It was too much to handle.....

His words....

His actions....

His closeness....

What was he trying to do....

The song!

The lyrics....

'i have loved you from the start....'

He sang these words along with the song...

Does he really meant those words?

I don't know where I was going...

I was just walking with high pace.

With this Saree, running was difficult.

Thoughts clouded my mind and I was in my own world with the thoughts of our moments....

*

"Today I want a permission....

To kiss you..."

-----

"You are so fucking beautiful"

----

"You look stunningly gorgeous in this dress...."

----

"The next lines are for you..."

"Hold your breath because tonight will be the night when I'll fall for you over again...."

*

Why does my heart wants to believe what I was feeling....

But the reality would remains the same...

If he would have fallen for me it would be just attraction. Nobody could love a girl like me.... a girl with taint face....

A girl with a lots of rejection....

I don't wanna put my hopes high.

It would be just attraction and nothing else. He won't love me....

He can't...

With all my confused thoughts I was moving towards the seaside area.

I was feeling suffocated because of all thinking.

It was quite late I guess may be its around 2 a.m. Not much people were here. Only a few were. I walked towards the left were nobody could see me. I wanted sometime alone. I didn't even brought my mobile with me.

I was walking on the sand when my heels were not helping me to do so....

I bent down to remove my heels. While doing so, my eyes caught a view on the side.

I removed my heels and hold then in my hands and walked further towards the area that was restricted for people. There was a board written 'RESERVED'

And beyond that was a scenery that was breathtaking.

There were candles placed on sand that made a pathway like a road towards a hut. It wasn't an actual hut. It was just a small wooden floor with four strands of wood that holds whitish peach coloured silky piece of cloth. They were hung as if they were the curtains of that place.

Alots of candles were surrounding the area and the sea side made it a little more fascinating.

On whole, the place could be defined as a complete dream of every girl.

This must be arranged by someone for proposal.

I smiled.

I also had a lots of dreams of such kind of proposal or a gentleman bend on his knees asking me 'whether I would be his soul partner...'

But I let go of all the dreams as the harsh reality of this world came across me.

Only beautiful things survive and gets attention. Even a broken glass or a tained piece of decoration is also being replaced. Then how come people could live with a face like me.

It isn't there fault.... its mine....

I didn't knew I was crying untill a cold finger came in contact with my cheek and wiped the tear.

"So, my kitten have hidden here just to shed these piece of diamonds?"

It was Sheharyar.

How did he knew I was here?

I quickly adjusted and put myself together, back to being the happy soha again.

"I am not hidden and I am definitely not crying. Its just something got into my eyes and I was trying to get ride of it by bringing the tears. "

I smiled and explained something that wasn't even an explanation.

Shut your mouth up soha!

"So, lets go then?" He asked and I looked at the scene in front of me again and then nodded.

"Kisi ne bohat mehnat se tayar karwaya ho ga na yeh..." I was turning around when Sheharyar spoke and I frowned.

He doesn't like such things.... being clingy and doing such stuff wasn't his style.

"Hmm" I replied with hmm.... what else could I say.

"That couple must be lucky enough to propose each other..."

He was looking at the sight infront but his words were again becoming intense.

Why is he saying all this....

"Lets go...." he took hold of my hand and started moving.

Not backwards...

But forward.... towards that side which was all decorated.

"Sheharyar... nahi... yeh RESERVED hai...

We are not... allowed to go there... why are you...." I was blabbering because he wasn't stopping.

"Sheharyar! What if that couple came and it would be hell embarrassing.... and why are you smiling its not the time to smile. Just.... lets go back.... Sheharyar...."

He was just dragging me with him towards that area.

Ufff! Why are you so stubborn Sheharyar!

"If we won't have came here then who would have?"

He asked while stopping in front of the pathway that was made by candles.

I frowned at his statement.

No...this... cant... can't happen....

He... this... no....

"Y...you...di....didn't...." I asked disbelievingly

"I did..." he smirked and I didn't believe him.

He couldn't do this all.....

He didn't arranged this all....

He didn't....

I mean how could he....

Why would he... I....

"Hey! Relax! I arranged this all for a purpose if you let me do so...."

I looked up into his eyes.

I seriously was having a panic attack.

Whats coming next?

He put his hand forward for me to take it.

I looked up at his face that held so much satisfaction and relaxation. While my breathing and face must have shown him about mu condition right now.

I hesitantly put my left hand over his right one and he started to walk along the path between candles like this.

The silence was too much. Only the sound of wave was heard or the sound of my heart beat.

---------

She was more nervous than me....

