I pace up and down tiredly in this room. I barely slept last night, much like most night since he escaped.

Oh, Igor how could you just leave me.

Tears – that have become my daily sustenance – flow again. I still remember Shepherd taunts when Igor escaped. He was angry and he came back and took it out on me. Ever since then he has returned me to my old room, but I have never known any peace.

All I can ever do is try to protect my child as he takes out his anger on me for not finding Igor. Igor has been gone a full week and today is the day the whole kingdom finds out the truth.

It is morning and I am not ready for when the day officially starts. I am supposed to be due today and it is such an event that Shepherd has all day and night staff that is on standby.

He knows of course that I won't go in labor, but he wants to cover all his bases so when he kills me and my child, he will be justified by everything.

When I lived the last time, and I woke up in Igor's house I thought the goddess had finally shone on me. that my life was finally going to be good. But how wrong I'd been. I thought Igor would have come for me by now.

I don't even know how he escaped. Or where he got the strength to kill – I'm told - 35 soldiers on his way out and why he didn't come for me. We would be long gone.

Shepherd and Shamus have not stop laughing at me for trusting an animal. They call me an idiot every chance they get, and I am starting to believe them.

But Igor has never let you down.

I hold myself up remembering that. It is so easy for me to allow the bad stuff to cloud me but when I really remember everything, Igor has never let me down and there is no reason for me to believe he will start now. And often times I forget that when all these people are talking and laughing in my ear.

I really miss the orc. It's been too long, I am even starting to forget what he felt like. I am left with fading memories as my body is replaced with new bruises that have nothing to do with the bliss of lovemaking.

I guess I should be thankful Shepherd hasn't killed me yet. Though by his talks, he is very excited the time is drawing near.

I jump when the door opens, and my worst nightmare shows his face. I lower my eyes and I look away from him but not before I see the happy grin on his face.

"You don't look happy, wife." I hear the cheer in his voice. After almost 6 years knowing this man and his hatred of me, it still floors me just how intensely he hates me. And I don't even know what I ever did to him.

I hear more footsteps and in seconds, people are moving around situating different things.

"What's going on?" I ask and I turn to him.

He has a cruel smile, and he comes closer. "They are going to fix you then you are seeing the royal physician and the chief midwife, of course. Aren't you excited wife?"

I step away from him.

"But that wasn't supposed to be until a few days."

"I'm the king, I just felt like it. Is there an issue?" he grins widely to me.

I flinch and I turn from him, and I wrap my hands around myself. Me and my child are dying. I know he wants to get rid of me as soon as he can, sooner than he originally intended and there is nothing I can do.

Igor. Why don't you come for me?

Instantly an unpleasant thought reenters my mind. A thought I have tried my hardest to ensure I don't even entertain. Igor leaving me and forgetting about me is a pleasant thought compared to the alternative.

I shake my head trying to remove it from my mind. Igor being no more isn't a reality I would want to exist in. I may as well be gone myself. I would choose death as well if the orc was no more, and that has been one of Shepherd and Shamus's taunts.

Three days ago, after he was finished beating me, he told me of all the times he has poisoned Igor and how he would writhe like a dog on fire as he growled my name.

Fresh tears roll off my face and I let them as I take several shaky breaths and I feel my heart pumping faster.

"No." I whisper to myself, hoping me saying it will dispel the ugly thought from my mind. Igor being no more would be my death. I hold my stomach in my hands, and I rub it. My child kicks as if they can also see what I'm thinking.

"Shhh..." I try to soothe them. but how could I soothe them when I am dying inside too?

"Maybe if you cry hard enough it will come back." The evil voice makes me clamp my mouth immediately and I close my eyes. I sniffle and I try to collect myself. I have shown him my weakness once more.

"Your highness..." the small and unsure voice of Hannah comes from behind us, and Shepherd backs away.

"Yes?"

"The physician has arrived. Should we bring her to this room or the royal chambers?"

"Tell them to come here instead when my wife is ready." I hear him retreating more. "Oh, and smile wife. Today is a happy day." I hear his glee before the door closes shut and I am left with three servants.

I let them bath me and I don't even look at them as I wince from the various bruises in my arms and some on my face and cuts on my legs. They soak me in the janga infused water, and it tingles as it repairs my skin. I guess he doesn't want the doctor to see.

