I wake up reluctantly, falling in and out of sleep, hearing murmured whispers, unable to keep my mind awake long enough to comprehend what they're saying. At first, I could feel arms around me and movement, I was being carried somewhere. But soon, I was laying down comfortably. I can't keep a good track of time but it feels like I've been laying down for at least a week. I'm afraid, unsure of our safety, and worried about the EcoPan. But when I hear the faint whispering of my friends, and occasionally feel them squeezing my hand, I know I am safe. Every moment I feel a little safer until finally, I find the strength to open my eyes.

It's dim, taking my eyes a minute to adjust to the dark motel room. We're in a different motel, most likely abandoned in the outer circles like the last one.

"She's awake," Ash says, taking my hand in his seat beside me. I still feel weak but I squeeze his hand, looking around at their faces. Everyone's here, waiting anxiously to see if I'm healthy. "Rowan, you're safe. Are you okay?"

"I-" my voice comes out as a shaky whisper. "I'm going to be okay. I'm just tired. What's going on?"

"You saved us," Lark says, tears filling her eyes as she takes my other hand. "And- and we thought...we thought we might lose you." She presses her lips to mine and I give her a small smile, feeling awkward and impatient.

"Just tell me what's going on," I whisper then look at Flame.

Flame says, "After the EcoPan saved us we were able to sneak out and hide until night. Then we were able to get back to the outer circles with added difficulty but nonetheless. Lachlan carried you here and I've been trying to nurse you back to health. You've been asleep for two days. The video is up. The mission is over. We leave when you're healthy."

"Thank you," I say. "As it turns out Aaron helped me in the end. Maybe only cause he needed to."

"What do you mean?" Ash asks, scooching forward in his seat.

"When I was being...well...electrocuted, I think it broke the EcoPan. I am the EcoPan and what is the EcoPan but a machine? I think it fried the system."

"That would explain..." Lark trails off. She looks worried and doubtful.

"You can tell her," Ash says. "She won't care as much as you think."

Lark hands me a mirror and I take it in confusion. The first thing I see is my eyes. My eyes. My lense has turned black. It looks like I have a huge pupil covering where the iris should be. I sigh. If my connection to the EcoPan was fried, so was my lense. It makes sense.

"What's one more crazy eye transformation?" I joke softly. First I had second child eyes, then I got lenses from Flame. After my surgery, I had one lense with one second child eye and now I have one second child eye and one black lense. I guess my eyes have been through hell and back.

I stare at my second child eye. I remember how Lachlan painted them. The colors are so vibrant and beautiful. Its the one piece that connects me to who I am. But of course, that's not true. Everyone in this room reminds me of who I am, Ash most of all. He will always connect me to home. And he was right when he said I wouldn't care too much about the lenses. I set the mirror down with a shrug. I try to put on a strong face for my friends.

"I've been through far too much to start caring about vanity now," I say and force a laugh. They all grin slightly.

"You look great as always," Ash compliments then gives me a hug. "Now we'll let you rest."

Flame leaves without saying goodbye and Ash kisses me on the cheek. Once everyone's gone Lachlan hangs behind, taking a seat beside me. He puts his head down on the bed, taking my hand. I run my fingers through his hair.

"I'm sorry," he says gently, looking up at me. I shake my head slightly, showing him I'm not sure what he means. "I should have protected you."He doesn't seem mad or even sad. He, like myself, has been through too much to be so dramatic anymore. He sounds like he's stating a fact, something so simple.

We go a minute in silence until I say, "I love you."

He smiles softly but I see the pain behind his eyes. "Don't say that."

"Why not?"

"Because you're going to be gone in a few days, Rowan," he says.

"Not if the EcoPan is broken," I explain, trying to read his face but he gives no sign.

"And then what happens to humanity?" Lachlan argues gently. "You have to be the EcoPan, Rowan. I know that. You have to be the EcoPan for all the same reasons I love you. You are selfless and the only one who can save humanity."

"I'm no different than any of you," I insist, touching his face. I turn on my side so I can see him properly.

"That might be true," he admits. "But who can be sure? The EcoPan? The EcoPan chose you out of a million."

"So did you," I say. Lachlan's silent for a long time.

"Well, you still haven't chosen me," he says then forces a smile. "It's okay, Rowan. I'm in no rush. But we'll find a way. Somehow, we'll fix the EcoPan and you'll become all that you deserve to be."

"I thought you didn't like me as the EcoPan. I thought..."

"I was selfish," he admits. "Saving humanity was your destiny. I knew it when I painted that mural of you, and I knew it when you became the EcoPan. I just didn't know how to accept that maybe that meant we had to be apart."

"Never," I tell him. "I could feel you- all of you- with me."

He smiles as he stands, then kisses my head. "I love you...get some rest."

And without another word, I'm alone, drifting back to sleep in the dark motel.

~~~