CHAPTER SONG - Ocean of You, Christine Parker

"So that was dinner." she said, a little out of breath and I couldn't exactly pin point if that was from the chaotic room we just stepped out of, or the overwhelming feelings she was still getting thought. So, I squeezed her hand and looked down at her. "Yeah, that's usual how it goes."

She tilted her head up, soft rimmed eyes with honey in them settled on me. "Always so..so.."

I chuckled at her lose for words. "Wild? Messy? Chaotic? Pretty much. We have never had a peaceful dinner. And I think they would be proud to know that they stunned you to the point that you can't speak."

She laughed, a sound so deeply euphoric that it seemed to bounce off the ocean and flow back into me. "I enjoyed it very much. It felt so alive, and real."

I took a big step forward, spinning around to face her. "You ready for a hundred more dinners just like that?" I asked, needed her to be apart of every single one. Now that I know what it's like to sit next to her, to feel her love and adoration for me, I can't go back. You might as well thrown me off this boat, and drown me if I have to go back to my life being so ordinary, and plain. I never thought of it that way, but now that she's coloring all over my mind, I can't go back. I can see color for the first time in my life, and oh fucken hell it's mind twisting.

She peered up at me, licking her lips and I zoned in on them. A rush of heat poured into my head and made it a little fuzzy. Every sway of the ocean rocked the boat, and rocked my mind to oblivion when she looked at me like that. "I can never be ready for that, but I want a hundred more." she answered, closing the damned gap between us and pulling up onto her tippy toes.

I smiled, palming the back of her thigh and pulling her upwards onto my body. I felt her inhale, and shiver under my touch but she wrapped her legs around me like it was exactly where she wanted to be. And then she smiled so wildly at me that I felt it stretch to me and bait me. I was caught too.

I leaned toward her, hating this gap between our lips that I wanted to remove. "How about we go down to our room, and explore how it feels to orgasm in the middle of the ocean?"

"You haven't ever done it on the ocean?" she asked, lust filling her cream colored eyes.

I shook my head. "A first for both of us." I told her. I have done lakes, pool's, but never oceans. And her excitement made her eyes twinkle in the moonlight. I swear, my chest clenched up, and each star from the sky shined just for her in that second. My god, I love this girl. I never thought I'd be here, or like I said deserved this love but damn fate, or the stars, or whatever people believe in because there is no way I'm giving her back. They accidentally gave me something holy, and I know it wasn't meant for me, but I'm keeping her. I'm never giving her back, no matter how hard the heavens wants her back. They can fucken themselves because she's mine.

Two minutes later, we were in our room and the door was shut behind us. I walked us to the bed, her lips trailing across my jaw, to my neck, and ending on my shoulders. Each one of them made me shutter in ways I never have. But each of them felt like she was healing something inside me. A wound that's been there from the start, and it's finally getting the care it needs.

I laid her down on the bed, hovering over her. "Tu mio, si?" I asked. Your mine, yeah? I don't know why I ask, why I need her to say it. But I needed it. I needed her sweet words to crumble the rest of the pieces of my mind, and I needed to just end here and begin as something more. And the only way I can ever do that, is with her power.

She smiled, a sight that hit me hard. "Always."

I leaned down, kissing her sweet lips and she released a soft moan for me. Her hands wondered all over me like they just couldn't get enough and the time was ending. It wasn't. Because till my last breath, I was hers. "Flip for me, love." I said, and she pulled back, switching to her stomach. I dropped down, kissing the golden skin on her shoulder that was not covered by the top of her shirt. Meanwhile, I found the zipper on the back of her skirt and slowly unzipped it.

I could tell with her eagerness she just wished for it too be off, and for my hands to be all over her but I wanted to feel her come undone under me. Because my own lust was just as demanding, drumming in my veins like liquid lava determined to burn me to ashes. I could feel my dick painfully throbbing against my jeans as I finished unzipping her skirt. "You look absolutely fucken beautiful in this, but it's time for it to come off. What do you think?"

