《SEDATED, kaz brekker》chapter ten
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, was familiar with all of the girl's masks and truths she chose to leave unsaid. There had been a time when she knew the girl better than anyone else. Lianna knew everything about Nina's childhood as an orphan; about her beginnings in the Little Palace; about her dreams of saving the countries, ambitions so enormous for someone like her, brought up on hunger and poverty. She knew.
And then she had left Nina behind, and now there was so much of her that was foreign. It was still Nina, that Lianna was sure of – she could recognize the girl she used to know by her laugh and the sense of easiness she brought into a room. But there was more to her now, so much trauma and greatness Lianna hadn't a clue about. No matter their past, it was possible she would never truly know the girl again.
But after all this time, even if the world would turn in on itself and the stars burned out, Lianna knew Nina would never be short of persistent.
"What will I see when I get to the Ice Court?" Nina yelled at Matthias, the barbarian quivering before her like a young dog.
Lianna hated him. She could not stand the sight of Matthias Helvar.
"You're frightened," Matthias said to Nina as the rest of them came to a stop a few meters away.
"Yes," Nina said. "Tell me. I need to know. Torture chambers? A pyre blazing from a rooftop?"
"They don't use pyres at the Court any more." Matthias seemed to think it was truly a valid response. Lianna wish she could get away with killing him right then and there.
"Then what? Drawing and quartering? Firing squads? Does the Royal Palace have a view of the gallows?"
"I've had enough of your judgements, Nina. This has to stop."
"He's right. You can't go on this way," Jesper said from beside Lianna.
"How dare you say that?" It was cruel to hear such words from Matthias. From Jesper, they were unbearable. "You... You have no god damn clue what our people have gone through. They murder us, they hunt us for sport and you stand there and tell that scum he's the right to silence Nina. You stand there and act as if– as if calling them monsters is an exaggaration. You–"
"Lianna, that's not what I mean," Jesper said softly. "You know that's not what I mean."
She knew. But at that point, after what they'd seen, with all the hatred spilling from her heart in a foreigner's land, she could not care less. Lianna would have gone against the Saints given the chance. She could not keep that rage inside her quietly. The fact that Jesper did not deserve to be the object of her anger was a different matter completely. One she didn't want to bring herself to consider.
Out of nowhere, she thought of her younger step-siblings. She remembered Andrei and Anton, mad to see her go. Milana, hopeful for her return and the day they could go for the walk by the ocean that Lianna promised to take her on. It was pathetic, really, how a mere thought of them almost brought her to tears. Andrei had to flee Ravka merely a child, to leave everything he had known behind, all because of people like Matthias. He, and Anton, and Milana. And Cassian. There was no universe in which they deserved to suffer so greatly.
"I don't care what you mean," Lianna spitted out. "You aren't a Grisha. I don't care what any of you have to say. Stay out of this."
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Jesper looked hurt at her words, and a twisted kind of satisfaction rooted itself in Lianna's chest at that sight.
"She's right," Nina said. "Stay out of this."
"If you two keep fighting, you're going to get us all killed, and I have a lot more card games I need to lose," Jesper answered.
"You must find a way to make peace," said Inej. "At least for a while."
"This is not your concern," Matthias growled.
"Don't talk to Inej this way," Lianna answered.
Matthias shot her an angered glare. Kaz stepped forward, his expression dangerous.
"It is very much our concern," he said.
"You've all been taken in by her," Matthias accused. "This is what she does. She makes you think she's your friend and then—"
Inej crossed her arms. "Then what?"
"Let it go, Inej."
"No, Nina," Matthias said. "Tell them. You said you were my friend once. Do you remember?" He turned to the others. "We travelled together for three weeks. I saved her life. We saved each other. When we got to Elling, we ... I could have revealed her to the soldiers we saw there at any time. But I didn't." Matthias started pacing, his voice rising, as if the memories were getting the better of him. "I borrowed money. I arranged lodging. I was willing to betray everything I believed in for the sake of her safety. When I saw her down to the docks so we could try to book passage, there was a Kerch trader there, ready to set sail." Matthias was there again, standing on the docks with her, she could see it in his eyes. "Ask her what she did then, this honourable ally, this girl who stands in judgement of me and my kind."
