That's the word that I would use to describe myself at this current moment. Completely and utterly dead.

The first time I ever felt this feeling I was seven, and I just walked in on my mother trying to stab Angie. But then, Angie somehow got control and stabbed her first, making my mother drop to the floor, blood seeping around her like a blossoming crimson flower.

I didn't remember too much after that. Just Angie crying and the police ushering us out of the house, and the flash of the paparazzi and newscasters. But that feeling.... it was unforgettable — the sensation of murky blackness and decaying nothingness slithering through my veins like a flesh-eating virus, consuming everything yet destroying nothing.

My therapist called it shock. Maybe. I just knew nothing good followed when I had that feeling. From previous experience, only bad things followed. Like now.

"Will all the losers please get their lazy asses up and stand in a line across the west wall," Jookie said, flying around on the platform above. "Please and thank you — hugs and kisses."

My body wouldn't move — I couldn't move. Throbbing pain and the awful odors of my body and everything I just endured — piss, shit, vomit, sewage — consumed my entire existence.

The only thing that would move was my eyes, and I saw that I wasn't alone. Layla sobbed, still never moving. Chi sobbed too, her tears glistening down like tiny chocolate balls because of her filthy face as she slumped near the bug pit.

I couldn't see Aries, but I spotted Yaz slumped up high on the cake device, almost halfway there. Annoyance colored her symmetrical face. She slowly started to backtrack down, body trembling.

"Hurry up, bitches! Get up. We have shit to do today," Jookie said, losing his cheerful demeanor. What the fuck was wrong with his ass?

He flew over our heads again for a couple of seconds more before bringing the platform to the ground, stepping far away from the cake device so that he was on clean flooring.

"Now, fuckers! Move it!" Jookie clapped his hands on each word, face frowned, eyes slitted. "Get up you fucking losers."

The sharpness of his tone brought a spark to my body. A tingle began in my fingertips, extending throughout my entire body. It felt like an annoying ache at first, mixing with the pain in my muscles until a numbness flooded through me, easing the pain and stiffness.

With Jookie berating us the whole time, it took us at least fifteen minutes before all of us losers were able to drag our disgusting bodies to the wall. All of us looked and felt like shit.

I never wanted to go through something like again, but I had the strangest feeling that the challenges would just get worse.

"Let's clap for our fabulous winners, everyone," Jookie said, pointing to the top pillar of the cake where the six winners waited. He snapped his fingers, causing the pouring blood to stop and for clean, dry steps to emerge on the lethal device. "Please come down and join us."

All of them — Khan, Sebastian, Rucker, Demo, Fee and Gmie looked filthy like us, but they had something we didn't. That look of relief. They knew that they wouldn't be on the chopping block like us. They'd live to see another day.

Looking at them made my blood bubble, but when Gmie grinned at me, that right there created a fire in my tummy, blazing like a forest fire, wanting to consume everything.

Don't let her push you.

"Let's give a round of applause to our first place winner, Khan!" Jookie sidled closer to Khan, a huge grin sliding over his face as various cameramen followed behind him. "Congratulations, Khan. You've been like a wolf in this competition so far. Silent and stealthy, but somehow you became this beast and conquered this challenge. How did you do it?"

Face blank and tone even, Khan stared at Jookie. "Just kept low and hoped for the best."

"Well, it worked," Jookie said before moving onto Sebastian. "You were another strong contender. Right behind Khan the entire time. Good job!"

Sebastian smiled and inclined his head toward the cameras. Jookie moved down the line of winners, congratulating them with Gmie being last. Even though he was talking to her, her eyes never left mine, a victorious smile etched on her dirty face.

The fire in my belly surged, teetering toward its highest point, wanting a release. A release that would only be satisfied with seeing Gmie's blood and feeling her take her last breath.

Whoa bitch. Sadistic, much?

