Obviously the Pogues agreed. We went to get beer on the boat and then went back to the house.

So we threw our own little Pogue party. Getting high, drinking beer, chilling in the hot tub, listening to music, just having fun.

At one point Pope started free styling, making us all laugh hard as hell. "Just like the good lord intended." I joked after he finished.

Pope and JJ were wrestling outside the hot tub at one point and JB was narrating it. Pope sweeped JJs leg and they fell on the floor.

"All right. I'm out of here." Pope said as he stood back up in victory. "Did you have too many beers?" JJ asked in a weird accent, making Sarah and I laugh.

"You want a round two?" JJ asks him as he walked off. "Yeah I think I'll take my losses." Pope replied.

Kie got up and walked off with him. Sarah and I looked at each other, joyous shock on our faces knowing what's going on. "Really?" She laughed "Way to be discreet!" I yelled at them.

"I leave and this is what happens." John B sighed jokingly. "Are you blaming me?" I laughed, seeing he was looking at me. "Just a little bit." JB said, making us all laugh.

"Your boys out. Beer time." John B told us, standing up from the hot tub. "You guys are the ones that died, okay?" I said, going back to the conversation.

"Literally one job, (Y/N)." Sarah joked. "No Pogue on Pogue macking." She added. We all knew damn well that rule was down the drain but still joked about it.

"One job?" I questioned. "One job." She nodded, trying to hide a smile. We argued for a bit but not in a serious way. JJ got out of the hot tub and walked over to where John B was looking at our tree. I didn't go over there. They were like brothers, they needed some time alone right now.

Sarah and I kept talking. I saw JJ and John B hug. That made me so incredibly happy because they were back. We had all of our family back together.

Sarah saw it too and smiled also before we looked back at each other and kept talking, getting out of the hot tub though. J and John B came back before the HMS started diving away, Kie and Pope on it.

"Woah, okay!" JJ said. "Have a good time!" Sarah shouted. "There he goes." JJ added. "Pope's poking on the Pogue." John B said. We all just laughed once more.

"You should probably-" I cut JJ off as I heard a door slam. "What was that?" I asked. "You're chicken?" J replied as our chicken clucked.

"I heard a car door." I said. JJ started clucking like a chicken but JB put a hand over his mouth. He heard it too.

We heard people talking and ran up in the tree. There wasn't much room where we could be hidden so Sarah stood leaning against a branch, JB next to her, and JJ and I sat sitting on a dip.

We were extremely close together and I tried to not get distracted by it.

But I could feel his breath on my neck, his thighs were literally pressed against mine, his warm skin clashing with my cold. And something else that I'm not going to describe.

Oh shit. Rafe walked out into the back yard. He had a gun in his hand.

I felt JJ tense behind me. Or maybe I tensed. I don't know.

He looked around. "Where the hell are you?" He wondered to himself. He was off his shit obviously, probably high on coke.

Barry crashed the inside of our house and Rafe crashed the backyard but we couldn't do anything about it.

Barry came out of the house. "Yo!" Rafe yelled. "Anything?" He asked. "No, ain't shit in there bro." Barry replied.

"No? Nothing?" Rafe asked. "No, nothing, Rafe." Barry said. "They were obviously just here based off the smoke, man." Rafe was starting to get angry.

God I hated him when he was angry. "Yeah yeah great observation, Boy Scout." Barry told him. "They're not far, you know?" Rafe said. "Smokey the Bear! Look at you, bro!" Barry yelled.

"They got to be around here somewhere." Rafe said and walked around a little more. "P4L." Barry laughed, reading the sign on the tree.

"So your sister and your little hookup partner are Pogues for life, huh, Rafe? Now who would've thought?" Barry teased.

My knuckles turned white from holding my fists together so tight.

Rafe started breathing heavy. "Shit!" He yelled so loudly we all jumped a bit.

He held the gun up to the tree and shot the little memorial. Barry grabbed him, yelling at him, but Rafe was still shooting.

A bullet hit right in front of my face and it would've hit me if JJ didn't pull me back, both of his hands wrapped around me.

Barry yelled at Rafe and they left.

All of us were breathing heavy and we all looked at each other in fear really.

Rafe was batshit crazy. He was mentally ill. And he was high on coke all the time. He was actually dangerous.

We got down and went inside the Chât after that. We cleaned up what we could but the place was a shit hole before they came.

John B and Sarah went into JBs room after the initial shock wore off. I was sitting on the couch, my knees pulled up to my chest as I sat on the corner, looking out the screen porch.

My head was racing and my heart was still racing too.

"You need to sleep." JJ told me, coming out of nowhere. I laughed a little bit. "I can't." I said.

"Uh. I think we need to talk." JJ said after standing in silence for a second. He sat down kind of close to me on the couch.

I didn't say anything, just looked at him. He wasn't looking at me, he was looking at his hands as he fidgeted with them. "Clearly we still have something." He said. Starting off strong I guess.

"And clearly we also have problems." He added. "Um... but I just cant keep doing whatever it is that we're doing." He told me. He finally looked up at me. "It's killing me." He whispered.

I could see the pain in his eyes. The longing also. It hurt me so bad knowing I was the cause of it.

He looked back down at his hands. I licked my lips, not knowing what to do or say. I don't think he was expecting much because I had nothing much.

My heart was slowing down earlier but picked up again. I put my legs down. I hesitated for a second. "Jesse Jordan listen to me when I say this. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good partner. I cannot hold a stable relationship clearly." I told him. "But I love you."