6 Years Later

"Nolan, Nial, Lillian!" The thundering of feet ran down the stairs. The boys were pushing each other down the steps, trying to race each other to see who could make it to me first. Nial missed a step, he was about to fall on his face until I caught him.

He laughed, "thanks, dad."

"What have I told the both of you about running down the stairs?"

"We know dad."

"Then why'd you do it?"

They both shrugged. "It's fun."

I shook my head, "where's your sister?"

They shrugged again as they started to push each other. I stood in between them so they could stop bothering each other. "Lillian!"

"Daddy, my other shoe is missing." She appeared from the top of the stairs looking down. She was in her new white dress that Jenna got her. She was only wearing one shoe looking comical.

"Baby just wear a different pair."

She went back to her room to put on her sandals. "Alright, you two go outside and pick some flowers."

They both bolted out the front door. Picking flowers for their mother were always their favorite time of day. Lillian appeared holding onto the railing while jumping on each of the steps on the stairs as she hummed. I grabbed her before she made the last few steps. She squealed in delight as I twirled her around.

She held onto my neck as she looked at me. "Can I pick flowers too?"

"Of course." I set her down once we were outside. Right as she started to run she was picked up by Marcus. Then Magnus, Axel, and Roman soon joined in giving her kisses.

Lillian and the boys were taught to call them all uncles. Four uncles to be exact who were just as protective as I. Tilda appeared holding the boys' hand walking back to us.

"Caught these two wrestling in the field."

I kneeled down in front of them both with a serious face. "I guess you both will stay back and not go today."

They both pleaded at the same time. "Please dad, we want to see mommy! Pleaseeeee!"

"You can go, but no more fighting. Now go pick out flowers." They dashed out again the laughed as they saw Magnus and Roman chasing after them.

I stood up looking over Tilda, smiling. "How are you feeling?"

"Good even better if I still had some action." She said raising her eyebrows. Tilda was about five months pregnant and couldn't be happier. She was bringing in new editions to the family.

"Axel says he doesn't want to hurt the baby so he's been putting off sex for months now." Axel and Tilda had been building up their relationship to one of love which eventually paid off now that they were having a little pup of their own.

"You pick out a name yet for the little one?"

"I was thinking of naming her Violet. You know, just like Flora's and Lillian's names. Keeping the flower names going on."

That one made me smile and made my heart swell with joy. My eyes watered up but I wouldn't dare let them fall down. Everything had changed in over the years, many of my experiences had shaped me into who I am today.

Tilda forced a smile, pulling me in for a hug. "She'd be so proud of you. For everything you've done for the triplets." She let me go and smiled.

"Daddy look at the flowers I got for mommy!" Lillian held up all the colorful flowers in her hands as she gazed at them. The boys were right behind her with their own flowers.

"All right everybody hold hands. We're gonna go give mommy her flowers."

We all walked holding hands until we were at the beautiful opening. Once we got to the meadow that laid ahead right next to the lake, the kids let go of my hands running to their mother's grave.

They placed their flowers on her tombstone, talking to her as if she was actually here with us. The triplets loved their birthday but knew that their mom had died that same day. It had been hard raising the three of them, but with the guidance of Jenna and other mothers from different packs helped out a lot.

The thought of that night was a reminder of what I gained and lost, all in the same day. The way Flora looked when I turned to look at her was exactly what I had feared.

What hurt the most was that she never got to see any of the babies. Nor did I even get to say goodbye to her or tell her that I love her.

Everything that was left unsaid was nothing but meaningless words. Ones I dreamed that I wished I said.

"How's everybody?" A voice sounded behind us. Jenna had a big smile on her face as she looked at the kids.

"Grandma!" They all screamed charging towards her.

"Hey, you little rascals. Grandma and grandpa got you guys presents for later." She got them in a big group hug and gazed at them lovingly. "Oh, we just missed you all so much."

"Grandma we saw you earlier when you dropped off the goodies."

"Did I now?" She played along pretending to think. "Grandma is so old, she hardly remembers."

"Jenna stop it. If you're old then I'm older." Kurt appeared carrying a couple of bags in hand.

"Grandpa!" They shouted. I shook my head laughing at the kids. They had seen them both this morning yet they still get excited as if they hadn't seen them in weeks. "Happy Birthday kids!"

Jenna came over to me while Kurt was distracting the children. She gave me a hug then we both looked at Flora's grave. "I miss her Jenna. So fucking much that it hurts."

