guilt.

Just plain guilt.

It's just creeping inside of me, just digging a hole inside my heart.

Why did I have to say something. Why did I let out Eric's secret? I was fine, I was starting to have Alex finally all to myself and now she's gone.

Well she's still around since we're getting married but her feelings will be gone for me.

Eric still hates me. Not affected there.

But what bugs me is that everyone at school is teasing him.

I knew I should of kept it to myself.

Jealousy always brings out the worse in me.

I was sitting in the caf with Leah and Andre swapping saliva. Ever since Alex release their secret relationship, they haven't separated their lips at all what's so ever.

It is making me sick.

Peaking a look at the couple, I notice Andre's hands were traveling to a place he shouldn't be going to in public. "Guys! If you wanna do it, go somewhere private!" I barked

Both of them stopped and looked over at me for a moment. "You okay Drew?" Andre asked

Andre only use Drew when he wants something.

Both Andre and I fell into a staring contest. Leah looked beyond confuse but I couldn't care, he's not leaving with Leah.

Leah clicked in on what was going on and whispered something in his ear. His eye brows slowly rise up, "Sorry bro, I gotta go!"

He grabbed his bag, Leah's hand, and scurried out of the cafeteria.

I picked at my food and groaned. "Why is this happening to me?"

"What is happening to you?"

I glance across the table and notice a blond girl sitting in front of me. I took the moment to check her out. Her hair was long but not to long, she had nice full size boobs and her figure was amazing.

I smirked over at her and thought of an idea. "You wanna go for a walk?" I asked in a flirtatious tone.

Her cheeks flush and she nodded her head. I left my tray at the table and took the girls hand.

We were walking towards the door when I glance over at Alex and Eric who were glaring at me. I quickly looked away and focused on the girl who I wanted for today.

I needed to get laid. That was my problem. my feelings for Alex wasn't there, I wasn't jealous of Eric for "wanting" Alex. She was wrong last night.

I don't want her.

Both the girl and I kept on walking until we reach the empty classroom that I would always use to "Hook up with people".

"What are we doing here?" The girl purred.

She was trying at least. I smirked, "You'll see."

I opened the classroom and notice it was empty. I grabbed the hold of the girl and brought her against the wall. "Have you ever had sex in a classroom?" I whispered in her ear seductively.

"No," she breathlessly said

I met my lips with hers and lifted her up against the wall. She wrapped her legs around my hips. I nibbled on her lips for entrance and she gladly allowed me to.

She started to run her fingers underneath my shirt, wanting me to loose my control.

See, I need this. I need sex.

I groaned in her mouth and brought her to one of the row of desk and laid her down. She started kissing my neck while pulling my top towards my shoulders.

She bit my soft spot, "Alex," I moaned

"What did you just say?"

I froze. I did not just say her name.

"Did you just say Alex's name? While making out with me?!" The girl snapped.

Yep, I said her name.

I guess I was taking to long to reply, she pushed me away.

"You freaking b*stard!" She left the room not without slamming the door behind her.

I sat down in one of the desk and ran my fingers through my hair. Did I actually say Alex's name?!

Why would I mistake the girl who I was just about to hook up with name with Alex. Until I realize;

I am in love with Alex.

Fixing myself, I needed to talk to Alex. But how? She hates my guts. How could I possibly get her back?

I slammed my fist against the wall. I never had her in the first place!

I started pacing the empty classroom. Even though class was about to start I was wondering how to win Alex.

She must like me, does she? Well, theirs only one way to find out.

I walk out of the classroom and made my way towards the school parking lot. I know mom will give me crap for ditching but this was important.

