I don't know what I was doing.... I was too angry and didn't knew the reason myself.

May be I was angry at myself , angry at my inner war that has been a continuous source of irritation. And thats all just because of her.

"Com'on I ll make you my wife today!"

I pushed her towards the bed holding her left arm. She looked at me with shock and the next thing was what made me come to my senses!

I felt my left cheek heated up!

She slapped me!

I let go of her arm and looked at her who was now seeing me with disgust.

"I feel disgust of you Mr. So called Sheharyar Ali! " she said with every power she had left.

Her chest was going up and down so fastly as if she feeling difficulty in breathing.

Her eyes were red.

Her hair fallen roughly.

Her dress.... I closed my eyes.... her shoulder skin was exposed.

What was I even thinking.... how can...

" Janti thi k ap rude han.... batamez han... arrogant han... ego k sardar han... magar itni ghiri hui soch ho gi ap ki! I didn't even had a slight glimpse of it.....

You were about to rape your own WIFE! BECAUSE YOU CALL IT THE DUTY OF A WIFE?"

She wiped her tears. Her nose was too red due to constant crying.

You are the reason Sheharyar!

"Biwi ka haq sirf us k jisam par nahi jitaya jata Mr. Sheharyar Ali!

Ap jaisy janwar hi hoty han woh jo larkio ki zindagi barbad kar dety han! Because WHAT YOU ALL WANTED IS YOUR FUCKING RIGHT OF BEING A MAN! "

Her veins of neck were throbbing out and she was in complete anger.

Hona bhi chahiye.... I deserve this!

I lowered my eyes due to guilt.

She faked a laugh and said,

"Ap ne socha ho ga! Dewani ho gai ha pagli! Piyar kar baithi ha chalo mai apni hasrat hi puri kar lu!

But you know what!

Ishq kia hai!

Khud ko baich nahi dia ap k agay!"

"Aur ....aur ap samajhty kia han khud ko? Kaha k raja han ap? Han?"

She hit me on my chest with her hands.

"Bolai! Ya us Parwardegar ne ap ko itna akhtayar de dia ha k kisi ki bhi beti ya behn k sath ap yu karai!

Array mana k ap ki marzi nahi thi is shadi mai! You know the truth! Even I didn't wanted to marry you but you know what! I did! And I just didn't marry you! I did every...every possible way to make this marriage work! Not like you just signed the paper for the sake of family. I proved that what I promised to my family I fulfilled it. "

She sniffed and said with a low tone,

"Baba ne kaha tha Sheharyar bohat acha hai! Aur agr acha na bhi hua tab bhi us ka khayal rakhna! Us k sath mil k is shadi ko kamiyab banana....

Mai har mushkil waqat k liye ap k sath khare hone ko tayar thi Sheharyar! Ap ne mujhe itna kuch kaha.... lalchi, batameez aur na jaane kaisy kaisy elzam lagaye! I didn't said a word. I just let my love win your heart! Ap k andar kuch achai dekhti thi mai... mehsos kia tha k ap achay han....par...."

"Par ap ne kia kiya? You just ..... just..."

She stopped saying anything. Her breath was too harsh or may be the silence was much.

"Ap ne ye shadi apni behn ki khushi k liye ki thi na...

Dusro ki behn ki khushi ka khayal nahi aya ap ko?" She asked.

Tears were endlessly flowing.

And I suddenly felt suffocated.

Why her teary eyes are making me restless.....

"Yeah! Ap ko kiu khayal ho ga....

Ap ki ego hi itni bari hai k ap ko us k agy kuch nazar hi nahi ata!"

"Soha...." I was about to say when she put her hand up and stopped me saying,

"Bas kar dai Sheharyar! Ap ki awaz....

Your voice is killing me

Your.... your touch have caused so much damage to my heart that....."

She closed her eyes and turned around.

"Ap chalay jaye yaha se Sheharyar!

Mujhe nafrat ho rahi hai ap k chehre se...ap k yaha khare hone se... ap k....

Array ap ki kia! Mujhe toh khud se bhi ghin aa rahi! "

She said and crying she went into the bathroom and closed the door with a loud tugh...

And I went on my knees...

What have I done .......

------------

Zindagi kitni ajeeb hoti hai na....

Pal mai kuch....aur pal mai kuch aur ho jati hai.....

Kia kia sochta hai insan k apne zindagi k safar mai kia kuch kare ga....

Is ko khush kre ga....

