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There is a very fine line between love and hate, and if the past few weeks have taught me anything, it's that there might be a line, but it's so damn fine it's nearly invisible. But I've been hovering over it like a bee for a while now. Just like a bee, I have to navigate my way around the line and figure out which one holds the nectar.

Do I love Owen because of who he is, or do I hate him because of what he's done?

Do I hate Joshua because of how he came in and changed everything I knew, or do I love him?

I have an answer for each thing, but until a couple of days ago, I didn't know the truth. The moment I was sitting there with both Joshua and Owen around the same table, I didn't know which man was on which part of the line. It was confirmed that moment, and then yesterday solidified it.

Owen is on the hate side of the line; Joshua is on the love part of the line. But they can both absolutely travel on the other side for just a little while.

But Josh? The one who has his qualifications is meant to be my tutor? He will always be on the hate side of the line. As he finishes the toast and tea he asked me to make him, I roll my eyes.

How can two people who are the same be so different? I suppose that's the point: they are from different worlds. It's the whole point of the nature and nurture argument. Josh and Joshua might have the same name, same face, same body, but they were brought up differently, in different universes, so everything else will be different. Only when a person is brought up in the same environment will they have the same chances and it'll be a proper experiment.

"So, Josh—"

"I was gonna say, call me Josh, 'cause this shit is confusing enough." He puts his plate and mug to the side and arches his hands together on the table.

"Josh, then, clearly the Declaration didn't work. So, what is the next step?" I ask.

He sighs. "I have a few ideas. The main two ideas are Declaring into a mirror at eleven this evening. The other one is sacrificing something important to both of us in our home-worlds. Don't know what he'd pick, but for me, it's my job and PhD—"

"What about Joshua?"

He chuckles. "What about him? If it works, surely the sacrifice will be worth it. He's not even qualified to do either, so I'm doing him a favour. Is your Fated One more important than his job, Amelia?"

I narrow my eyes. I hate him, I genuinely hate this guy. "It's not the point. You're just gonna leave him jobless?"

"Then you won't be shagging your tutor anymore, right?"

I sip my coffee to stop myself from snapping at him like a Venus Flytrap. "You better line him up some job interviews then, huh?"

"Consider it done, my lady," he retorts. "I'd thought you'd be excited – this is the best shot we have, it's come straight from a guy who is in constant contact with Drifters. Could work. I'd think Joshua would rather sacrifice his job and have his Fated One for good, don't you?"

"What will he give up?" I ask.

"Emilia, I'd have thought. From being there, he doesn't give a shit about anything else. His job is minimum wage, and though he cares, the only thing important to him is her. That is before he met you properly," Joshua explains.

I believe that. Joshua told me about me in the other world before; how the me there is different, but he loved her. I'm Fated to Owen in that world – or that version of him – yet Emilia loves Joshua. It's all a bit ridiculous in my mind, but I suppose to them it makes sense.

"Do you know what happened with them? Like, does she know about me?" I ask.

Part of me doesn't want to know because a small part of me is imagining her, well me, with him and it sparks envy in there that really shouldn't be there. Me, but bitchier according to Joshua, me with a differently spelt name, who isFated to Owen, who works with Joshua.

"He doesn't love her because he loves you, if that's what you mean. He hasn't exactly broken up with her, but she told me while I was there how odd he was with her. Now she knows the truth, she knows why. Ironically, I've fallen for her—"

"So, you two just swap worlds and women? Yet both women are me? This is crazy," I cut him off.

"Welcome to the crazy world of Drifting," Josh announces with a grin.

I roll my eyes.

"I heard about the, uh, fiancé of yours and his potential of fake Knots," Josh says seriously. "He left me a note, must have been overnight, apparently something bad happened?"

"I... didn't know Joshua told you. But... yeah. You must know from uni that I'm... or, well, was? I don't even know what I am right now. But my childhood sweetheart, Owen... turns out he faked his Knot. Paid some guy off a couple of years ago to fake his Knot so we would be Fated. His Fated One is Segregated despite her being a friend growing up, and well, I'm Fated to Joshua. If you two hadn't like, switched worlds, I dread to think how much trouble I could be in, you know? Well, I still could be."

He sighs. "He paid someone off to try and be Fated to you? Without telling you, or her? I get not telling Joshua but, really? He sounds like an arsehole."

