Sorry for the late update, guys! This chapter was extra-long, so it took some extra time to edit/get right. I'm still not completely happy with it, but I hope you guys like it! Also, I wanted to put a on this chapter because it does get really dark/depression, even some suicidal thoughts, so if that's a trigger for anyone, feel free to skip this chapter :)

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I almost tossed my iPad across the room in frustration, but I paused. Jookie did love to fuck with me, but what if he was really giving me a clue? But what if he wasn't?

My mind tried to grasp onto Tini and her feelings, but it felt like nothing was there. Just air. I was really on my own now.

That whole mother-live-audience thing must've been too much for her, even if she didn't want to admit it. Or maybe I was wrong?

I shook my head, staring down at the riddle again. I didn't have time to ponder such stupid things. I needed to find a way to survive the voting session, and that seemed impossible at the moment.

It seemed like almost everyone was against me, but could I blame them?

The way that Tini dissected that body — a delicious shiver whizzed across my chest at the intense memories. Fresh saliva formed at the corners of my lips, and I wiped it away, severe shame tickling my tummy.

Who would want someone like me around them?

I shook my head, needing something to get me out of my self-loathing because it felt like I was getting ready to go under, drowning in myself.

The black words of the cryptic riddle filled my vision again before slowly slipping off the tablet, swarming into the dark room like an army of cicadas on a mission as I continued to brainstorm the answer.

Within minutes, the letters formed in front of me, giving me the answer.

Huh? What did that mean?

A notification flashed across my tablet — Layla with more bible verses and messages of her calling us all monsters and sinners. Unholy.

Still, I shuffled through them, reading them, and that's when I noticed that most of them were sent to all the other contestants, but some were only sent to me.

The ones sent only to me were weird.

One said, "Lily...."

Another said, "Lily, forgive me."

One said, "I miss you, Lily. Please."

And the final one said, "It didn't have to be like this. I love you, Lily..."

Who was Lily? Why was she sending these to me? And no one else?

I swiped the messages away, not bothering to respond to them. I didn't have time to figure out what Layla's deal was, not when I needed to find a way to not get voted off.

But how did I do that?

Jookie mentioned that there were other ways to get out of the bottom three, but how? I couldn't put someone in my place or substitute myself somehow, so what did I do?

And Jookie's clue made no fucking sense!? AH! Why did he send me a riddle that didn't fucking help me with my current issue? I didn't give a shit what happened next because I might not even be here to fucking experience it?!

I spent what felt like hours trying to think of something and only came up with emptiness. That's when my mind started to replay my interview with Jookie, stopping on the love life questions.

I snorted, thinking of Jonathan. I wondered what he was doing now — now that I was gone. Was he searching for me with Tim or Angie? I didn't think of him much here, but I fell asleep with him on my brain and dreamt of our days together.

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I awoke to flashing lights on my face. My eyes blinked, trying to adjust to the sudden bright assault. It took me a moment to see and clean the sleep crust from my eyes, and that's when I saw more messages from Layla.

More bibles verses mixed in with more Lily messages, most of them darker than the previous ones.

What was she trying to accomplish? If we were all monsters, she was one too. Why else would she be on this show? I almost replied, a mean response swirling in my head, but I stopped myself because I knew it wouldn't accomplish anything.

I checked the time on my iPad and it said that it was eight o' clock, meaning I've been sleeping for a whole day. My stomach hurt, and everything ached.

I tried trudging my mind for more ways to maybe save myself, but still nothing. Clicking off the tablet, I laid back down, joining the darkness again, knowing death was coming soon.

I heard knocking on my door again, but I ignored it, going back to sleep. Why bother to answer? I had no real friends or allies here.

Over the course of my life, I spent many of my days alone, but there were only two times I ever truly felt alone — in the psych ward and

There was no Angie, no Tim, and no Tini. Just me. Alone.

