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__________

Tell him.

Tell him.

Tell him.

Goddamnit. What the fuck happened?

Just moments ago she was fine with the idea of talking to him. She definitely had that sudden surge of much needed confidence after her call with Spifey. She was very ready to walk up to Karl, look directly into his eyes and say, "Hey. I was a dick. Forgive me?"

But now . . . now something in her just shut down. Why couldn't she have kept that momentum? Was it because she felt dejected? Rejected? Ignored?

Matty shook her head.

The sudden wilt of her attitude definitely wasn't because Karl had been ignoring her calls the past two hours nor was it because of the pouring rain . . . and it already being nighttime.

It totally wasn't because of that . . . She was too stubborn to accept that Karl was having an effect on her.

Well, maybe it was?

Who was she kidding. It totally was the reason.

Matty just can't help but feel like he was purposely ignoring her, alright? And she can't even blame him if that was the case. Maybe he got tired of her already. Got tired of constantly feeling like he was walking on a tight-rope that was getting thinner and thinner as he thinks he's reaching the end of it.

As he thinks he's finally getting to her. Matty felt like she was too.

If she was in his shoes, she would do the same.

He was smart though. He was able to retract from the rapid and threatening of . . . whatever the fuck was going on between them while Matty wasn't informed of the memo. She was stuck in their self-made quick sand and she was the only one that's still not out.

It wasn't like she was depriving herself of the what if's. Nor was she not thinking of Karl in a not-so-platonic way. In fact, she has been thinking non-stop about it.

The majority of it wasn't the good kind though. But can the universe really blame her for being too damned cautious and conscious once she had impulsively dived head first into the same warm territory that she willed herself to stay away from?

The whole thing— hell, this whole week just gave her a whiplash and she desperately wanted a break but she's growing tired of this whole setup. She's growing tired of the tip-toeing her and Karl had been doing these past few days.

It was draining in the sense that it's like she's waiting for the world— or rather her world to end.

It wasn't like if she was feeling empty, time and everything else, would stop with her or for her . It's not like that. It's only her that's affected, no one else. As it should be.

Matty's getting tired of waiting, waiting, and waiting like a damned creature expecting fresh water in an expanse of dry, hot sand with every dig and scratch of her burning hands. Like she's on the verge of dying yet still wanting to try and live. Like you reach and you fucking reach but it's still so far away that you begin to think is this worth it? Was it worth hurting for? Is it supposed to even hurt this much?

Matty peered outside her window, her phone gripped tightly in her hands. The light glow from it touched the half of her face and she almost yelled at her reflection that was looking back at her from the glass. She would've laughed but it felt like work.

It's not her fault alright?

She'd been sat at the same spot on the couch that she was sure her form was already etched in the soft cushions. And she was tired, so goddamn tired.

She stared at her phone, solemnly. The phrase 'Are you coming home?' remained unanswered. She debated on deleting the message, her thumb hovering over it for some time now.

Matty let out a breath and laughed at the tight feeling on her chest. So, he finally got tired of her. That was nice.

She stared right back outside, unaware of the slight quiver of her repeatedly bitten lips. It looked like the rain was dead-set on being a nuisance for the night.

__________

Thud!

Matty shot up from her bed, her head spinning from the sudden motion. She doesn't remember walking up to her room but she was glad she was able to. She wouldn't want to wake up with both a stiff neck and shoulders. It was not the best feeling at all.

It took her seconds before her eyes adjusted to the dark that consumed her whole room. Though there was a small stream of light coming from the lamppost that was flickering on and off from right across the street, and it gave her a view of her room, it was still quite dark.

She groaned as she held the side of her head, willing the headache that goes with rushing to sit up to go away.

She didn't ask for this when she signed the form for being one of the inhabitants of Earth. Unless she forgot and didn't fully read the Terms and Conditions—

Matty paused from thinking about it, grumbling.

It wasn't like whoever's up there made newly formed souls sign papers before throwing them towards a body. Idiot.

The rain and the sound of it hitting the metallic roofing and the glass panes was even louder and ruthless than earlier. It being muted by the closed windows didn't seem to be much of a help. It felt like it was harshly knocking her eardrums.

She tried to focus on something else that wasn't as unpleasant, like the thuds from her chest, but the sound emitted by her heart wasn't comforting her in the slightest.

