I stood outside for a while, I don't know how long I just stayed there, I lost track of the time. Just perching on the porch steps, thinking about everything that had happened. Today started off great, I woke up to Noah's head nestled into my chest, the sun was shining, I had plans to spend the day with him.

But then Jaxon brought the first load of bad news. Then my family came back, followed by the thought of loosing my team and chances at NBA. It all just spiralled out of control to come to a grand finale: me loosing Noah once and for all.

I finally dragged myself back into the house, I can't call it my house, I can't call it a home. It's not. It just a building that I go to to sleep. A place where I keep my stuff for the time being, where other people keep it functioning so I can use it. But to me, it's a building. Decorated to the nines to appear impressive, but to be truthful, when no one else is here you can feel the cold. The vast emptiness of this place. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be surrounded by people I don't care about. I want to go run after Noah, I want to explain to him how I feel about him. What the truth is. But I can't. I don't know what I feel, I don't even know what the truth is. I don't know Noah, I can't bring him into the hell that's my life without knowing what's going on in his. It's all too much.

I begin to head towards the stairs, I'm going to go to bed. I can't party tonight- hell, I hate these parties every weekend. But they were perfect at getting me popularity freshman year, perfect at landing me girls. Perfect at gaining me status and giving me the life I thought I wanted. But then I found what I need and none of this is that. But I just let that life walk right by me-literally.

"Hey Damian, you seen Noah?" Kate says chirpily, sneaking up beside me, as she waggles her eyebrows suggestively. Ever since its been official that Noah and I are 'somewhat' dating Kate's making the extra effort to be nice to me. She's really cool- but I know she can be mean and crazy aggressive when she's mad- so I'm slightly terrified at how she's going to react after she hears what happened with Noah earlier. I guess my down expression and silence explains everything-" what the hell did you do idiot? I swear if you hurt him I'm going to kill you- ripping you apart limb by limb. Starting with your balls!" she growls menacingly in a low almost deceiving tone from right beside my ear. For any bystander, it might look like flirtatious behaviour but God are they wrong. I shiver in fear and awkwardly recoil back. This is crazy she is over a foot shorter than me; yet I'm the one scared out of my wits.

But I guess my over expressive face betrays me once again. Kate suddenly sighs, exasperated, as the anger leaves her and concern takes its place. She's known as the 'listening ear'- the person you can go to and know you won't be judged. I've never used her services before, since the whole feud between her and the popular clique, but I know so many people in our school trust her with their problems. It's that version of her that gives me a sympathetic smile and drags me towards my bedroom, along the way Lexi runs up to join us seeing the commotion. Similarly, somehow, Jaxon appears too, Kate dragging him along by the collar of his shirt. We arrive at my bedroom to be met with Alec, standing at the doorway tapping his foot. He looks at me disappointed and just walks in.

"How do you know?" I squeak at him. As we all follow in behind him.

"How can I not know! Chad came screaming up to me, drunk off his ass, with some slut. Not Anisha-his girlfriend. Claiming that I'm an idiot for ever thinking you're a fag! Saying that I'm the fag here since I'm making things out of things that don't exist! He just kept taking jabs at me for being an idiot and it took all my willpower to not punch that 'all-knowing' smirk off his face. I wanted so badly to leave another shiner next to the one already glistening there thanks to Jax." He says frantically waving his arms around to emphasis his frustration.

"Yeah, it is pretty nice huh?" Jaxon smiles proudly at his craftsmanship.

"I don't know why I did it. I panicked. They were going on and on about how a fag can't be in the team, let alone Captain. You guys know how much basketball means to me!" I relent attempting to defend my actions.

"It means more to you than Noah?" Kate asks me. There's no longer judgement in her eyes and voice. She feels for me, she knows the answer as do I and that's what scaring me most. Because I know I chose wrong and if I could go back again I would change it completely.

"There's no point hiding it" I say scratching the back of my neck with my hand." I'm an idiot. Of course Noah's more important to me than basketball. I don't even know him but I know that. I just don't know whether I have enough faith to risk it all for him. Sure he doesn't like basketball, but without it I'm not sure who I am. Why would he want me then?" I say defeatedly.

"Because he sees more out of you than just the jock stereotype," Kate shrugs "I made fun of you constantly- I'll be the first to say I don't like you. But I know you care about Noah and from what Noah says it's not the sports or popularity he likes. He likes the guy behind that facade, a guy you were able to show only him." She says quietly. I'm not sure whether to thank her or be mad at her for her strong distaste for me. So I just nod in response.

