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Isaac was fuming. Never in his life had he felt so betrayed and his mother abandoned him. Part of him felt like he was being over dramatic, he could understand why Freddy never told him, he was always going to react badly to the news of whatever the fuck was Freddy and Elliot. However, it was still the biggest fucking dick move a person could make. The fact that Freddy never told for three years hurt. Isaac told Freddy everything and Freddy apparently didn't tell him anything. Just like that the one person Isaac could rely on the most made everything seem like a lie.

It had been the longest they hadn't spoken to each other since they had met. Freddy had tried for two weeks; he called, he texted, he cornered him at school and even rocked up to his house on multiple occasions. He eventually got the idea and left Isaac alone. It only made things worse when Gabby had told Isaac that Caggie wasn't talking to Freddy either. He felt bad that he had caused a rift between the siblings, but he was happy that their friends were also mad at him as well. He hadn't just lied to Isaac he had lied to all of them too.

The most frustrating thing was Jake and Elliot seemed fine. Even though, Jake and Isaac weren't talking about it. They couldn't stop talking about it for about three days, Isaac manly ranting about it, Jake being confused. Then Jake had spent the day with Elliot. For them everything was good, Elliot had explained and Jake was happy with that. Isaac didn't understand at all. It was only more infuriating when Jake wouldn't tell him what Elliot said, he kept saying how it wasn't his place and maybe if he talked to Freddy he would explain properly. Isaac hated how nice and loyal Jake was to Elliot.

It was a joke. He didn't want to talk to Freddy. He wanted it to all go back to when he was blissfully unaware of Freddy and Elliot. He couldn't get it out of his mind. Just the thought of Freddy parading with Elliot for years behind his back made him nauseous. He wasn't sure he could ever talk to Freddy again, let alone trust him. It was too much. It hurt. Isaac didn't know what to do. He just wanted everything to be normal again.

Isaac had planned on being miserable for a long time, but he forgot that he and Freddy were practically the same person at this point. So, when Isaac went to seek refuge away from everyone in the climbing frame in the playground that only ever had drug dealers in it, of course Freddy was also there. The awkward moment when they locked eyes. Neither of them said anything. Freddy shamefully looked away, pulling his legs up to his chest and resting his chin on his knees. Most of Isaac wanted to kick him in the shin and leave, the tiny part of him won out though, because he dropped down opposite Freddy. He supposed he'd have to get this conversation over with.

The sit in silence for what feels like forever. Freddy looking down, not even trying to make eye contact with him. It should annoy him, but it only makes him feel giddy, it feels good knowing that Freddy feels that bad about it, he can't even look him in the eye. Isaac decides he's going to make Freddy feel worse. He's going to make Freddy feel the way he feels.

"You're a giant prick." He starts, jabbing his foot hard into Freddy's shin. Freddy doesn't say anything which only makes Isaac angrier, "What you don't want to talk all of sudden? All you ever do is talk."

Freddy winced at Isaac's tone. It's harsh and Freddy knows Isaac means it. Isaac kicks him again, it's harder than the first one. Isaac's getting more frustrated by the second.

"Fuck you Freddy." Isaac goes to stand up, to leave his friendship with Freddy in tatters behind him, but stops short when Freddy speaks up.

"What do you want me to say?" He sounds so defeated and Isaac's heart drops.

"I don't know." Isaac sounds equally as defeated, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Freddy sighs, "How was I supposed to tell you? You hate him. I hated him."

"Then why did you carry on if you hated him?" Isaac asks genuinely, he's curious he can't even begin to understand how Freddy finds Elliot enough to shag.

"Does it matter? You hate me now, I don't blame you." Freddy shifts again, seemingly trying to shrink further into himself.

Isaac hates him at the moment, he truly does, but Freddy was his best friend, his brother, that doesn't just switch off because Freddy was a dick, "I deserve to know why you lied to me for years."

"I didn't mean to lie to you. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I didn't even realise how serious everything got until I was in too deep." Freddy does sound sincere, he also looks close to breaking down. It shakes Isaac because he doesn't think he's ever seen Freddy look like this. Freddy is the put together one in their friendship group, he looks after everyone and in that moment Isaac has to question who looks after Freddy. The idea that Elliot is the person makes Isaac sick. He doesn't like Freddy, but he still feels bad that he's been ignoring Freddy's struggles without realising it.