It was still loud, over-bearing. If it wasn't for that fucking thud she would just fall back on her bed and sleep. But no, she has to walk out there and face whatever satan lovingly spawned in the middle of the night.

Matty huffed out a breath, "Alright. Alright. I'm not murder-worthy. It's not a murderer. If it's a robber, throw something at their face and sprint the fuck out." She muttered under her breath.

It was sort of . . . a chant that Charlie always say whenever they had a sleepover and they suddenly hear a loud or an alarming noise after watching a semi-decent horror movie.

The three of them, and yes including Orson, were a bunch of babies when it comes to the dark or eery silence. It's no problem to them in general but whenever they watch a bunch of gore-y film, best believe that they'd all be clinging onto each other at the end of the night.

The night-light would be on and Taylor Swift would be playing loudly on the speakers. They weren't die-hard fans but yelling Enchanted at the top of their lungs makes everything a little bit better. Up to this day, they still haven't got a clue if those knocks were from axe-murderers or neighbors complaining about the noise but, Matty figured it's the latter due to the rude stares they used to receive whenever they were hanging out at the balcony and some old lady hears their loud laughter and makes the effort of shooting them the meanest look.

Matty took her phone from the nightstand to check the time, seeing it was six minutes to 12 AM, pulling the charger off its socket before she put her feet down the wooden floor. She sighed, seeing that her phone was at 50% despite being plugged in hours ago. She guesses it's time for a new charger as hers has been close to dying. It giving up at this exact moment.

Her phone had only been charging in certain angles these past few days. It's one of the most irritating experience next to socializing with relatives at a get together. She always had to fold and tape or tie the fucking wires for it to be useable. The chargers were disposable at this fucking point. They were too bendable and thin for a person to feel comfortable to tug and pull while they use their phones. It was so fragile that she wondered how on Earth their chargers passed the company's standards. But in the end, it's all about business. Make the most fragile charger to raise sales.

Matty doesn't know how she was even able to think about how much she loathes the brand's chargers when she's possibly being robbed in the middle of the night.

She creeped towards her door, not truly ready to face whatever's on the other side of it. Her eyes widening as the creak of wood grew louder. She subconsciously gripped the cold silver knob of the door tighter as she pressed her ears against the flat surface. She was ready to chuck her phone between whoever's eyes it was.

She lived alone, forgive her for the creative ideas.

She lived alone . . . but not these past few days.

She's been with someone. Matty's sleep-addled brain found it difficult to rack her memories of who's been staying with her. Until it hit her and realization replaced the fatigue.

Ah. Karl. It surely must be him.

Matty rolled her eyes and agreed with her subconscious, too tired to think about it anymore, and pushed away from the door. "Yeah, that's probably him." She muttered, a small yawn escaping her mouth.

She immediately thought it was someone who could actually cause harm, purely because she'd been used to being alone for years that the possibility of having another living being under her roof felt unbelievable.

She began to walk towards her warm bed before she froze mid-climb towards rest.

Wait. Karl was back.

Matty sleepily rushed towards the door, and whatever strength that was left within her muddled brain, slammed it open, looking like she was about to file a complaint at a fast-food restaurant for not getting a spoon for her ice cream.

She let out a wince once it harshly hit the wall. She should've expected that it would hit something since the force she used was actually too strong for something simple as opening a damned door.

If a small portion of the wall's paint got chipped, she would pretend it doesn't exist.

It was dim in the hallway but Matty could make out Karl's familiar sweater and the faint smell of his cologne. She flinched when he flinched and watched as his hand flew up to his chest in shock.

"Jesus!"

"You're back!"

They said at the same time.

Her eyes travelled from his hair that stuck to his forehead down towards his clothes that were drooping and dripping with water. Karl was practically soaked to the bone.

"Shit. The rain got you?" She asked, feeling a surge of worry shoot straight to her chest. Fuck whatever mantra she chanted earlier about ignoring him.

Karl was about to speak before she put a hand up, "Wait, wait. I'm getting you some clean towels. Wait here." She said before she went back to her room, shutting her door.

She went inside the bathroom and flipped the light switch on, softly gasping when no light came through, "Shit, shit, shit." She muttered. So that explains why her phone was only halfway charged.

Great. No fucking power.

What in the living hell was this day?

She fumbled for the flashlight built in her phone and immediately turned it on. She opened the bottom drawer of her cabinet and took a couple of towels before heading back to Karl who was quietly waiting for her. He was shivering.

"Here."

