The cold droplets of harsh September rain, fell from the clouds hidden within the dark indigo sky above you, as though tears falling from blistering weary eyes. For they fell with a conviction so strong, that you could very nearly feel the pain in which they plummeted towards the hard ground below your feet. The rainfall was heavy, a storm slowly beginning to brew in the shadows of the darkening night. The atmosphere encircling you, as you stepped out into the soaked grass of the front lawn, held a chill that you felt instantly pierce through your skin. Past the layers of fabric tightly wrapped and styled around your figure, meeting your exposed flesh in an uproar of sensitive goosebumps. Instinctually, wrapping your arms around yourself, finding no source of noticeable warmth in the action, but there was a security in which your tightly wound hug provided.

Your lips parted slowly, releasing a deep breath that faintly blew away in the wind that whipped your loose tendrils against the base of your exposed neck. The incessant rain soaking every strand of your delicately styled hair, feeling as it began to weigh heavier upon your shoulders as your heels trudged through the freshly cut grass. The night around you was all consuming, for it was as though the threat of an impending thunderstorm had forced all of the stars to simply cease shining. Leaving in it's place a level of darkness, stretching far across the vast horizon, that you could almost feel in the depth of your chilled bones. The kind of darkness that demanded to be felt, as though it screamed it's eerie silence at the top of it's lungs. But even as the rain saturated the exquisite ice blue silk that flowed down your frame, feeling the moisture trail down your face and drip down your back from your drenched tendrils, as your lips parted against the chilled wind, it felt as though the first truly deep breath you had inhaled the entire evening.

For you could feel the cool rush flowing through your lungs, the release in your chest as though it had been tightly clasped in the crushing grasp of a strong hand. Your lips parted further, all but panting at the pure sensation of relief and freedom soaring through your veins, feeling the rainfall glide across your slightly pink tinged lips. Your eyelashes fluttering wildly against the slick nature of your cheekbones, the growing rainstorm soaking them instantly, as your eyes slowly began to close. Sealing out the darkness surrounding you for miles to come, banishing away the reflecting glow coming from the ball ensuing within Aubrey Hall behind you.

You could still hear the faint hum of gloriously played instruments in the background air, the clarity of melodies lost in the rush of rainfall, but the low rhythm of the piece thumped softly through the night, continuing to grace your ears with the magical music keeping the party live and well. Tilting your neck back slightly, your sheltered sight angled upwards towards the starless sky, allowing for the rain to fall freely down your face. As though your closed eyes and parted lips, breathing shallow breaths through the blowing rain, was a silent signal to the hidden clouds above to give all they could. For as the harshness in the rainfall increased, blowing in an anger within it's darkening swirl of strong wind and piercing cold droplets, you could feel the heat that encapsulated the entirety of your body suddenly extinguish.

The environment you had managed to discreetly escape, was undeniably beautiful. For out of all of your husband's properties, Aubrey Hall was by far your favorite. Although it was anything but small in size or subtle in it's flawless features, there was a quaintness to it's structure, a warmth to it's interior that you couldn't help but fall in love with. It wasn't that the house was an environment in which you wanted to escape, if anything, you yearned for the weekends spent in the breathtaking serine countryside. It was when large gatherings within the captivity of four confining walls made your chest feel tight. There was a comfort to Aubrey Hall that made the balls and overwhelming engagements with the ton all the more barrable, but despite the warm surroundings, something about them still made your heart thunder and your lungs constrict with thinning breaths.

But out in the rushing pour of icy cold rain, you felt the tightness holding your chest captive begin to ease. The heat that had boiled you from within, the anxiety that clutched ever so tightly to your aching heart, the suffocating swirl of your scattered mind, calmed the instant the clear countryside air entered your lungs. You could breathe finally, after feeling trapped within the clutches of a high society that looked to you with a gaze that presumed your life was crafted of pure magic and fortune, all the while, feeling as though you had never felt more without in your entire life. What was your husband's was suddenly yours and yet the one thing that you truly wanted from him, you feared he'd never be able to give. He'd welcomed you into a world of financial stability, exquisiteness far grander than your dreams could ever fathom, beauty and admiration, a family so tightly knit it made your heart swell every time they gathered together in the same proximity and still, the most valuable thing you could ever want, was locked away in a chest that you didn't have the key for.

"You are bound to catch a cold out here in this storm!"

His words called out to you in a sudden gust, startling you as though a clap of thunder rattling from the skies. Feeling the strong shake in your bones, as your eyes flashed open and your head whipped around in the direction of the familiar voice. Your heart hammered against your ribcage, feeling the drumming beat in the very tip of your tongue. The abrupt but powerful rush of adrenaline burned through your veins, as your lips parted wide in alarm, panting for a deep breath through the whirl of chilling raindrops. The wind had picked up speed along with it's strength, for it blew the falling rain with a vengeance that made the scenery around you seem to blend together, as though a streaked watercolor with differing shades of darkness. But even as the wind howled and the impending thunderstorm balanced delicately on the very edge, the sight of your husband had never been more clear.

