I toss a raspberry up, watching it's deliciously plump body spiral in the air, landing in Rook's mouth. He throws his hands up in victory, a smile beaming on his face. My heart aches. I've missed him. I've missed the rest of my family even more.

He laughs, tossing one at me, and I catch it in my mouth in return. I savor the sweet taste.

"I forgot how good raspberries were," I say, falling back on my makeshifts bed in the middle of the woods. Rook starts tossing them up himself. I laugh when he misses, which isn't often.

"Has anything started to make sense yet?" He asks.

"What do you mean?" I respond, using my arm to shield my eyes from the sunrays the canopy doesn't defend.

"Have you figured out how you got here?" Rooks asks, sitting down and looking me in the eye. I like it much better when we were just joking, throwing raspberries at each other.

"Well, it's not a matter of how I got here. It's a matter of why," I insist, tucking my knees under my chin. "The EcoPan let me go for a reason."

"Well, don't you know the reason?" He asks. "I mean you should know. You were the EcoPan."

"I still am!" I snap, trying to hide the defensiveness in my tone. I don't do a good job of it. We sit there in silence for a few seconds. "It's just that...I gave up so much. I could never hold my family again. I could never speak to the second children again- I gave up almost everything. I don't want to leave that in the past as if it never happened. My duty is still as the EcoPan."

"So...you're the EcoPan?" Rook asks.

"I'll always be," I say softly.

"Are you going back?" He asks, looking thoroughly afraid of the answer.

"Why do you care?" I ask, desperately trying not to snap. Yarrow has had a strong hold on me the past few months though, and the habits hard to shake.

"Because I have a brother I care about who will be crushed. Again. Not to mention the times before then. So if you don't plan on staying, I don't see why you'd come back in the first place," he admits reasonably. I bite my lip.

"How..." I take a deep breath, gathering my courage. "How has he been? The last time I saw him he..."

"He was a train wreck," Rook says with a sad chuckle. "I wish I could say much has changed."

"And the rest of my family?" I ask, trying to suppress the guilt.