She nodded, whimpering a little and pushing herself upwards into me. I smiled, snatching the skirt from under her and throwing it behind myself. Leaving her in pearly white lace underwear that made me groan. At least if I die now, it wouldn't be all that hard to get rid of my body. Just chuck me over the railing. Sending a cupcake with me, and we are solid.

I palmed her ass, rubbing it as I kissed down her shoulder, neck, and savored every second of it. She moaned softly, squeezing her eyes shut and holding onto the blanket. I picked my hand up, and dropped it on her ass, smacking it and making it shake, and leaving my palm print for me to stare at. Absolutely mesmerizing.

Lina inhaled sharply. "It's not fair." she mumbled, and I looked toward her. "What's not fair?"

"I'm half naked, and your still fully dressed."

I chuckled. "Your right about that." I told her, pulling back enough that I could get my jeans off. Then, I positioned myself back on top of her, and hovered as I circled her butt check with my palm. It made her breathing speed up, lust pour out of every breath but I just wanted to take a second to capture her. A second to exhale this imagine of her underneath me, and peering up at me like I was going to fulfill all her dirty little desires.

Using my other hand, I wrapped it around her waist and pulled her upwards to take off her shirt. Then, I put her back onto her stomach and she turned her head, watching me though long lashes that fell heavily with every second. Everything about her was just perfect, and I couldn't believe that she was all mine. The universe really fucked up by giving her to me because ain't no one taking her back. Maybe if I say it enough the universe will get the fuck off sign I'm giving off.

I smiled at her. "How do you feel about toys?"

Her lips parted. "Toys?"

I chuckled, coming on top of her and hovering by putting most of my weight on my palm pressed into the bed. "Not right now, but later."

She thought about it for a second, looking interested by the idea. "What kind?" she asked, looking up at me with widened eyes full of curiosity, and even wanted exploration.

I leaned down, brings our faces together. "How about you think about it for a little. Think about what kind you would want to try, and then we'll sit down together and pick some out."

She nodded, clearly liking that. Maybe because I was giving her time, or including her in the decision but either way, she was intrigued and that's all I can ask for. Wither she likes it or not is up to her. But she already had the vibrater, so maybe it would be something she would like to explore. And Oh man do I want to explore everything with her. It all felt new. I know I have done most of this, but it always felt so plain, and boring but this, fuck, this felt like a high.

I leaned back, pulling off my shirt and throwing it behind me. Now, we both were basically naked, and I reached down underneath her and traced my finger between her folds. She inhaled deeply at that, but it came back out shaken. Not in panic, or worry, but lust, desire, and need. Pressing myself into her butt, I rubbed her clit and made her moan. I enjoyed her moans, and small whimpers more then I should because I was welling to bury myself underneath them. It was a sound not meant for me, but I would create chaotic and mayhem to make it mine forever.

I leaned down, kissing her shoulders and neck as she whimpered under my touch, and under the building pressure between her legs. I could feel by the tension in her body, and the way she was squeezing the blanket harder between her little fist, that she was close. "You made it so easy." I chuckled, rubbing her as she whimpered. "At least hold off on me for a bit, make me work for it." I whispered against her ear and that seemed to just rail her up more because she moaned out into the blanket.

I chuckled, biting at her ear softly. She whimpered again, breathing erotic and heavy as she circled the orgasam that was right there. She was wet, soaking my fingers and I loved every second of it. How reactive she was for me, and how eager she was to have me on her, in her, and with her.

I slipped a finger into her, making her moan out as I kissed her neck. "You're so tight, god." I muttered and she clenched around my one finger. Fuck, I can't wait to be in there. "Mateo." she moaned, squeezing her eyes shut and making this all that more sweet. I could tell she was even closer now, so I leaned down biting down on her neck just enough for it to sting as I rubbed myself against her, and circled her clit with my finger. It only took another second before I felt her clench around me, and moan out heavily as the orgamas ran thought her veins.

