Eddie sluggishly made his way to the basement thinking he could play video games and get his mind away from the real world. He sighed to himself when he rounded the corner and spotted Dana and Katie on the leather couch. Katie and Dana were laughing, most likely at some lame joke Dana had made, and they were both lying down on opposite sides of the L-shaped couch with their heads almost meeting at the corner.

Dana sat up and peered over the couch when she heard Eddie. "Hey Ed, we were looking for a movie to watch. Do you want to join us?"

Eddie shook his head slightly before speaking. "D, no offense but, can't you two actually go out on a date instead of hiding out in the basement like you have been for the last two weeks?" Dana's face saddened. Not because of what Eddie said, but because she felt bad for her cousin. Eddie wanted to give the world to Grace, but Grace wanted someone else's world.

"We're not dating, Ed." Dana absentmindedly corrected Eddie.

"Wait," Katie, who was also now sitting up, sent Dana a confused look. "We're not?"

Dana turned to Katie. "I mean we haven't actually gone on a date yet. Plus, when did we ever talk about this?"

Katie shrugged slightly, "Well I mean we haven't but-"

"Guys!" Eddie whiningly interrupted. "Can you go bicker like an old married couple somewhere else please? Or, like I said before, do yourselves - and me - a favor and actually go out on a date." Eddie's eyes made him look like a lost puppy. His eyes had been like that for the past two weeks now. He hadn't smiled his signature goofy smile, or even made a dumb remark to Dana since the night Grace rejected him. All Eddie had done the past two weeks was sleep, go to school, eat, and avoid as much human interaction as possible. This had been the most he had spoken to Dana all week.

Dana pulled out her phone and looked at the time. It was only ten in the morning. She slid her phone back into her jeans and looked back at Eddie. "Okay Ed, I'll give you a present since it's Saturday." Eddie furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly, confused. "The basement to yourself." Dana stood up from the couch and glanced at Katie. "You coming?" She asked.

Katie nodded without saying a word and followed Dana up the stairs. Katie stopped and looked at Eddie. "If it's any consolation, Grace is an idiot. She's an idiot for not seeing how amazing you are and letting herself love you." Once in the kitchen, Katie spoke up. "He doesn't know. Does he?" Katie's own face had a look of depression, or in this case sympathy.

Dana shook her head and released a heavy sigh. "Please. If he knew, I don't think he would even get out of bed."

Eddie walked into the kitchen and blankly stared at the two girls in front of him. "I forgot my phone." He announced, pointing to the phone resting on the counter. Eddie grabbed the phone in between them and hesitated before asking, "What happened?" Neither girl spoke up. "What don't I know?" Eddie asked again.

There was a brief silence before Katie spoke. "It's Grace and Jesse."

"They're dating?" Eddie asked without skipping a beat.

"No." Dana quickly answered. "But they are talking again. And Ashley and Mason saw them together last night. I don't think they're dating but-"

"They're hooking up?" Eddie interrupted. "Cool. Good for them." Eddie couldn't help but sound bitter.

Dana took a step forward. "Eddie-"

"Don't." Eddie stopped her. "Dana, nothing you can say can make me feel any better right now." Eddie snapped at her. "You always get the girl. And even if you end up heartbroken at least you get all those good memories of when you two were happy together. I don't. I don't get the girl. I don't get the memories. All I get is the broken heart."

"Eddie-" Dana attempted to speak again.

"No, you're right." Eddie's volume had now increased, and his voice became shaky out of anger. "I shouldn't be so hard on you. After all, your parents did just die. Oh wait, that was me." Eddie paused, but Dana didn't dare to speak up. Katie's head was now hanging, avoiding Eddie's eyes. "That's why you can't make me feel any better, Dana. Because you have no idea what it feels like to lose everything."

"And you do?" Dana snapped back, becoming defensive. "You're not the only one who has ever suffered, Eddie. You may have lost your parents, but you weren't the only person who loved them. I lost the two most incredible people that I ever met. Your parents were my aunt and uncle, and I loved them just as much as you did."

"Fine." Eddie held his hands up to surrender, and lowered his voice. "Just like always, you win."

"I win? When do I ever 'win', Eddie? Tell me that." There was another moment of silence and Eddie stopped talking, realizing he had misspoken. "Exactly." Dana's voice was calm now and back to its usually soothing self.

"I'll be in the basement." Eddie left without saying another word.

Dana awkwardly turned to face Katie. "Sorry." She softly apologized. Katie couldn't help but smile at Dana. "Want to go on a date? A real one?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"You'll just have to wait and see." Dana smirked at her. They made their way to the garage door, but stopped when they heard Eddie from downstairs.

