'Sakura Eyes' is the story of Sakura, an eighteen-year-old girl who sets off on a journey to fight an evil king whose kingdom has been broken and neglected. That's the simplest way to put it.

It sounds promising, I'll say that. Not the most original, but it makes for an interesting story when executed well. However, I often found to be chapters to be a little… dragging, a little off-track, as if they were fillers instead of a way too advance the story. Sometimes it feels like the story forgets what it's working towards. They need to defeat an evil king, right? Then why isn't said king even mentioned in many chapters? Don't forget where you're going with everything!

The characters are pretty decent. There is a consistency to them, as seen in Sakura's initial struggle to kill (very in character, seeing as her mother healed instead of killed), and there is time to develop them more as the story progresses. I also liked Sakura's relationship with May, though I did feel like May acted a little young for her age (but that might be chalked up to her never being around other children for most of her life).

The GPS is pretty good, really. Some editing could be nice, but it's not a high priority thing.

Another point I'd like to talk about: realism. The story could have some more of that. For example, when Sakura looks in the mirror in chapter two and describes herself, she uses language that, let's be honest, no one uses to describe themselves. You don't look into the mirror and go: 'oh my! Almond-shaped eyes! Delicate nose!' No. You go: 'goddamn it, more fucking acne.', or something along those lines. The hunting scenes also bothered me, because it felt like they didn't take into account how animals have an amazing sense of smell. Being quiet and staying out of sight isn't all there is to hunting; you also need to take note of the wind and how it can bring your scent to the animal, which can and will cause them to run. Do your research, and if you did do it, then don't be afraid to incorporate it! Baffle the readers with your superior intellect!

I'd also have liked to see some more foreshadowing. It started so promising, with the thing with the eyedrops, but then I barely saw any foreshadowing whatsoever while it's such a useful tool to keep the audience interested! It helps keep them on their toes and makes them think you know what you're doing when it comes to writing. It's not the most important thing in the world to have foreshadowing, but see it as a… useful trick.

Rating: 6,5. I found the story to be a little slow and chaotic, but it will have potential when its flaws are smoothed out!