"I may stop loving you but I will never stop loving the days in which I loved you"

-Ruskin bond

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We all have that one person who we can give up our lives for.

Mine was him, a loving man who always found ways to make me laugh.

Who goes by the name Jo Woochan

Our first encounter was at a book fair. I was a regular customer like him. We were completely in contrast, but those were the things that made us want each other.

Late night walks and movie nights became a regular thing. He was quite charming and sort of the flirty type. I will never forget the day we went out not as friends but as a date this time.

We started dating and spent a lot of our free time together. One would call us inseparable but I would say that we were quite cool.

We shared many intimate moments and had many heartfelt conversations lasting long

He was there for me, everything I ever wanted from a person, he filled up that last lonely gap in my heart waiting to be occupied.

But the universe had other plans,

March 28 th 2022, he was diagnosed with bronchus cancer, chemotherapy was too late to be started. The doctor declared that he might not have many days left.

We tried to cherish every moment hoping for a miracle to happen.

We went on vacations, talked about "future" but the time came.

July 12th 2022, he ascended to heaven,

Depression had overtaken, I tried everything I could to get over him but my mind chose not to

Every dreadful day was met by the thought 'what if I did that' maybe he wouldn't have passed away

That just broke me more

I was drained out everyday, feeling no worth from life. Lying in bed all day rethinking how he was always there for me

My appetite died out, tears of grief flew out of my eyes,

I didn't leave my house for days

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The scar remained. Everytime I rethought our old memories, the sharp ache came back to my heart.

Hating the days of existence but I still tried

Day after day

Months after months

Time didn't seem to heal my wounds, instead I learnt how to live with them.

I promised to myself that I will never get over him, he will always remain as a small part of me.

I learnt how to accept grief and be myself again

Life will always have its ups and downs, by trying to heal them let us not lose our selves

It's not forgetting a bad memory, it's learning how to form a place for it and accept it

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After words----

........ SoOeeer, did you like it? Please tell me, your opinion is very much necessary, I tried writing in a diary like style for once

For those people who are struggling with life rn just know that you are not alone, yes I know it sounds cliché but it's the least a small author can say, no but seriously

YOU MATTER, SO IF YOU DON'T STOP HATING YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE I WILL FIND YOU AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF UNLESS YOU KISS YOUR FEET

BITCH, I KNOW YOUR ADDRESS

DON'T TRY ME