"I know but you gotta stay strong for the kids. They need their dad."

"They need their mom." I countered back.

"How about me and Kurt watch the kids tonight? Gives you time to...talk to her."

I nodded. "I'd like that." With that said Jenna and Kurt took the kids to the house. While I laid down next to Flora's grave sighing.

"I love you, Flora. More than you'll ever know. Just like you told me once before. I wasn't able to say it when you were alive because I was scared, but now that you're gone." The tears were now falling down my cheeks. "I don't know what to do anymore."

After a few hours, I was done visiting Flora. I strolled back to the house seeing the kids in the living room with their grandparents. They were all lying next to Jenna and Kurt snuggled up in blankets.

"Grandma, what was mommy like?" I heard Lillian ask.

"Doesn't your dad talk about her?" Jenna asked twirling Lillian's hair with her fingers. Just as the boys all looked at their grandma with interest.

"He does but then he always leaves the room in a hurry."

"Well, your mother was a very beautiful woman and so kind-hearted. She was a person that loved you all even if the idea of you three scared her. She would talk to you when she couldn't sleep at night while you were resting in her tummy."

"What'd she look like?" Nial asked, curiosity gleaming in his eyes. I came out from the dark and stood in front of them sitting down.

"Beautiful in every way." I was to blame for them not knowing what Flora looked like. When she died, I couldn't take seeing her face everywhere or the things that reminded me of her. The guilt and sadness ate at me every time.

I knew I was depriving my children of their mother's picture's and the life she lived but I was too selfish. I pulled out the necklaces from my pocket then handed them their own individual ones. Inside each of their locket was a picture of Flora.

They opened it eagerly and remained silent trying to memorize and trace her every feature. I took out the frames with multiple pictures of Flora and I that I had taken secretly when she wasn't paying attention.

The triplets all gathered in front of it pointing out the different images of their mom. Kurt and Jenna were side by side reminiscing their daughter. Nolan was the first to hug me followed by Nial and Lillian.

"It's late. You all ready for bed?"

"No," they groaned in unison. Even though they were already in their pj's. Once we all tucked them in Jenna and Kurt helped clean up the mess the kids had made.

Over the next years, as the kids grew older, they'd often go to their mother's grave looking for guidance. They would stay until they saw or felt her presence.

For Nolan, it was a water drop on his cheek though it wouldn't be raining and the lake wasn't too close. Nolan came when there was pressure on him for being the eldest and setting an example for his brother and sister.

For Nial, it was a butterfly whom he saw flutter over the water every time he visited his mom's grave. Nial would come whenever he was scrutinized for not following the rules when all he wanted to do was have fun.

For Lillian, it was a gust of wind that she interpreted as a whisper. Lillian came when she felt like she wasn't fitting in anywhere.

They all were living in expectations that they didn't want to be in. The pressure of living a life that didn't feel like theirs.

They were trained and weren't allowed to go to school except for being taught by some of the nearby pack members.

Once I opened up the idea of talking about Flora. I kept visiting her grave more than spending time with the kids. Which is where everything went downhill. I fell back into the past and wasn't focusing on the kids as much. My relapse affected our lives drastically.

My health was declining and I hardly ever shifted into my lycan. Jenna, Kurt, and even Aiden tried raising the kids whenever I wasn't around.

My brothers were mad at me along with the werewolf community. They didn't want to see one of their high leaders to turn his back on everything he's ever fought for.

Then one day when Lillian went too far out playing, she encountered half-shifters. She tried shifting into her lycan when she came across them but by forcing out her lycan, her body couldn't adapt to her size. She was only twelve when she died mid-shift.

When they found her, there was hardly a body at all from the damage they did to my youngest. Her death was another reason to remain reclusive. Her funeral was on a gloomy rainy day where we buried her next to Flora.

The boys and I took it hard along with others. Since then the boys grew up blaming me since I moped and was depressed all the time. They blamed me for it all, as they should. For breaking their mothers heart when I admitted to cheating, for leaving Lillian alone, and for abandoning them for days not telling them where I went.

I hated myself and everybody else. I was mad at the world and everyone who I came across.

I remember one night when I was at the house, I looked in the mirror to see an unrecognizable face of an older, weak man with his boys who hate him.

We were a broken family and I a broken man who couldn't save anybody. Flora would be disappointed in me. That I had failed to become a good father. Failed at everything I said I would do but never did.

This was my life.

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