I pulled up, and she laid there, staring at me thought lust and sinful desire that looked holy on her. On me, it definitely wouldn't look like that. I smiled at her, tugging off my underwear, and hers before coming back on top of her. Wrapping my hand around her waist, I tugged her up onto half knees. "Stay right here, yeah?"

She nodded, supporting herself with her elbows and I aligned myself. "Fuck, your dripping already and I just know I'm about to enter fucken something blissful." I pushed gently in, feeling the push back, and tightness wrap me. "I don't think I'm meant for heaven, so you, love, are coming to hell with me." I told her, slamming myself fully into her. I knew with the way she was soaked, even though she was tight, she would be okay.

She moaned out loudly, holding onto the blanket and I stayed there for a second, letting her adjust to me. Only when she started moving around a little did I start pulling out, and dip myself back in. Every thrust felt like a taste of pureness not meant for me, but I swear I never tasted everything sweeter. "Fuck, amor. Your so good." I groaned, hearing her whimper. I reached over, pulling both of her hands from underneath her and tugged them upwards. I locked her hands together with mine, and kept her underneath me with her ass pushed up against me.

She turned her head, looking at me like I was giving her everything she ever dreamed off, and I just couldn't fucken stop. I pulled out, and thrusted into her with every moan and whimper she gave me. I took it all, and fucken locked it for myself because I have always been selfish and maybe I shouldn't keep her for myself, but I will. Maybe I should be better. I should find a way to let go off her, because she deserved the world but fuck that. I'll give her the world. I'll give her my entire world. Because I have never felt this happy, or good in my life.

I sped up my thrusts, not being able to control them anymore. Something wild, and needy filled me and sent me over the edge. I was swimming in fucken pleasure and I could barely see straight at this point. My chest was rising and falling so hard that I swear I could feel my heart pounding against my rib cage.

Reaching around, I flipped her onto her back and thrusted back into her. I took one of legs and put it on my shoulder, taking her deeper until I swear my hearing was buzzing out in my ears. "Be a good girl and lift your ass for me." I commanded her, and she whimpered out as she lifted her ass and I hit a deep spot. Her moans, breathy and so heat filled were the only thing I could hear.

I stared down at her, taking the beauty of her face. The way she moan made her eyes squeeze shut and lips plump out in the sweetest way. It was fucken addicting and hitting at the same time. And I gripped her hip keeping her lined up with myself for the perfect position. I could see by her facial expressions and the clench around my dock that she was enjoying every second of it.

I learned down, kissing her. "Fuck, love, I'm so fucken close. Will you forgive me if I finish now?" I asked, not being able to take any more of this torture. I can feel my wild pleasure right there, and it was like I had to keep myself in the distance.

She whimpered. "I will always forgive you."

I groaned. "And that's why your too good for me." I said, thrusting into her for the final time and bearing myself so deep in her that I swear for a second my soul left my body and greeted hers. It wrapped her up, and whispered sweet words of promises, and love before it came back to me. And I swear, it felt a little better healthier, cleaner, and happier. It hit me then, her words about souls being pack animals and maybe she's right because now that I'm with her, I have never been more at peace.

I pulled out of her, rolling onto my side and taking off the condom I put on. She too rolled onto her side, peering at me through thick lashes and glossy eyes. She smiled at me, and it rounded her cheeks. I threw the condom in the trash, and turned back to her. "You did so well, love." I told her, wrapping my arm around her waist and turning her before tucking her into my chest.

"You praise me a lot." she muttered.

"You don't like it?"

She stayed silent for a second, and I smiled at her hesitation. "It's okay if you do." I told her, "It's okay for you to like anything that brings you pleasure."

She sighed, tucking her check against my forearm. "I want to believe that but my past experiences say otherwise."

I lifted up, hovering over her and took her face between my fingers, making her look at me. "I'll praise, and worship you on my knees if you asked me, love. I'll walk oceans, and desserts to you. And I'll always bring you pleasure, no matter how you choose to let me. If you like something, you say so, and I'll do it. I don't care what it is. We are human, and we are allowed to taste sin. I understand it's not easy for you, but you're mine love, and your allowed some freedom to explore. I promise to never shame you."