I sigh and glance away. "I want to agree with you, but... there's still that tie there right now."

"Yet you spent the night with Joshua," Josh adds.

"Yeah, all right, I know. I'm not perfect. I don't get it, it's like this magnet. Plus, Owen's acted like an arsehole."

"Do you wanna speak to him about it?" Josh asks.

I narrow my eyes at him. "You're my tutor... why are you discussing this with me? You're an arsehole anyway."

He chuckles. "I mean, you woke up in my bed and you're sticking around here. I have the day off, you clearly don't wanna go home right now, so I might as well try to help. Plus, I'll hand in my notice today so it's not like I'll be in a position of power over you for much longer."

I lean back in the chair and look at him. There's one big difference between him and my Joshua, and it's only when I really look at him that I can see it. Josh's nose is slightly crooked as if he'd broken it at some point, and as I look at him a little longer, he seems to have a slight scar by his lip.

"How'd you get the scar?" I ask.

He snorts. "Got in a fight in the other world, like a year ago. Let's just say your fiancé's counterpart didn't like the idea of me buying your counterpart flowers."

I snort. "You both swoop in and unknowingly fuck up Owen and me here, and there it seems."

Love and hate are two polar opposites, but the thing they have in common is they are such strong emotions. You can love so much that it hurts, and you can hate so much that it hurts. The problem with that is that they are so easy to get confused and messed up over because they are both such extreme emotions with extreme reactions.

That's why I'm so confused with Owen. I hate him for what he's done, but I love him because I've always loved him.

"The man put you, her, Joshua plus himself in danger with the law, kept you from your Fated One, Segregated a friend... because he loved you. The problem is, Amelia, when you love someone, you would do anything for them including letting them go. Especially when the consequences involve legalities, lives and whatever. Look, I can tell you haven't told me anything and it's not my business, but it sounds like you need a break."

"We share a home," I counter. "Plus, I have to face this at some point. It's easier to deal with it now. Joshua isn't here, which means I can't feel his emotions and he can't feel mine from the other world. That makes it easier to deal with Owen's crap because he won't be a distraction, and he won't have to deal with my stress as well as his."

"I mean, that's fair enough, but if you want it, the spare room is upstairs. I basically just sleep here, especially while I'm trying to sort out this Declaration, plus teaching. I can do my work in the office... you can stay here if you need to. Plus, whenever the Change happens, I'm sure he won't mind."

I chuckle and then realise myself. This guy is an arrogant butt, yet there's something seemingly nice about him right now. Maybe it's just because I didn't know him before? Maybe it's because he was hiding the fact he was a Drifter, and he didn't want to let anyone in?

"Thanks. I... I need to speak to him today, anyway... he's still my fiancé, and I guess I need to work out what we are. It needs to somehow be dealt with. But if he's still an arse, I might just take you up," I say.

"You've got my... his... our number, so just let me know," he says before showing me his Knot.

It's still the Celtic Heart, but it's completely different. Different angles, a different loop, different lines within the confines of the 'rope'. "See here?" He points to the middle. "This little mark that looks like a burn scar in a little d shape?"

I strain, but eventually, I see it. "Yeah."

"This, I found out while over there in the other world, is a sign of a Drifter. Joshua will have one as well. When the Declaration works, it'll fade and disappear. I'm hoping either one of these plans will work. If he turns up and you can feel or see the mark anymore, that'll know when it works."

"I hope it does," I say. "As much as I feel like we've bonded in the past half an hour and I don't hate you anymore, I kinda wish you were there."

He laughs. "No offence taken. Though, I'm glad you don't hate me anymore."

"I assume your dickheadedness was because you didn't want me finding out you were a Drifter," I mention.

"I mean, I like to think I've not been a dickhead, but sure, let's go with that."

My phone buzzes. I stare at the message from Owen: 'We need to talk.'

I groan. "I guess now is a better time than any."

"Good luck."

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Owen and I have been living here for a year, but only now at this precise moment do I realise how bland the bedroom is. We've left it in its plain cream painted state, with the only signs of life being the duvet cover in a deep red, and the various bits and pieces like a couple of photos on the bedside tables or the clock on the big chest of drawers. I suppose for a rented place, it's not uncommon for a place to feel bland, but why haven't we made it ours? Is that a sign of the state of our relationship that it's still so bland after a year?