For Anthony Bridgerton stood amongst the rainstorm just like you, his entire being drenched in the wickedly cold moisture that saturated his clothing. His boots planted firmly against the freshly cut grass, that was beginning to collect small puddles of moist mud beneath the weight of his stance. His coat, that was a shade of black so dark it nearly blended into the shadows of the night, soaked up the rainfall and let it cascade down his broad shoulders as though a trickling waterfall. The white linen of his shirt was nearly see through, completely sodden and the faint sight of it beginning to cling to the outline of his muscles, made your tongue sweep across the bottom of your parted lips. Forcing your gaze to shift upwards towards his face, feeling the tightening of your chest beginning to creep back in. His hair hung low across his forehead, the styled messiness it usually possessed was now soaked and smoothly matted against his scalp. The raindrops dripping down from the ends of his dark brown strands, trailing down the sides of his face and into the nape of his neck.

"What are you doing Anthony?"

You despised how meek your voice sounded as you finally addressed him, after a few silent moments passing the both of you by, whilst standing in the midst of a strong rainstorm. He was far enough away from you that if you reached your hand out, you wouldn't touch. But he stood close enough that you knew your gently spoken question hit his ear with a certain level of clarity, despite the rushing rain and howling wind encircling the two of you.

"Someone asked me where my wife was," Anthony began to explain in a soft exhale, his boots making a faint sloshing sound as he took a tentative step towards you. His movements calm, composed, smooth as his right hand rose from his pocket and rubbed at the trail of rain against his jawline. "I realized I hadn't the slightest clue to her whereabouts myself."

Anthony's footsteps stopped, as he'd only taken a single step with each foot forward, barely decreasing the space between the two of you. You realized that his action was a calculated one, for there was a certain anxiety that came with his presence growing closer. One he was used to exhibiting in the world of business, an ease to intimidating and gaining access to the kinds of deals he wanted through his charming yet stern expressions. But unbeknownst to him, the tactic he exhibited with you had nothing to do with an intimidating gaze or hovering shadow. Instead, it was an internal suffocation that his close presence and gaze forced upon you. For there was a pain that came with being so close to him, an ache in your heart that thundered harshly within the restraint of your chest. One that he might never know, but one that had forced you out of the ball this evening, craving a moment without the pain clutching your heart as he stood beside you amongst the sparkling crowd.

The very edge of his lips faintly began to perk upwards, toying with a cross between a rakish smirk and a boyish grin. Never becoming full blown, just the whisper of amusement dancing against the corners as it flashed within his steady gaze, his left brow raising with a look of anticipation. "What are you doing out here?"

Your eyes felt wide as you stared ahead through the blowing rush of precipitation, even as they squinted through the piercing wind and blinked repeatedly as the rain trailed into your sight. Your lips were still agape, but no words fell from them. Nothing teetering on the very tip of your tongue, you found yourself often left breathless in his presence, especially in private and unintentional intimate moments such as this.

Staring at Anthony, as he stood unbelievably patient in the downpour as though he hadn't a single better place to be, you found yourself wondering how it was possible for him to stand so composed before you. How he always appeared so pristinely intact and unfazed by his surroundings, by the moments he spent with you as he did tonight. How you undoubtfully felt you were the only one effected by the waltzes you danced at events like these, the way his hand would clasp yours as you went around together conversing with guests, acting as though a couple without a single hindrance in the world. You saw the gazes of admiration and longing in the eyes of the women you spoke with and passed by, there was a guilt that filled your aching heart, for you felt as though you were living a lie while promenading around the grounds with Anthony. A lie you so desperately wanted to believe, for your own heart was there, beating harshly for this man you had the privilege of calling your husband. You only wished his beat with the same thundering rhythm.

"I required some air," You decided upon as your softly spoken response, realizing you could only keep this drenched man waiting for so long.

Anthony's eyebrow inched higher, as the amusement shadowing in the corners of his lips began to expand into a growing tight lipped grin. For he kept it subtle, pressing them together as though to suppress his mirth in your timid response, but there was a slight glint in the light swirl of his eyes that spoke clear of his enjoyment. "I find myself inclined to tell you there is plenty of air left inside, with a great deal less precipitation might I add."

Finding very little amusement of your own in his sly remark, his words dripping with a teasing undertone, as the subtle swirls of deep amber in his eyes burned with a roguish enjoyment he couldn't possibly hide, your hands lifted from your sides and proceeded to wrap your arms tightly around yourself once again. Feeling the shivers racing through your body, the rain having soaked every corner and crevice of your body, leaving it vulnerable to the chilling wind that danced and nipped against your slickened flesh.

The sloshing sound of Anthony's boots trudging through the deepening mess of fresh mud, made your focus suddenly return to him in its entirety. Sharpening on his figure growing closer, leaving only a few mere feet between you, as he stopped just short of arms length. He must've sensed or seen in the stillness of your expression, your lack of appreciation in his lighthearted banter in a rather comical situation, standing like sopping wet dogs out in an impending thunderstorm. For the amusement in his eyes faded back to the original deep shade of brown, the edges of his lips flattening back out into a still line, but his eyebrow remained raised. This time holding a different emotion in his intense gaze.

