Severus placed a cup of coffee on his table, his ultimate fuel for the day, as he sat on his chair comfortably, ready to start his Sunday with some first years students' papers to grade. It was not the most perfect idea of spending his weekend, but it was something that he did, while waiting for you to come to his office.

Grabbing his quill, an exasperated sigh escaped his throat as he could already see a foolish mistake that his student made. Sometimes he wished he could let some of their mistakes go, but it was not in his ways of teaching to let the students' simple mistakes slip away from his attention, not when the answer was obvious but they still had them wrong.

It went on for almost two hours, and Severus glanced at his now empty cup, realising that time was ticking so fast but you were still not there yet. Usually, at that particular time, you would knock on his door in a familiar rhythm, something that annoyed him at first but he grew accustomed to it by time. But now as he stared at his door, it puzzled him when he was met with silence.

He turned his attention back on the papers, persuading himself that you were caught up with something, and you were always late thus it was not something that he should be concerned of.

His mind directed him to the event of yesterday when he noticed something was wrong with you. He did not get to talk to you, and it seemed like you were not feeling well. Perhaps it was just him, but he thought it was more than that, it was as if you had something to hide from him. He never knew that it would disturb him so much to know that you kept a secret from him, he was sure there was nothing that you did not tell him, but then again, he could be wrong.

He dropped his quill on the table, leaning back against his chair as his head pounded lightly at the thought of you having problems on your own without no one to aid you.

Severus shook his head, wondering why he was thinking about you so much when you were just his student. A student that has become his favourite person in Hogwarts, slowly melting his cold heart, without him even realising it. Or maybe he was not ready to face the reality yet.

He was not in the mood to grade the papers anymore as his frustration to see their mistakes was fuelled with your absence, and he quickly pushed the papers away from his sight before he could crumple them in annoyance.

Frowning, he still tried to figure out why you did not come to his office. You usually would inform him if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with your friends but now he did not hear anything from you. His heart was troubled as he remembered the last time he saw you, you looked tired and dejected, while he did not know your problems.

Severus stood up from his chair, looking around his office like he had been there for the first time, trying to figure out what he should do for the day. He truly did not know as his Sundays were usually spent with you. You would help him to grade the papers, which would be rare because he did not want to burden you with his responsibility, or you would bug him as he brew a potion, your mouth would not stop asking questions, astonishing him with your curiosity while annoying him at the same time with your noisiness.

But now he found his day quite empty without your imprudent questions to annoy him, and your brilliant ones to amaze him. His eyes landed on your chair, making a small smile appeared on his face. He was not sure if you realise, but the chair was reserved for you as he never let anybody else sat there. It was just something that he did, never dared to think of why he did it because he thought it was just a kind gesture.

The rain outside was attracting him, as he found himself walking closer towards the big window in his office. He used to close the curtains, despising the location of the window but since you always spent your time there, he let you open the curtains even if he was irritated at first. He slowly adapted to the situation as you loved to see when birds perched on his window, chirping happily in the morning or when you would stay there until curfew, watching the moon with him.

Those moments mattered to him, no matter how much he tried to act as if he did not care about anything you did. He cared, and he hoped you could see it.

The raindrops on his window brought him to a memory that he was not even sure he remembered, but apparently it was something in the front of his mind, as he found it easy for him to be reminded of it as soon as he realised it was raining outside.

"Y/N, you silly girl, what are you doing?"

He scolded as he saw you ran into the rain, leaving him behind in the castle. You only laughed as you could see the professor scowled at you, but worry was evident in his eyes as he thought you could get sick from the rain.

"Come on, Professor. No one is watching!"

You called him to join you, grinning as he rolled his eyes at your imprudent antics. A part of him was telling him to go, considering that most students had go back to their home during the holiday, but another part of him made him stay on his place, shaking his head at you.

"You're going to regret this, Miss L/N."

He stated, crossing his arms against his chest as he watched you enjoying yourself in the rain. A soft smile was cracked on his lips, glad to see how happy you were, so different than him when he was your age. In fact, he had never felt happy until you came, and now that you were leaving him soon, perhaps his happiness would slowly disappear too.

His sad thought left his mind when he heard your laughs, spinning around in the rain as you thought no one could see you but him. Sometimes it scared him of how much trust you put on him, making he wanted to look out for you and protect you with all of his power, unable to forgive himself if anything bad happened to you.

"I'm not going to regret this, Professor."

You said smugly, ignoring him as he eyed you from afar. But you surely regretted your words once you found yourself getting sick, and while Snape was concerned, he had fun teasing you as well when you came to him with your runny nose, sneezing like crazy as you waited for him to give you a healing potion.

"It's not funny."

You argued as he let out a deep chuckle when you sneezed again. Severus cocked his eyebrow, a smirk was threatening to creep out on his face.

"You should listen to me, Y/N."

"I know."

Severus tore his gaze from the rain, chasing the memory away as he closed the curtain, ready to continue his work as he realised you were not coming to his office that day. He came to a conclusion that perhaps you were in your dormitories or with your friends, and he was not going to disturb you.

He sat back in his chair, the soft sound of the raindrops against the window calmed him a bit, as he took his quill and continued his work, in a room that was too silent for his liking, without your sweet voice.

The raindrops fell against the window, and you watched as they slid down the glass, in an unstoppable stream that was identical as the tears on your face. With a heavy heart, you dropped your gaze in the sink, choking a sob as your watery eyes saw the white flower petals that just came out of your throat.

You cried as you felt another wave of nausea hit you, and you threw up in the sink, a strangled sob escaped your lips when you saw more white flower petals came out of your mouth, stinging your throat and you felt as if your chest was ripped apart from the inside.

Hanahaki Disease, you were sure of it now. You were slowly dying.

"What have you done to yourself?"

You cried out, clutching your chest as another sob threatened to break out, unable to contain how devastated and frightened you were to face the situation alone. But you did not know who you could go to, everything was so scary to you and you did not want to die, but the love in your heart was too strong that you could not bring yourself to let it go.

"I love him."

You whispered, heartsick, as you realised that your love was unrequited as you stared at the white flower petals. A half-hearted chuckle erupted in your chest, admitting that you were a fool for falling in love with a man who would never love you back.

Your love was pure and innocent, the same way as the white flower petals represented— But only you knew how poisonous those innocent petals were. The white flower petals looked so beautiful, so pure and innocent, as if they were mocking your naive love for the man. And now it was painfully killing you, something so innocent and alluring, had become murderous, just because of love that you had for the wrong man.

Perhaps he was the right man, but you met him at the wrong time, but nevertheless; Your love was one sided and now you had to face the gut-wrenching reality that you were alone in this. He could not help you because you were never in his heart.

"I love him..."

You fell on your knees, a great tremor overtook your body as you sobbed, putting your head in your hands to muffle your sobs. The memories of him clouded your mind, and you hoped you were strong enough to forget him, but you could not.

No matter how painful loving him was, you would never stop.