icing a batch of cupcakes when Natalia knocks on the door.

If you can believe it, I haven't baked any since before. Thinking about baking used to remind me of it, of everything that used to be and no longer is.

But now, everything before is a warm glow, and everything after is... well, red. Exhilarating.

"Hey, Rosalyn," she greets, giving me a hug. We haven't really hung out these last few months, not just for the fun of it anyway. It's nice seeing her.

"I missed spending time with you, Natalia," I say as I pour her a cup of coffee. "How are you?"

Her smile is genuine but I can see her studying me, subtly. "I'm good." A pause. We sit at the counter, and she thanks me when I slide a small, beautifully iced cake in her direction. "Rosalyn," she says, looking at me from top to bottom. I did a hell of a job with my makeup, because there isn't a single telling mark visible.

"Mhm?"

She hesitates. "You look... really good." She smiles at me, and I can tell she's relieved to see that the darkness has lifted. "You're glowing."

And of course I blush, because there's definitely a reason for that. "It's nothing."

"How are you? What have you been up to?"

I remember Nero's fingers, his mouth and his hands and that gorgeous face as it hovered over me, muscled chest straining with every thrust. "I've been feeling a lot better, to tell the truth." I hope that she doesn't read too much into my flushed cheeks. I gift her a sincere smile.

"I'm really glad to hear it."

We fall into easy conversation, like we used to months and months ago. She jokes and laughs and it feels so good, so great to be past those haunting black shadows and the blurry stream of tears. My mind is so light, so happy. Happy. When was the last time I admitted to feeling that?

She tells me about how my idiot brother nearly set their apartment on fire (they've moved in together, did I tell you?) and I'm doubled over with laughter, and the entire world is normal again. "God, Natalia." I take a bite of homemade red velvet, giggling. "Would you believe me if I told you I was one hundred percent happy right now?"

I don't think I've ever seen such a huge, warm smile on her face. "You deserve it, Rosalyn. I'm really, really happy that you're happy."

We spend an hour talking about her life, work, mine. I tell her everything except what's staring me right in the face.

At the back of my mind, the truth of the last couple days is nagging. I pour us more coffee and ask, casually, "Have you hear from Nero, lately?"

I pretend to ignore the surprise on her face at the mention of him, so easily, from my mouth. "Um..." She raises an eyebrow, then shrugs. "I'm not sure how much you've heard from the news but, the Vancouver mafia isn't really up to much of anything these days. And neither is he."

She eyes me suspiciously, and I focus on my cupcake. Then she asks, "Have you heard from him lately?"

About that.

"Well, actually." I bite my lip, and the distrust on her face grows by the second. Just as my silence is about to give me away, there's a gentle knock on my door.

Saved by the bell. He has the best and the worst timing.

"I'll get it," I say, walking over to the door and peering through.

"Are you expecting anyone?" There's curiosity building in her voice.

Yes, actually.

She follows me to the door, and when I open it to let him in, the sight of him makes my stomach flutter wildly both from his presence and from the situation that I have no idea how to talk my way out of.

She is going to kill us. The only question is who first, and how.

"Speak of the devil," she says, looking both shocked and wary. "Hi, cousin."

He gives her a small, soft smile, and it is so incredibly strange because the only way I have ever seen him look at her is with frustration and mistrust. Now, the expression on his face is apologetic. Kind.

She's bewildered too, because she doesn't even say anything as he steps past me, inside. I pour him a cup of coffee, refilling Natalia's and avoiding her eye. We stand awkwardly around the island, no one wanting to talk first.

"How are you, Nat?" He breaks the silence.

Natalia looks at him like he's from another planet. "I'm fine." She narrows his eyes at him, gaze flitting back and forth between him and me. I wish the earth would swallow me. "It looks like retirement has been good to you." There's only a hint of mockery in her voice.

"It has." He clears his throat, then closes his eyes.

I hear Natalia finally let out a huff of breath. "Okay, Ros. What the hell?" She laughs a little, because the only logical explanation is laughable. "How long have you two been screwing each other?"

I cough, turning red. "Natalia..." I start, immediately realizing that this was a bad, bad idea. "Let me explain, okay?"

"You better." Now she looks at me like I've grown a second head. "I can't believe this." Her laughter is without humor as she grabs another cupcake and walks towards my living room, settling herself comfortably on my couch. The look of amazement on her face is priceless.

Nero and I catch each other's eyes for the briefest moment. There's definitely amusement in it, and that same spark. "Hey, dolcezza," he mumbles, brushing my hand with his before he follows his cousin.

"Dici sul serio?" she says to him angrily.

"Natalia," he begins defensively, holding up his hands in surrender. He collapses into an arm chair beside her, and the patience on his face is something I've never seen before. He's the guy that always gets he wants, and he told me so, in another life. But now he looks like he's ready to spend the entire day explaining things to her. What even is there to explain?

She shouts at him in Italian, and I understand none of it. He just sits and takes it, and it reminds me of that night long, long ago, when I attacked him in his apartment with my words and fists and he just let me. My heart contracts at the memory of it.

"Rosalyn. When? When did this start?" She's acting like a concerned relative, but also like she's ready to murder me.

I bite my lip. "Yesterday."

That shuts her up, if only for a second.

"Yesterday?"