"Whatever she did, you deserved," Lianna said instead. "For your people's crimes if not for anything else. Nina should have killed you where you stood."
"Tell them, Nina," Matthias demanded. "They should know how you treat your friends."
Nina swallowed, then met Lianna's gaze. Lianna had heard that story before, but she was fine with holding it. Whatever was easier for Nina. "I told the Kerch that he was a slaver and that he'd taken me prisoner. I threw myself on their mercy and begged them to help me. I had a seal I'd taken from a slaving ship we'd raided near the Wandering Isle. I used it as proof."
Lianna felt Jesper and Wylan shift on either side of her, but neither said anything. She wondered if Inej knew. Kaz probably did, and whatever was known to him, was known to his Wraith as well.
"I didn't understand what was happening," said Matthias. "I didn't speak Kerch, but Nina certainly did. They seized me and put me in chains. They tossed me in the brig and kept me there in the dark for weeks while we crossed the sea. The next time I saw daylight was when they led me off the ship in Ketterdam."
"Oh, well," Lianna said. "A home warmer than this land of ice and ruins, wasn't it?"
"You disgust me," Matthias said to her. "You–"
"Quit it," Inej said then. "No one here wishes to hear it, I assure you."
"I had no choice," Nina interrupted. "You don't know—"
"Just tell me one thing," he said. "If you could go back, if you could undo what you did to me, would you?"
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"No," she said clearly, her voice echoing off the endless ice. "I'd do it all over again."
A sudden rumbling shook the ground. Matthias lost his footing and fell onto the snow. Lianna cast a sideways look at Jesper, who met her puzzled gaze, a silent question in his eyes.
"This couldn't be a Grisha's doing," Lianna said. "No one strong enough would be allowed to wander this far north."
The thought of Zoya Nazyalensky and Anya Vinogradev crossed her mind. Then, she considered the stories she had heard about Sankta Alina and the man who had called himself the Darkling. They could as well be the most powerful Grisha known since generations, but not a single one was known to... what? Shake the earth at its core? It made no sense.
"Are there fault lines this far north?" Wylan asked.
Matthias frowned, standing up on unsteady legs. "Not that I know of, but—"
A slab of earth shot up from beneath Matthias' feet, knocking him to the ground once more. Another erupted to Nina's right, sending her sprawling. Another slab almost pierced Lianna's chest. She jumped backwards, barely avoiding it, and stumbled into Jesper. He grabbed her arm to help her get her balance back. All around them, crooked monoliths of earth and ice burst upwards, as if the ground was coming to life. A harsh wind whipped at their faces, snow spinning in flurries.
"What the hell is this?" cried Jesper.
"Some of kind of earthquake!" shouted Inej.
"No," said Nina, pointing to a dark spot that seemed to be floating in the sky, unaffected by the howling wind. "We're under attack."
Lianna looked up, and lost her footing doing so. Jesper exclaimed next to her, but she didn't hear it. "It's impossible," she muttered. "It cannot be."
Grisha Squallers could control current. Some could toss people into the air given they concentrated enough, just like Lianna would do to her little brothers. But the level of finesse and power it took to maintain controlled flight was unthinkable and Lianna's head hurt just thinking of how exhausting it had to be.
"Wylan!" Lianna exclaimed, yanking the boy by his arm before a piece of ice aiming for his face could hit the target. Wylan stumbled into her and they both fell onto the shaking ground.
Lianna turned from her back onto her stomach and moved upwards on her arms, eyes frantically searching for Kaz. She saw him then, cane in hand, standing on bent knees. The ground around him shook violently, shooting up slabs, and a grimace of pain flashed through Kaz's face. Something must have hit his injured leg. Lianna gathered every last bit of the little strength she still had and used it all to stand up.
Wylan let out a shriek behind her, but she forced herself to ignore it, to ignore the way Nina trembled and Jesper fell over. She couldn't help any of them by just running around like a lost animal. Their enemy was one of her people, after all, an Etherealki. If anyone were to best him, it had to be her.