They wash my face too and after over an hour in the water and with wet clothes on my face, I guess I am ready because Hannah, Barbara and another servant girl fish me out of the water. I walk to the mirror, and I see my repaired body and I hate it even more.

I want people to see exactly what this monster does to me. I want them to see how much of cowards they actually are. Letting him do this to a pregnant woman and they all stand by. I don't even excuse them because they fear for their own lives. I just feel bitter and broken.

My own father and stepmother saw my bruises three days ago. My father turned away from me and left the room and my stepmother pretended there was nothing wrong with me. I cried in her presence, and she just pretended she didn't see anything.

I release another shaky breath.

You need to be strong, Aria. For your child and whatever destiny has written for you, it can't be changed now. If the goddess only wrote your suffering, then that is all that your life will amount to. Now, stop crying, you are upsetting the child.

I stare at my own reflection as I try to let the words solidify my strength. I need all of it. If I am to die, then I will die with my head held high. I will die in my truth. I will die strong. I will die unbroken.

I can't let Shepherd win.

My pride is the only thing I can remain with. If I am dying then let me not die on my knees like I am nothing, let me die on my feet like a queen.

Resolve solidified, I let the girls dress me and get me ready for the doctor and the midwife. I know everything that's going to happen. So let me just get through it. All those people can't break my soul if I don't allow them.

They set me on the sofa when they are finished. Hannah gives me one last look of compassion before she turns and escorts the other two servants out and she lest the doctor and midwife in.

They find me waiting. Hannah comes to stand on my side.

"Queen." The midwife and the doctor who won't meet my eyes bow and say in unison.

"Good morning." I answer simply.

"We are here to check on your health and make sure we are ready for your birth that I am told should be dated today." The midwife asks in question, but I sense it's not really a question. If she's worth her salt as a midwife, then I have no doubt she sees I am nowhere near ready to give birth.

The midwife is in her late 50s if I had to guess and the doctor maybe 30s. I linger a little on the doctor who seems uncomfortable by something. But I have never met her before, and I don't know why she would seem so uneasy.

"Go ahead then. This is Hannah by the way." I gesture to Hannah.

"I am Bethany, and this is Doctor Augustine." The midwife says.

"Nice to make your acquaintance ladies." I give them a small smile.

Hannah offers me her hand and I take it and she leads me to the bed. I plant my bottom on the bed and everyone in this room is uncomfortable right now. We all know what is going to be found.

I open my robe and I lie down, and I let the midwife touch my stomach. She and the doctor do their checks and they have me open my legs and I do.

I can feel the air get tenser and tenser the more time goes. After a while, the doctor stops writing in her small sheet and the midwife and Hannah dress me.

All of them avoid my gaze but for some reason I am calmer than I thought I would be. What came with accepting my fate is an eerie calm. I know my fate is sealed anyway and they know it too.

"We are finished, queen." The doctor says.

Hannah helps me sit up and I look at the doctor who is looking at anywhere but at me.

"Well, doctor?" I say.

She clears her throat, and she looks at the two women. "Can you please give me a moment alone with the queen." She says.

I want to tell her its fine. All of it is going to be out anyway.

"But the king said—" the midwife starts.

"The doctor needs a moment with the queen, Bethany." Hannah's voice comes out harder than I've ever heard it. I think this is the first time I hear her assert any kind of dominance.

Before the midwife says anything further, Hannah leads her out. I look at Hannah and she nods, giving me strength. I almost want to chuckle. Who knew my little mousy Hannah had such strength?

The past few weeks her and I have gotten a little closer. When Igor was still around, she would give me information on him, all the little things she heard. We never talked about why she was doing it, but she told me things being said around the palace on Shepherd's plans.

Of course, these were stolen moments, when Barbara wasn't around, and they were mostly one sided. She spoke, I listened. But she never told me what happened to her.

The doctors throat clearing brings me back to the present and I turn to the doctor who looks like she is about to tell me she has to amputate my leg or that I have a fatal disease.

We stay in a moment where we stare at each other. Her gaze is full of so much compassion and regret.

"You know what the result of this examination is, queen." She states.

"I know, doctor."

She licks her lips nervously. "You probably don't remember because you were unconscious, but I am the doctor who told the orc of your pregnancy."

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