Karl nods and gave her a small smile. He was stuttering while he went to dry himself off, probably because of the cold. "You didn't have to . . . I— I have towels in my room." He mumbled.

Matty stilled for the millionth time that night and felt the unwanted heat travel and spread all over her face, "Oh . . . right. I forgot." She forced a chuckle out of embarrassment and placed her cold palm on her burning face as she looked away from him.

She was rushing to fetch him some towels and completely forgot that he would obviously have some of his own.

Karl practically saw the gears turning in her head and raised a hand, "Thank you though! I'll make sure to wash these and give it back tomorrow."

Matty nodded and motioned for him to get inside his room, "You should take a warm shower before you catch a—"

"Achoo!"

"—cold . . ."

Karl sniffled, the cloth covering half of his face, "Oops. Sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry for what? The weather?" Matty said, amused. "We have no power by the way. You should use your phone for the light."

She watched as Karl grimaced, "Ah. That's why. I thought I just didn't hit the switch because I was rushing to take a warm bath so I bumped into some . . . furniture along the way."

"I figured."

Karl's face went red as he coughs and looks away.

"Why didn't you just use your phone?"

"My phone died."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

That's why she hasn't gotten a reply.

Her face flushed before she handed him her phone, "You can use mine. I don't mind." She offered, nudging it towards his hand that was still raised mid-air from when he was trying to get her attention.

Karl lightly shook his head, small droplets of water escaping his dripping hair, "I can shower in the dark."

Matty raised a brow as if she's asking, 'Really?' in the most judging way. "Is that why you bumped into the—"

"Fine," Karl sighed and took the phone, almost begrudgingly but she can see a little hint of relief in his eyes, "I swear I can shower in the dark but since you insisted. . ."

Matty shoo'ed him away with an almost forced smile, "Ok, liar. Go. It has no password." She informed, and she was about to retreat back into her room and maybe scream or die a little inside but stopped when Karl let out an offended sound. She raised a brow in concern, "What?"

"What the— Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"Why don't you have a password?"

"I rarely go outside. Why do I even have to bother setting up a password? Shit's a hassle!"

"You need a password. Everyone needs a password!" He continued.

Matty rolled her eyes, not in annoyance but in resignation, "Alright! I'll go do that after you finish taking a shower. Now go! You're fucking shivering!" She said.

She truly did not want to take care of a sick person. She doesn't even know most of the basics of caring for a sick person! Hell, she doesn't even trust herself to care for herself when she gets a cold!

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine—"

"Karl!"

"Alright, alright." Karl dragged, putting both of his hands up, "I'm leaving." He tsk'ed and went to open his bedroom door. "Damn. Way to make a man feel special."

"Karl! You can't— You can't just say that." Matty said before pushing Karl lightly by the shoulder and into his half-opened bedroom door. Karl let out a yelp and stared at her with faux offended eyes.

They stared at each other for a moment.

She noticed how Karl's eyes seemed to melt from being playful to something more serious. The sweet grin was replaced with a solemn look, and it made Matty's stomach churn.

Karl opened his mouth, once, twice, and Matty waited with baited breath.

"Matty?"

"Yes?"

"I'm . . . I'm sorry." .

And Matty knows it wasn't because he was flooding the wooden tiles with water from his clothes nor catching a slight cold because of the weather.

"I'm sorry too . . ." She quietly rasped out. She wretched her fingers together, squeezing tight but everything felt numb. She wanted to cry but she didn't.

"Hey . . ." Karl whispered, his warm hand softly grazing hers that were tightly locked. Matty let him hold her shaking hand, she wanted to feel him close. She missed it though he was steps away. "Look at me. Please?" He softly requested that it felt criminal to even try and deny.

Matty met his patient gaze, feeling cold tears threatening to fall from the base of her waterline.

He gave her a warm smile, so soft that Matty wanted to feel it against hers. So soft that Matty felt like she was about to burst.

She felt him squeeze her hand and watched with attentive eyes, trying to understand what he wanted to say.

Ah. He wanted to talk.

The words were left unspoken but they both know it's a promise.

They'll talk, but this time, maybe . . . just maybe it will all go well.

hey everyone! sorry for the late update. schoolwork's been dropping non-stop, i can never catch a break.

don't hesitate to give me feedback! in times like these i really need one because i don't know if anyone is still enjoying it like before or if it even makes sense lmao.

take care of urselves! much love