"Allow me to take you back indoors," Anthony's voice had grown softer, not in tone as it still rung out with the same strong conviction it always seemed to hold. But the volume in which he spoke to you, had mellowed out, not soft enough to become lost in the storm but gentle enough that it didn't feel as though he had to shout through the gusts of powerful wind. "warm you up, I can see your shivers from here. I'll have someone retrieve dry clothes for you to change into, while you sip some tea to speed up the warming process."

Butterflies erupted in the pit of your stomach, fluttering their way up into the depths of your chest, swirling around furiously close to your heart as you caught his gaze. It felt as though Anthony himself, had opened the net, allowing for them to fly free into the most vulnerable parts of yourself. He had always held this ability, you realized in the silence that followed his kind urge he presented as though an offer you could refuse. For the butterflies that made the air harder to breathe and the nerves in your stomach bunch into a million tiny knots, had been the same ones there from the very beginning.

"I can't." Your whisper hits the wind and you're surprised it doesn't ricochet back into the tightening of your throat, for you can feel the sting of tears beginning to pierce the very edges of your eyes. Begging your emotions to calm, pleading for the tears to stay at bay, but you know the longer you stand here so closely to Anthony, they're bound to fall.

His raised brow falls, furrowing both as the lines of his forehead present in soft shadows. "Well, pray tell why that is." His sardonic tone did not escape you, for it dripped with each syllable he spoke. His head had just faintly cocked to the side, his eyes narrowing as he waited impatiently this time for your expected response.

"I--I--" But as you stared at Anthony's face, somehow miraculously illuminated in the shadows despite the lack of a light source in the sky above, you found yourself scrapping at the roof of your mouth for the words, only to realize that they had escaped you the moment Anthony's lips had parted to speak.

"I implore you," Anthony gestured with a slight nod of his chin, flexing his hand outwards at his side as though to display to proceed. "give me one bloody good reason as to why you are to fair better out here in this blistering rainstorm, rather than accompany me back indoors where--"

You weren't sure where his sudden surge of anger stemmed from, the frustration boiling over and spilling into the words he snapped through the harsh howl of the surrounding storm. Perhaps it was the way you denied his request, refusing his help and possibly wounding his male pride. Maybe it was the fact that he had trudged all this way, only to find that you weren't to accompany him back indoors after all. But the part of your heart that thundered loudly enough that the sky above hadn't yet needed to, peered longingly into the possibility that maybe Anthony's sudden spout of anger was because he truly wanted to get you back inside. He wanted to warm you, dry the rain from your shivering body, care for you as a loving husband does for his dear wife. It was the final notion to completely overwhelm your aching heart. For as it had begun to breathe out in the serenity of a silent rainfall, the moment Anthony appeared behind you seeking you out, it tugged harshly with a throbbing pain that made your chest tighten immediately. This fantasy ideal that began to bloom in the hidden part of your mind, as you stared at Anthony's expectant gaze, was the final ache to fully collapse the heart you had tried to keep together in the eyes of others.

Anthony wanted a reason and so, with all of the exhaustion, bravery and honesty you held tightly within yourself, you let it all fall as freely as the rain around you.

"Because I love you!" You hardly recognized your own voice, as it shouted in a strong gust of air replicating that of the wind blowing powerfully around you. The immediate arch of Anthony's brows told you he was just as taken back by your sudden release as much as you were, but watching his eyes widen, you knew you couldn't possibly stop. The truth had been released from your tightly held protection and so you continued to spill everything that you had held back. "Anthony... and I can not, I will not, continue forth with this charade as though I never have."

"I know you do not love me, I know you may never." You could feel the simultaneous tear of your heart, their strings nearly ripping at their seams and the freeing sensation of releasing a truth you had kept hidden so deep it began to eat away at your soul. "But I can no longer stand the thought of seeing your face from across the room or at night when you retreat from my bed chamber, even staring into your eyes when we waltz at a ball like this, all the while holding onto a secret that burdens my heart."

You felt completely breathless. Any trace of air that had once swirled around in the depths of your lungs, had since dissipated into the roaring atmosphere. Taking with it, all of your initial reservations and fear of Anthony finding out this secret you had buried deep down in your heart. You felt as the last of your deep breath, the anxiety that had held you captive the entire evening, blew away into the swirling nature of the harsh spitting rain around you. Everything that had held you back from expressing any glimpse of your true feelings thus far, simply disappeared within the shadows. Leaving you with a breathless euphoric feeling, a freedom that you could feel drumming through your veins like an entirely separate heart beat. It was a frightening sensation, for you knew that you could never come back from this confession. Nothing with Anthony would ever be the same. But something about standing out in the freezing downpour, before the man who owned your heart far before he ever knew he held possession, finally expressing all of the feelings that you held within yourself that were beginning to wear down your very soul, was an opportunity and a feeling of liberation that you knew you couldn't ignore.

"When you take my hand in there Anthony," Your words stopped suddenly, as you swallowed a lump growing thick in the base of your throat. As though the words teetering on the very edge of your tongue were protesting their release, forcing you to think about them one final time. "I grasp tightly to your hold, because I never want to let it go... because I never want to let you go."