《데뷔 || Debut》D-28
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We were in our dorms and it was close to midnight. Another day has gone in a blur. I do not even remember half of the things I ate today.
Did I even eat today?
I start thinking from the moment I wake up to right now.
I'm pretty sure I did eat. What did I eat though? Did I eat with the girls? Wait who did I eat with?
Yep, I'm overthinking it who cares if I ate as long as I'm alive it means I did. I'll eat something early tomorrow. What should I eat though?
"Are you thinking about food unnie?"
Heejin sat next to me on the bed. They know me so well. I love being an idol...I just love food too much.
That's almost every person in this company. We love food too much that we do not listen when they tell us to diet.
"Of course not...I want kimbap tomorrow which will be today in a few hours."
"Ya y/n! You aren't even sleeping yet and you want food for tomorrow!" Yuju stared at me and I pouted. She laughs and looks inside the mini fridge we have. She handed me a granola bar that what she called is organic.
Out of all of us, she is the healthiest. Followed by Sunhee who's mother always brings us food to make sure we eating real food.
"Y/n are you sure you are okay?" Doyeon looks up from playing her guitar. She has been playing since she was small and is really good at it. Beomgyu once performed with her for Yoongi's birthday.
Yoongi...he didn't say anything after we recorded.
No. We won't let this get to my head.
"Me? Yeah, I'm fine. You know that...I'm just excited! I mean we are actually going to debut in less than 30 days."
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They look at each other and then turn back to me. Heejin is rubbing my back as Sunhee sits down next to me placing her head on my shoulder.
"What's going on?" I ask them seeing how they all seemed like they were acting weird and it felt like they wanted to tell me something.
"You know you can trust us right?"
Shoot.
"Yeah.."
"You know that if you like someone we still love you."
They know.
"I know."
"Even if it is someone from the company. Dreamlike isn't dreamlike without you."
What do I tell them?
Tears slip down my face. I don't even realize it until I see it fall to the palm of my hand. I stare at the floor not wanting to make eye contact with them. All I see is their feet in front of me and my hair falling in front of my face. I see Yuju's feet come closer and she kneels down grabbing my knees.
"You are not okay right?"
That's it.
When was I okay? Even during our trainees, I didn't feel like I should be here with all of them. They took me in like family and I could never be more grateful for that.
"I'm...not okay. Unnie what do I do? I want to tell the person I like I like them. But he thinks I don't like him. I don't want to hurt Taehyung either. He has been nothing but a sweetheart. He doesn't deserve me to just dump him."
"Taehyung wants you to be happy. So you should tell him how you feel rather than hiding it. And with the person you like. While I may have an idea who it is you have to be straight forward with them. That boy you like isn't exactly sure of his own feelings maybe."
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"Also unnie if the guy doesn't like you back then he doesn't deserve you."
Sunhee hugs me making sure that I receive her happiness.
"Do you think?"
"I know so. Sleep on it tonight and decide when you are ready. But tell Taehyung how you feel. Seriously."
"I will don't worry."
That night Sunhee and Heejin slept in the same bed instead of her top bunk Doyeon and Yuju slept in the same bed as well since we spent the rest of the night talking. I couldn't sleep. I was thinking of their reaction as I rapped the lyrics. I looked at the top bunk waiting waiting and waiting for some sort of sign.
A sign...that's what we all want. I look towards the girls and mess with their hair. Slowly my eyes started closing to the point I fell asleep.
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