Wetness formed in my eyes, streaking down my cheeks as my chest hurt, spikes of pain stabbing into my veins and organs until my inner woes of agony pulled me into a deep sleep.

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My skin felt hot and sticky, and a bit of body odor prickled my nose.

Feeling my eyes trying to adjust to the darkness, the flicking light of my iPad made that a bit easier. Of course, it was just more notifications from Layla. More dark and morbid verses and more Lily messages.

Ignoring them, I closed my eyes, wanting to return to the familiar painful slumber, but Tim flashed in my mind.

"Laziness is for the rich and stupid. Be proactive. Go solve your problems," he said, voice like a wind whispering in my ears.

Hearing his voice in my head made me chuckle. Solve my problems? Trying to survive a murderous game wasn't like getting over a breakup. It wasn't that simple.

"Start small," he spoke again. "Just get up."

My body didn't want to move; it wanted to just lie there even though it ached from the hard floors and lack of movement. How I longed for Khan's bed and Duke...

Duke.

His goofy slobbery face formed in my mind, making me feel less alone. I needed him. I didn't say goodbye to my Duke, so I wanted to see the new Duke again.

It took all my strength to get to my feet, hobbling to the door like a newborn calf in the same sweaty dress I've been in since my interview two days earlier.

With my hands shaking, I grabbed the knob, opening and forcing myself out the door with my heart pounding in my throat. I had no idea what I'd say if I ran into someone.

What do you say to people who were just talking about you earlier? Or to people who had your life in their hands?

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Every step outside my room made my body cringe, that internal agony screaming in my ears, wanting me to return to my slumber, but I kept on.

The hallway was empty. Not a soul. But I heard light laughter, which increased the pain inside me, turning my blood to soot.

It took only minutes to get to Khan's room, and I did that without running into anyone. My palm knocked against the door, not knowing what to say to him.

Would it go good or bad? Awkward or normal? More options rustled through my brain while I stood, immediately stopping when Chi answered the door.

A look of surprise colored her gorgeous features, her rich hair lazily piled up into a bed-head bun. She smiled when she saw me, and her pink nails tugged at Khan's shirt, which was currently covering her naked chest.

At least she had shorts on too.

Chi never spoke because Duke continuously barked behind her until he spotted me and flew over, scratching my feet, whimpering.

Ignoring him, I stared at her. "What are you doing here?"

An arrogant grin hugged her shiny lips. "I got scared last night, so I spent the night." She giggled, twirling a piece of her hair. "Khan's such a giving person."

Even a blind nun would know what she meant by giving.

Several seconds passed of me just standing there, looking a hot ass mess, before Khan appeared behind her, face blank and shirt missing.

"Betinia," he said when he saw me.

Gripping Duke up, smashing him into my chest, I booked it to my room, never looking back. I didn't want to hear anything he had to say.

I slammed my door and rejoined the darkness yet again, lying on my back. Gmie turned everyone against me.

Khan.... Chi fucked him to get him fully on her side so that he would go against me. I let out a bitter laugh. Chi was hot. Who wouldn't want to fuck her?

Plus, men had needs and being locked up and forced to participate in a bloody game probably intensified those needs.

Why did I even care? He was nothing to me. It didn't even matter why I cared because the important thing was that all my options were gone.

Going down the list, I had no one.

Demo, Chi, Aries, and Gmie were definitely voting for me. Guaranteed. Rucker would do what was best for himself in the end, meaning I was a risk to him, which meant he was voting for me.

Fee was a wild card. I would say that Sebastian would be on my side because he said he cared about me a lot, yet he barely defended me when Gmie was calling me fucking crazy.

Khan was fucking Chi now, so that was another vote against me. Tini tried to kill Layla, so if Layla didn't vote for me I'd be truly shocked.

Yaz might be my only saving grace because she hated Gmie as much as I did, but she might be like Rucker and want to get rid of a big threat like me.

