《Messy Love》Just Like Me
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'Hammer me down, let me carry your cross,
I think I've got a problem, think I've already lost'
The ride back to Tyson's feels empty. He hasn't spoken to me once since pulling me away from The Lost Souls. With loyalty or blood, continues to replay in my mind. Ace has a coldness about him, that brought goosebumps to my skin.
We head inside in silence, and as he is undoing my helmet his eyes look distant. "Hey," I say softly.
He moves away from my hands reaching for his face. "Please don't," he says emotionless.
"Tyson, please talk to me," I can feel tears forming in the corners of my eyes.
"Bella! Don't you get it? I'm done!" He also has tears making his eyes watery.
"Well back to my idea about running away," I say calmly but my voice breaks at the end. I know what is about to happen, I could see it in his eyes.
"Do you know what happens if they catch us? They kill us Bella."
"Then we don't let them catch us," I can hear the stubbornness in my tone.
His hands go to his hair in frustration, not for me but because of the shitty hand he has been dealt. "You really just think I'm going to risk your life!?"
"There has to be another way-" I suck in a deep breath as my tears now flow. "The police will help-"
"I don't know which ones to trust! And if we go to the police and they find out, we will be tortured before they kill us!"
"It's my decision to stay by you!" I yell, my tears now falling from my face.
"It's my choice to leave you Bella," his tears spilling from his eyes, my heart is being punched repeatedly at the site of him.
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I sniff away some tears. "Please don't do this," I beg.
"Get out," he says firmly.
"Please..." I go to reach for him.
"GET OUT!!" He picks up his helmet and launches it across the apartment.
I back away from him, not because I'm scared, but because my shattered heart can't take anymore.
I reach for my bag and keys before rushing out the door. As soon as I'm on the other side I can hear him destroying his place. His screams and the sound of smashing easily evade the closed door.
I sob loudly as I make my way to the car, desperately wanting to rush back in and hold him; but knowing it's not an option right now. I can't force my love onto him.
I sit in my car for a bit, trying to get my breathing under control. I don't want to start driving when I can't see from the tears blocking my view. I take some deep breaths, slowly. I spent years with a guy and I never felt close to the pain I am feeling with Tyson. I know he doesn't actually want me gone and that he is just protecting me, but his distant eyes pierced my heart like a dagger.
Something then sticks out about our conversation...I don't know which ones to trust. And then it hits me. I do know which one to trust.
I pull up to Charlotte's house and check the mirror. My face is still red and I wipe beneath my eyes to try and conceal the fact that I have been crying. "Okay," I breathe out. I make my way towards the front door, the sun is beginning to set so I am assuming Uncle Stan is home, well I was really hoping he is.
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Jane opens the door. "Bella?" She says excitedly and then towards the end of my name her voice turns to concern as she takes in my face.
"Hi Aunt Jane," I give her a quick hug.
"Is everything okay?" She closes the door behind us.
"Bella!" Jeremey runs into my arms.
"Hey Jere!" I ruffle his hair as he pulls away.
"I was wondering if Uncle Stan is home?"
"He's in his office," she points down the hall. "Do you need me to get you anything?"
"No, thank you though."
I knock three times. "Come in," he calls. "Bella?" His confusion is clear on his face.
"I need your help Uncle Stan, and you can't tell a soul about it."
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