Isaac decides that even though Freddy isn't his favourite person right now, he wants to hear what the hell happened between Elliot and Freddy, "Tell me how the devil's spawn seduced you and why you let him."

For the first time since Isaac's stepped into the climbing frame Freddy's looking at him. He looks shocked and then he's laughing. It doesn't last long, but it makes Isaac smile for a second.

"He tried to snog me in a toilet in year eleven."

Isaac can't breathe. That was the best thing he had ever heard. Elliot Johnan tried it on with Freddy in a toilet. What a desperate little slut. Isaac was going to hold this over him forever, "He did what? Why?"

"He liked that I bossed him around and he was struggling with his sexuality." Shrugs Freddy nonchalantly, like he wasn't giving Isaac the best blackmail material ever. Elliot was a closet submissive gay who had a daddy kink. It was too much. It was pure gold.

"Tried? You didn't let him?"

"Well, up until that point I had never thought about boys like that. Then Elliot of all fucking people was throwing themselves at me. I guess my brain was like I don't hate this idea. It was intense and weird." Freddy's shrinking back into himself again, he rests his head back on his knees, looking timidly at Isaac.

Isaac imagines it must be hard telling someone that their gay awakening was Elliot. It was tragic, "Did you have a gay crisis over Elliot? Oh my god, that's disgusting. Thank you for not telling me about it. I would've run you over with a car. Elliot?"

"I was going to tell you, but then we fucked and you two had a fistfight in the middle of English and I realised that it was a terrible idea."

"I did beat the shit out of him." Isaac smiled, remembering that day fondly.

Freddy's laughing again, shaking his head at him, "It just got out of control. We were arguing all the time then we were fucking. Feelings got involved, his dad got involved and it just stopped. I didn't think I'd have to tell anyone about it."

"What do you mean his dad got involved?" Isaac knows already what it means, but he wants to hear Freddy tell him.

Freddy stares at him for a second, questioning him, but he starts to talk again more softly and Freddy knows his hurts him. That he cares for Elliot enough to be angry on his behalf, "Elliot was always paranoid about getting caught. I thought he was overreacting, but I went along with it. We were kind of together at this point, we had just started talking about feelings. We got a bit reckless and his dad caught us." He stops for a moment, taking a shaky breath, "He went crazy. He literally threw me out the house. Elliot - it was just bad. He shut me out completely. We didn't talk for ages. I thought that was it."

"But, it wasn't?"

"You're gonna hate this." Freddy smiles meekly at him, "We were in love. I love him, Isaac. We couldn't stay away from each other."

How Isaac missed that Freddy had fallen in love with someone was beyond him. It was almost a heartwarming story, but it was Elliot and Freddy, so that took a lot of the romance out of it. Even though Isaac loved Freddy, he was his best friend and it was nice seeing him talk do happily about someone, the nagging feeling of betrayal and hurt was still there. He couldn't get over that just yet.

"You said the last three months it had gotten serious." Isaac still can't wrap his head around it completely, but be understands it better. Sort of. Not really.

Freddy nods, looking slightly sheepish, "I dunno we just kind of got our heads out of our arse's. We're boyfriends, proper boring monogamous boyfriends."

"I wouldn't call a daddy kink boring."

"Oh my god, shut up, don't tell anyone about that." Freddy laughs hard, his head flying backwards as he does, "It's so fucking weird."

"You are not daddy material at all."

"I know. He's just all kinds of fucked."

It hurts sitting there with Freddy, just talking, having fun with him. Freddy must sense the change in the air because he stops smiling and shrinks back into himself again. Then, they're sitting there in awkward silence again.

"I know you're mad. I don't blame you. I didn't handle it well. I was scared. It's not an excuse, I just didn't know what to do." Freddy says, running his hand sneakily through his hair, "I don't blame you if you don't want to talk to me again. I broke your trust, I know how hard it is for you to trust people."

"I do wanna talk to you, Fred. It's just I'm hurt you lied. I feel like everything we've done had been a lie. You've hid part of yourself from me when I've given you everything." Isaac feels like he's going to cry, "I just need some time."

"Ok, I can give you that."

Isaac stands, nodding towards Freddy before going to leave when Isaac stops him.

"Isaac, you know I love you, right?"

"I know. I love you too, Fred."

And for the first time in weeks, Isaac feels better.