"Yes." I run a hand through my hair, suddenly exhausted. "Before Friday night, I hadn't seen him in eight months, at least." She looks skeptical, but I continue. "Not since... before."

She closes her eyes, rests back against my worn cushions. "Bastardo," she mumbles. I know what that one means. "Rosalyn, it's not my place to tell you how to live your life or how to pick yourself back up after what happened." Her voice is soft, hurt. She looks me right in the eyes, and something about the colour of them reminds me of Nero. "But, don't you remember any of the horrible things that he has done?"

Silence. I think that as soon as she says it, she regrets it. She runs a hand across her forehead, sighing. "Of course you do, Rosalyn. I didn't mean it to come out like that."

"It's okay," I say. I don't completely know why all of a sudden I don't feel it crush me like it did before, just to think about it. I can think about it, now, and it still hurts, but I don't blame him.

Natalia can't see the things that Nero and I have said or done together, she doesn't know what exactly there is between us. I can't expect her to understand, when I'm not sure that I do myself. "I've forgiven him, Natalia." I say it with more strength than I thought I could. "And, it's not really my place, but I think you should too."

More silence. It stretches between the three of us, heavy. But, I imagine that there is hope in it too.

Natalia's gaze finds mine, searches. Then she turns her attention to Nero, and they look at each other without saying a single thing. The look on Nero's face is resigned, gentle. There's no evil it it. I think Natalia sees this. The other side of him that she knew once, that she didn't think she'd see again.

I hear his rough voice say quietly, "Mi dispiace, Natalia."

When I look at her, her eyes are wet. "Nero. I don't think I can forgive you so easily, cugino." Except that I can see that she wants to. "Rosalyn is a better person that I am. I need time."

I close my eyes, sigh. "I can't explain why I forgave him, Natalia. But, I know that he means it when he says he's sorry."

When I look at him, he's already looking at me, his expression raw. All his barriers have fallen away, and I'm left with just him, and it's strange yet incredible at the same time.

I offer him a small smile, and he gives me one of his own.

Eventually he says, "I don't deserve your forgiveness, Natalia." He runs a hand through his messy hair. "But papà and the rest of it is behind me. I'm not doing it anymore."

She smiles sadly. "I'll believe it when I see it, Nero."

I've never seen them say so much to each other. I understand why Natalia can't make this easy for him. I know what he's done.

After more silence, he looks her in the face and says, "Io la amo, Natalia."

Natalia grimaces tiredly at him, glances at me. "Does she know that, Nero?"

I have no idea what they're talking about, except that it's about me.

"Non ancora. That wouldn't be fair, would it?"

"And since when has that mattered to you?"

Oh Natalia. She isn't willing to give him anything. And I feel bad for him.

He just frowns, looks at the ground. "You have every right to hate me, Natalia. Ma siamo una famiglia."

"And since when has that mattered?"

He doesn't say anything. I want to hold him in my arms, make it better. But she was always there when he wasn't, and I can't take his side over hers.

"I'll make it up you, Nata." At that nickname, I see something flash across her face. Pain, and something softer. "Even if it takes the rest of my life, I will."

A tear rolls down her cheek, and she wipes it away swiftly with a thumb. "E mia mamma?"

"E mia zia." He closes his eyes, sighs.

Natalia says, "She talks about you everyday, you know. Every time I see her."

"I will visit her soon, Natalia."

She shakes her head, pressing her eyes shut. "Don't you dare, not unless you really mean it, Nero. She doesn't deserve that."

"I do mean it." He sounds like he does.

Natalia stares at her lap, her eyes narrowed. "I don't know if that's enough, Nero."

I can remember saying those same words to him, remember him saying the same things to me.

Natalia stands up, grabs her bag. She gives me a tired look, but it's not unkind. "Rosalyn, I'll meet you there, okay?" She and I were supposed to drive together to my parents' for Sunday night dinner. "I need some time to think."

"Of course," I whisper, getting up to follow her out.

She tugs her shoes on and I open the door for her. On her way out, she looks at me, right in the eye. There's a frown on her forehead, a wry tilt to her lips. But she still looks like she cares. "Rosalyn, I..." She closes her eyes, brings a hand to my shoulder. "You're like a sister I never had. I just don't want you to get hurt."

Before I can respond, she's already left.

Nero is still on the couch, deep in thought. I climb onto his lap, tuck my feet behind me. I rest my head in his shoulder and his arms hold me against him, and we don't say anything.

Our breaths rise and fall together, and the heat of our bodies pressed close is a comfort. When I pull back to look at him, hold his face in my palms, those dark eyes of his are shiny. It makes every part of me hurt for him. "She'll forgive you," I mumble near his mouth.

Fingers sliding slowly through my hair, he kisses me softly, and there is no way that any of this is pretend. "She has no reason to," he says against my lips.

I tilt my head to the side, and our noses brush, warm from our breaths. There are tears in my eyes, too. "Forgiveness doesn't need a reason."

I know as soon as I say it that it is the truth.

***

A/N:

So, do you guys think he deserves Natalia's forgiveness? Will Natalia be able to forgive Rosalyn?

Let me know what you think.

XOXO Ami

Thanks for reading! Please consider voting if you're enjoying BTW. Votes help books do well in the Wattpad stats. ❤️