《Zindagi Ka Safar ( The Journey Of Life)》Chapter 46: Vulnerable State
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Why aren't you leaving me?
Just leave me or just come back....
"Soha?" I looked up as she was standing at the doorway.
"You came back? You left me yesterday too..." I complained while standing up and hugging her.
"Just... never... never leave me... it's.... it's killing me. " I cried while hugging her tightly.
I won't let her go this time.
"I am here Sheharyar! Always with you. " she smiled and palmed my face with her soft hands.
"I.... I am sorry... I ... didn't killed my baby...I..." I was so vulnerable right now. Tears continuously falling and I couldn't think straight.
She kissed my forehead and made me sit on the bed. I then placed my head in her lap and she started to stroke my hairs. This is so relaxing.
"Soha .... tum.... mujhe.....mujhe chor kar to nahi jao gi na... soha ... mai...maafi bhi mang raha hun na aur ye sab... " I looked all-around the room that had pictures of babies and a large frame of mine and soha with so many toys.
"Soha hamara bacha wapis...wapis aa jaye ga na... mane us se bhi maafi mangni hai mujhe...."
"Sheharyar?" Haarib's voice echoed through the room.
He was looking at me strangely.
I smiled and ran towards him.
"Dekh haarib... dekh mai kehta tha na meri soha mujhe chor kar nahi jaye gi... she is back woh dek...." I words were stuck in my throat as the illusion of soha again faded.
"No..noooo...nooo..." I ran towards the bed but she faded.
"Bhai... soha yaha nahi hai.... ap.... "
"Leave me! Dafa ho jao yaha se....
Tumhare ane ki wajah se woh dar k chali gai. JUST GO AWAY!"
I yanked my hand out of his grip and took the pack of cigarette. When I opened it was empty.
No more cigarettes?
"Bhai? Ye lain" haarib extended his hand and gave me the new pack.
I took it without resistant and turned my back towards him.
"Mr. Ashton ki call ai thi... he wants you to be the head of his project and not me. " he said while standing beside me.
"It's not possible tujhe jo sahi lagta ha woh kar aur tu hi handle kr sab. I don't care. " I lit the cigarette and smoked.
"Sherry tu kab tak is band kamre mai baitha rahy ga? Leave this all and move on! Ye jo company saalo ki mehnat kar k banai ha tune ab is ko kiu crises ma dal raha ha? Everyone wants the boss! And I can't be the boss. "
He was continuously speaking while deep in my thoughts always her voice rang.
"Bhai? Tu thek to han na?" He asked while putting his hand over my shoulder.
I pushed his hand away and walked towards the pictures that were placed on the table.
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The pictures of little baby....
The picture of US....
The pictures of our moments....
"Zindagi kitni ajeeb hoti ha na yaar!
Jab ap k pas koi cheez ho toh ap ko us ki qadar nahi hoti.... bas us cheez mai chupi khamiya hi nazar ati han..."
I took the frame of my and soha's picture that she took on our honeymoon and caressed her face on the picture.
"Aur jab woh cheez hum se cheen jati hai toh us ki kami is tarha mehsos hoti hai jaisay wohi humari zindagi thi...humari zid...humari jeene ki wajah...humara sab kuch...
Aisa kiu hota ha haarib... ap zinda to hoty ho par jeena bhol jaty ho..."
A tear escaped from my eye as I puffed a mouth full of cigarette but suddenly I started coughing so hard.
--------
"Sherry... tu thek.. thek to ha na... idhar dekh idh..." my words got stuck as I saw his hands that had blood on them.
Then I saw his face and his lips also had blood. He again have coughed blood.
"Kitni dafa kaha hai tujhe! Ek dafa sath chal mere doctor ko dikha lay ye khoon... yeh sahi nahi ha sehat k liye... tu kiu nahi samajh raha." I placed him on the couch after cleaning his lips and hands.
He chuckled and looked at my face. Then he shook his head and then said,
"You know Sometimes people just give up...
Not because they don't love the other
But because its eating away the love they have for themselves..."
He stopped after saying this then he let out a deep breath.
"You have pushed her against her limits sherry.... woh ab kabhi wapis nahi aye gi...." I whispered lowly.
I didn't wanted to hurt him but he have hurt himself beyond repair.
His healing is only her care.
And her healing is only by his words.
"Kiu wapis nahi aye gi?
Mai usay maafi mangu ga ma....
Haarib mai nahi reh sakta us k bagair...mai... m....aahhhh..." he hold his head tightly in his hands.
"Sheharyar.... Sheharyar? Kia hua hai... " I tried to hold him but he tightly hold his head.
"This headache... its...its killing me please make...make this go away..." he cried and I searched for his medicines.
Kabhi ye insan khud apni medicines time par nahi le ga!
"Sherry... here...have these... " I put the tablet in his mouth and made him drink water.
After sometime he dozed off to sleep.
I made him lay on the bed and put the comfort on him.
He looked so vulnerable and exhausted.
A man like him and being in such state.
Its hell difficult for him I know but this is what he have asked for.
I looked around the room and it was just as mess as his life was right now.