"Dude? I haven't had my best bud in years. Not since your dad died. But in these past few weeks it's like the old you has finally resurrected and I don't want to lose that you." Jaxon says, pleading slightly, the care-free womaniser I know so well is no where to be seen.

"I'm pissed that you screwed you guys up before anything even happened." Lexi grumbles. I shoot her a look at her suggestive words. "What? I'm a big Yaoi fan so I was hoping for some live action!" She exclaims as if that's a suitable argument.

"What am I gonna do guys?" I say, collapsing on my bed.

"have you tried calling him?" Alec suggests.

"What's the point? He's not going to pick up." I shoot down his suggestion.

"It's worth a shot" so I do just that, but after four rings it goes to voicemail. I try to call him three more times but same reaction.

"He won't ignore me, I'll call him." Kate offers.

I shrug my shoulders at her, like Alec says 'it's worth a shot'. Like Kate said, after two rings the phone is picked up, he couldn't infinite her. I involuntarily sigh at the fact he's obviously ignoring me. Kate puts the phone on speaker so we can all hear as she initiates a conversation with him.

"Noah?" She asks hesitantly, scared of the reaction she's about to receive. All of us, in the room, collectively inhale a breath.

"This is Noah's phone. Who is speaking at the moment?" A strange male voice chirps through the phone politely.

"Kate?" Kate replies but it comes off as more of a question as she too is confused at this strange turn of events.

"Agh, let me see.... Oh, Kate! Are you his girlfriend or... my date this weekend?" The random guy attempts to seductively say. But through the phone it just sounds like a drunk slur.

"What the fuck is going on? And where is Noah?" Kate screams down the line, frustrated.

"Sweetheart, no need to be feisty. Noah is a bit caught up at the moment... Literally. He's fine, no need to fret your pretty little head.... Ooh, I nearly rhymed! So tell me, about that date next weekend... Pick you up at seven? From your house? I'll just get the address from Noah when he's no longer tied up...."

"What bullshit is going on. Tell Noah this isn't funny and to get his ass on this phone!"

"Okay, okay, let's see. Reece you done there?"

"Yup pretty much-" then ruffle and scrummaging from random materials can be heard from the phone line. Then distantly Noah's voice comes through.

"Mas untie me this instant"

"Nah-uh" the guy who picked up the phone chirps back. So Noah takes a different track-tone turning sweet and concerned.

"Cmon Reece, when Scarlett gets back what will she think of you doing this to me?"

"Well, serves her right for going off with him" the other guy grumbles.

"What the hell is going on?" Kate says turning to me, I shrug as dumbfounded as her. I don't know who Noah is with- but he doesn't seem upset about me-hell, he seems happy. I don't know what's worse: hurting the one you care about or knowing you can't affect the one you care about.

"What in the name of Christ is going on! I leave Noah with you for ten minutes and this is what happens!" An undeniably recognisable voice booms, making it's first appearance.

"Ash?" Kate questions through the phone.

"Kate?" He says equally confused.

"Oops, this is your Kate, my bad" the one who picked up the phone, Mas I think, says.

"Ash, why is Noah with you? And what's going on? Is he okay?" She says, suddenly tired of all of this.

"Uh...um" Ash replies. This must be the first time any of us have herd him nervous, which is easily shown from the bewildered faces of my friends and I.

"Ash?" Kate prompts again.

"Don't be mad with him. I was being annoying and practically forced him to take me with him on his motorcycle. So, glad I did though, it's been so cool. I can't believe you didn't tell me about Ash!" Noah says coming to Ash's defence, interrupting the awkward conversation in place.

"I did tell you about Ash" Kate says solemnly.

"Nothing of importance" Noah argues.

"Since when does Kate speak anything of importance" Ash smirks, his nervousness completely gone. "Chill, Kate we're just having some fun. I'll get your boy back to you in one piece I promise."

"Bring him to my house this instant!" Kate demands

"No can do missy, Noah's mine for the rest of the weekend. Hell we might just make it a week." Ash laughs cockily.

"And is this what Noah wants?" Kate says trying another tactic.

"Kate, I'm sorry I worried you and I know your history with Ash isn't good. But please, I want to enjoy myself for a little while, with some friends and be a real teenager for once, please" Noah begs and I can just watch as Kate resolve fades away and she slowly gives in.

What the hell has happened? I was trying to find a way to get Noah back but instead Noah found a way to spend the weekend with a different guy. It's Ash of all people. Who knows what they're going to do now. Who knows what I'm going to have to do to get my Noah back.....