Us ki khushi ka khayal rakhy ga.....

Ye khawahish puri kary ga....

Woh kam pura ksre ga....

But in the end! What you get is what had earned!

But I haven't done a single thing for myself! For sake of my own happiness!

Doctor bani toh maa baba ki wish purni krne k liye....

Achi behan bani....bhai ki khushi k liye....

Biwi tak ban gai! Apno ki khushi k liye....

What did I got?

Ye roz roz ka tamasha....

Ye ruswai....

Yah ye shohar! Jo mujhe biwi manta hi nahi tha aur ab!......

Ab usay apne shohar hone ka huq chahiye tha!

Ek larki ki zindagi bhi kitni ajeeb hoti ha na....

Pehly baap k saye mai jeeti hai...

Baap na ho toh bhai sar par hath rakh dety han.....

Phir wahi baap aur bhai jinho ne saari zindagi itna piyar dia ho...k use bhulana mushkil ho....

Wahi humai kisi anjan k hawaly kar dety han ye keh kar k 'beta! Ab se yahi tumhara saathi hai'

Aur woh bechari.... baap aur bhai ki baat sun k chal parti hai us ajnabi k sath.....

Phir agar zindagi meharban ho toh usi larki ka sath us ka beta deta hai.....

Matlab! Every women needs a man to survive! Either its her father, brother, husband or son. This is what our society have made a rule.

"Sohaaaa! " ifra clapped her hands in front of me.

"Kaha gayab ho? "

"Han...kahi nahi ...just dozed off... kia keh rahi thi tu?" I asked.

"Yahi k Dr. Ahsan is calling you! Some new case has come up and he wants you to assist!"

She informed me while taking her bag from the table.

"Aur ek baat bata.... subha se kam kar rhi ha... thak nahi gai? Aur na hi kuch khaya ha tune. Jaldi se Dr. Ahsan ki baat sun k aa ja cafe mai I am waiting. "

"Nahi ifu! Mood nhi hai. Tu kha lay. " I said while standing up.

"Ooo madam! Ye dramay kisi aur ko ja k dikhana. Just come quick. " she showed me her hand and then went away.

Yeah! I cried whole night and came here at 6. He wasn't in the room then.

I least care.

I also asked for my night shift today and from there zuhaib would pick me up.

I just want sometime alone to sort out this and to forget that drama.

I moved towards his cabin and continued with the work rather than thinking of that IDIOT!

----------

"Beta....sab thek hai na.... yu achanak aa gai tum..."

Uffff mama and her questions!

I smiled ...a fake one ...

And put my head on her lap. We were sitting in my room. It was morning. I just came home by the night duty.

"Array meri shakki maa! Kuch nahi hua. I .... I was just missing my mom. Ab bhala ap e milne bhi nhi aa sakti?

Aur aunty ko bata k ai hun. Fikar not. "

Yeah I told aunty that I would be at baba's place for few days. She didn't knew about the fight and I didn't even told her. She would get tensed.

"Achaa chal ab soo ja! Saari raat ki thak gai ho gi na...." mama started to run fingers in my hair.

Nothing can be more relaxing then a mother 's lap.

Woh kehty han na,

Shart lagi thi dunya ko rk lafaz ma likhne ki,

Sab kitabai dhondty rahy aur mane lafaz 'maa' likh dia....

I smiled and didn't know when I dosed off.

------------

Its been three days since she has gone.

Mom told me that she went to her mother's house.

I sat on the bed. These three days and four nights have been a complete stress for me.

Plus this headache isn't leaving me. Even after medicines.

Biwi ka haq sirf us k jisam par nahi jitaya jata Mr. Sheharyar Ali!

Mai har mushkil waqat k liye ap k sath khare hone ko tayar thi Sheharyar! Ap ne mujhe itna kuch kaha.... lalchi, batameez aur na jaane kaisy kaisy elzam lagaye! I didn't said a word. I just let my love win your heart!

I feel disgust of you Mr. So called Sheharyar Ali!

Her words still rang in my ears.

I couldn't sleep properly.

Every time I lay on the bed to sleep, the voice of her bangles, the silkiness of her hair..... I miss them...

Whenever I sit to work on laptop....

Her coffee is what comes up in my mind.

I took hold of my hair.

I couldn't handle this stress.....arregghh

"Sherry! You alright?" Haarib came into the room.

He knows everything.

"Bhai mere! Please tell me what should I do?"