I had followed her and thank God she herself came here. I just had to follow her.

She was deep in her thoughts of I don't know what but confusion was all written over her face.

When I told her that I did this all, her reaction was unbelievable. I smiled at her innocence.

Now that we are heading towards tht spot I had choosen to express my feelings, I was getting hell nervous.

We both stepped on the small wooden floor and I left her hand and opened the ribbons that hold the silk curtains. They fall freely and moved due to wind.

I then turned to look at my beauty who was getting nervous more and more and was twisting her fingers.

I moved towards her and placed a hand over her cold ones. Then I placed my left hand over face holding it firmly.

"Relax! I am not going to eat you. I just wanted to talk. "

I was also not aware of what's gonna happen next.... we'll end up only talking or something else....

But one thing I know for sure....

I would confess my feelings today....

Its now or never situation.

I moved a little closer to her and hold her face with both my hands and kissed her forehead. A little longer than usual.

Trying to get strength.

Yeah! She gives me strength and may be I could make her relax.

When I felt her relaxed I moved away.

"Soha! This marriage wasn't meant to be.... it was a sudden decision of my mother and I took it all as a deal or I should say just as a..... contract....or a burden..."

My tongue was feeling heavy just by saying those words....

My mind makes me want to kill myself just to think of those days....

Days of my ignorance....

Days of my rudeness....

Day of my regrets....

I took hold of her both hands and pinched closed my eyes with my head down. Not being able to even her eyes.

"Soha! Since childhood.... all I cared was about what makes my family happy. Their happiness.... their needs.... their wishes were my comand... although mom and alia took care of me too but I always hide it from them.... hide my emotions just to assure them I am happy enough...."

I took a deep breath....

"Then you came.... "

I squeezed her hands a little to assure that I was bringing her attention to my words....

"Initially, I just wanted to get rid of you because of my own anger and thoughts....

But then your all time attention made me wonder of why do you care so much.....

When you made the coffee for me, I swear I had never had a better coffee than that before....

I always become angry at you and say those filthy words just to make my anger subside.

Then, after my idiotic act you still gave me a chance....

You were always there for me....

Always there for a person who hurt you so badly....

Your love and care changed me soha....

You won...."

I chuckled and interwinged our fingers.

Her hands were so fragile over mine.

I stayed silent for a moment.... searching for the words to say but I guess my mind went on vacations.

Wind was a bit cold due to seaside or may be our moment was so intense to make it feel cold over our heated up bodies.

I again place my forehead over hers...

To have strength....

I don't know but I really get courage by doing this little act.

In all this ,while I was speaking.... she was quite.... seems like eternity of not listening her voice.

I then said the words that were wondering over my mind since I don't know when.....

I just wanted to say this.... this is now or never....

I placed her hands over my face with my hands above hers.

I know she was crying. I could feel her with even my closed eyes.

"Soha! I have stopped myself alot...

I AM A BEAST.... life... with me.... its difficult.... I know that.... I don't have control over myself.... but I do love my beloved ones more than myself. "

I took a deep breath.

"Soha! I didn't knew the meaning of life before you came.... I was just surviving.... whats its called to be LIVING wasn't what I was aware of....

Life could also be beautiful is only taught to me by you.... soha I hate to admit it but .... You are becoming my weakness... You are affecting me so hell much..... You are attracting me. "

" Love doesn't need words to be shown,

But words are needed to feel it in your soul.

So I am speaking the love i feel"

I felt the sudden firm hold of hers. I kept my eyes closed and said what was meant to be said a long ago.

"Every brat needs a master for performing well.... Every beast needs a beauty for its survival.

Soha! I wanted to give this relationship a chance... more than being a friend.... Could you be my beauty? "

I haven't spoke this long ever....

I don't know from where these words came and slipped out of my mouth....

I just knew that I have to say what was going in my mind or otherwise I would have gone mad by now.

Saying it all what I felt, made me relaxed. Really relaxed.

I left her hands but she still hold my face with her hands without my support. I took hold of her face and made her see upwards at me. But she refused to do so...

Still looking down, she finally spoke,

"You....yo...you really have a way with the w...words .." she laughed with tears scrolling down her cheeks.

I didn't let them fall. I wiped them with my thumb.

"So its a yes....or...." I left the sentence hanging without completing it.

"You would not back off in this relationship ever?" She asked and I shook my head as NO and said

"Never..."

"You will be there for me always?"

"Always..."

"My reality or my appearance doesn't matter to you? I.... I am not perfect for y..."

"Don't you dare say those words again.... who said that I love someone by appearance....I didn't fall for charms and beauty. Soul and hearts are what meant to be loved....

