My stomach is tied up as I let myself into the dorm room. Hannah went out to meet Ben and Josh decided to walk me back. These nerves are consuming me, making it difficult to think straight or breathe. He's pissed. He's been pissed since I tried to get back at him with that remark about blue eyes, even after I tried to make up for it. He hid it well in front of the others, but the moment we ended up alone, he closed himself off. I already know what is about to come.

I get into my dorm room and attempt to block his way, to bid him goodnight at the door. "Thanks for walking me back," I state lowly, trying to keep him from stepping in further. He doesn't care, pushing at the door enough to make his way in before coming inside. My heart is in my stomach, and I hesitantly shut the door.

Josh's jaw is tight as he stares at me with a sharp glare. My skin is crawling, and my arms cross tightly over my chest in an attempt to comfort myself somehow, someway. He steps closer, looming over me. He's the predator, and I'm the prey, just waiting for him to lash out. I should have never left the others. Hell, even if I stayed the night with him at the flat, the two guys would be there to protect me unknowingly.

"Keep challenging me. Embarrass me again, in front of my friends," he seethes out, threatening me.

"Our friends," I remind him in a weak voice.

There's a sudden sting on my cheek, and I let out a gasp of a sound, cradling my face. Tears pool into my eyes, and all the air has escaped my lungs. He hit me. I told Louis that he had never done such a thing, and he hit me as if he knew. I'm left stunned. My heart is on the floor, and this darkened energy is officially taking over.

I can't breathe. I can't think. I can't do this anymore. This isn't love, and it's never been. Josh walks out and slams the door shut. I need out. Out of here, away from him and away from my oblivious friends. I need out of this life.

I can't control myself. I am suddenly grabbing my black bag and shoving a random handful of clothes into the bag, along with my phone, wallet, and toothbrush. All thrown in, and I go to grab my car keys. Only a shaky breath escapes me as I stare down at the keys.

Where the hell am I even going to go?

My friends all live here on campus. He knows where Ali stays, Shane and Derek are in the same flat as him, and obviously, Hannah stays in this very room. I can't go home. My parents and Jason will only question why I ran from uni, and I'll be forced to tell them what had happened, and that alone is terrifying. It felt as if demons were about to unleash terror on me just for telling Louis alone.

Louis.

He knows, but I don't want to burden him.

But he knows.

Maybe I should just get in my car and drive. Somewhere. Anywhere. Then I'll get into an accident because it will be hard to focus on driving. Maybe I shouldn't.

God, I don't know what to do. My hands are covering my face, and a shaky breath escapes me. What did I get myself into? Why did I let it get this far? This darkness will end me one day. I can just feel it. I can't imagine myself getting far in life. I'll be gone before I know it because of him. It was just a slap, but slowly this situation is worsening, progressing too much into something I don't want. A slap will be nothing one day, and I'm terrified of that. I was convinced that he wouldn't even get to this point. All because I mentioned liking blue eyes.

Louis. He's my only option, at least for now. I'm not running away. I just don't want to be around tomorrow to get the blunt end of Josh's attitude. Then lectures will happen Monday, and I have an excuse to be busy the remainder of the week.

I grab a piece of paper from my desk and quickly scribble out a note to Hannah, lying that I'm going to be at Jason's until Monday. She won't text him to ask. They're close to each other, him calling her another sister after all these years, but not close enough for daily updates. If I can't stay with Louis, maybe I'll actually go to visit him and figure out some excuse on the way. I'm exhausting my options, but it's only temporary.

I drop the note onto her bed, gazing at the wet spot from these tears slipping down my cheeks. I hope it dries by the time she returns. I don't want her questioning why I'm crying. As far as she knows, I'm just making an innocent, little trip to Jason's.

I hurry out of the dorm, needing to escape. This dorm room has seen more violence than anything, slowly built violence over the years. These walls have hidden my depression so well that Hannah doesn't even know. I wish I just lived at home still and attended something closer. A different uni with different people. Different friends and, better yet, no boyfriend.

Before I know it, I'm on the fifteenth floor of Louis' building and am barely breathing. This anxiety is taking a massive toll on me. I hesitate before knocking, my hand slightly trembling. Finn is heard barking on the other side, and I feel nauseous. Oh god, I should just leave before the door opens.

