The past four years went by in a blur, perphaps I was too involved in my scholarship and future, exactly what Xander wanted me to do. But for sure, there hasn't gone a day by where I wouldn't think about him. No call, no text, I didn't have the slightest inch closer to him for the past 4 years.

I know Kai and Blake are very much lying when they told me they haven't heard from Xander since he left, especially after I had a glimpse of his caller ID Ain their phone.

They are possibly afraid that I would jump ahead and blare Xander with calls. I knew better than that, I promised Xander I would give him time and space and that's exactly what I'm doing.

" I'm so proud of you dear, it's going to bring you to greater heights by selling your paintings. They're marvellous, anyone would buy them. Your name will spoke for often," Mom snaps me out of my trace.

" I'm still a little nervous, I'm not sure if I'm ready to let go of my painting." Mom hooks her arm around shoulder, pulling me closer.

" Are you not willing to let go of all your paintings or the one you specially drew for Alexander?" I chew on my bottom lip, there was no point in denying. Mom could read me like an open book.

" I'm not ready to let go of the painting that I drew of Alex...I don't think I'll ever be.." she gives my shoulder a tighter squeeze.

" You'll never stop loving a person, son. You might give away the painting but your love doesn't lie in that, your love for him lies and will forever be in your heart." She gently plants a kiss on my head.

" You're definitely right about that," I chuckle lightly, "!Over the years, mom, I thought I would fall out of love because we were so far apart. But instead I realise that he's like a mosaic, with every crack, scar and time, I fall deeper in love with him."

A smile laced mom's lips, her eyes swirling with all sorts of emotions I couldn't put a finger at. " And that's the beauty of love, Gabriel."

I stayed in her arms a little longer, relishing her warmth and security she gave me, the same way Xander could.

" I've hooked you up with Pablo, the CEO of the Fine Arts Museum, the bidding will take place after New Year's Celebration. What a great start to the year, isn't it?" I could sense the effort mom was trying to put in to crack a smile on my face.

Feigning happiness, I nod. " Thank you mom, I'm sure it will be." Getting to her feet, she ruffles my hair before heading to the living room.

I flop back down on my bed, gripping on the sheets on my bed, letting the memories flood through my mind - it was bittersweet and over the years, a small part of me enjoyed reminiscing them.

Doubt still hung at the back of my mind. To think of it, no sane person would wait 4 fucking years for a person they believe to love. After all, there was never a stamp to prove that that person shared the same feelings.

But yet, my lovesick self never once admired another man for the past 4 years like the way I admire Xander each day.

I Guess life is both a risk and recovery, the past 4 years would fall under recovery and probably even, self growth. I had to find myself a little before I could give myself wholeheartedly to Xander.

And a small part of me was Glad that I had such a break.

A very very small part.

A soft knock on my room door, catches my attention once more. Kai leans causally by the edge of the door, the ends of his lips tilted up. I noticed the highlights in his chocolate hair was now lagoon blue instead of the previous platinum grey.

" You up for the diner?" My heart sank a little, Xander would have loved to dance away there along with a smoothie in his hand.

" As long as you're paying for it," I counter with a cheeky grin.

" Only because I feel nice today!" Kai hollers before turning his back on me.

With a sigh, I collect myself together - it's another day to pull through without him, but I'll do it.

I'll do it for him.

Because I love Alexander Wilde and nothing will change that, is just a mere vessel.

You'll come back Xander, I know you'll come home...