Outside the walls of Secundus, I look around at my friends uneasily. The sun has fallen and after our rest (or rather an attempt at rest) it's time to sneak into the city. It's a sickeningly familiar feeling we all feel as we look around at one another. It's like an unspoken understanding. We're charging back into a city just like Eden, putting ourselves in a situation that seems to be habitual to us by now- for Lachlan and me especially. We could run. We could save ourselves and you could hardly blame us...but that has never been what we do.

Back in Harmonia, back when I believed we could save our people (despite mom and Lachlan's attempts to thwart me) I jumped into the nanosand because I believed it to be the right thing. In some ways, that risk paid off. And in others, it did not. And now, I'm doing the same thing for Secundus. I'm jumping in (and dragging a few friends with me) all to what I believe is right. And despite this, I know it will not all be for the better. The effects of my flawed decision weigh on me now as I make eye contact with Lachlan. He understands my position right now better than anyone, and yet my decision to save Secundus inherently caused me to come back, and now this has hurt Lachlan. So in that way, my decision to rescue Secundus has already had a shortcoming.

There's a silent realization between Lachlan and me, knowing I've put him in the same position that I have time and time again. I've put our relationship at risk for what I believe is right so many times. And just like Eden, I'm doing it again.

"One last time," I whisper to him as Ash crouches down to crawl through the wall of garbage. He nods, giving me a somber look. His face becomes limp, and his eyebrows lower. I want to say more, but what can I say? What words would actually have meaning to him? To say I'm sorry? If I were sorry for all that I've put him though I wouldn't be doing it again as I am now. To say I love him? I would like to...but how is that fair?

Flame starts to crawl and we're the only ones left. Lachlan sees that I'm not going so he starts to crouch down. I grab his shoulder and he stands again.

"Yes?" he asks sincerely. His eyebrows raise as he unclenches his jaw- which I now realized has been clenched ever since that night at the campfire- and he looks heartfelt. Being alone for more than a second has finally given us the opportunity to be vulnerable. I open my mouth but when I look at him I'm at a loss for words. I can only think of one thing I can't live without him knowing.

"I do love you," I whisper, taking a step towards him until our bodies are together. "Even when everything I do seems otherwise."

Before he can respond, I've crawled into the wall and headfirst into Secundus

~~~~

"So if this city is just like Eden as you say the outer circles will be our best bet," Ash predicts, readjusting his backpack.

"Definitely. Unlike Eden, however, the outer circles were deserted after the rebellion. We should be able to find a place to camp out easily."

After a few minutes of walking, we find an abandoned motel that's cozy enough for us to stay in comfort but not so cozy that anyone would still be there. It's a bland gray building with a simple interior and one of the nicer structures since the outer circles were renovated.

"It's like being in Eden again," Angel comments as we make our way through the hall to choose our rooms. Ash puts his arm around her and they head to the room to their left, making themselves cozy. "We'll be in here until you have a plan."

Ash closes the door behind them and the others quickly choose a room too. There's plenty for all of us to have our own and I end up with the one second closest to the entrance of the hall Lachlan, of course, chose the one closest to protect us.

"So do you have a plan?" Flame asks me once we're the only ones left in the hallway. I'm realizing that she's the only one I've been entirely honest with. Ironically, it's because she's the person here who cares about me the least. I can be most honest with her because she doesn't have an emotional attachment to me like the others.

"I think so but I'll need you and Carnelian's help," I admit, leaning against the door frame of my room. "I want to broadcast a video of me explaining the situation. It'll be hard to believe but it'll be enough. Besides, I'm technically not supposed to interact with humans as the EcoPan. I'm giving them the information they need to save themselves but we can't stick around to hold their hands. We'll be in then out in no time."

"And if it doesn't work?" she asks, matching my posture.

"I thought you didn't fail," I remind her.

"Oh, I don't but you do. I can get the video broadcasted on every screen in Secundus but you need to present the information to them assertively, effectively, and persuasively. If you can't convince them it won't work. You'll need evidence."

"I don't have any other than myself. We could go back and get a video of the forest but that could easily be edited," I explain then press my lips together from frustration.

"You'd better hope the video is enough to raise suspicion. If it's not you'd have to come back and deal with a whole new bik ton of emotions- people won't be happy with you coming and going," she advises, taking a step back and placing a hand on the door handle, appearing as if she's done talking to me.

"Trust me, I'm not either," I sigh, shaking my head with worry.

"Hmm. I suppose you better hope your plan works then Miss EcoPan."