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Nothing was in its place.
I have to get this all.... I have to help him.
Shayad in k piyar ka badla yu hi chuka saku.
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"Mai to itniiii sari chocolates aur ballons aur cake lai thi apne boyfriend k liye..... ab woh to mujh se naraz hai toh ye sab kis ko du?" I sat on the grass in front of yahya who wasn't talking to me because I didn't came to meet him for long.
Was struck in life!
"Apne husband ko de do. Mujhe nahi chahiye!" He folded his hands over his chest and pouted.
I smiled and looked towards ifra who was standing at a distance and rolled her eyes.
I smiled and placed all the chocolates on the ground and cake too.
"Toh mai toh itna piyara tayar ho k ai thi apne boyfriend k liye.... ab mai bhi naraz hun apne boyfriend se. Woh mujh se baat hi nahi karta. " I also folded my hands and made same face as his.
He looked my way but I turned my face away.
"Tum ab wapis to nahi jao gi na apne ganday husband k pas?" He peaked and narrowed his eyes at me.
I smiled but hide it and faked an anger.
"Mera husband bhi ganda hai aur mera boyfriend bhi. Mujhe kisi se bhi baat nahi karni. " I turned my face.
I saw him coming near me but I made my expressions same.
He stood in front of me and made an innocent face. He then hold his ears and said,
"Sorry.... mai ganda nahi hun... tumhara husband ganda hai mai toh acha hun na..." I smiled and also hold my ears.
"And I am sorry k mai ap se milne nahi aa saki. Ab mai kabhi nahi chor k jao gi ap ko. Happy?" I smiled and he bend down and hugged me.
I kissed his head and hugged him back.
He then sat in my lap and said
"Tumhay pata hai ye jo ifra hai na ye bhi bht gandi hai. Tumhari tarha bilkl bhi nahi hai. Pagal!" He whispered and I laughed.
Ifra was fuming with anger beside me and I laughed.
"Achaa aur kon acha hai meri tarha?" I asked.
"Woh waly uncle jinho ne is massi ko 'i love you' bola tha aur in ko itni bhi aqal nahi thi k jawab mai 'i love you too' bolty han. " yahya spoke in his childish language and then put his hand on his forehead.
I laughed and ifra came.
"Kahi se lagta ha k ye larka 6 saal ha chota bacha hai?" She tried to pull hi ear but he jumped and hide in my arms.
I laughed.
"So ap haarib ki baat kar rahy ho?" I asked him.
"Han aur woh na ... mere friend bhi han. Hamesha mere se milne aty han. " I smiled while he was eating the chocolates.
"Aur mujhe shikayat mili hai k ap sab bacho ko tang karty ho. Aisa kiu?" I asked.
"Woh mai to tang nahi karta... woh amna hai na piyari wali larki. Us ko woh ganda talha mar raha tha aur us k toys bhi nahu de raha tha us ko ...toh... toh mane bas thora sa danta ussay. " he made the puppy eyes and I shook my head.
Sharat ka pura package hai ye!
"Danta ya mara bhi?" I asked.
He actually got into a serious fight and this wasn't good.
"Han...woh... mara... thora sa..." he lowered his eyes.
I pulled his face my his chin.
"Meri jaan! Is tarha gussa aur jaldi se marna sab ko....its not right na... ab dekho talha ko kitna dard ho raha ho ga na.... aisay gussay mai aa k koi bhi kam nahi karty.."
Anger is what makes a man blind of what he is doing.
He doesn't sees what or who is in front of him.
"Par woh agar dosro ko tang kare toh?"
"Toh ap ja k madam ko bataya karo ya mujhe bata dia karo. Khud aisay nahi karty. Promise me you will apologize to him and won't do such things again. " I extended my hand.
"Promise" he shaked hand and then screamed.
"My buuudddyyyy" and then he ran out of my lap towards the gate.
I turned around to see who it was and surely who else.
Haarib.
"Hey buddy! What's up?" Haarib swang him in air and then all the kids ran towards him.
"Pata hai meri girlfriend aa gai ha aj dekho. " he smiled like he have won some kind of victory and signalled towards me.
Haarib then whispered something in his ear and he first got angry and then frowned and then smiled and nodded as 'yes'
Haarib walked towards me and ifra.
"Ye kia ho raha tha waha?" Ifra asked and I stood up.
"Kuch nahi. Yahya wants to say something to his girlfriend. " haarib exclaimed and I smiled.
Ab kia kehna ha is chotay shaitan ne?
"Jee bolo. " I asked.
"Tum mujh se piyar karti ho na?" Yahya asked and I smiled.
"Han booohaaattt ziyada. " I smiled.
"Tum meri sari baatai mano gi na ?" He asked
I nodded.
But he frowned and shook his head as 'no' looking towards haarib.
Haarib again whispered in his ear.
"Ek kam karo gi mera phir?" Yahya asked.
"Han bolo..."
Something was fishy...
"Mane bhi toh talha ko maaf kar dia..." he was trying to find words.
"Han to..."
His next words made me surprised.
"Tum bhi apne husband ko maaf kar do na."
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