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I woke up around 10:30 am with a terrible headache..... and in a empty bed... again. I huffed as I slowly got out of bed walking to my black and white colored bathroom. I looked in the mirror to yet again see my red puffy eyes looking back at me. "You can't keep doing this y/n.." I said softly before undressing myself. I'm y/n, a 22 year old girl who's sadly in love with an idol... a girl who's dumbly in love with an idol who probably doesn't love her back.

I've been in this toxic relationship for over two years... well today makes it three. I sighed as I turned on the hot water before letting myself soak under the shower head, this is 100th time I woke up alone. You would think I'd be used to it because he's an idol.. but this is different.. completely different. My 'boyfriend' of three years has been on a five month break and barely pays me attention. I wake up alone, eat alone, clean alone, go out alone, and fall asleep... alone. It has been some days where he was beside me when I'm wake up, you'd think I'd get this cute man who would ask what I'd want for breakfast.

But no... all I get is a lustful man who fucks me, showers, then leaves cause his members are more important than his own girlfriend! I've tried my hardest to leave but every time I try, he gives me some type of excuse then makes me feel guilty for being 'dumb' and trying to leave him. You would think 'what type of man are you dating?!' Well.... how would you feel if I told you... I was dating none other than...

Jeon Jungkook. The golden maknae who everyone adores, the muscle bunny that everyone wants, the man with beautiful ass vocals that you wanna hear before you sleep. It's shocking to some when they find out I'm dating him but every time I voice out what happens... they always believe him. I tell them how he leaves me alone but they'll call me selfish and says 'ohhh he's an idol what did you expect?!' Well why doesn't he be here even when he's free huh? It's the thing I always want to fire back but I roll my eyes and change the subject because they'll just praise him like he's a innocent angel. If only.... if only they knew the real Jungkook.

I got out the now cold shower as I dried off and got ready for the day, book bag or purse (whichever you choose).

I looked in the mirror at myself as I felt cute but something's been making me feel like I need Jk to tell me I'm pretty. I shook my head at my foolish thoughts before walking out, I was finally getting the chance to meet my friend Bri after so many months. I walked down the beautiful streets of Seoul seeing many couples walking all happy and playful, it made my heartache seeing how they were happy and I wasn't. I tend to be happy for them whenever I saw the couples but something made my stomach churn when I got closer to the cafe... hopefully it's nothing bad. I entered and quickly spot Bri heading towards her as she jumps up and hugs me.

Her embrace was so warm for a slimmer and shorter girl than me but she was my soulmate so it was perfect either way! We sat down and chatted about all the things we missed while I felt horrible when she told me I missed her and taehyung's engagement party. "You should've came but Jk told me you were sick.." my eyes grew at her words 'sick?' I picked my coffee up, "What do you mean I was sick?" She looked at me confusingly. "Jk had came to the party but he told me you weren't feeling well.." she had shrugged but this caught me off because when she told the date... I wasn't sick. Me and Jungkook had a heated session causing my legs to feel numb so I couldn't go without having to be held every minute so I asked her. "Was anyone with him?"

She thought for a second then nodded, "Yea some brown hair chick she was around my height, short hair, very slim of course and she was attached to his hip the entire time... said she was a cousin." I furrowed my eyebrows at the description, "I never saw a cousin of his that looked like that..." she shrugged. "Me either but she said her name was Syu-oon." I kept thinking hard until finally the name clicked... Syu-oon wasn't his cousin... I blurted out. "That's his fucking ex!"

People looked over to me but I didn't even say sorry as I felt the anger leaking through my veins 'why was his ex there? Especially after he lied about me!' Bri could sense my anger as she rubbed my left hand, "Calm down I made sure to watch them for as much as I could but they weren't doing anything bad.." I shook my head as I looked down.

I heard a gasp as I looked up to see Bri with wide eyes and jaw slightly dropped, "What's wrong Bri?" I was about to turn around but she stopped me. "No no no! Uhm.. I mean uh... I don't wanna hurt you y/n but..." her eyes were slightly wet as she looked at the scene behind me. "Would you stop! You're acting like it's a bunch of kids getting hurt-" my sentence stopped when I finally turned around. My world had completely crashed down as I was currently looking at Jungkook and his ex who was wearing one of his hoodies and just any hoodie. It was the one I gave him on our 2nd year anniversary... a hoodie that he barely let anyone touch but she was wearing it.

