One week. One week since I was in Louis' flat, wanting so bad to be kissed and touched. One week since I told him to leave me alone. Besides that Saturday that Shane had invited him around, the only time I've seen him was in our lectures. Even then, he never uttered a word, and I just gazed ahead until each class was over. My nerves only slightly began to settle as the days went by.

While walking out of the last lecture of the week, my phone starts to ring. I lift it to my ear without glancing at the screen, steering clear of the busy hall. "Hello?"

"Megs, your last lecture is near the gym. Care to bring me some water? I know you keep a couple in your bag," Shane asks with a hint of a chuckle. I deadpan as if he could see.

"Why would I want to waste my time doing that?" I tease with a slight twitch of my nose.

"Fuck off," he snorts, humour heard in his tone. I roll my eyes with the tiniest smile playing on my lips.

"I'll be right there," I sigh. I end the call and turn around to make my way toward the fitness centre. One stop, and I'll be on my way to Aroma Cafe to hide in a corner with a coffee and my book. Hopefully, for the rest of the night. I'm not in the mood for another campus party.

I make my way into the familiar gym I have been in multiple times since our first year here. I take a bottle out of my bag, listening to the sound of a weight dropping to the floor. My head lifts, and my mouth goes dry as those tattooed arms are the first to catch my attention. The way those arms flex and those tattoos move the moment they relax as he sets down a weight. His back is to me, unaware of my presence, and my throat has hardened. He starts to pull the grey shirt off and over his head, and I am losing my breath.

"You are the best," Shane makes my heart jump out of my chest, suddenly before me. I'm thrown off and stricken with worry that he caught me staring. Although he appears oblivious, taking the bottle from my hand and twisting the cap off. I smile weakly at my blonde friend, watching him guzzle the drink. He lowers the bottle before wiping the beads of sweat off his forehead. "I'm going to run off to the loo. I'll see you tonight. Thank you," he gestures to me goodbye before making his way to the bathrooms at the end of this large room filled with workout equipment.

My eyes instinctively fall back on Louis, my body stilling as his eyes are now on me as he pulls a new shirt on, covering his hardened body with the black cloth. One last look at that v-line that disappears into his pants, and my god, I need to stop. Now I'm caught, and my cheeks flare up. Some of my loose waves are luckily covering parts of my cheeks, possibly disguising my embarrassment. I turn and leave, blowing out slowly. Just imagining those strong arms wrapped around me and my hands feeling his toned body brings an ache to my body.

My god, he could end me. That is exactly why he needs to stay away. I pushed him away, and that was for the best mentally. Although, speaking in a physical sense, being with him would be heaven. Correction, that night was heavenly.

"Wait," a voice distracts me from behind before I have a fair chance at escaping—his voice. Nerves dwindle in the pit of my stomach, and I reluctantly spin to face him. He's now just a foot or two away, his blue eyes trailing over me briefly. I hum, his eyes locking with mine.

"I know you don't want to talk to me and all, but what the hell are we going to do for the project?" he asks lowly. Realisation takes over me, smashing my stomach into bits. I screwed myself over with that one. "Can't exactly change partners now," he mutters.

"Well, we're supposed to read two separate books to compare and contrast them. You read one, and I read the other, write notes about yours, and I'll write the report with our names on it. I don't care. Simple as that," I state quietly, attempting to keep some distance between us. He has the slightest hint of a frown, and those blue eyes appear more grey now. "I'll see you in lecture," I mumble and turn to split away from him. Is it wrong that putting the wedge between us makes me feel a little guilty? Walking away, all I can picture myself doing is running my hands and lips over his tattooed arms. What the hell is wrong with me?

Eight at night, and I'm frustrated. Instead of being able to hide out with my book, I'm at a party I didn't want to attend. I'm in a black dress with long sleeves, despite it being so hot in this room. The red cup Ali had placed in my hand was already taken by Josh and gulped down by him. This sucks. I can't drink, and I'm just stuck by his side like some showpiece while he gets to enjoy everything.

He laughs about something, the sound booming over the loud music while holding another cup in hand. My arms are over my chest, and I'm lost in a daze. Ali distracts me, coming up to us. "Is Louis coming tonight?" she asks with high hopes. My heart stops until Shane is heard behind me, "I don't know. He said he wasn't in the mood, might even have plans with someone."

Oh, thank god. I thought she was asking me as if she knew about what happened last week. She frowns in disappointment and toys with her black dress.

"Not like he fucking drinks anyways. What the hell is that?" Josh snorts, making fun of him. I bite the inside of my cheek and look down, my waves falling slightly over my shoulder.

"Shut up. He has his reasons. Not like he's a prude," Shane retorts with a hint of a laugh.

"You're just so far up his ass for some reason. He's only been around the group because of you," Josh teases back.

"I like him around," Ali notes a little. I am pinching my arm and gazing blankly ahead at the drunken bodies dancing to the music.

"Sorry to break it to you, Al. He's clearly into someone else. He's probably with her again tonight. He did mention some girl named Amelia visiting, which I guess is the one he's into," Shane answers back, more genuine than joking around. My insides begin to tighten. She's able to look disappointed, but I can't show it at all. I feel sick to my stomach; I don't know why. I'm the one that pushed him away.