"Gmie. Gmie. Gmie." Jookie tsked his tongue at her, shaking his head as he looked from her to me. "You pulled a dangerous stunt earlier. You decided to sabotage Betinia at literally the very last minute, why? Didn't everyone agree not to do things like that?"

Sebastian glared at Gmie. "Yeah, we did."

Gmie shrugged before wiping a dead bug off her shoulder. "Yeah, we did, but so what? At the end of the day, this is a game—a competition. And that bitch had to go."

Jookie grinned, batting his blue eyelashes. "Is that also why you stabbed and tried to kill her earlier tonight? With Demo and an unknown assailant?"

"Wait, what?" Yaz muttered, looking from her to me.

Some of the other contestants had similar expressions of surprise, but I didn't zero in on any of them. My entire focus was on Gmie.

That fire within me went black, turning into a fiery, dripping tar, spreading throughout my body like the blood coursing through my veins. All of this was her fault. If she didn't attack me earlier with her minions, I might've had enough energy for another shot up the cake.

Jookie giggled. "By the looks on some of your faces, not many of you knew about the attack. Or maybe none of you wanted to help, my poor peach?"

"No one likes her! Cause she's a weird bitch who needs—" She never finished that statement.

I dove for that bitch, pouncing on her like a lion on a gazelle, the black fire sprouting from my tummy to my ears, pounding fast. We slammed into the ground with me on top, sliding across the floor like ice skaters.

I punched her in the face, her head knocking back into the concrete floor. "I'm a weird bitch, huh? I deserved what I got, huh? HUH?"

"I've been waiting for this, y'all," Yaz said from behind me. "Anyone got popcorn?"

"Get off me," Gmie screamed, nails clawing at my face while blood leaked from her nose.

Instead of following her orders, my fist slammed into her face again, feeling that black anger surging through me, not satisfied yet. Icy pain nipped through my knuckles from the punch, but I ate that, winding back for another blow.

But long nails pierced the skin on my neck, pulling me away from Gmie.

"Leave her alone," Demo yelled, digging her nails into me before grabbing my hair. Before she could get a good grip on the strands, I elbowed her in the stomach, hard. Her body dropped, mouth groaning.

Gmie took that opportunity to smack me across the face. "Crazy bitch."

My head whipped to the side from the assault, a slight ache materializing in my cheek before completely dissolving because of the anger still radiating within me. Her smack only fueled it more, bringing it to volcanic status.

I slowly spun my head to face her, narrowing my eyes before getting to my feet. My fingers snatched this bitch by her hair, pulling her toward the pit of boiling bugs. Her voice screamed the entire way as she wriggled her body back and forth, trying to escape, but she wouldn't escape this time. No, bitch. You were mine.

"Am I the only one who finds all of this just utterly delicious," Jookie said, running over to me, cameras right behind him.

I tossed Gmie into the boiling pit, and she went in hollering at the top of her lungs, hands scratching at the air. Once she hit the slimy surface, she sank fast like an anchor. Sticky insects crept up her skin, covering every available part of her like a glove as she screamed, sinking deeper by the second. It took only six seconds for her to go completely under.

But her annoying ass didn't stay that way. She kept jumping up and down, trying to stay above the surface, slick bugs slithering across her eyelids, cheeks, and hair in the process.

She tried to hit me, arms flailing around, but I just laughed before grabbing her, fingers entangling deep in her hair. And started wailing punches on her face, each hit killing bugs and causing pain to rocket up my arm, but I ignored it and kept going.

Only stopping when her face resembled thick blood and white puss from the dead bug bodies embedded in her skin. Then, I pushed her head into the pit, holding it completely under so she couldn't breathe. Her body thrashed around and her nails clawed at my skin, trying to get me off, but I wouldn't let go.

No. This is wrong. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

Feeling Tini completely consume me, my hands pushed her further into the boiling bugs, letting them completely cover her body. They crawled up my arm and neck in the process, but I didn't care.

I just wanted her dead, no matter the cost.

♟♙♟