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Matty didn't know how long she was lying still on her bed. Time felt frozen but fast.

As she gazed upwards, she noticed how the golden glow of the sun that was reflecting off of her ceiling and walls was no longer there. Instead it showed nothing. The color was dull, burning her eyes as she tried to focus on nothing, desperately trying to see an outline of the walls, the corners of it. To make her realize that she was ok. That she was still there, in the comfort of her bed, breathing in and out.

She was trying to make sense of reality. What even was real anymore? Was she even real?

The loud cry of her phone broke her out of her trance. Heart palpitating as if she just ran a mile. She snatched her phone from her nightstand, weakly sliding her thumb across the screen to answer the call.

"Hello?" She croaked out, wincing at the uncomfortable pain felt in her throat just from uttering the single word.

"Thank god you answered! Are you okay? Are you feeling well? Do i need to—" Matty couldn't understand what her friend was saying anymore, her mind was elsewhere but she knew she had to stop her friend from stressing himself over her.

"—I'm alright." She said in a clear voice. Not quite recognizing herself as she was able to say that without a slight waiver in her voice.

God, who was she?

She sighed, running a hand over her face to somehow snap her out of the feeling that was consuming her once again.

"I'm fine ok? Just... just don't worry about me." A plead in her tone.

"I know you don't want me worrying over you, mat. But how can I not? You've been out of touch for two whole days after that dono fucking—"

"Let's not talk about it.. Please, Charlie." She said, this time her voice came out weakly. Feeling light and drowning at the same time.

There was a silence and Matty thought he was finally letting it go.

"That's it. I'm booking a flight tonight."

There it was again. The heavy feeling on her chest, "Charlie. I swear i'm fucking fine! Why won't you believe me? You always do this shit." She snapped. Her whole body felt like it was on fire like she was slowly inhaling and coughing over the cloud of smoke she had started. No way out. No way out.

"God, Matty! When will you realize that me caring for you is because I want to and not because I fucking pity you? Fuck, we've been friends for so long, Mat. I hate knowing you're hurting and I can't do anything because I'm halfway across the world, studying for a stupid geometry test that I know I won't even be using for the job I'm gonna get!" Charlie ranted through the phone. "I can't stand being here while you're there bottling up your emotions. With no one to fucking talk to. I'm always here for you, Matty. When will you just let me care for you without feeling like I'm annoying you while doing so? I know I'm annoying, I'm getting pretty damned annoyed with myself too. But why won't you just let me annoy you, like let me fucking annoying you like a protective but stupid brother. You're like family to me, Matty. Get that through that head of yours. Chant it like a mantra."

Another pause.

A snort and then a laugh came to fill the painful silence that they thought the other had already disconnected from the call.

"Are you seriously laughing right now?" Charlie said, a bit pissed but he was also trying to stifle his laughter.

"Halfway across the world" wheeze. "Stupid geometry test." another wheeze.

"I SAID A LOT OF THINGS AND THAT'S WHAT YOU FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGED." Charlie whined childishly. "Fuck you, I'm not bringing you sushi once I land there." He said.

Matty let out another loud laugh before calming down. "I don't deserve you, Charlie." Matty sighed as she stood up from her bed, her muscles feeling tired from all the napping. How ironic.

"I don't deserve me either. Who let me have this brain? It's too good." He lightheartedly joked. "I love you matty." He mumbled as he was still not used to saying the words out loud.

"I love you too Charlie." Matty whispered. I may not say it out loud, but I'm glad you exist, she thought.

"I booked the flight by the way." Charlie reminded.

"You fucking did not, I swear to god—"

this is the first chapter of this book and im so excited !!! it's a little short but don't worry

i have so many plans for this one.

in this chapter i am showing what type of friendship charlie and matty has,

just so y'all can see what kind of duo they are.

pls be patient with me !

karl is gonna be making an appearance soon, v excited about that too.

i know i know we started pretty fast with the angst but i wanted to try something new

because i'm getting pretty tired with how i write normally.

but yeaaa, hope you stay. pls pls give feedback !!!

im happy you took your time to read this, truly means a lot.

hugs through the screen