After school I walked back home. I was going to go over to Emily's but I was honestly way too tired to pretend I'm ok with everything. I'm lying on my bed scrolling through my phone with heavy eyes but I wouldn't let myself sleep. But after a few minutes I just couldn't stay awake

I changed the radio station when a song I didn't like came on. I'm currently driving to the gym for a late night session. Suddenly a car comes speeding towards me their headlights blinding me

I jump awake and end up sitting up on my bed. This was one of the many reasons I hated going to sleep, I didn't get any anyway. There was a knock on the front door so I went downstairs

I opened the door and Emily was standing there with Oli in her arms "Well you look a mess" she walks past me. I sigh and follow her to the kitchen, Emily's looking through the fridge when I walk in "When was the last time you guys done a food shop?"

"I don't know" I mutter and sit down on on a stool

"Uh-uh get back up, let's go food shopping"

I shake my head profusely. Emily gives me a sympathetic look "Talia you can't never get in a car for the rest of your life"

"I'll get back into a car..... just not today"

"We're going" she says sternly

I don't move so instead she walks over to me and takes my hand in hers before speaking softly "I'll be there with you"

It takes me a few minutes but I nod. It's not like I can never get in a car again and maybe just maybe this will get rid of my nightmares to go away "okay"

The usually short car journey to the supermarket had me biting my nails the whole way. I was way more attentive than ever and my eyes were constantly switching to each view point

And I wasn't even driving

"So how was your first day back?" Emily asks as we scan through the aisles

I shrug. I had Oli in my arms while Emily pushed the shopping trolley "It's still not my favourite thing but at least it got me out of the house"

"Did you see Ryder?"? She asks

I hold back my eye roll. Emily's been constantly asking about him since that day in the hospital "Seen him alright" I mutter with raised eyebrows

She rolls her eyes "I've stayed quiet for long enough. I really don't think you really to what extent Ryder went to for you. You still have some sort of job to go back to because of him because he took your shifts, when you were in the coma he never left your hospital room until I forced him to go home and sleep and with that he came back an hour later and that was after a week. He literally blamed and probably still blames himself for the whole accident and he bought you a new car he planned on surprising you with"

I roll my eyes, I couldn't deal with this right now

"Talia you rea-"

"So how was your day?" I interrupt her by asking

she sighs obviously annoyed by my constant interruptions every time that topic is brought up "It was fine, me and Oli just went to visit a friend"

We were back home an hour later. Emily only dropped me off because she had to get Oliver to bed so it took me extra long to unpack the shopping, which may I add is the worst part. My phone beeps from the living room so I take a seat on the couch and open the message

Cammy:

Hey b, there's a party tonight! You coming?

I type my reply

Hey, think I'll skip it tonight I've got some homework

She never replied after that. From what I gathered off Instagram and snapchat it was a pool party at one of the jocks houses. Cammy was seen in some of the videos but I didn't see Ryder

Why were you looking for him you idiot

Mom got back around midnight. I was still watching Netflix in the living room. "Hey sweetie, are you going to bed soon?"

I nod and turn towards her "How was work?"

"Good but I'm shattered after it. I think I'm going to go straight to bed" she tells me and gives me a kiss on the cheek

"Night mom" I say once she's on the stairs "I love you"

She smiles "I love you too sweetie"

I sigh once I hear her bedroom door close. Great another long night

The next day I got out of bed a little earlier. Obviously my false persona hadn't worked with everyone, everyone being Ryder so I had to try a different tactic. My tactic being covering the bags under my eyes with make up and wearing something that's just a little less lazy than yesterday

I hopped into the shower but luckily I didn't have to wash my hair. It didn't take me long to do my make up and I just fixed up the bun from yesterday. I changed into some comfortable clothes

I got to school a little late. I'm walking through the empty corridors looking at my phone when I bumped into someone

"Sorry I didn't s-" I stop mid sentence once I look up to see who it was. Yep you guessed it, Ryder

He looks down at me and study's my face "Cute make up. It would cover those bags from far away, too bad it doesn't hide those bloodshot eyes" he smirks "so you've either got allergy's or you're really tired"

I roll my eyes "I'm not listening to this"

I went to the cafeteria again at lunch. Today I had to walk further in to see who Cammy was sitting with. I turned around to leave but stopped in my tracks when someone shouted

"Talia!"

I turn around to see that Cammy has stood up at the popular table "Are you not coming to sit with us?"

I look around to see we've caught everyone's attention and the cafeteria has become quiet "I have work to catch up on"

She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms "how long are you going to keep this up for? You've been in a car accident boo-hoo but what does that have to do with school" I don't say anything instead I just shift in my spot and fiddle with my ring "You don't sit with us. You hardly speak anymore even in class. Have you suddenly become shy? Trying to pretend you weren't the talk of the school for the past year"

I once again don't reply. I could have taken what she was saying in private but was it really necessary for her to do it on front of everyone and shout it across the room? To make me sound stupid for sticking to myself? To make fun of my accident?

I turn around to leave which only seems to anger her more "Everyone was right when they called you an attention seeking slag"

Gasps can be heard all around the cafeteria. I turn my head to face her after the commotion settles down "What and you're the perfect friend?"

I push the cafeteria doors open and walk out. When I see the halls are empty I run out to my car and drive home. I went straight to my room and jumped onto my bed. I didn't feel like crying, I felt numb. I never ever expected for Cammy to say something like that about me, I get that maybe she would think I'm being off with her but if she asked she'd know why I didn't sit with them but that doesn't give her a free ticket to talk shit about me

Hours passed of me just staring into nothing. I sat up in my bed, annoyed at myself for what I was doing to myself. What Cammy said was way out of line but I was never one to stand there and take it, so why would I start now

Trying to get back to normal meant I had to face reality's and my fears and I was going to start now. I picked up my phone and clicked into my messages before typing and hitting send

Can you come over?