Even if Yaz was on my side, it was still two versus nine others. Thin strings of defeat splashed into my senses, making me black out.

The last thing I heard was Duke barking in my face.

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A wet tongue licked at my eyelids, waking me from my depressive slumber. I sneezed, feeling drool trickling down my cheeks and lips, a bright light stabbing at my eyes.

Blinking, my eyes opened to the dimness, only the light of my flickering iPad illuminating the room. Duke whimpered, nudging me with his wet nose, pawing at me.

My body resembled pounds of rocks, every movement heavy, draining me of the little energy I did have left. My curiosity broke through the heaviness, wanting to get to my iPad.

Crawling over to it, I instantly regretted it. Just more messages from Layla, and two messages from Gmie.

Gmie's first message said, "Your days are numbered, bitch. :)"

I lost it again, falling into my internal torment again. It hurt. Savage claws of decaying murkiness scratched at my existence, choking every part of my beating soul until it almost drowned me.

Until memories of the past swirled to the surface. My mother's face appeared in my mind like a 4k movie, so clear and bright. It wasn't a mask this time but really her. And I wasn't seeing her as I did now, but seeing her as I did before that day.

It felt like I was five again, seeing her as the most radiant and beautiful creature I've ever seen. She was the most important person to me. She was my everything. My air. My soul. My mommy.

Tini...

I wanted to experience this with her — to let her know that it wasn't all bad, but she never came forth.

A screeching scream left my throat, hands smashing onto the wooden floor, saliva dripping from my lips as the odor of my filthy body consumed me.

I opened my eyes, trying to breathe as I stared down at Gmie's second message.

I'm going to enjoy watching you die.

She was such a bitch. Breathing hard, I closed the messages and searched the cameras for her, finding her exiting the kitchen with Demo, laughing like she didn't have a care in the world.

When they turned the corner, Layla ambled toward them, looking horrid. Crusty lips. Pale skin. Deep circles under her eyes. Clothes dirty.

I zoomed in on the scene, putting the volume on max.

Layla, still walking, kept muttering something to herself, shuffling forward like a zombie. She stopped at the wall and whispered before nodding like she was listening to someone. Then she let out a soft laugh and continued forward.

Gmie nodded to Demo when Layla passed, and Demo turned around, pushing Layla into the wall hard.

Gmie snickered, watching Layla plummet to the floor, blood leaking from her forehead. "You're going to stop sending everyone those creepy as messages, alright? You're fucking pathetic, you know, that right?"

Layla shuddered, sitting against the wall. "I'm t-trying to cleanse your dirty souls — you're al-ll monsters." Blood dripped down her eyelid, flowing down her cheek, as her eyes never moved from the ground. "Zimmie was right. God wants me to cleanse you all. I hear it in my head. It's my purpose."

"You're fucking crazy," Gmie said, nodding to Demo. "Pick her up."

Demo snatched Layla off the floor, making her stand. Layla stumbled, and Gmie pushed her against the wall.

"Remember this," Gmie said, staring at her. "I choose whether you live or die, so you better stop pissing me off. And if you want to continue living, you'll vote for Betinia in the next session."

Layla jerked back, eyes going dead. "Monsters! A-all of you." She began to sob, nails scratching at her face, spreading the blood all over her cheeks. "L-lily, I'm sorry."

Gmie curled her lips in disgust. "You're a sorry excuse for a human being." She smacked Layla, making her fly back into the wall again. "You will do as I say. Stop sending those messages, and you better vote for Betinia."

Then she grabbed Demo's hand, and they continued laughing down the hall.

What the fuck? Gmie thought she was in charge of the game now since everyone was siding with her. Why couldn't everyone see that she was only out for herself? That she didn't care about anyone else, and that everyone was giving her exactly what she wanted — me dead.

Those unanswered questions brought intense rage into my body, making everything lethargic as large balls of unbearable pain formed at the base of my neck, sliding down my spine like bowling balls.