"I knew you'd see sense," Owen says as he follows me into the bedroom. I grab a new outfit from the wardrobe, also bland and just full of crap.

The line between love and hate is so, so fine right now as I listen to Owen, look at him from the corner of my eyes and see the little box on top of his bedside table. I took my documents and hid them in my handbag. I left them on the bedside table at Joshua's house, so I didn't risk them. I'd told Josh that before I left, and he said they were safe. As much as that guy still riles me up just a little bit, I seem to trust him more than my own fiancé right now. If that doesn't say a lot, I don't know what does.

"I'm having a shower, and then I want to know what your plan is," I say with the least amount of emotion I can inject.

"What do you mean, plan? The plan is that we're getting married, Camellia—"

"I don't know if you remember what you did, Owen, but you've completely fucked my life over. I'm not Fated to you! You lied, you completely screwed over four lives here. I don't know that I can trust you!" I snap. I pull out the big bag from the wardrobe without thinking, throw a load of my clothes in. Makeup, hair things, phone charger, watch charger, laptop cables...

"Why are you packing?" Owen demands.

I always thought iron shackles were this old punishment from an age where people were treated like slaves, prisoners treated like subordinate people. Turns out I know nothing, because his hand clamps around my wrist before I can throw my hairbrush into the bag just like an iron shackle. It burns, but not in the way my Knot burns when I'm near Joshua. His fingers are over my Knot, yet I feel nothing.

"You... you treated my identity like it was something you could just make up like one of your plots in a book, Owen. My life is real, my Knot is part of me, this tether is real, no matter how much you pay someone to fake it. You Segregated one of our old friends because you couldn't bear to face reality. I get your brain is wired differently to mine, I get you're a writer, but you can't fabricate this," I hiss.

He stumbles back, but his shackle stays around my wrist. For a single second, he's wounded, he's shocked. I don't need to have known him for nineteen years to decipher that emotion.

"You know what? This—" He's spitting his words, and he shows me my wrist as proof of what he's talking about. "This is real now. To a naked eye, my love, this is real. Our cards prove who we are Fated to. It's me and you against the world. I've done this for us, Amelia. If you reject me, I can get you in trouble."

The shackle is loosened, and I pull my wrist back, putting the rest of my things in the bag.

I don't say anything more; what can I say? The way his eyes are widened show me that he won't listen to me unless I tell him how he's right and we should be together. I could tell him right now that I spent the night with Joshua, but I think he'd just blank it out until I told him that I will stay with him and get married.

I zip up the bag after adding the clothes I'd planned on changing into. I push past Owen and storm out of the house without another word.

As I slam the door of the house, I feel something burn on my lips. Almost like I'm being kissed, and I can feel Joshua's lips ghost over mine.

Though I don't know whether that means he's thinking about me or kissing Emilia...

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I hear Josh from the spare room in his house. He's in the bedroom; the one I'd slept in last night beside Joshua. He's Declaring into the mirror for the second time today. He'd handed in his notice at university earlier, cooked us both a lasagne and then I came up to mope around in bed. It's eleven, and I know both him and Joshua will – hopefully – be Declaring right now at the same time.

I just hope to fuck it works.

I told him about the feeling of Joshua's lips earlier, and he said it could be where he's kissed Emilia. The idea fills me with dread.

But it was more than that; I could feel the emotion, I could feel his lips. It was such a small moment, a simple peck, but ever since, I've felt a heavy cloud over me.

But I trust him; we're Fated. We've been on this precipice of something for a while, I know there's no way he'd risk it.

Josh moves around the house and into the bathroom. I sigh and stare at my phone. Fifteen missed calls from Owen, seven texts. My wrist still feels shackled whenever I think about him.

All I can think about is one thing: Owen's words to me. 'It's me and you against the world. I've done this for us, Amelia. If you reject me, I can get you in trouble.'

I need to take my mind off Joshua; that is out of my control. Until he returns and that little mark disappears, I need to stop panicking. There is one thing I can control: the situation with Owen. I took the cowards way out earlier by walking away.

There is a very fine line between love and hate, and though I know I will in a way always love Owen, and I know as much as he is evil, he did do what he did out of a skewed vision of love, the line has been crossed with him. He's in the hate zone.

But there is something I can do in all this mess. Well, two things, and I can do them in the morning: break up with him and find Sophia.

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