" W-what?!"

Pretend like you did not hear what he said, maybe you just heard it wrongly, just do that Gabriel.

He let an awkward uncertain laugh.

" Let's pretend like that kiss never happened, we started off on the wrong foot anyway. What do think?" I noticed how his adam's apple bobbled nervously.

What do I think? Well, I'm certainly not denying the fact that I might have had a tiny infatuation and realising that I'm pushed over to the friend zone is literally the most heart crashing feeling.

Was I bad kisser?

Did it really make no impact on him?

Didn't he feel the electricity pulsing through his veins?

What was all that desire I felt in the kiss?

Was this all an illusion?

If only he knew the bombarding questions in mind, but his innocent smile confirmed my suspicion that he didn't have the slightest clue about the wreck within me right now.

I didn't want this to end, I didn't want this spark we had just die off.

But obviously, we would think otherwise. He's clearly straight afterall, I couldn't even imagine a guy like him, a walking sexy god, to like an ordinary Jack like me.

Or even better lean towrds the other side?!

Masking my internal conflict, that I planned on dealing with later, I smiled.

" I was thinking the exact same thing actually." I was so close to gagging upon hearing those bitter words roll off my tongue.

" You were? " he clearly did not expect that from me, I wasn't sure whether it was that weird illusion of mine once again that made me see a flicker of hurt in his eyes.

" Absolutely! Why wouldn't I think of that?" That fake smile on my lips started to hurt immensely.

He wrapped his arms around his waist anxiously. " Well...aren't you gay?"

This was so bizarre, getting two slaps across my cheeks with a span of half an hour. Not even my parents could muster that.

I leaned forward.

" What gave off that vibe, hm?" I challenged.

" You reacted pretty quickly to the kiss and I just kind of knew it..." he trailed with a shrug.

" Rude." I muttered, " Well it takes one to know one."

He chuckled lowly.

" So are you...--" I interrupted.

" Xander, you can say the word '' it's not a sin, you know?" He did hit a sensitive spot in my heart.

"And to be honest, I'm still trying to figure that out myself." I answered his question softly. I noticed how he relaxed, moving closer to me.

"Wanna talk about it? I have all night to spare...and alot of people say I'm good listener..." That cocky statement destroyed the entire sentimental moment.

Pulling my knees close to my chest, I rested my chin on them.

" In my highschool days, I was like cupid...I was great at matching my friends up with others and till today, many of them are still together in a relationship...

However, unlike them, I wasn't able to match myself to anyone. It was as though no one was meant to be with me. Like as though I'm incapable of being loved..."

" Gabriel," his eyes softened.

I continued, " I went out on dates with girls, I kissed guys as well because yes, I was curious, I was curious of where I belonged to. "

" Were you ever in a relationship with a guy? " Alexander asked, his legs now crossed in an Indian style.

" Never but I did have a summer fling with a guy." I smiled at the thought of it.

" I went out looking for love when I was seventeen. Maybe a little too young, but it was real to me. And in the heat of the night, I saw things I'd never seen. He showed me things that till now could keep me up at night." I bit my lip, feeling the heat reach my cheeks.

Alex broke the silence once more,

" He's Kayden, isn't he?" I was taken aback by how fast he linked the dots together.

" Yeah, but I told him that I didn't do relationships and we ended it off." I rubbed my arms to warm myself up.

Alexander's lips were drawn into a thin line.

" Alex, say something please." I faced myself towards him, he seemed deep in thought.

" You do know you have to figure yourself out sooner or later." His eyes held genuine concern.

" I know, but it's not that simple.." he stared at me ridiculously.

" What is so difficult Gabriel? It's so obvious that you're either bisexual or gay?!"

" Stop acting like you understand everything Alexander!" I stood up abruptly.

" You're going to be the one who has to tell his famous parents that their son is gay, you're going to be the one to tell your group of friends who make subtle jokes about gay people that their best friend is actually gay.

You're going to be the one that gets looked differently when you walk around the school campus. And you're going to be the one who will be judged.

will be the only one who has to go through all that shit. It would be my own battle. Not yours." I let out a heavy sigh, glancing back to his head that now hung low.

" Why do you think the world won't accept you the way you are..." his voice is soft, low yet held a tinge of confusion.

" Cause the world never did! And it never will Alexander! "

" Blake said you were a popular kid in highschool though..."

" Yeah well popularity in school can only help you this much but once you enter the real world, you're thrown into a cage of lions where popularity is insignificant." I slump back to ground, lying flat on the grass.

Staring up at the stars was the perfect calming therapy right now.

" But I can accept you the way you are..." Alexander voiced out, he sounded like a dejected 5 year old whose teddy bear just got taken away.

My elbows held me up as I lifted my head to look at him.

" You're special Alexander...you're everything the world isn't. You're understanding, intelligent, complicated yet simple. And that's what makes it so easy for me to talk to you."

I let my head fall back onto the grass patch once more. Alex moved to lie beside me. Using his fingers, he gently turned my chin towards him. My breath hitched the moment my eyes met his warm chocolate ones.

" Give the world a chance, Gabriel, to see the real you. Give the world a chance just like how you gave me a chance..."