And I love you.... whatever your appearance be.... I don't care. "

She smiled with tears.

I then again asked

"So.... may I take it as a yes?"

She shook her head first as NO and I frowned. I backed off and confusingly saw her. Is she serious or pretending?

"Propose kar rahy han toh zara achay say karai. " she wiped her tears and smiled a wider.

I confusingly frowned and she signalled me to bend down over my knees.

I smirked.

Baby you are stuck in a non ending cage.....

And you have asked it for....

I smiled and bend down over my one knee and placed right hand in front of her and took out a diamond ring that I had bought for this moment. It was simple yet elegant.

Just the way she likes.

She gasped as if she was shocked of my sudden action.

"Will you listen to my angry taunts and may scold me of my wrong decisions and be there in all the times I need you.... Will you be my soul partner for the rest of my life?"

She make a face of thinking and I shook my head....

Just few seconds more soha and you will regret making me wait for this long....

"Will you bring me icecream whenever I want? And will you stay up whole night to watch movies with me..... and will you not scold me for my childish behaviour and will you...." she started her blabbering and I couldn't hold it anymore.

I took hold of her hand and slide the ring in it.

"Wha...." she was confused of my sudden action and was about to say something when I did what I was waiting for....

I stood up and took hold of her waist, bringing her closer and just shut her mouth with my lips before saying,

"A proposal isn't complete without this...."

--------

I wasn't out of his all the speech which was too way impressive or I must say.... he really have a way with the words.

I was still at the thoughts of his words when he stood up and stand straight and pulled me closer by my waist.

"A proposal isn't complete without this....."

And then I felt like a new boost of feelings was injected in me....

An electric shock ran through my spin and my body wasn't of my own when his lips came in contact with mine...

Butterflies was what I could feel ...

I knew this was coming and I had prepared myself but still, the moment was beyond my thoughts....

Beyond the words to be expressed....

Beyond the world to know.....

Beyond everything in the world ....

His each move was slow and sensitive...

As if he was saviouring the moment....

His hold and his actions were a final stamp of his promises he just made..

I didn't protest....

I gave in the moment....

His touch was becoming more intense and I couldn't hold it anymore....

If it wasn't his hand on my waist, I would have fallen down because of this euphoria....

He deepened the kiss while bringing me close enough, if it was even possible....

His lips were demanding and I was reading to give up....

The moment itself was desirable....

Desires of what we had for each other....

Desires of what we both were fighting ....

Desires of love..... the LOVE that I craved for and the LOVE that he was asking for....

We both were panting out of breath when he moved away but not so much....

Just enough to leave my lips but still close enough to feel them....

"Was it your lipstick or your lips...whatever it was....

It was so hell ....amazing....."

He still have courage to speak while I just wanted to hide in somewhere because of shyness....

"Hey!...." he took hold of my chin and made me look up.

"There is nothing to feel shy about...."

I still wasn't convinced...

WE JUST KISSED!

I MEAN.... LIKE... ITS... EMBARRASSING....NO ITS...JUST.... SHYNESS...

I moved away and turned around when he took hold of my drape of saree not letting me move a bit even....

Aj itna romance kaha se aa gaya in mai....

"Chor do aj ye parda meri jaan ab toh....

K aj sirf hum han nahi koi aur...

Shab e vasal bhi ha...

Par hijab is qadar kiu...

Zara rukh k anjal hata kar toh dekho...."

He said in a husky tone, making me shudder because of his hand over my neck, removing hair from my back.

I closed my eyes.

He surely will give me a heart attack tonight by his actions....

He removed and put all my hair to a side, having a clear view of my back. My shoulder on which my drape of saree was, it was exposed and he came closer and closer.... and closer...

He bite at my ear lobe and whispered,

"I have the right?"

His question was more like a statement than a question...

I knew exactly what he was asking for and I don't know what do say....

I just didn't responded.

I was trapped in never ending cage....

My body was hyperactive of his every touch and his every word...

But my mind was tired of concentrating....

On his words near my ear....

On his lips kissing my neck....

On his hand around my waist....

On his other hand that was round my stomach to hold me back towards his front.

I gave up in the moment....

I forgot all my senses and my heart take over the work of my brain....

And all I could do was...FEEL....

Feel of what I had never felt before....

Feel of what every girl craved for....

Feel of my LOVE....

Feel of HIS love ...

Feel of his actions....

Feel of what this moment was....

Feel of what this meant....

Feel of what was meant to be felt right at this moment....

Feel was all that clouded us....

In this night of LOVE....FEELS.... and DESIRES.....