NEITHER OF US COULD SLEEP THAT NIGHT.

Hades had settled himself into the couch, a bottle of wine empty by his feet. A second one lay clutched in the tight grip of his hand as he stared at his fingers, the wine, the bubbles on its surface.

By the fire, Cerberus curled himself into a ball in my lap as I wrapped the heavy shawl around my shoulders. It was all I could do to do nothing but just look into the depths of the flames, watching them flicker and dance and twirl in the shadows.

"Persephone," Hades spoke in the darkness, his voice hoarser than gravel. "You need to sleep."

My fingers kept playing with a frayed thread lingering on the edges of the shawl, even as my eyes refused to leave the fire roaring in the grate.

"Perse," he said again, softer.

"I'm fine."

The glass echoed against the floor in a dull thunk as he put down his bottle, leaning over to look carefully at me.

"Perse," he said again, and this time, his voice was filled with heartbreak. "I'm so sorry about the child, Perse."

My mouth was dry. There were no tears left in me. None at all. Only the ashes remained.

His tear stained face was all it took to break me into pieces all over again.

All of this - all of this had happened because of me. His listless, restless gaze, the pain in the depths of his eyes, those countless goblets of wine that could not help. All of this happened due to me.

"I should never have come into your life."

Eyes wide, he clasped my hand in his, feeling the goose flesh erupt all over my arm. He traced a finger over the lines on my palm, his gaze unreadable.

"Don't say that."

"It's true," my voice was breaking like crumbs in the wind. "It's true. None of this would have ever happened if I hadn't come into the Underworld."

"I took you away," he said quietly. "You are not to blame, Perse."

"You found me because I was screaming. I shouldn't have-" I raised my hand to wipe the stray tear escaping my eye, finding him there before me, softly brushing off the moisture clinging to my lashes. "I should have kept my mouth shut and... and let them have had their way with me."

He shot up, his face ashen, eyes horrified.

"Don't say that," he hissed. "Never say that."

"She would have found me sooner or later. In whatever state... she would have found me, Hades. And I could go on living there long enough to not make your life a living hell."

He shook his head, livid.

"Don't-"

"What have I done since coming here, Hades?" I shot out. "I spurned you. I scorned you. I led you on and pushed you away. Again and again. I repeatedly went against your warnings to go to Tartarus. I got Hecate killed. So many innocents die due to the plague my mother caused looking for me!"

That hurt - that bitter, bitter part of me refused to stop hurting, rising up in my throat like a wave of nausea, the burning, burning feeling of guilt. I started all of this. All of it.

"I got you killed, Hades."

"Your mother decided to stab me before you even said a word," he said quietly, cupping my cheek in his cold hand. I shuddered at his touch - it was wrong. It was all wrong. He deserved better than me. I deserved to not let him suffer with a pitiful, miserable wretch like me. "You had the guts to refuse her the one thing she wanted, Perse. She wanted those Gates open. She wanted the creatures behind it to hurt me. And you - you did what no living woman would have done. You agreed to let your fealty to your people be stronger than the love you bore me."

"It's wrong," I whispered. "I still opened those Gates. I let my emotions get the better of me," the dryness of my throat was making it harder and harder to get the words out now, each of them sharper than a piece of jagged, crimson stained glass. "Proving once again, that I am nothing but a spoiled girl who destroys everything she touches."

"You did that after she stabbed me! Because you were angry. Because you were furious. Because you wanted to avenge what she did. The moment you looked in her eye that day - Perse, she knew. She knew. You would not open the Gates. She did the only thing she could do to stop hurting. She wanted to make that pain stop. I was the man who ruined her life, her life which she wanted back. So she killed me. She would have killed me if you refused to open the Gates. Or she would have killed me after you did. Either way, my rose," he whispered, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "I was going to die that day."

No. No. All because of me. This was all because of me.

"Once again," I said quietly. "Once again, Hades. I was thinking only of myself. As always. I'm selfish, the way I have always been. I am naive, and I am selfish, and I'm not worth it. I'm not worth you. I was hurting, and I forgot that you were hurting too. I'm sorry. I should have found another way. Another way to make her stop."

He quietly shook his head, moisture gleaming in his eyes, his pale white fingers lovingly stroking my arm.

"You deserve better than me. All I have ever brought you is misery, Hades," I said at last, drawing back from his touch.

"You're right."

I looked up, shaken. His eyes were black, all the grey washed out in a wave of inky midnight.

"You're right," he said again, slower, with more deliberation. As if he were repeating the words to himself.

As if he was trying to convince himself to register what just happened.

"You don't deserve me. And I don't deserve you. I had one job. One job. I should have protected you, and I failed."

"What?" I snarled. "What? There was no way you could have done anything!"

"I died. I let you waste yourself to save my worthless life. I was your husband. I loved you. And yet, I wasn't there when you needed me the most," his heartbroken gaze met mine. Another silver tear rolled down his nose, falling into my palm.

"No," startled words broke from my lips. "Don't say that."

He did not reply. His gaze wordlessly melted away into nothing but a blank stare, as if his brain hadn't wrapped itself around the shock yet.

"You," I whispered, "you are a gem. You are a better man than anyone could ask for. You are better than a thousand Olympians put together. You are a heart of gold trapped in a cage of bones. You aren't a nightmare. You're a dream. You are a storm. A devastation. And I must leave you because I love you too much to let my misery make you suffer."

The way he looked at me then - I would never forget that look. Never forget the way what little light there was left in his eyes died out slowly, a star disappearing in the darkness. That look would haunt me for the rest of my life, and after that too. He was a broken, devastating god, the painful beauty of his stabbing me like a knife in the gut.

"Tomorrow, then," Hades croaked in the silence, his cold thumb slowly wiping the lingering moisture in my eyes.

"Tomorrow it is," I said softly, and pressed my lips to his, the tears melting on our tongues.