Dedicated to @Habzii

Chapter 20

Why Lucas?

I blinked my eyes again, hoping what I was seeing was just delusional. It wasn't.

When Vanessa pulled me away, passing by the disgusting couple which I had the urge to accidentally tumble into in hopes that they would end up frolicking on the ground, Lucas didn't even turn his head. Even if a tank passes by, he probably wouldn't notice it. He was too preoccupied sharing his saliva with the bitch.

I tried analyzing everything, I really tried but no answer came up. It just didn't add up from how Lucas treated me, from him as the perfect stereotype of a charming prince, to a guy engaging in too much PDA. It just showed that we didn't know much about each other. And nor did I know much about Vanessa who was currently sitting on my bed, her soulless eyes staring into dead air.

"Spill Nessa and don't even deny that you're not affected or else I'll confront Lucas instead," I said confidently.

She finally averted her eyes at me. "No Clarissa, please." She caught hold of my arm. "I don't want to get involved anymore."

"What do you mean?"

Her eyes started brimming with tears and her lips quivered slightly. "Lucas and I—"

The door suddenly swung open and in came a furious looking Ria. She obviously saw the ghastly scene.

"Nessa are you alright? I mean I kind of know you have a crush on Lucas."

The truth was finally out in the open. Ria's bluntness broke Nessa down. From then did I notice how fragile Nessa was, how thin and weak she truly was as she spilled everything. It was wrenching to see.

"Lucas and I---we were best friends since childhood. We hung out a lot until Anastasia came to the picture. When Anastasia pulled the big prank on me, I wasn't really sad because of what she did. What made me so sad was because Lucas wasn't there for me. He couldn't even look at me. For the first time in my life I felt like trash that deserved to burn in hell. How could I believe in myself, when no one could believe in me? W-when Lucas as so much acted like I didn't deserve even just his look of sympathy? What does that make of me then?" She sobbed on Ria's shoulder.

"Alright, I'm going to kick his annoying ass now." I clenched my teeth.

"I'll help you," Ria added.

"No guys please, it's over. I'm fine, maybe he just lost interest in me. I mean I'm such a boring friend." Nessa gave us a painful smile.

I think I'm gonna go give Lucas a black eye too.

"He's an asshole for not wanting to be your friend. You're great Nessa."

"Yeah, he's not only an asshole, he's also very stupid for replacing you with that bitch."

Nessa smiled, a real smile. "We weren't like that though, we were just friends, and besides it's only natural for them to kiss each other."

"I don't like where this is going."

"What do you mean natural? Like a natural attraction?"

Nessa gave us a tight-lipped smile. "They're engaged."

*****

Nessa cried herself to sleep as Ria and I tried to console her. She said it would be her last time to cry and that she was really sorry. When she was on the verge of falling asleep she kept saying sorry which annoyed me so much because she shouldn't have felt that way if it wasn't for Lucas. They should freaking apologize to her.

I needed air so I went out. With the nearing talent contest and this Lucas issue, it was overwhelming and made me crave for something—something familiar, distracting, and disturbingly sexy—.

"Clarissa why are you out at this time of night?" Gavier's voice jolted me up.

"Jesus, a little footsteps here and there would have been a good warning."

"I like to surprise." He smirked lifting my chin up so he could get a better view of my face.

"I don't really like surprises," I said and tried to get his hand off, which I failed to do because the minute I touched his hand, it suddenly didn't want to move anymore.

"Your opinion is none of my concern. I live to do what I want," he said arrogantly as he stroked my lower back, closing the distance between us.

I gasped and glared at him, feeling a bit intimidated by our near proximity. "A king should value his subject's opinions."

"Then I'm sure glad I'm not a king," he said, now stroking my cheek which my hand still couldn't help but keep holding.

"Gavier why do you like touching me?"

"Is that a necessary question?"

"Can you please not change the subject?"

He smirked then bent forward, slowly kissing my jaw. "Why do you think I like touching you Clarissa?"

I closed my eyes and sighed as he began to continue kissing downward to my sensitive neck.

"I think you know why I like touching you," he said huskily, "You just love to fucking deny it."

I shivered at his contact. Maybe I'm really denying this, whatever this is.

He kissed my cheek one last time and let go which made my body protest for some reason. He held my hand and unconsciously we started walking in the empty hallway.

"It would really confuse a lot of people, with you and this—"

"This what?"

"Flirting?" It was the nearest word I could think of.

"That's the last thing I would care about."

"Of course, you won't. You don't care about anything." My tongue slipped and I bit it hard, regretting instantly what I just said. My tone of voice was pathetic too, it was as if I wanted him to care, as if I wanted him to care about me, even just a little bit. This is so fucked up.

Gavier understood, he was an intelligent guy. He slammed me by the wall, trapping me between his arms and legs. I could feel his tense body against mine as he lifted my chin up to look deeply in my eyes.

I met his raging blue ones and glared back. "You can't just slam me anytime on the wall," I protested, trying to change the subject.

"Don't fuck with me Clarissa. Why did you say that earlier?"

"I don't want to talk about this. Forget what I said." I flinched and tried to move away but he wouldn't let me.

His eyes softened and he leaned closer until his body was covering mine, his face at my ear. He was so close, he could probably hear my jack-hammering heartbeat.