Dana quickly realized he was on the phone, leaving a message for someone. "Hi...it's me...again..." Eddie's voice was choked up, and he was clearly fighting back tears. "I just...I don't know, I just I miss you. So much. And I wish you were here. But I know wishing that just makes me delusional. I just want to hear your voice. And I keep calling...knowing it's no use. But I still do it... praying that someday maybe someone will answer. I love you..." Dana could tell Eddie was now crying. "And I need you... But you're not here. And I hate you. I hate you because of that. And because you were never supposed to hurt me. You were supposed to be there to make smile when no one else could. You weren't supposed to leave. Not like that. I'm sorry..." Eddie could barely speak now. "I'm so sorry..."

Dana opened the garage door. "Come on." She whispered to Katie and they made their way outside to Dana's car.

"Was he calling Grace?" Katie asked climbing into the passenger seat, not being able to help herself.

"No." Dana's eyes saddened slightly as she made her way into the car. "His dad."

"You mean his...dead...dad?"

Dana nodded. "The number is still in service. Ed calls it every now and then... he used to call a lot more right after his parents passed. He knows that his dad won't answer or even hear the messages, but part of Eddie is still hoping someone will. And deep down he knows the only words he'll ever hear from the other line are an automated message telling him that the number is no longer available, but until then he keeps calling. He's knows that if he calls enough, eventually someone is bound to respond." Dana glanced at Katie. "But don't worry about him." She smiled. "Today is our first official date." Dana proudly announced, still smiling.

"Wait," Katie's eyes saddened again. "We're going out? Like... in public? Like... where people we know are going to be?"

"No," Dana reassured Katie. "I know that you're a little insecure and aren't used to this yet. And I plan to make our date perfect and amazing."

☼ ☼ ☼

Dana drove a little more than forty minutes until they reached their destination. Katie had been the designated DJ for the car ride and Dana and Katie sang along like the goofballs they were. "Okay," Dana turned the car off once they were parked. "Here we are."

"The zoo? We're going to the zoo?" Katie beamed like a kid winning a trip to Disney.

"Yes." Dana laughed at Katie. "Are you excited? I can't tell." She teased.

Katie lightly hit Dana's arm. "You know, sometimes your sarcasm hurts." Dana laughed at Katie again.

They spent the next few hours at the zoo, spending time and enjoying their first date. Dana and Katie eventually made their way to a room with one wall made of glass. It was part of the tank in the penguin exhibit, and you could see the penguins diving and swimming and catching fish through the glass.

Dana and Katie found an alcove across from the glass where they sat and watched the penguins. Katie felt the corners of her mouth form a small grin when she looked over at Dana. Dana was gawking at the penguins. Katie teased Dana for it. "Hey!" Dana joking acted offended. "Penguins are cool. You can't deny that."

"I think penguins are great." Katie admitted. "But you seem way more fascinated than I do."

"For good reason. Penguins are incredible." Dana began to explain her fascination. "Did you know that some types of penguins mate for life?"

"I've heard that before, yeah."

"Well when they find the penguin that they want to spend the rest of their penguin life with the male goes on this search for the perfect pebble." Dana went on. "It's like their engagement ring. And they have to find the perfect one - the one that will make her say yes. Then once they do, they bring the pebble to the girl penguin and lay it at her feet and the girl chooses either to accept the pebble or not. And once they accept it, it's like they're bonded. The penguins chose each other, and no one else. And if one penguin dies or gets lost, the other will spend the rest of its life alone searching and waiting for their penguin. They would rather be alone than with another penguin. When a girl penguin accepts a pebble, she and the boy penguin promise forever, and that's what they give; he's her forever and she's his."

Katie waited a moment before speaking. "You're such a sap." She chuckled.

"Oh shut up," Dana teasingly pushed her.

"What did you mean earlier?" Katie asked Dana after the two stopped laughing. Dana looked at Katie, confused. "When you said you never win." Katie clarified.

"Oh," Dana looked towards the penguins, avoiding Katie's eyes. "Um..." She struggled to get the right words out. "I-I just have to deal with a lot of shit." She glanced back at Katie. "Do you remember one of the first times we actually talked? When I drove you to Ashley's sleepover thing?" Katie nodded. "And I almost forgot my pills, but Ed threw them to me?" Katie nodded again. "Depression is one of the reasons I take medication. But that's the least of my worries... I hate doctors. Because every time I go back, they just seem to find more and more problems with me...and more meds to put me on...and another problem for me to add to all my paperwork and medical forms. Look, I like you, Katie. A lot. And I feel like if we're going to be together, it's only fair of me to tell you." Dana paused, not knowing how to go on.

"Dana," Katie could swear her heart stopped in that moment when Dana refused to speak. She feared the words Dana struggled to say. "Are you...?"

Dana smiled at Katie, seeing look on her face. "Dying?" Dana finished Katie's question for her. Katie swallowed, nodding and Dana laughed in reply. "Oh, god no." Katie gave a sigh of relief, finally being able to breathe again. "No, I don't have cancer or anything. Sorry." Dana paused again and her gaze locked back on the penguins. "I won't bore you with all the little issues I have, but... the biggest one..." Dana's glance dropped to the ground. "I'm bipolar. And it's really hard. Like reallyhard." Dana looked back at Katie. "You know the mood swings typical teenagers get? Well my mood swings are ten times worse, and my emotions are about a million times more intense than that."