She stared up at me with soft burned eyes that were full of adoration, and relief that I smiled at. "I'm yours." she repeated, and I grinned harder. "You are, and your allowed anything you wish for. No one will stand against you because I'll always stand beside you. And no one can stand against me even if they tried."

She nodded, exhaling a breath. "I really, really love you, Mateo. More then the sun, and moon, and sky, and forests, and oceans, and everything. I love you."

I smiled at her, soaking in her words and love. "More then all those things? Whoa." I said, chuckling. She wrinkled her nose at me, finding it funny that I'm using her signature words. "I love you too, mi amor. More then life, because without you, there was nothing. I lived in a dull world, full of blend colors, and plain pain. And now I'm finally living."

SOMETIME LATER.

I jerked awake, heaving forward to catch a breath. My chest constricted but I forced myself through the pressure. I know how this went, how long the moment would last, and how it would end. I was always fine by the end, and it was just about breathing through the panic in me. The same panic that I swore tried to steal ever breath I took, but I fought. I always fucken fought it because I needed to and because I wouldn't let it take me, or control me. I was stronger then it, and it's whispers of terror.

A few second turned into a minute and it wasn't until then, that my lungs released a heavy breath of relief. I turned my head, looking for Lina but instead of her I found a sleeping Maddox. I looked at him in confusion and turned my head to look around the room, but she wasn't anywhere to be seen. Which was odd because I fell asleep next to her, with her in my arms for that matter, so where was she? And when did Maddox end up in my bed? I looked at him again, noting him fully asleep. I'm not sure how long his been out, but by the way his lips were parted, and chest rose and fell, I could tell he was sleeping for real. I knew his breathing rhythm by memory; I woke up to it to many times.

I climbed off the bed, carefully to not wake him and padded across the room. I stepped out the room, glancing at him one more time, a sinking feeling in my stomach. I almost stayed, but forced myself to close the door behind me. I turned for the top deck, but paused. Fuck, I really didn't want to leave him in there alone. If he woke up alone that might cause him to panic, and I couldn't let him go through that. There's a reason he sleeps in my bed, and it's because if he ever woke up screaming, there's someone there to calm him. To remind him that his back to reality, and not in those memories.

So instead of going to the top deck, I turned back to the hallway and went towards Kirsan's room. Knocking on the door, I waited. He opened up a second later. "Busy?" I asked, looking him over. Shit, he didn't look good. His dark eyes were hunted in new ways, more dull and soulless. And even his cheeks were more sharper, and expression more war torn. I knew that shit with Olivia at graduation messed him up pretty good. And because of it his been a little more distant, and emotionless. I can't tell if what she said is causing of this, or how he feels about it. Whatever the fuck it is really screwed his mind. I already tired to talk to him, but it went nowhere. He just stared at me, looking right though me, and not answering a single question. I gave up because when his ready, he will always come.

He leaned on the door, looking deadly tired. "No."

"My girlfriend disappeared so I'm going to go find her, but Maddox is asleep in my room. Can you go stay with him in case he wakes?"

He watched me with such a stoic look that it was impressive how he could keep it up that well. "You're not helping him by always accommodating to his fears and making him comfortable with them." he told me. As if I didn't know that, but what else am I supposed to do? "Then what do I do?"

He turned, walking back into the room and grabbed a book off the nightstand. "You aren't supposed to do anything. Support, that's it. But you aren't supposed to encourage actions that enable him to cower to his trauma."

It made sense but unlike him I didn't have a full grasp on that whole psychological thing. "What am I doing wrong?"

He walked back to the door. "Allowed him to stay in your bed. Supporting his decision to sleep with a gun. Acting as if his trauma doesn't exist, or that it's not draining to life out of him. Mateo, he needs to figure out how to move on, otherwise he will stay hunted by those memories. He needs to talk to someone."