I needed to fix things.

~~~~~

It was around four in the afternoon and I was standing outside of Eric's house.

I need to make things right.

I walk up to the door and knocked. After a few moments Eric's mom opened the door her hair was the exact colour as Eric's but with a few strands of grey, she was wearing work clothes but also an apron to keep her clothes clean. "Why hello? How may I help you?"

"Is Eric here? I wanted to ask him about the assignment today?"

His mom smiled and opened the door wider for me. "Well yes come in! Come in!"

I walked inside and took off my shoes. "He's in his room studying, just keep the door open will yah?" She said then winked.

I suddenly realize what she meant and I blushed, "Will do," I raced up stairs and stopped in my tracks. I forgot to ask which one was his door.

I listen out to each door until I heard music blasting in one. I knocked on the door and heard him mumble a 'come in' I opened the door and saw that Eric was busy writing in his note book at his desk.

He looked up and groaned, "Why does my mom think every guy that visits me is someone I'm hooking up with." He turned his chair to the book shelf and slipped out a dictionary.

"If you want me to go I'll go.."

"No sit," he pointed his pencil at a chair. I sat down and waited until he finish his work. He scribbled down a few words and then dropped his pencil on the notebook. He turned his chair around and looked at me, "What brought you to my house?"

"I came to apologize," I said, "I shouldn't have exposed you like that to the whole school. I was jealous and angry even though you play for the other team and still get the girls," I paused for a moment and looked down towards the floor. "Especially Alex."

Eric leaned back in his chair and smirked, "You really like Alex huh?"

I rolled my eyes, "It's not anything new to you. You already known this, I told you this when I was drunk one day."

Yes I can admit now. I Andrew Carter have feelings for Alex. It's been a while since I have develop these feelings. She has been the only girl I ever wanted to be with, but I messed it up way to many times to even think of having a opportunity with her. Eric knew along. He never mentioned it to anyone, it was our secret. He kept it.

Eric scratched his chin and hummed in thought. He stopped humming and slipped out a chuckle, "I have something to confess to you."

I raised my eye brow, "What?"

Eric paused for a moment and given me a serious look, "No judgement okay?"

I nodded my head and waited for him to begin.

"When you told me that you liked Alex, it was a time when I didn't know what I truly wanted. Yeah it was last summer but while I was away I was experimenting. I still had feelings for Alex and it was so hard to release those feelings. I had a 'thing' with a guy over the summer and he told me that I should go back and figure things out again. Not run away but face it. So I did.

I came back and I looked over at Alex and she has changed, that made me realize that I have change also. I wasn't Eric the cheater, I was just confused Eric; not knowing what I want. After a while of trying to figure out a way to get Alex back I realize I didn't want her love or a relationship with her. I wanted forgiveness." He looked over at me and smiled, "And I got it."

I thought about what he told me and I sighed, "Eric. I am so sorry for what I have done. If I could do anything for you to accept my forgiveness I will."

Eric glanced over at me, "Anything?"

I nodded my head in response.

"Apologize to Alex and win her back," He blurted out.

"But she-"

"Andrew," He half smiled, "Come on, I can't be the only one who notice?"

"Notice what?" I asked

"Dude, the girl likes you so much she hates you. She's so confused she doesn't know what the hell to do with herself that she is just hating you. She hates you so much she loves you!" He explained

Thinking over his thought, I never once notice she had feelings for me. The kisses we shared on Thanks-giving, the Gala. Does she really have feelings for me?

"Go find out,"

I snapped out of my thoughts and notice Eric standing up and holding out the door for me, "You just asked if she has feelings for you and I said go find out,"

I grabbed Eric into a hug, "Thanks man, for everything and I'm sorry."

Eric lightly tapped on my back. "Yeah you're welcome but just because I'm helping you doesn't mean you can hug me now,"

I quickly pulled away and saw that Eric was laughing to himself, "Just go, she's home now."

I walked out of his room and rushed down the stairs. I walked to the front door and saw that Eric's mom peaked her head out from the kitchen, "leaving already?" She asked

Nodded my head I said, "Yes but I will see you soon Mrs. Truman!" Then I closed the door behind me. I ran over to my car, opened the door and sat inside. I started the engine and drove down the street. I arrived at Alex's house and shut off my engine.

I opened my car door and ran up the stairs to the front door. I found my keys and unlocked the door. "Alex!" I yelled out. I stepped inside and closed the door behind me. "I need to talk to you!"

I heard the door slam upstairs. I guess she's upstairs. I ran up the steps and reached into front of her door. I knocked on the door and heard a "Get out!"

"No, I'm not leaving until we talk," I said.

"We just talked and now you leave!" She yelled.

I rolled my eyes. Why am I struggling with this chick?

I opened her door and see her on her bed with her laptop. "I told you to leave," she continued on furiously typing on her laptop.

I grabbed her laptop and placed it on her desk. "What the hell was that for?!" She shrieked.

"Alex I--"

She shoved me to the side and started heading to the door. I couldn't take this anymore. Before she opened her door I placed my hand on door and slammed it shut. She stepped back and crossed her arms.

"I came over here to apologies. Not to fight, yell, scream. But to say I'm sorry," I said

She was about to open her when I placed my finger over her lips. "I'm sorry for treating you like crap all these years, I'm sorry for not telling you the truth about Eric, I'm sorry for ruining your birthday. I already went over to Eric's a minute ago and apologize." She stop resisting and closed her mouth. I pulled away my finger and sighed, "You see. Eric and I been holding each other's secret for years now. You know his secret and now I can tell you mine,"

She stood in silence waiting for me to speak.

"I have been in love with you as long as I can remember. These feelings have been buried deep into my heart since the time I pushed you away when we were eight."

Her eyes were tearing up. Oh god that's not want I wanted!

I closed my eyes and sighed, to catch myself, "I tried to push you away, I tried to hating you, but I couldn't I just couldn't. It was hard. Seeing you every day made me hate the fact that I love you."

Alex looked down at her toes.

We were standing in the middle of her room for a while. No one was talking, Alex did not say anything.

"Are you going to say anything?" I asked softly.

She lifted her head and tears were rolling down her cheek. "Andrew I don't know what to say," she wiped the side of her face and sniffled, "I hate you so much, really really much but--"

I groaned, "Oh for god sake!" I pushed her up against the wall and smashed my lips onto hers. She gladly accepted.

Our lips were moving in sync, releasing all the tension, hatred, anger and confusion with the one thing we needed was filling our hearts.

Love