"I had no idea. You always seem so calm and-"

"Controlled? Yeah well it's easy to put on a happy face to the world and act like there's nothing wrong. But I am fighting a war with myself – with my own mind – every single second of every single day. And I have my bad days, but then I have my worse days. And on my worse days, I-I don't know if I can take it. I am dangerously close to the edge, and sometimes I feel like my worse days are enough to push me off. You know that Jensen Parker album Robot Heart?"Katie nodded at Dana's question. "I've never related to anything more. Shutting down and leaving are two things I do best."

"You better not go anywhere." Katie smiled.

Dana laughed at her. "Well lucky for you, I'm one of the strongest people that you'll ever meet."

"So what's it like?" Katie asked. "What are you fighting right now?"

"A lot of things. The people talking are irritating me just because I get irritated easily, so I'm fighting the urge to yell at them. And I'm angry for no reason, so I'm fighting the urge to hit someone and get into a fight. But the strongest thing I'm fighting right now...is the urge to kiss you."

Katie's cheeks quickly became flushed. "Well I don't about the first two problems, but I can definitely help with the last problem." Katie leaned in and kissed Dana. Kissing Jesse was never like kissing Dana. Dana was gentle, and soft, and familiar. Kissing Dana was easy, and Katie loved it. She loved that her lips fit with Dana's the same way their hands did – perfectly. Dana pulled away from the kiss which felt all too soon to Katie.

"Wait. We're in public." Dana realized. "You kissed me in public."

Katie shrugged. "I guess when I kiss you the rest of the world just disappears." Dana smiled at Katie. Katie leaned her head on Dana's shoulder and interlocked her hand with Dana's.

"Katie, I don't want to hurt you." Dana spoke out of nowhere. "I'm a ticking time bomb. And I'm usually really good at pushing people away and keeping them at a distance so I can't hurt them. But it's not working with you. At any second, I could explode. I don't want to do that. I can't let myself hurt you."

"So don't." Katie replied. "Don't push. Let me in." All Dana could do was smile at Katie. No words would ever be enough. Katie broke the small silence between them. "Can I ask you a weird question?"

"Of course."

"What were Eddie's parents like?"

Dana was surprised by Katie's question. "Well," Dana thought about it for a moment, "his dad was a huge nerd." Katie laughed. "He was just a big dork. And he had a great sense of humor. It was his biggest, brightest, and best quality. He was always cracking a joke. Eddie is a lot like him. His dad actually bought me my necklace when things started getting bad." Dana was referring to her silver chain with a pewter pendant that had Saint Jude Thaddeus in the middle with the words 'St. Jude Thaddeus pray for me' surrounding him. "St. Jude Thaddeus is the patron saint of lost causes. Ed's dad knew that's exactly how I felt – lost." Katie stared smiling at Dana, almost studying her face - her beautiful, irresistible face. "And everyone thought his mom was way out of his dad's league." Dana continued. "She was the type of person you wanted to hate because she was so perfect, but you can't because she was just so genuine and kind and real. And she was gorgeous, which made you want to hate her even more."

Katie laughed again. "She sounds like my aunt Katherine."

"Katherine?" Dana thought about the name. "Is that who you're named after?"

"No, actually." Katie shook her head. "Katie isn't short for Katherine."

"Really?" Dana asked. "But it is short for something?" Katie nodded. "Katerina?" No. "Kathleen?" No. "Okay, one last guess. Katelyn?" Nope. "Okay, I give up. Tell me."

"You can't laugh." Katie lifted her head from Dana's shoulder. Dana gave her a look, but promised. "Katie is short for Katrina."

"Like the hurricane?" Dana only smiled. She struggled not to laugh.

"To be fair, I came before the hurricane."

"You're still both disastrous."

"Come on, you buffoon." Katie stood up after checking her phone for the time, not letting go of Dana's hand. "I know you have to work tonight and it's already four." They walked out of the zoo, Katie not letting go of Dana's hand until they reached the car.

Dana and Katie were on their way home, and Dana was in the middle of a sentence when she interrupted herself. "No way!" She excitedly turned the volume up on the radio.

"I'm guessing you like this song?" Katie chuckled slightly.

"Like? This is my favoritesong. Ever." Dana began to sing along, turning the volume up even more. "Just a few more hours...and I'll be right home to you. I think I hear them calling. Oh Beth, what can I do? Oh Beth, what can I do?" Dana glanced at Katie quickly before looking back at the road. Dana noticed Katie smiling at her. Dana grabbed Katie's hand and continued singing. Katie kissed the back of Dana's hand. "I plan to name my daughter after this song." Katie laughed a little at Dana. Dana smiled at her. It was a different kind of smile and Katie noticed.

"What?" Katie asked.

Dana shrugged, still smiling. "You make me happy, Katie Torres."

Katie smiled lightly, "And you make me crazy, Dana Thomas."