Lianna lowered her stance and widened her feet to steady herself like she used to during sparrings back in the Little Palace. The Squaller was turning in the air, the movements of his hands were gracious and slow. The spikes of ice shooting from the ground were corralling them, pushing them closer together to make a single, easy target.
The enemy's abilities terrified her. But Lianna was a skilled one, too. And she had the advantage of surprising their enemy with what she was capable of. After all, how was he to know she was a Squaller, too.
"I need a distraction!" shouted Jesper from somewhere in the storm.
"Get down," cried Wylan.
Lianna did not. When a slab of ice shot up from the ground a few feet from her, she launched forward and jumped, landing on top of it. She almost fell, but with one move of her hand she created a temporary current of the air, strong enough to steady her.
A boom sounded near her, and an explosion lit the sky just to the right of the Squaller. Wylan. From her position above, Lianna was the only one who could clearly see the Squaller being thrown off course. The winds dropped as he was forced to focus on righting himself. He did not seem to notice that the impact lowered his position by meters.
Wylan's explosion helped Lianna remain unnoticed for a briefest second, but once he did, it was too late. By then, Lianna had already felt the air around, above and below her, she could sense it flowing into her body and through her veins, and in tandem, she sensed her power rushing through the atmosphere, reaching out, able to target. Before the Squaller readied himself to make a move, Lianna had already jumped, and the surprise on his face synchronized with the shouting of her crewmates behind her.
She didn't quite know what she intended to do, until suddenly, she was doing it. It was as if the making at the heart of the world took her by the hand and led the girl through void. A fraction of her powers went into furthering her jump until she was merely twenty, fifteen, ten meters away from the enemy. Once she was close enough to have certainity she'd not miss, her arms moved as if all on themselves.
Lianna felt as if she was floating through nothing, and then, as if she was to stay suspended in that place forever, unmoving. A blast of air so strong it could be heard was launched at the enemy, and the impact of it pushed Lianna backwards so far she ended up hitting one of the slabs of ice with her back. The Squaller floated in the air for a second and then began falling, as if unconcious.
Just for good measure, Jesper aimed his rifle and fired. A shot rang out, and the Squaller was hurtled towards the earth.
Lianna barely acknowledged the presence of someone by her side, before that person helped her get to her feet.
"Are you alright?" Inej asked. All Lianna could do was nod.
It should have been over then, but another slab of ice slid into place. Lianna looked at the trees further north and realised there was another person there.
Another Grisha.
"Jesper, look!" she exclaimed, pointing in that direction just as ground moved once more.
Without hesitation, Jesper aimed at the distant stand of trees. Before Jesper could get off a shot, the Grisha rammed a fist upwards, and Jesper was thrown off his feet by a shaft of earth. He rolled as he fell and fired from the ground. The boy in the distance cried out and dropped to one knee, but his arms were still raised, and the ground still rumbled and rocked beneath them. Jesper fired again and missed.
Lianna let go of Inej's hand. Could she repeat the miracle of a manevuer she performed a minute before? A cold fist wrapped itself around her heart and crushed it. She was not ready to die trying, that much was certain.
As Lianna made the first move, she felt someone touch her arm. It was Inej again, her dark eyes shining with focus and determination, like two bright moons on the firmament.
"Leave this to me," Inej said and waited for Lianna's nod.
Inej then signaled to Kaz. Without a word, he positioned himself against the nearest slab and cupped his hands at his knee. The ground buckled and swayed, but he held steady as she launched herself from the cradle of his fingers in a graceful arc. She vanished over the slab without a sound. A moment later, the ground went still.
"Trust the Wraith, Lianna" said Jesper.
They stood, dazed, the air strangely hushed after the chaos that had come before.
"Wylan," Jesper panted, pushing to his feet. "Get us out of here."
Wylan nodded, pulled a putty-coloured lump from his pack, and gently placed it against the nearest rock.
"Saints, how many of these do you have right now?" Lianna said.
"He's probably seen more bombs than people his age in his life," Jesper mused.
"Everybody down," Wylan instructed, ignoring them.
