JC

I spilled the truth, most of it anyway. I can't stay silent forever and I have a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me something is coming. The depression and negativity seems to float in the cold air, but at the same time desire and passion did too between Theo and I.

I remember when I decided during my first heat that I wanted to give up and just go to Theo. Now, I feel like I've brought a huge mess back with me. Rogues are targeting me for some reason.

Jared mentioned that they think I'm evil, but that's stupid and they were just brainwashing the kid.

It's not stupid because it's not true, it may be. But it's stupid because rouges aren't exactly good either. They are the definition of an evil werewolf, maybe 25% are good rouges who just have a bad past.

I wonder how Jared's doing, I'm worried about him as if he's my little brother.

I mean eventually I would have found him a nice pack home to live in and take him. It's hypocritical for me to be running away from those who love me, but let a fourteen year old boy tag along for the ride. It has always been my plan to be alone, but I couldn't leave Jared in a bad situation.

Throughout this journey of running, I've always managed to actually never be alone. Drake found me within the day and then after a week or so I ditched him, which I feel bad about frequently.

Then Jared came along and taught me a valuable lesson, even though I've close to ignore it till now. He said, "Just because it may look evil, doesn't mean it is." Maybe it isn't, but I don't think I could forgive myself if this part of be gets out of control.

It feels amazing, exhilarating, and powerful to use these abilities. It helps my body from feeling so weak sometimes. I should feel powerful anyway just from my wolf, but its like both have 50% control of my body and how it functions.

Theo though, awakes another side of me that I can't even imagine explaining. He's sweet, compassionate, and protective. I know he hates seeing me locked in her, it must had been the Alphas and Luna's idea. I want to know how much they know about me and what they think.

More than anything else though, I want to see my mom and hug her. I want to tell her I'm sorry about how I've treated her all these years and how I treated her the last time we were together. I feel ashamed at my actions.

Sure, I'm locked up now, but what if I told my Alpha when all of this first started? Maybe I would be in a different place, maybe I would be different. Instead, I let this side of myself scare me into thinking I would be disowned or become a horror story.

Who would want that?

I hear footsteps coming down the stairs and his scent hits me immediately. I hope I don't look like a mess...who am I kidding? I look like ridiculous. I've ran my hands through my hair so many times the blonde locks are oily. I'm still in the same robe and pj's as yesterday evening.

Theo comes in to view and he gives me a slight smile, and I return a nervous one. I'm nervous every time he comes near. Both his and my heart rates quicken and attraction shifts through both of us.

I never took time I notice Theo's features. His sharp jawline and dark hair drives me crazy. A part of me wants to unlock these locks and jump into his arms and kiss him passionately. Then there is the other part, that doesn't want to risk it.

Back at the gas station in Tennessee, one touch from him was all it took for me to have no control over this odd side of itself to make a appearance.

Usually, I can control it. Something always wakes it up however. I've only noticed it to be connected to fear or rage. But what if it's also connected to the touch of my mate?

That makes everything I have ever done worth it, but it's just a theory. If it's true it doesn't make any sense.

"Here's some clean clothes I found in your bedroom." Theo says and puts the clothes between the bars for me to grab them.

"Thanks." I mumble and give a small involuntary smile. That's the mate connection for you. My desire and feelings for Theo can not be contained. The little control I have left is what I can hold on to.

Go to Mate. My wolf says. She hasn't stopped pushing me to unlock the cell and go to him. She knows that would scare everyone, maybe even Theo.

I go through the clothing and find long sweatpants, a grey over sized t-shirt that smells strongly of Theo, a bra and underwear.

I wonder how much time he spent searching for the perfect pair of underwear, because these two are a matching set. I set that out of my mind and directed my attention back to the T-shirt.

I look up to Theo and he's waiting for my reaction. "One of your shirts?" I ask, feeling the soft fabric in my hands.

He raises his eyebrows and puts his hands in his pockets awkwardly. "I thought maybe you would feel better having that."

It's a nice gesture and I have to fight back a negative response. I'd like to tell him that I don't need it, because I don't want to get too close to him. But I do still need it. I slept most of my heat off, but I still had desire lingering in my bones.

"Thanks again." I say. I am ready to get out of this PJ set and robe. It has food stains all over it from when I was driving and eating and Jared was throwing food at me.

Funny kid, that actually would have worked any other time.

"You're welcome. I hope you don't mind, I've been staying in you're bedroom." He says looking for my approval.

"Why?" I ask even though the reason is obvious.

"I need to be close to you. Alpha James will not let me stay down here, even though I've asked. So you're bedroom is the closest I can get." He says this unapologetically and truthfully and I nod.

My heart melts by his words and I push a strand of hair behind my ears. "Understandable."

I sit down on the bed and Theo pulls up a chair to the cell, which I didn't expect.

"So tell me about yourself." He say and puts himself in a comfortable position on the chair. I'm surprised, so I'm speechless at first.

"I don't know." I say awkwardly. It shouldn't surprise me that my mate wants to get to know me. It should flatter me.

"Okay I'll ask questions and you can answer."

I can see he is clearly interested so I nod. "What's your favorite color?"

"Green." I respond right away.

"Mine's orange." I cringe, because the color is hideous to me. Theo laughs seeing my expression. "That's what other's think when I tell them that."

Other... girls? Jealousy sets in and I feel myself getting upset. This isn't me. I can't do one thing and think another.

"Favorite animal?" He asks another question which distracts me some.

"Wolf." I instinctively say.

"No other than that." He shakes his head.

"Maybe a an ostrich?" This time he laughs and I laugh too.

I realize that too late and turn to my neatly stacked clothes. "I need to change."

"Of course." He says a little disappointed, but gets up. "I'll be back soon."

Then he leaves and I sink back in the pillow that rests on the wall. Just a couple of questions and I already feel more connected to him than before. I can't let this happen, or else I won't be able to leave if things get worse.

I'm super thankful that he wants to get to know me even after what I may be, but it just feels wrong. Like I'm making a bad decision letting him in.

I just need to remain distant but corportative so I can get some real answers.