"Why don't you ask them yourself? We can be there in a few hours if we leave camp now."

~~~

You know why I sent you here. You know what has happened, what I need you to do. You can't stay long. You have a job to do.

I ignore Aaron's words, following Rook through the wooden hallways of the main gathering room. This is like the Elders Hall where meetings are held or where citizens will gather if there's a dangerous storm that destroys any homes. Rook excitedly takes me to see them, a smile beaming on his face.

"I can't wait until they see you!" He keeps saying. "They have no idea, they're going to be so surprised. They're going to be so happy!" He finally pauses in front of a door, placing his hand on the handle and I know that's where everyone is waiting for me. He looks at me, raising his eyebrows. "Good luck."

As the door swings open I see their faces...all of them. Everyone I cared about when I lived in Eden is here in Harmonia staring blankly at me. Mom, Ash, Lark, Flame, Carnelian, Angel, Iris, and Rainbow, they all stare back at me. I don't know whats happened before Ash has me in a tight embrace...oh he's so different already. Not in a bad way just...different.

His arms have gotten stronger and his frame wider, he almost isn't scrawny anymore. Last time I saw him he was starting to get muscular but his frame was still thin. He looks like a man now. I look at his face and even that's changed. I look at all their faces, plump and lively from eating well.

"Why are you back?" He whispers, letting me go. Before I can answer I'm in my mother's arms, finding comfort from my distress. I dig my face into her dark hair streaked with gray.

"Oh, Rowan," she whispers in my ear, squeezing me gently as everyone else in the room waits patiently to see me. They probably can't wait to ask me an endless amount of questions. "My baby girl is home."

I almost freeze. Home. My earth, I've missed that word. I've missed that concept. I've been a machine for months at the least... I almost doubt myself. I almost doubt my decision as the EcoPan. Now that I'm human I see the horror of it- the horror that Lachlan saw before I gave myself up. By agreeing to be the EcoPan I agreed to watch- to feel- everyone I love die. It will happen eventually.

I shake that thought. I made the right decision. Choosing to be human would be choosing to doom all of humanity. Besides, I can't change my mind now even if I wanted to.

"Mom," I breathe, and I smell her familiar scent. Tears fill my eyes and I pull Ash into our embrace. This is irreplaceable.

"What happened?" My mom asks simply. I think she knows this is all much more complicated than they think. Asking one question at a time will lead to nothing. So she gives me the opportunity to explain. I shake my head slightly and Ash doesn't notice. "Never mind that," she says, catching on. "How are you feeling? Are you hungry?"

"Starved," I chuckle.

"Well, come on!" Mom says enthusiastically. I appreciate my mom trying to distract them from the suspiciousness of this situation, but I don't want everyone to see me. Word hasn't broken out about my arrival yet- especially because someone's missing. I noticed from the moment I walked into the room that Lachlan wasn't here.

I wonder if he knows and just chooses not to see me.

"Not right now, I don't want anyone to know I'm back yet. How are you? What's happened while I was gone?" I ask, sitting on a small wooden bench with cushions on top. I'm guessing they're the closest thing to couches they have. I look around at all the happy and shocked faces in the room.

"Well, should we start with the big news?" Ash asks Angel. Angel smiles, nodding, taking his hand. "Well..." He takes a deep breath. "Angel and I are getting married." For a moment I just stare at them, expecting them to laugh or say it was a joke.

"You're serious?" I ask. They stand awkwardly, waiting for another reply. "I'm happy for you."

They smile, looking relieved. Ash confesses, "I thought you would disapprove."

"Disapprove? Oh Ash, how could I? I'm thrilled!" I exclaim, hugging them both. Ash kisses my head, then Angel. "I can still hardly imagine you having a girlfriend."

"Well, at least I'm not giving you the shock of, ya know, being the EcoPan," he remarks, pointing out my hypocrisy. I looks down. They do hate me, don't they? How could they forgive me? How can I forgive me? Without a doubt Lachlan knows I'm here. He's chosen to not see me out of hurt. How can I blame him? "It's okay Rowan, I was just kidding. All that matters now is that you're home."

I let out a sigh of relief, grabbing his hand. "Well, I don't know when the last time you ate was but for me, it was months ago."

"I say we all go eat," my mother says, placing her arm around me.

"Agreed," I say, smiling at the joyous faces around me. We all start exiting the room but I see Flame hanging behind, along with Rook. No one notices the three of us lingering. "What's wrong?"

"Tell me the truth about how you got back here," Flame dives in, crossing her arms.

"Hello to you, too," I mumble.

"Bikking save it, Rowan. I can help you understand what happened," Flame insists.

"Well, thank you for the concern but as your EcoPan...I've seen inside your brain. There's nothing you know that I don't. Sorry," I apologize, surprisingly genuine.

"So you do know why you're back? You've lied to all your family and friends?"

"I will tell them soon enough. Besides, I can't stay long as it is," I explain, glancing at Rook's puzzled face.

"Where could you possibly be planning on going? There is nothing out there. Unless you know something we don't," she says, raising an eyebrow. I snort.

"Of course I know something you don't. I'm kind of the EcoPan," I explain.

"You can't go a bikking minute without bringing it up, can you?" she asks, looking thoroughly finished.

"I'm sorry, that's the Aaron in me. I'll get better at suppressing him with practice. I promise," I apologize sincerely. Flame presses her lips in a tight line.

"Please, save it. I couldn't be any less bothered by a teenager's attitude. I wish you all the luck possible, Rowan. Until next time." Flame exits without another word, tossing her fire hair behind her.

"She's one to talk about attitude," Rook chuckles, tucking his hands in his pocket.

"You have to love her for it," I admit, turning to face him. "Please tell me you didn't stay to interrogate me."

"Of course not. I just thought you might want to see Lachlan," he says with a shrug.

"Yes! Yes, of course. May I please?" I ask. "Does he know I'm back?"

"No, I thought it best you surprise him in private...he's not in a place where I feel like this should happen around other people."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Lachlan...is not in a good place. When he finds out you're alive again...I have no idea how he'll react. It needs to be between you and him," he explains. I nod.

"Lead the way."

~~~

Rook stands outside a thick door, giving me an anxious look. "Good luck," he says with a sigh. "I'll be right here if you need me." He slowly opens the door and I walk in. The room smells of whiskey and...Lachlan. It smells like Lachlan.

I step inside and to my dismay, Lachlan is not inside like expected. I take a quick glance around his room before returning to the hall. As I turn to leave I see Lachlan's desk, and a man sitting in it, his head down. I recognize him by his hair, and I slowly creep up from behind him. I look over his shoulder and see sheets of plans and blueprints. Key details to keeping this town running. I reach over, smelling the liquid in his glass, and cough. That's where the smell of whiskey is coming from. I kneel down, gently shaking him awake.

"Lachlan?" I whisper, running my hand across his back for comfort. He jumps up with a yell. I yelp too. When Lachlan sees me he looks like he might fall to his knees. His face is pale and thin. "Lachlan?" He looks so different.

He reaches out to touch my face, wincing when his fingertips make contact. He steps back as if I burned him. He looks horrified.

"Wait...are you real?" he asks, looking between his hand and me.

"Yes. I'm home," I breathe, taking a step towards him. He takes my face within his hands.

"Oh."