I almost start to walk away when the door flies open. I freeze entirely as Jace's eyes meet mine. He's in a black tee and grey sweats, his black hair slightly messy. I know who he is, and he's clueless about who I am. "You're the girl from last week," he starts, thrown off. My stomach dips, and I swallow. "Louis," he calls out, and I bite down on the inside of my cheek. He opens the door further without questioning much more, and Finn takes the chance to sneak around him and approach me.

He greets me with a wag of a tail, whimpering away. Jace's face falters by his dog's interaction before mumbling something incoherently. "What?" Louis is heard before Jace moves aside. He's still in the same clothes as earlier, and concern laces immediately in his eyebrows.

"I'll give you guys a moment. Finn, come on," Jace takes Finn's collar and pulls him away. Louis looks at his roommate with his lips pressed together. It isn't until the door to his room is heard shutting that Louis steps forward. "What's wrong?"

"He, uh," I stammer with a flutter of my lashes. My eyes ache, bad. I'm desperately holding back any tears, but I'm sure the whites of my eyes are now red. "He hit me, for the first time, because of that comment I made about blue eyes earlier," I barely whisper, my breathing rigid. Out of shock, his lips part for just a moment, but his eyes are quickly hard and dark in the way Josh gets when pissed.

"I'm going to," he starts, stopping the moment I desperately shake my head. "Megan," he breathes out.

"Don't do anything. Don't say anything to him. Just... don't. I'm already so," I stall, my trembling hand already giving away the words I cannot speak. "I didn't know what to do, and I wanted to get out of that dorm so I don't have to see him tomorrow. I can't go to any of my friends, and my parents and Jason will only ask questions if I suddenly go to them at this time of night. This is a lot to ask, and if you don't want me here, I'll just suck it up and find an excuse for randomly showing up at home this time of night. I just need to get away from him until lectures start on Monday, and I have an excuse to be away from him for the week."

"You can stay," he cuts me off. A shaky breath escapes me, and I want to wrap my arms around him and thank him. Except I can't move. "Let me just tell Jace," he moves away from the door, scratching the back of his neck. My insides are twisting and turning as I quietly shut the door. I can't help but listen quietly as Jace's door opens back up. Please don't tell him what's going on. Whatever the two say is incoherent. I place my bag beside the couch and nibble on my bottom lip.

My phone buzzes, and I take it out of my bag. Josh. A frown takes over my lips as Josh tells me he'll see me tomorrow at Aroma Cafe by noon. The place he knows I love to hide out at and read alone. Every Sunday, I'm there around that time. Unless something comes up, of course. I don't respond to him, knowing it will piss him off. I don't care. I turn off my phone, not wanting to deal with him texting me or calling me later to ask why I'm not responding.

"I'm going to get changed," Louis distracts me, standing by the kitchen. I nod with a weak smile before shoving my phone into my bag. Finn is back out, jumping onto the couch, his tail thumping against the furniture as he stays near me. I sit on the couch with a long sigh before finally giving him the attention he wants. I swear a numbness is eating away at my insides.

"I'm Jace, by the way," he suddenly introduces himself. My throat goes dry as I look up to him, seeing him now where Louis was. His eyes are on Finn, still looking taken back by his dog greeting me. "Just thought I'd introduce myself since you're staying the night," he clears his throat, his eyes meeting mine.

"Megan," I get out, my voice slightly straining. He barely nods, his eyes slightly narrowed as he studies me. I don't know how to respond, so I just focus on the dog happily greeting me. Jace gets closer, and I gulp.

"Can I ask you something?" he asks, his voice low. I hum, looking up at him. His tattooed arms cross over his chest, and he is closer. "Are you two seeing each other?" he whispers so low.

"What?" my voice dries out.

"Well, you were running out of here one night, and now you're staying the night instead of with any of your friends. He won't say a word about what happened last week. Are you two seeing each other?" he explains himself, carefully low so that Louis can't hear.

"No," I clear my throat a little, unable to explain anything else. He almost has a hint of a frown and just hums. He almost looks disappointed. "He's been hanging out with my friends. I actually met him at the Camber Sands over the Summer, and it was just a coincidence meeting again."

"You're the girl from the beach?" his face falls instantly, his lips parted as he gazes back at me. My heart stops in my chest, and I'm no longer petting Finn. So he has talked about me, it seems, but just about that night at the beach. I don't know how to respond to that, my heart now in my stomach.

