I had like 2 hours of sleep tonight.

I woke up to the typical loud music playing from the speakers, followed by Mrs Choi telling us about what would happen today.

Apparently we had bible classes, and a quiz at the end of the day.

I felt sick.

No part of me wanted to get out of bed.

Sunlight from the window hit my face and blinded my eyes. I put my hand over my eyes to shield them.

I heard Hyunjin move. Usually he would stay in bed until I woke him up after getting ready. But this time I was the one who stayed in bed. He went straight to the bathroom without saying anything.

After he closed the door behind him I turned around and sat up on my bed. I rubbed my eyes and stared into nowhere. I tried mentally preparing me for when Hyunjin got out of the bathroom. He would probably say something right? Maybe he would wait for me to get ready before leaving?

I found a pair of black jeans and a gray hoodie in my bag. I held them on my lap, waiting for the bathroom to be ready. I made up a plan for the day.

I'd just find an empty table in the caf, as far away from the guys as possible and sit there alone. I'd go into a different classroom for the Bible classes. Nobody would notice.

And for the quiz, I'd do the same.

_

Hyunjin opened the bathroom door.

He looked over at me, and we made eye contact for a second.

"I'm done" he said

I gave him a small nod before walking into the bathroom.

I changed into my clothes, and brushed my hair. Just as I was about to start doing my makeup I heard the door shut.

I immediately understood that Hyunjin went out without me.

I felt a bit bad about it, but I kept doing my makeup, and then walked to the cafeteria by myself.

As I walked into the caf I noticed Seungmin and Jeongin staring at me from their table. Not long after, I had Beomhan's, Changbin's and Hyunjin's eyes on me as well. They all knew.

I tried looking around for others who could've known about it, but I wasn't attracting the eyes of anyone else.

I sat down on an empty table, and ate my food alone. Two tables away from me I saw Kai. He was also sitting alone.

He's the only one I know of that's aware of my sexuality outside of my old friend group. I felt alright that he knew tho, cause he didn't have any friends here. Why would he tell anyone if he doesn't have anyone to tell right?

He was sketching in his little notebook. I noticed him glancing over at me a lot.

Well, after what he overheard yesterday, I'd expect him to stare.

I wasn't sure what he thought about it tho, but I'd rather not know.

_

After breakfast, I went into a different classroom than before. Nobody seemed to care. I just sat down and listened. Well, I tried to listen. I kept thinking about Hyunjin, Jeongin and all that

In our free time I decided to sit down in one of the sofas inside. Most people were outside today. I sat in a different sofa than the one from yesterday in hopes that i would sit alone. I looked out the window. I saw Hyunjin and the others playing volleyball. They were having fun.

«Hey» Someone suddently said behind me.

I jumped.

I looked over to see who it was, and it was Kai.

«Can i sit here?» He asked me

I was confused. There are other sofas that he could've chosen, but he decided to come straight to my sofa? The one I was sitting in?

"Ok" I said a bit confused

He sat down next to me. There was noticeably more space between us now than yesterday. The whole setting was kinda awkward.

We didn't say anything for the next couple minutes. I kept looking out the window, and he was drawing.

"By the way-" Kai said

He stopped for a second.

"-about yesterday"

I sighed, and looked down.

He cleared his throat.

"I don't mind" he said.

I looked over at him. I didn't know what to say. I was happy, but embarrassed. I was also a bit confused.

"Alright" I said

"It's just. I noticed you sitting alone today, and you looked a bit sad so I just wanted to let you know"

I looked down again.

"Yeah"

I didn't know what to answer him. He was probably curious to know the backstory, and why I completely stay away from my friends after it happened, but I wasn't in the mood to tell him.

We sat in awkward silence a couple more minutes.

I took a quick look down at his sketchbook.

I was surprised by what I saw. Is he drawing me?

He kept looking at me once in a while, and then going back to drawing. Now I see why. He's drawing me.

He saw me looking over at his notebook. He let out a little "oh".

"Is that me?" I asked him, trying to sound less rude and tired.

"Yeah hah" he said, and showed me the drawing.

It looked just like me. He drew me a flowercrown. He even drew my surroundings. How is he so quick?

I was flustered.

"Wow" I said

He laughed

"I guess I kinda felt bad for you. You weren't really meant to see it tho" he said

He flipped to another side, and there was another drawing of me. I was wearing a flowercrown in that one too.

"I drew this one of you earlier today in the cafeteria" Kai said showing me the drawing.

"That's why you were looking at me so much" said

We laughed a bit

"Oh, you noticed?" He laughed

It felt nice to finally let out a little laugh. Not that it was extremely funny, but I really needed that right now.