September 4th, 2015

Damien

"You should have seen it. We were eleven points down with ten minutes left on the clock. But oh man, Silva took to the stage and just - wow... C'mon you have to tell it Sil- only you can" Jaxon Reede said slapping his hand against my back and shoving me slightly forward as he laughed hysterically.

Twenty some pair of eyes turned towards me and I realised there was no way of getting out of this. So, like I always did, I gave in. Hesitantly I took a deep breath and felt myself slip into the memory as I always do when retelling our Basketball State Championships ...

"Let's face it. We've lost. Can I go home now?" Chad D. Clarke moaned as his mop of sweaty curly brown hair fell into his ripe face. He was right - we were losing and, to be honest, there wasn't much we could do. The other team was better than us in every sense of the word. They were stronger, faster, more nimble and could figure out our next move before we even did. Coach growled, "We still have 10 minutes - anything can happen."

"Send Silva up to attack. Give them something they ain't expecting," Alec piped up. I turned and glared at him - he knew how much I hate this sort of pressure and attention. Coach hummed in approval as he began to devise our game plan. "Alright, boys! Clarke, you're out- go home if you want to, but I think you'll want to see this. Silva, you move up to attack, and Reed, you take Silva's place"

The team struggled out onto the court. I looked around and saw my fellow classmates watching me. They were counting on me. Then I looked at my teammates; I was their last hope. I looked to Coach who was already smiling in triumph as if we had already won. I could feel my heart beat quickening and the panic consuming me. But just like always I recited the words that calm me; "breathe a lot or breathe a little". If I'm honest I don't know what the poet meant, but something about that day, just reminding me of that boy- where for a moment I was content in his eyes, calms me. Over the years the words have faded from my memory and I can no longer hear his velvet tone of voice. However, I like to think he has become a world-renowned poet and maybe one day I can let him know how much his poem affected me.

Shaking the cobwebs out of my head and focusing on the centre of the court- the game commenced again. Within seconds the ball was in play. For the first time, we had the upper hand. With a quick few passes, the ball was in my possession. I stood at the three point line and scanned around for anyone who was closer to the net to take the shot. No one was there so instead I did the only other thing I could think of - shoot. I released the ball and closed my eyes to say a silent prayer. I didn't want to see as I let down the team's final chance at regaining. But within a few seconds, I heard the eruption of cheers and screams. I opened my eyes to see the scoreboard flash. Our measly four points turned to seven. We were catching up to the other team's fifteen.

The ball quickly was set into play again. They took the lead, but to my surprise, our defence knocked the ball out of the net just in time. We had the ball again. Jaxon, being the cocky bastard he is, took possession of the ball but instead of passing it on dribbled it down the court, side-stepping the opposing team with the agility only someone who has done gymnastics for as long as he has could have. He took it to the two point line and made a neat shot straight in, proving to us just why he got to be cocky. We were at nine now and the other team were scowling lacing venom in their glares targeted in our direction.

Within minutes they were back on the ball. They shot and scored, reaching sixteen on the scoreboard. But we weren't done yet. There was something different on our side. I could see the new found fire we all had.

For the next few minutes we each scored a few more shots and before we knew it we had fourteen points and 30 seconds left on the clock. The ball was injected into the air. Everyone ran towards where it flew up- but using a little math trick my dad once told me I predicted where it was headed. Running in the opposite direction, in seconds the ball landed squarely in my hands. Everyone was halted as I realised I once again stood on the three point line- I knew I had to score so I shot. Again I performed my prayer-and-closed-eyes ritual and just as the buzzer went I heard an uproar. With my eyes shut I didn't know what side it had come from, but I knew I had to find out. I opened my eyes to see that I was surrounded by a team that threw me up on their shoulders and bellowed out cheers. Because of me, we had won the East Coast Basketball Championships 2015, yet I didn't feel like a winner at all...

I came out of the memory with a fake smile, because that's what they expect. "Yeah, it was awesome. Best day of my life - not to mention the chick I banged from their school. She was hot!" This was all a lie, but they didn't need to know that. I was waiting to finally feel something - but that just didn't happen. I was thrown into this world because of my love of basketball. However, to be a success you have to put on this little show, and you have to constantly remind yourself it's for the game.

I decided I would just zone out as everyone continued to talk to me about the girls they dated and really nothing at all. But all of a sudden I felt an oily trail run up my arm. I turn to see Lexi Reede, Jaxon's' twin sister, batting her ten-foot long lashes at me. Her lips were turned up in a "you know you want me" smirk. But, oh God, you are the only one who knows how far from the truth that was. Don't get me wrong she was beautiful, popular and one of our school's best cheerleaders. Yet somehow, her low cut top and caked face of makeup just didn't turn me on.

However, every other guy from our team was devoting their attention to her- yet her attention was on me. Alec had told me after I heard the news, this would happen. Every girl would be ready "to please me". If that was what I wanted, but he knew that wasn't what I wanted at all.

A great man once said "life is all about doing all things you don't want to", so if playing nice to her and her little posse is life, I guess I have to do it. "Hey babe," I heard my own voice coo, though I don't even remember my brain telling my mouth to say that. I guess you get so good at playing a role that eventually it's second nature.

"Hey gorgeous" she replied as she moved onto stroking along my neck and shoulders. "What you up to?" she slurred in what I am presuming is meant to be a seductive voice.

"Nothing much, just chillin' with the guys. I see you and the girls got up to some fun today?..." I respond, pointing to the shopping bags that swung from her and her friends' arms.

"Well you know, we needed to get a few extra outfits for school- we want to look our best for the new year- don't we?" she chirped in a half sing-song, half squeal. Yes, I had forgotten school starts tomorrow- our junior year.

Are you meant to be excited fo the start of a new school year? Well, I was not. Either way, in this game of charades it doesn't matter what you think, it just matters that you can play along. "Ooh, yeah I agree. This year is going to be great! Am I right guys?"