"What are you doing?" Louis asks Jace, his tone sharp. Jace turns, and I can see Louis' eyebrow raised as he stares dead straight at him. He looks angry for some reason. I don't understand why. "Just introduced myself and was trying to get Finn away," Jace mutters, slightly off compared to before. "Finn, let's go," he calls. Finn turns from me and jots back towards the bedrooms. Louis' lips press together, and he waits for Jace to walk away. He's still in a black shirt but grey sweats now, much like his roommate. The door shuts, and Louis finally comes towards me, an odd tension drifting from him. It's not threatening, by any means, not in the way Josh gets.

"Did he say something to you?" Louis asks, sounding off.

"Not really. Just introduced himself and asked how we met," I mumble, moving my hair behind my ear. "I just mentioned meeting you at the beach".

"What?" his face drops completely. He's not happy about that. I don't get it, and it feels like there is something I'm missing. "You told him that."

"Is there a problem with that?" I ask, my arms instantly crossing over my chest.

"Well, he knows what happened. He practically pried it out of me that night that it did happen. I don't want him thinking anything else is happening between us," he lets out a disgruntled sigh, putting his hand in his hair.

"And Hannah knows what happened, despite me being with Josh," I remark lowly, with a pressure building up in my chest. Suddenly something clicks, and I let out a shaky breath. "Wait, you don't have a girlfriend, do you?" I whisper, my skin starting to pale. His eyes are sharp on mine, and his eyebrows furrow together. "If you have a girlfriend, I really shouldn't be here. I know it's already wrong because I'm with Josh, but I'm stuck in that relationship. I'm not screwing over someone else's-"

"I'm not in a relationship," he cuts me off, his voice so low. He's looking me dead straight in the eyes, and I can relax a little. He lets out a heavy sigh and screws his eyes shut. His hand is back in his hair, and his stress is clear as day. "It's complicated. I'm not talking about it. I don't want him thinking anything else has happened between us. As far as he knows, it was a one-time thing, and it's not happening again. Alright?"

My throat is hard. I don't want any of my friends to know because of Josh, but he's closed off for different reasons. I can't quite understand it. I want to know why.

"Okay," I barely whisper, really put off by this situation.

"Do you want to talk more about what happened with him?" he changes the topic.

"No," I state in a small voice. "Maybe we should just go to bed," I barely whisper, not wanting to talk any longer.

"Do you want to just sleep in my bed, and I'll sleep out here on the couch?" he throws me off. I half expected to go to bed with him. My lashes flutter a little. I don't know why I thought that. I don't know what I assumed coming into this, but he honestly doesn't want Jace to know a thing. He's putting some sort of divide between us with Jace around. I hate it.

Then again, I don't want to push any boundaries. Louis never had to offer me a place to stay at all. "I'll take the couch," I state in a small voice.

"Megan," he almost protests and shakes his head.

"You sleep in your bed, and I'll sleep here. I'm fine with it. You never had to say yes, to begin with. I put this burden on you out of nowhere, and I'm not kicking you out of your bed because of it. It doesn't matter," I refuse some more. He has the slightest hint of a frown, and I look away. "I'd like to sleep now if that's alright with you."

"I'll get you a pillow and blanket," he states, his tone now flat. He gets back up and walks away. My eyes skim over those tattooed arms that I silently had hoped I could be wrapped up in for the night.

He isn't mine, anyways. He was never mine, to begin with.

He returns with a white-knitted blanket and a pillow. I thank him softly, setting the pillow down on the arm of the couch. I wrap myself up into the blanket and let out a small sigh. His eyes are focused on me, more so grey instead of blue. It's almost that pitiful look he gave me in our lecture the other day. "Thank you again for this," I gaze back up at him, holding the blanket close.

"Let me know if you need anything. The remote is right there if you want it, and you can help yourself to the fridge if needed. You already know where the toilet is," he states. I nod, and he turns away, turning the light out for me. This living room is filled with darkness, with some of the light from the city pouring in through the windows. His door shuts, and I gaze out the window. I should have taken up his offer to talk because I now feel alone in this immaculate flat that lacks personalization. Alone to remember the way Josh hit me and all the other times he hurt me.