Chapter 34

I don't know why I felt hurt. Maybe because I felt as if a part of me had been betrayed by Ryder. I knew this whole thing was too good to be true. He didn't like me, I was just his rebound. I hated him for doing this to me, even though it's only been one day. But I also hated myself even more for letting him get to me, for trusting him so much that when he was gone, it hurt like hell.

I should have stayed away. I knew it, but I kept telling myself that maybe he could be thoughtful, maybe he could be nice to me and treat me well.

God, I'm such a fool.

I was sitting in my bed, watching my little nightstand clock blink every second. The rain had started to pour now, how ironic. I was having a bad day and Mother Nature decides that a little storm could match my mood.

Curling myself up in a ball, I leaned back against the wall and sunk into the soft covers.

My eyes were droopy, and I was tired. I refused to cry, because the number one rule I always obliged by was to never, and I mean ever, cry over a boy. Especially one who was so evil, and manipulative, and horrible, and good-looking, and sweet, and kind, and...

STOP IT SELF. STOP IT.

See? This is what happens when you care too much for a person that doesn't and won't ever care back the same way for you. I hated this feeling of sadness and depending. Despised it completely.

I was almost asleep when a knock was heard from the door downstairs. I didn't have the emotional or physical energy to go answer, so I ignored it.

There it was again, those same four knocks that I had come to familiarize. It was Ryder.

I covered my head with a pillow and tried desperately to ignore the pounding of the door.

"Ruby! I know you're home!" the muffled sound of his voice echoed through the empty house. "Open up!"

I shrunk further into the comforter, but it was no use.

When finally the pounding stopped, I sighed a breath of relief and closed my eyes. Peace and qui-

A clicking sound of the door lock made my eyes shoot open. What the...?

I heard the door open and close. He must have picked the lock. That sneaky idiot. Then the sound of footsteps pounding up the stairs. My heart raced faster as they got louder and closer to my door.

"Ruby?" I heard his muffled voice outside the wooden door.

I hid underneath the covers in hope of him not finding me. The sound of the door swinging open; his footsteps nearing; all got me nervous.

I felt the bed sink from his weight. "Ruby?" he said, so softly that my heart broke.

The covers were slowly pulled off of me and I stared up at Ryder's gorgeous but heart breaking face.

"Hey..." he said softly, looking down at me with a frown and a crease in his forehead. "What are you doing?"

I sat up slowly and refused to make eye contact with him. "I think we should stop." I said.

I could see the frown etched in his face. "Stop what?"

I waved my hand in between us. "This, Ryder. This thing, whatever it is, that's going on between us."

"I don't understand, why would you wan-"

"Because you're a player, Ryder. And no matter what, all you'll ever do is break girl's hearts. I can't afford that type of pain anymore. No more kissing, no more flirting, and I certainly can't ever get myself to talk to you anymore."

I instantly felt guilty for saying those words when I saw his pained face, but kept strong.

He was puzzled, but then I saw his eyes fill with hurt and anger.

"You think I don't know that, Ruby!? You think I don't know that I've probably dated and dumped more girls than you can count!?" he yelled, then threw his hands in the air and scoffed. "People change, Ruby. I change. Do you really think that I would do that to you?"

"Well you slept with Monica!" I yelled back at him.

He froze and then shook his head. "That was before anything happened between us, Ruby. I was tired and frustrated. I couldn't handle-"

"Exactly, Ryder." I started. "That's what I'm scared of. That whenever you get tired of me not giving myself in to having sex with you, that you'll go and cheat. Monica said-"

"Monica can go to hell!" he yelled again and walked towards me. "Do you seriously believe that cruel person over me? What happened between Monica and I doesn't matter. She's not someone I care about anymore. She's jealous, Ruby. Can't you see?"

I felt tiny drops of tears prickling at my eyes. No. Don't cry over him. He's not worth it.

I shook my head slowly and gave him the best smile I could, which turned out to be broken. "I can't...I can't do this, Ryder."

His expression dropped and all I saw was lost hope. My heart kept telling me to go over to him and kiss him, but my brain said to let him leave.

"Ruby," he begged, "Please."

With a shattered heart and tears running down my face, I shook my head. "I'm sorry, Ryder. I just can't."

His expression hardened, and he gave me a stiff nod.

"Fine." He said, and walked out my door.

●●●