"Hosla Sheharyar! I ll do something.but for now.... you should sleep. " He said.

----------

I carefully closed the door of his room.

Thank God he slept.

Itni bari galati kar di hai toh neend kaisy aa jati.

I dialed her number,

"Hello ifra! I need your help. "

I told her about the plan.

Then I dialed the most important person,

"Hey! You Gotta have to take your family out at dinner except your bhabi...."

----------

"Jee ammi! Woh ifra ai hai. Toh soha keh rahi k hum sab jaye dinner par she'll be with ifra. "

"Toh beta tum aur zuhaib chaly jao humai rehne do koi baat nahi. " aunty said.

I looked at ifra and she came forward.

"Array mummy jee! Do you think that I'll eat up your daughter in your absence?" She asked mockingly.

We all laughed.

"Nahi na! Toh you go and enjoy!

Hum dono dosto ko apni masti karne dai. "

"Han mama! Ap log jao. Wase bhi mera mood nahi bahir jane ka."

Soha said.

"Acha beta.... if you say so..."

Yuppy!

Round one cleared!

I texted haarib bhai!

----------

"Hum tum...... tig dag tig dag tig dag....

Ek kamre mai band hon.....

Aur chabii khoo jaye....." ifra sang this song after closing the door.

"Tum bhi na.... pagal" I smiled.

"Achaaaa...sunno naa...." she pouted

"Jee sunaooo naaaa...." I also pouted.

"Promise you'll not scold me after this..." she said.

I frowned, "what's going on ifu?"

"Icalledmyloverhere" she said in a row....

"What? What lover?" I asked confused.

"Jee lover! Woh tumhara haarib nahi hai ...woh mere peechy para hua...

Ab keh raha tha k tumhare ghar aye ga mujh se milne...." she explained.

"Ooohooo toh yeh baat hai. Hmmmmmm.... toh ab ap ne bahir ka banda phasa lia han...." I teased her...

"Nahi...aisi koi baa....."

The door bell ranged.

"I'll open it. " I ran towards the door.

I opened it and said, "aiye janab j....."

I words got stuck in my throat.

The person I have been avoiding since past week...

He was here.

Sheharyar was here....

----------

Ifra and haarib were in the lounge and I and Sheharyar were in drawing room.

"I am s...." he was about to say something when I stood up and was leaving when he hold my hand and said,

"Please soha! Give me a chance to explain myself!"

"chorai mera hath

And Explain! Kia explain kre gay ap?

Is baat ko kaisy justify karai gay what you were about to do that night?" I said.

"Soha I wasn't in my sense. I was just depressed. " he continued.

"Ohhhh! So aisa karty han ! Kal ko zuhaib bhi same ap k wali harqat kar k Alia se aa k kahy ga 'i wasn't in my senses' phir kia ap zuhaib ko maaf kar dai gay?" I asked while looking into his eyes.

He although look very pale, swallow eyes, round stuble which looked like he haven't shaved for long.

"Soha!" He said loudly.

"Waaoo! Apni behn par baat ai toh gussa aa gaya ap ko?

Itni toh ap ki ego neechy ai nahi k ek sorry bol dai.

Sheharyar jee! Itna yaad rakhiye ga k garor khuda ko pasand nahi."

I said with clearity.

"Soha! I am here to take you back. I am ashamed of my act and ... I hope it wouldn't happen again. Please...come with me. " he said and again hold my hand.

"Sheharyar....zara si bhi sharam baqi hai na ap mai toh chalai jaye yaha se....

Har baat par itni ego itna garor.

Kia? Koi doll hun mai? Jab chaha utha lia jab chaha rakh dia. " I said.

"Acha toh kia chahti ho tum? What should I do?" His ego was still the same. Ye kabhi nahi badlai gay.

"Kuch nhi! I just need time. Aur fikar na karai! Ap ko divorce nhi du gi. I have promised my family and I will fulfill it. Just for their sake...." I told him and he said okay and left.

I closed my eyes.

Allah inhai hidayat day!

---------

Everyone came back. And it was 12 at the night. I was in the room.

Thinking of our relationship....

My mobile rang and I picked up.

"Dr. Soha! Its an emergency in here and you need to report here asap." Jennifer informed me.

"But Jennifer I am off duty. Dr. Ifra is on duty today. " I told her.

"I know but dr. Ifra said that you need to be here its emergency. "

"Okay!" I hang up and wondered what would have happened.

~~~~~~~~~~