They crouched together in a cluster as far away as the enclosure would permit. Wylan slapped his hand against the explosive and dove away, careening into Matthias and Jesper as they all covered their ears. Nothing happened.
"Are you kidding me?" said Jesper, at the same time as Lianna exclaimed, "Wylan?"
Boom. The slab exploded. Ice and bits of rock rained down over their heads. Wylan was covered in dust and wearing a slightly dazed, deliriously happy expression.
Nina started to laugh. "Try to look like you knew it would work."
They stumbled out of the corral of slabs. Kaz gestured to Jesper. "Perimeter. Let's make sure there aren't more surprises."
They set off in opposite directions. Nina and the others found Inej standing over the body of the trembling Grisha. He wore clothes of olive drab, and his eyes were glassy. Blood spilled from the bullet wound in his upper thigh, and a knife jutted from the right side of his chest. Inej must have thrown it when she'd escaped from the enclosure. Nina kneeled beside him.
"Nina," Lianna muttered. "Doesn't he look familiar to you?"
"I..." Nina started, but she didn't get to finish.
"I need a little more," the Grisha mumbled. "Just a little more."
He grabbed at Nina's hand.
"Nestor?" Lianna spoke finally.
Memories came flooding down. At Lianna's feet lay the boy she used to fancy, all those years ago, back in the Little Palace. The boy she had foolishly tried to make herself blonde for. He twitched at the sound of his name, but he didn't seem to know her.
"Nestor, it's me, Nina," the Heartrender said, a soft tone to her raspy voice.
Lianna did her best to remember any information about the boy, anything besides his name. It felt too cruel to let him die forgotten, and she could see there was no going back from the state he was in. He was a Fabrikator, Lianna became pretty sure of it. One of the Durasts who worked with metal, glass, and fibers.
It didn't make sense. Fabrikators made textiles, weapons. He shouldn't have been capable of what she'd just witnessed.
"Please," he begged, his face crumpling. "I need more."
"Parem?" Nina asked.
"Yes," he sobbed. "Yes. Please."
"I can heal your wound, Nestor, if you stay still," Nina begged him.
Lianna exchanged a glance with Inej. If anyone, she thought, the Suli girl must had known it, too. Nestor was past being saved; the drug drained him completely, the wounds were lethal. Even Nina could never raise those long gone.
"I don't want your help," he said angrily, trying to push away from her.
"Please, Nestor. Please be still."
He was screaming now, fighting her.
"Nina," Inej said.
"Hold him down," Nina ignored her.
Matthias moved to help, and Nestor threw up his arms. The ground rose in a rippling sheet, thrusting them back.
"Nestor, please! Let us help you," the Heartrender cried.
He stood up, staggering on his wounded leg, pulling at the knife buried in his chest. "Where are they?" he screamed. "Where did they go?"
"Who?" Lianna asked. "Where did who go, Nestor? Were more people here with you?"
"The Shu!" he wailed. "Where did they go? Come back!" He took a wobbling step, then another. "Come back!"
He fell face forwards into the snow. He didn't move again.
Kaz and Jesper returned, panting.
"Anything?" asked Matthias.
Jesper nodded. "A party of people heading south."
"He was calling out for the Shu," Lianna said.
"We knew the Shu would send a team to retrieve Bo Yul-Bayur," said Kaz.
Jesper looked down at Nestor's motionless body. "But we didn't know they'd send Grisha. How can we be sure they aren't mercenaries?"
Kaz held up a coin emblazoned with a horse on one side and two crossed keys on the other. "This was in the Squaller's pocket," he said, tossing it to Lianna.
"It's a Shu wen ye," she said. Thomas Ford had taught her that – the Shu were one of the richest countries in the world, he thought it fitting his Grisha servants of adopted children knew about it. "The Coin of Passage. This must be a government mission."
"How did they find us?" Inej asked.
"Maybe Jesper's gunshots drew them," said Kaz.
"That's an unfair accusation, Kaz," Lianna said. "You cannot know that."
Jesper bristled and pointed at Nina and Matthias. "Maybe they heard these two shouting at each other. They could have been following us for miles."
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