden trio

guys do you hear that rustling in the kitchen

it's 5am what are they doing

oh my god the raccoons are back

it's not the raccoons ian

you don't understand what those slippery bastards took from me

what did they take

physically? 4 banana peels a hot pocket wrapper and half of my flip flop

emotionally? everything

guys chill it's just me

mel what the heck are you doing

making taffy

what the fuck

mel it's 5am

no it's taffy time

oh my god is this like the lemon bars

that was different

you made 64 lemon bars in an hour then cried for 2 days and napped through the third

if you're making desserts in excess you're teetering on the brink of a nervous breakdown

guys i'm fine!

you're making taffy at 5am

because i love candy!

you hate candy

you said it "causes cavities"

yeah ian it does

false accusations

i won't tolerate your slander of a delicious and beloved treat

well i eat tons of candy so

you take multivitamins

they're gummy multivitamins

something doesn't add up here

taffy is fun

mel is not

i'm fun

i watched a documentary about tax returns the other day

pretty wild

how much taffy did you make

like a lot

hell yeah

no ian

mel is clearly going through an emotional breakdown

we are not going to enable her and eat her candy

i'm fine

i only made 9 different flavors

oh my god

do we call someone

what flavors

ian focus

i am focused

on the massive amounts of free candy next door

mel why don't you back away from the taffy and tell us what's wrong

i'm totally fine

i think

maybe

do you hear that??

the raccoons ARE back

i can hear them yowling

still me

oh no she's moved into the crying phase

there's so much taffy

what have i done

i just wanted to take my mind off things

what things

i don't know

MIT decisions come out tomorrow and i think i'm in love with tom and getting in means i don't get to be with him but getting in is my dream

wait do you hear that

ian is choking violently

let me go deliver the heimlich

continue

WHAT THE FUCK

YOU

I

WHAT

FUCK

you both seem very calm

i can't say i'm surprised

my inner eye told me you were

also i hid under the bed and listened in on your call with june

you what

so back to emotional turmoil

why can't you be with tom?

if i get into MIT i have to move across the entire country

he'll be in los angeles

but what about long distance???

i don't think i could do that to him

he deserves someone who can be there for him

how do i yell bullshit at the top of my lungs but in a nice way

it's not bullshit

yes it is that boy has been hopelessly in love with you for years

and he should be with someone who can love him like that too

if i get into MIT my career is going to be the most important thing in my life

i won't have time for anything or anyone else

wait guys not to interrupt but i really hear something this time

THE RACCOONS

THEY'RE HERE

THEY CAME FOR THE TAFFY AND REVENGE

i can't believe there's only 3 chapters of this fic left. (ps: if i do another social media fic who do you guys want to see?)