"Megs," someone else distracts me. Hannah appears before me with her blonde hair gently curled and a short, red dress on. She looks flirty, all intending to attract that guy from last week. "Ali. Both of you," she grasps my arm and Ali's, splitting us away from Josh and Shane, Josh's hand leaving my hip. I glance back to see his eyes hardened on us, not happy that I'm leaving his side. He won't say anything, though. Not in front of them. "We need a round of shots to celebrate me finally getting Ben's number," Hannah boasts.

"Oh my god," Ali and I both breathe out simultaneously as she lets out a small squeal.

"Did you ask, or did he?" I instantly ask, just as we reach the island.

"He did. He came up to me first and apologised for your idiot boyfriend ruining our conversation last week," she giggles, letting my arm go to grab some cups. "So maybe I should thank Josh instead of bashing him," she admits with a twitch of her nose.

"No need to boost his ego," I mutter. Hannah laughs as if it's a joke, but I wasn't kidding.

"You're about to be in a relationship, Megan is in a long-term relationship, and I have no one. Of course, the guy I like is apparently into some other girl and may even be with her," Ali scoffs. "I'm so happy for you, though," she quickly adds. The air is drained from my lungs, knowing exactly who she's talking about. The guy that we both like, even if it is incredibly wrong.

"Who?" Hannah asks, her face laced with confusion. Ali, being the flirt she is, could be talking about anyone that may pique her interest, but it's clear as day him.

"Louis," she answers, proving me right. Hannah's face falters, and she barely gives me a look, probably to note my reaction. My throat is hard, and I grab the red cup from the island. "He literally is the most breathtaking person I have ever laid my eyes on. God, what I would do for one night with him at least."

"Ali, that's not a good idea," Hannah starts, hesitant behind her words. She's backing me up. She knows what happened at that beach, and she wasn't happy that I had been with him at all, but she's cautious that I'll be upset, and it's clear as day.

"Why not?" Ali furrows her eyebrows together. Hannah stammers, and my heart is going spastic in my chest. I am practically clawing at the arm that is holding the drink as she looks between the two of us.

"I don't see the problem in it," I breathe out slowly. Ali visibly relaxes, and Hannah throws me an odd look. "Anyways, cheers to Hannah," I change the topic, holding the cup up. They cave and cheers, moving away from the topic of Louis Townsend. I tip the cup to my lips, downing the shot that burns so bad, and my body repulses with a shiver. Disgusting.

"Mind if I take her back?" Josh is heard behind me, and I can feel the burn in my belly. Maybe it's the shot I feel or an awful feeling after hearing his voice.

"You suck," Hannah laughs it off before waving us off. My heart sinks as he takes the cup from my hand and sets it on the wooden island before pulling me away. Only his grip on my arm is tight, and he is taking me right towards the exit. My heart is no longer beating in my chest.

"Wait, where are we going?" I ask frantically, taking a look back. They are no longer in sight, my view blocked by different people. He takes me outside without a word, the cool wind feeling drastically colder after being inside. He looks around, and I am beyond wary.

"What the fuck was that?" he seethes, making me face him. His eyes are boring into mine, and even my lungs are tight.

"What? I didn't do anything," I become defensive, my voice rising in pitch.

"You can't just fucking walk away and take a shot, looking like that. Guys will take advantage of you," he snaps, that famous vein of his bulging above his brow.

"It was one shot to celebrate my best friend. That won't do anything when you won't even let me drink anything else. I have more clothes on than any girl at that party. Why did you drag me here in the first place if you're going to worry about that when all I wanted to do was be alone tonight?" I freak out, a lack of confidence shown in my voice.

I rip my arm away and turn to leave. Only he grabs a fistful of my hair, and I lose my breath as a sharp pain radiates over my scalp. He's forcing me to face him once more, his hand still in my hair, and I let out a whimper of a sound. I hate this. I hate this so much. I want to shave all of my hair off so he can never pull it again. Tears are blurring my vision, and I can't even put up a fight. "Disrespect me one more time," he threatens with a menacing scowl and my bottom lip trembles. He only lets go as the door to the party opens.

"There you two are," Derek speaks up. My eyes lower to the ground, and I try my best not to cradle my head or my aching neck. "Are you two alright?"

"Just talking. She's going back to the dorm, and I was bidding her off," Josh lies through his teeth. I don't bother to look up. Years around my friends and none of them notice anything, ever. I don't want to look him in the eyes and fall apart even more so.

"But," Derek starts.

"Goodnight," I barely get out before turning away from them. He grabs my arm, and I feel weak. I turn back to face Josh and mumble those three words I no longer mean before just barely kissing him. The words I love you feel like such an empty promise. I slip away and walk off quickly, needing to get away from him.

I wish I never had to say I love you again.

I want to scream and cry, but it's not like I have my house to myself. I live on campus with others in this dorm building. The next thing I need is for them to call emergency services, thinking something is wrong. The only thing I can do is grab my book from my room, hideaway to read, and escape this life.

I could honestly drive off somewhere as well, but I'm an emotional mess that will probably end up in a motor vehicle accident.

I find myself at Aroma Cafe with my book in hand and money in the other. The barista gives me a weary look, curious as to why I have tear-stained cheeks. I minimise eye contact and keep my head down, my heart heavy in my chest. I finally get a drink in hand and take a seat in the corner, but I'm unable to do much more than that. Instead of opening my book or taking a sip of my coffee, my hands cover my face, and I let out a shaky, unstable breath. I hate this life.