I couldn't believe it. Jason was dead. Gone. I'd never see my twin until I myself die. I also couldn't believe the pain. It was all on the inside, so why did it hurt on the outside? It was like I was standing in a fiery furnace, my entire body in agony, wishing I could just end it all and turn into a pile of ashes. Yet I couldn't. I couldn't do that to my friends, to my boyfriend.

Gods, Percy. He was probably wondering where I went. Everyone else in camp was being productive, and there I was, wallowing in self-pity, like a ghost who died in a war and thought they were the only one to die, the only one to feel pain. Pain. It was like that's the only place my thoughts could stay in, an area of storm I couldn't escape, no matter how hard I tried.

Not that I tried that hard.

I closed my eyes for a moment, touching my tear-stained cheeks with my shaking hands. I opened my eyes and gazed at my hand for a moment, then looked slightly below my wrist, where my scars were. I couldn't take it.

~ ~ ~

I knew I promised Percy I'd never cut again, but there I was, razor in one hand and newly-reopened scars on the other. I looked at the blood flowing from my wrist, and then watched it trickle to the floor.

Drip, drip, drip.

There was a knock on the door.

"Styx," I murmured, looking around for a bandage, a piece of cloth, anything that could hide both the blood and the scars. There were a few more knocks on the door, these ones more urgent.

"Y/n?" My boyfriend's voice was slightly desperate--scratch that, extremely desperate. I rushed to my bunk, hiding my bleeding arm in the blanket and putting the razor under the pillow.

"Come in." My voice sounded broken. Percy tried to turn the knob.

"It's locked," he called, and I realized how sad his voice sounded. I mentally slapped myself. Of course he'd be sad. I wasn't the only one who knew Jason. It was selfish of me, really, to stay in my cabin. Then I remembered the problem at hand. I wiped the blood on my blankets, hoping it would magically stop flowing before I had to inevitably unlock the door. No such luck. I sighed, then got out of bed, walked past the creepy Zeus statue, and unlocked the door. Percy immediately enveloped me in a bear hug.

"Gods, Y/n, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He pulled back slightly so he could see me, but kept me in his embrace. I could do nothing but sniffle at what he said and try to hold back my tears, which was impossible. I wiped my eyes with my injured hand, forgetting for a moment about the blood. Then I froze, and so did he. I used the silent moment between us to look at his face, and noticed tear stains on it, meaning he'd been crying, too.

"Y/n..? Are those... You told me you'd stop." He frowned at me for a second, then embraced me again.

"I'm here for you," he murmured. "I'll always be here. Please, please come to me about things like this. Please don't resort to this again." He then took my hand and dragged me to the Poseidon cabin, grabbing a bit of nectar from a cabinet and all but forcing it into my mouth. He took me back to the Zeus cabin, closed the door, then spun around and looked at me for a moment.

"Where's the razor?" At that, I nodded in the direction of my bed, and he marched over, one of his hands holding my wrist, and found the razor within 10 seconds. He went to the window, opened it, and threw the razor out of it,most likely hitting some unsuspecting camper in te process. The he sat down, pulled me into his lap, and wrapped his arms around me. We sat like that for a while, our tears mixing. Then, after about half an hour, I finally spoke.

"Percy?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you." And we continued to sit there for hours.