Alec sat in his empty room after coming from down stairs. He had dinner with his parents and had to sit through the whole time listening to them praise jace for following in there foot steps. They spoke about him with so much love and affection it made his chest feel heavy.

He as a first born tried to be the role model of the family but no matter what he tried he was never good enough. When jace had started to play for there highschool he had joined the archery team. His patents never missed a game but didn't come to any of his track teams.

Once it was his birth day and his team had gone to state champion ships and he was looking in the crowd but he hadn't seen a single familiar face. Later after they won he went home to find his family having a barbecue to celebrate jace's team win from the night before.

When he finally came out to his parents there were out raged but jace had told them it was natural thing and that he was bi which helped them come to accept him.

When he got his first boyfriend jace had flirted with him as a joke and magnus thinking he had a chance with the blond had broken up with Alec after taking Alec's first time.

When jace joined a modeling agency after college Alec started interning for a magazine. But he always found jace's pictures laying around the house and none of his articles.

Now sitting in the dark room he listened to the rest of his family talk and laugh. He felt sick to his stomach at what he was about to do. He never thought he was this week but he couldn't handle it any more. He wanted an out and this was it.

He leaned back on the head bored and uncapped a bottle of jace's pain killers. He took them out on his hand and started swallowing them one by one.

Later when the bottle was empty he three it to the bottom of the bed and waited for the drugs to take effect. With a sigh he closed his eyes when his body started feeling like it was floating.

Visions of ever disappointment came to him and he let them look him to a dream less and final slumber. His breath gradually went slower and slower and like that his body started feeling light. And with a finally breath he whispered. "Love you too" no the no one who told him they loved him and held him tight.

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