"I do care," he whispered, "I care about you all the time."

If I was a barbecue, I would be burnt. If I was a building, I would have fallen. If I was ice, I would have melted. I gave in.

Slowly I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. Besides this type of Gavier comes out only once in a blue moon. It was probably the first time he said something serious and sincere to me.

Time should stop, I must relish this feeling.

*****

"I'm really nervous," Nessa said, "I've never done this before."

"What do you have to be so insecure about? You've practiced before the contest," Ria said in her famous monotone.

"And if you want to get back at Lucas. Just do your best, it would tell him in his face what he was missing out," I said as I fixed her sleeves.

Nessa laughed. "Stop it guys, it's not like I'm Rhianna."

But she did, the girl turned from an angel to a freaking goddess. Lucas would be stoned.

Since I didn't know what to perform in my contest yet and that it was still a few days away, I decided I would help out with Nessa and Ria's performance. And nope, I have no idea what do with mine, now moving on. . .

I peeked outside, the judges were there, 5 of them to be exact. One was bald, the other guy was with glasses and a French mustache, then there were two fancy and preppy ladies; one with a Chihuahua, the other with a humongous hat, and lastly the guy with the Hitler look—he was everything in the word intimidating.

Most of the spectators were the students and they were dressed formally; their suits and dresses seemed to scream thousands of dollars. How about me? I wore our uniform after debating with Nessa that the given clothes were too small for me, she finally gave in after I tried one that fit but when I sat, it ripped apart like it was meant to be.

I finally found Lucas amongst the crowd. He was dressed in a black suit with a white coat, a tequila in hand, and by Eric who wore the same except for the blue coat. Girls from around were swooning at them, sneaking glances from time to time, it was so obvious though.

"Now, may I present you a beautiful princess from Indonesia, daughter of Queen Guiverra. Please welcome, Princess Vanessa Ulsery Pottera Blighton!"

I glanced back at Vanessa and Ria to give them a thumbs up and scurried my way outside. Somehow I found my way beside Lucas who smiled at me. I would have smiled back, if the scene of him kissing Anastasia didn't flash in my mind.

The lights dimmed and from the center of the stage ascended Nessa. The crowd hushed after seeing the goddess who smiled before them. She was dressed in a white glittering dress, her hair which we curled earlier cascaded wonderfully down her shoulders. Everyone was gaping, including Lucas. He was mesmerized, I wouldn't blame him.

"Hi everyone!" She said cheerfully and waved. "I'll be singing a song for this talent show. Hope you like it."

The music of "Stay with me" by Sam Smith began.

"This song is for someone who was really close to me before but now we're nothing but strangers. It hurts to think of what we've become but what can I do but move on? You know who you are and I want you to know how grateful I am but from now on I won't look at the past, I'll live in the present, and I'll smile in the future even if you won't be part of it anymore."

Nessa's speech was simple but I could tell it struck many hearts. Even I couldn't help but tear up. I glanced beside me and expected Lucas to still smile like the charming prince he was but I was wrong.

Anger, sadness and pain were evident in his eyes, his jaw clenched and he was frowning.

"Are you okay? Is there something wrong?" I nudged and asked him.

His smiling façade was instantly back. "Nessa just surprised me, she looks stunning."

"She always does."

"So beautiful." His voice changed into longing which was confusing. He totally misses her but he was the one who pushed her away.

He must be a sadist, like eating a burger without a patty. Why is he so hard on himself?

This thought must have spiked my brain cells, connecting the word burger to Lucas. Burger, burger, burger. . .

Memories from that day flooded in, I finally remembered.

It was late in the afternoon and my dad texted me to buy some fast food on my way back because the maid called in sick and nobody likes cooking dinner at home. Burger King was the nearest restaurant to my house and when I came inside the sight of the long line made me grumble aloud.

I was about to leave when the person with a big black coat spoke beside me.

"Too impatient," he said, swiveling to my side. The coat had a hood so I couldn't really see his face.

"Wasting time isn't my thing," I retorted.

"It's nice to know that you value time."

"What do you want?"

"A burger like you do."

"Why am I even talking to a creep like you?"

"Because you're intrigued."

"Who are you anyway?"

"I'm the prince from Venice."

"Bullshit."

He laughed, "Don't think so."

"Okay comedy's over it's time for some realistic response."

He laughed some more. "I like you, you're pretty awesome, you know."

He shook his head. "No, you're perfect."

"Perfect for what?"

And that was the end of our conversation. The waitresses asked for his order and I took the liberty to leave.

Back at the contest, Lucas was still staring at Nessa, enchanted by her beauty and the way she sung.

Why Lucas?

It took some time for me to finally piece the puzzle together.

Oh he's smart.

I always wondered why he took an interest in me, always wondered why somehow our conversation always ends up with me talking about my roomates, specifically Nessa. I even wondered why out of the many rooms in the academy I was put up with high-class ladies while I'm just a commoner.

The a-hole is cunning I tell you. He was nice to me so he could know things about Nessa only her closest friend would know and the dumb me complied. I was like a fly that got trapped in his cobweb and as much as it hurt to face the truth, it was the only conclusion that I could possibly think of, for the prick couldn't care less about me.

He was only using me.