It was too much, not even painkillers could conquer this suffering. Legs trembling, every part of me started to move, until it became uncontrollable like a seizure, anguish wails leaving my sore throat.

Duke moaned and licked my skin, trying to calm me, but it just increased until my breathing completely shut down. Eyes widening, my hands latched around my throat, trying to suck in air but nothing filled my lungs, and I passed out.

And that's how I remained, going in and out of cold consciousness with pain shivers while my mind flashed with old memories. All while Duke scratched at my skin, begging me to get up, but I never did.

My mind and body would no longer listen to me. Why would they? I was as good as dead anyway. Might as well just do it myself. I wouldn't give Gmie the satisfaction of seeing me die to my worst fears like Tiran. Never.

"You gotta play the game," Jookie said in my head.

I didn't want to play anymore. I crawled to the bathroom, using my hands to grip the sink and stand, staring at my features in the mirror.

Duke barked at my ankles, and I ignored him, continuing to stare at myself, hating what I saw. Weakness. My fist punched at the mirror, glass and blood dripping into the white sink.

Fishing out a big piece, the glass sliced my palm as I squeezed it in my fist, staring at my neck. Duke headbutted me in the knees, making me fall to the floor.

He climbed on top of me, licking me. His eyes said he needed me, but that wasn't enough. Squeezing the piece of glass, before I could aim, doggy teeth nipped into my wrist.

"Ouch!" I cried out, dropping the glass, rolling back and forth on the tile floor, pain arching up my shoulder blade. It took minutes before the pain subsided, and I sat up, glaring at Duke who gave me a look that said, "Stop being stupid."

Moving my fingers back and forth, trying to relax them, Duke hobbled over to me, licking my wound for a second before laying his head on my lap, collapsing like he'd been up for days.

My fingers touched his fur, feeling his beating heart under my tips, knowing that if I died his heart might stop beating too. That made my chest tight.

I closed my eyes, fighting the burning trembles coursing through my body until my lips began to cough uncontrollably, black smog pouring from my mouth.

Eyes widening, the thick haze continued to pour from my lips in a stream, cutting off my breath as it swirled around in front of me, forming into an identical shadow figure of myself.

"You're being stupid," the shadowy figure said in front of me.

I really must be losing it. "What the fuck—"

"Just shut the fuck up," the shadowy figure said. "Do you want to die? Honestly?"

"No," I whispered without even thinking. There was still shit I wanted to do in life.

"Then fight," the shadowy figure said. "And that doesn't have to be physical fighting. Fighting comes in many forms and not all games need to be won with physical strength."

"It's too late," I whispered, hiccupping.

"It's never too late," the shadowy figure said before dissipating, only Duke's snoring remaining.

What the hell was that? I shook my head. It didn't matter. I pondered over their words, trying to decipher what they meant until it clicked.

Physical fighting wasn't the only way to win. Gmie wasn't using physical strength to get everyone on her side. She was mentally manipulating them — mental play.

I needed to do the same, but mental play sounded like something Tini could do better than me, and I didn't have her anymore.

Her absence almost brought tears to my eyes again, but I stopped myself. She created me, not the other way around. I could do this on my own. I would.

I stayed that way for a while — just sitting in the bathroom, humming to myself while petting Duke until the tremors stopped, and I could breathe again.

Leaving Duke to sleep on the floor before getting to my feet, I turned on the lights, the brilliance burning my eyes like holy water on a demon.

And I went into the bathroom and showered before standing in front of the rack of clothes that Jookie left in my room, deciding on a dark rose dress that fit tight.

Letting my hair hang down, the blade heels completed the outfit. Picking up the iPad, I realized I had less than twenty-fours to fix my fate.

Those dark tremors filtered up my spine again, that familiar self-loathing returning, but I inhaled, telling myself that I would be okay.

Then I walked out the door, knowing my odds were against me, but I had to at least try.

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