I wanted to punch a hole in the brick wall but instead I let my body take control by walking to their table and slamming my hand down. They both flinched as they looked up to see me; Syu-oon was shocked at first then a small smirk showed on her lips while Jk held a tight glare to me. He asked as he stood up towering over me making me scoff, "So this is what we doing now Jungkook?! We seeing our exes today huh?" He rolled his eyes but miss slut spoke up, "Exes?? Jk baby... you told me you broke up with her.." my breath hitched as I tried to wrap my head around her words.

"So 'we' broke up Jk?" He was about to speak but I grabbed his coffee and poured it over his head before storming out the cafe. I was so pissed that I walked the entire 10 miles back home, how could he do this to me? I thought he loved me... but I guess I was wrong! I stormed into my apartment, I basically sped walked into the bedroom grabbing my large suitcase. "Since be wanna do this shit... I'm leaving!" I was thinking out loud as I packed my bag... thankfully I didn't fully move out my old house so I did have a place to stay.

I didn't hear the front door as I was ranting and stuffing my bag I stopped when I heard a gasp,I looked back to see a a grey Jungkook. I rolled my eyes as I kept packing as he groaned, I stopped as I saw him by the door with his arms crossed and a coy smirk on his face.

I grumbled as I went into the bathroom to grab my stuff, when I came back out Jk was putting my bag on the floor. "Don't touch my shit now move!" I was about to walk past him but he blocked my way. I almost cowered but I stood my ground, "I'm talking to a cheating jack ass!!" I pushed past him as I threw my remaining stuff in the bag before zipping it. I stood up with my bag but couldn't leave cause Jungkook locked the door and blocked it with his muscular body. He said with a deeper voice that sent chills down my spine, I gulped as I looked at his dark eyes. "I- I'm going home... I can't do this anymore Kookie.."

He sighed as he walked closer to me,I squinted at him. "This used to be home! Hell Jungkook why would I keep staying with you when every time I wake up you're out with that bitch!" He leaned in closer to my face, I rolled my eyes and tried to leave but this time he picked me up and threw me on the bed.

"Jungkook just leave me alone!" He shook his head as he grabbed my face, I was breathing heavy, my heart was beating as I looked into his eyes that were empty. "Jk.." he shushed me with his lips as he pulled me into a deep kiss, I tried to push back but he was too strong.

Tears slid down my face but it's not like I didn't want it but I wanted to get over him. He laid me back as he kissed me more passionately, he gripped my thighs making me gasp so he could slide his tongue between my lips he said as he kissed from chin to my neck, marking me with more hickeys.

I tried to hide my moans but gosh why did he have to make me feel good.. no no y/n stay strong! I was having a internal crisis as I didn't realize that Jk stripped both our clothes off. When I got out my thoughts I instantly covered my body that was littered of hickeys,. I was like putty to him as he spoke to me like this to make me stay or to stop me from getting mad,

"Jungkook... please just leave me." I whispered as he kissed my thighs softly, he chuckled, I wanted to cry because he was right, the first time we broke up I was so lost that I couldn't help but to come back begging.

(A/n - I wouldn't dare do this shit).

I couldn't believe I was falling back for this man who did nothing but manipulate me... but I loved him too much. He kissed me as he spread open my legs making me feel shy as I wanted to cover myself but something told me to behave and keep him satisfied. He said as he kissed my neck as he slid his cock into me making me groan.

"Ahhh... only you can.." I said as he slowly fucked into me, I was naturally moaning as my deeper thoughts tried to snap me out this trance... but it failed. I needed him as he was the only man who could make me smile, the only man who could keep me feeling beautiful, he knew how to please me better than anyone else.

We moaned in unison as our sweaty bodies rubbed against each other and the wet sheets, "Ahhh... Jungkook... please." I don't know why I was begging but I needed something from him, he groaned in my ear as he thrusted faster. I moaned at the small praises he threw at me. I wanted to cry when he brought her name up but I felt happy knowing I was better than her. "I'm better than her... ahh I love you baby!" I moaned as he chuckled thrusting deeper hitting my core.

After more hard strokes we both came together as we came down from our high as he pulled out and laid down beside me. My mind was dazed from all the words he put in my head while he kissed my cheek and snuggled into me.I slowly fell asleep in the arms of a man who manipulates but loves me... right?

After a few months of us dating... the vocal line released a new song called "House Of Cards.".

I was so shocked by the words because the lyrics were highly true... because they were about us.

Edited - 6/28/22